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by Rajan Khanna
After watching the craptacular mess that was the Knight Rider television movie earlier this year, I found myself wondering exactly why I was planning to watch the first episode of the ongoing television series. Was I really that interested in new content for the site? Did I really want to go beyond series I found interesting?
Apparently, the answer is yes.
Five minutes into the premiere of the Knight Rider series, I questioned that decision. The production values of this show seemed less than network. I wondered if maybe most of the budget was spent on special effects and Val Kilmer's salary (Kilmer is the voice of KITT in the new version). And the lead, Mike Traceur (Justin Bruening) has the charisma of a head of lettuce. But what almost completely destroyed my tenacity was the part where KITT, normally a Ford Mustang, transforms into a pick-up truck, seemingly generating new parts and mass through an orgiastic display of computer animation. I had the remote in my hands, my finger poised over the stop button.
In the end, however, I let it play. Sometimes we all like to watch train wrecks.
Knight Rider, an update of the 80s series, is about a guy and a car. Really. There's a lot more thrown in, but it basically comes down to that. For this series, the guy and the car in question work for a government agency. It's all very 24 with a team of analysts and agents who offer support to the guy and the car in a high-tech secret headquarters complete with lots of computer screens and computer simulations that can be manipulated with the flip of a hand.
The emphasis here is on action with fistfights and car chases and, in the pilot episode, a missile attack which results in a flaming high-speed car. The stakes in all of this action tend to get lost with vague references to packages and data. But there are plenty of dramatic expressions and dialogue to emphasize that it is important.
Additionally, this episode also introduces an element for Mike Tracer, namely the ever so rarely used mysterious past. It seems that Mike doesn't remember large parts of his military past and that proves to be fodder for a subplot that will likely stretch at least this whole season.
Sadly, I will never discover the nature of that past because frankly, one episode is all I could take. If, however, you like big explosions and flashy effects and don't really care about logical plots, character motivations or believable and likable characters, Knight Rider should be exactly what you want.
Knight Rider airs Wednesday nights on NBC.
Posted by Rajan at 08:52 PM
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Posted by EdContradictory at 12:00 PM
by Rajan Khanna
While most of my focus on the current television premiere season will be on genre shows (because there are certainly enough of them), occasionally I like to watch and try other kinds of programs. So it was last night that I passed up the increasingly boring (to me) Fringe for CBS' The Mentalist, starring Simon Baker.
The Mentalist is, at its heart, a police procedural, perfectly placed on a network that contains not one, but three CSI shows, NCIS, Numbers, Without a Trace, and Criminal Minds, all about law enforcement officers using specific sets of skills and abilities (and SCIENCE!) to capture criminals.
The Mentalist fits well into this mold. Aussie Simon Baker (demonstrating the common Australian acting ability to render perfect American accents) plays a consultant to the California Bureau of Investigation. Simon's character, Patrick Jane, has the ability to read people using his keen skills of observation – by body language, by the cues and items that he sees. It's a skill he employed, to his own benefit, by playing a psychic for years. Imagine John Edwards. But smoother and better looking.
Jane's life changes when he is brought on a serial killer case and in his hubris, claims to understand the serial killer in question. The serial killer responds by killing Jane's wife and child.
Which brings us to the present of the show, where Jane, cynical now and jaded, and in need of sleeping pills, is a regular consultant for the police department. His methods are unorthodox, and people don't always like him, but he gets results. In fact, judging by the pilot, he is the only one on the squad who does. The rest of the police officers seem to be around mostly for comic relief (in the case of the men), for opposing religious views (in the case of new to the team Grace Van Pelt played by Amanda Righetti) or as a foil for Jane (Teresa Lisbon, head of the unit, played by Robin Tunney).
My chief complaint on watching the premiere was that the concept didn't seem terribly original. Police procedurals are, of course, a dime a dozen, but keen observational skills and uncanny intuition have been used before – played for laughs on Psych, for example, or seriously in the case of the leads of Millenium and Profiler.
The unique element here is Jane's past as a fake psychic and I think that's the element that needs to be played up here. Jane was a crook – a liar, someone who played on people's grief for fame and fortune. And that was the cause of his downfall.
He also seems a bit cracked. This manifests as a bit of a sick sense of humor and a kind of non-empathy with people, not caring, for example, that a woman shoots her husband right in front of him (although, to be fair, the husband was a child molester and a murderer).
While the show did a good job of introducing us to the characters and situations, the mystery aspect of the show wasn't terribly interesting. The killer was fairly obvious and the method of figuring it out seemed simple. I hope that this was just because they were focusing on introducing the characters and the show and future cases will be more satisfying.
Additionally, it's clear that this is Baker's show. He dominates the screen and the screen time and the other characters are barely touched upon. This is something else that I hope is rectified as Tunney seems woefully underused and Baker is in desperate need of a foil that does more than just act cranky towards him.
The Mentalist turned in impressive numbers for its premiere, though it remains to be seen how it will fare in future weeks. I'm willing to give it another few episodes, and hopefully it will find its legs.
The Mentalist pilot will be aired again on CBS on Friday, September 26 at 8 PM EST.
A question for anyone who is reading this right now – when you try out a new television series, in the world of DVRs and digitial downloads, how many episodes do you give yourself to “click” with it? How many episodes does it take for you to decide if you will stick with it or not? I'm interested in hearing your responses on our message board.
Posted by Rajan at 01:11 PM
Posted by Rajan at 12:47 PM
by Rajan Khanna
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles premiered last year on Fox when there wasn't much else on television that was new. Having its origin in the Terminator movies, I decided to give it a shot. What I discovered was much better than I expected from the concept, though not necessarily what I wanted.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles picks up where Terminator 2 left off (wisely, in my opinion, ignoring the third movie installment). Once again Terminators are sent back to kill John Connor, once again a co-opted Terminator model is sent back to save him. Only this time the savior Terminator has the appearance of a young girl. What follows is a series of adventures with John and his mother, Sarah, trying to escape the Terminators while preventing Skynet (the supercomputer that will rule the world) from being built, all the while trying to teach Cameron, the teenage girl Terminator, how to be more human.
If that seems like a lot to pack into a series, in practice it really never seemed to be so. Most of the episodes involved them trying to track down a piece of technology that could lead to Skynet, and trying to neutralize it, all the while dodging Terminator models pursuing them.
The Terminator models, by the way, were like the original Arnold models – human skin over a cyborg exoskeleton. There were no T-1000 models to be found. And while that may seem disappointing to some, I actually appreciated it. The T-1000 from Terminator 2 was cool as all hell when I was in high school, but it strikes me as a hard concept to sustain in a television series. Plus I like the old-school visceral feel to the older model Terminators – the metal gleaming through torn skin effect. It just works better for me.
While the series was decent, it never really pushed past good into great. The “mission of the week” plotlines became a bit monotonous and the relationships between the characters, particularly John and his mother, became stale. The most interesting moments, in my opinion, were those where we had a glimpse into the future world and how that interacted with the past. Zooming out, as it were, to get a sense of the bigger picture. That engaged me. It even benefitted, strangely enough, from the addition to the cast of Brian Austin Green, playing the brother of Kyle Reese (the freedom fighter from the future in the first Terminator movie).
Two weeks ago, the second season of the Sarah Connor Chronicles premiered on Fox, picking up after a Season One Finale cliffhanger. And it was a strong episode. For my money clearly the best episode of the series so far. Yes, there were a few logical dips in the episode, but they managed to create a threat that transcended the usual Terminator threats and also touched on a thread that will no doubt carry through the season and perhaps the series as well – the redefinition of the relationship between John and Sarah. We've been told time and again how John is going to be instrumental to the human race, how he alone can lead them against the machines. We've finally started to get a sense of this, a glimpse of the leader that he will be, a whiff of the iron core that is developing inside of him. That, for me, was a gratifying moment.
And while I will do my best to avoid spoilers in this article, we also see a Terminator model that's new to the series. It adds another dimension and element to the show.
Since the premiere, the second episode of the season has aired, and I have to say that after the quality of the opener, it was a disappointment. There were some redeeming elements to be sure, a few new elements introduced into the show that will no doubt come to bear later on (a girlfriend for John, a new subplot for Sarah), but once again the show devolved into a “mission of the week” story and this one just lacked anything interesting at all. Even during the climax of the show, when our heroes are in the middle of danger, I had no stake in what was happening, there was no tension despite all the flashing lights and klaxons.
So far it's difficult to tell where this season of the Sarah Connor Chronicles is going to go. After a strong start, it has fallen back to the levels of its previous mediocrity. Part of that, though is the fault of the concept itself. In the original movie, the concept makes sense of a sort. A killing machine is sent back in time to kill the mother of their biggest enemy. That enemy (John Connor) sends back a human to try to save her. In T2, the formula is repeated, only the threat escalated. The killing machine is more advanced. So the future Connor sends back a repurposed old-school terminator to help save himself.
You could make the case that in the first two movies, the time travel was something that wasn't easy to do. Otherwise, why not send a cadre of terminators back in time, at various points in Connor's history, to attempt to kill him? If you're Connor, why not send an army back to protect him and his mother. Or stop Skynet or whatever. These possibilities are played with in the television show, but not satisfactorily. Since the beginning of the series, time travel has been used many times. We've seen a slew of terminators, and at least a handful of resistance fighters. What they've failed to do, though, is provide an explanation. If time travel is so easy to do and can be done at the drop of a hat, why not send someone back to kill Sarah's parents? Why not send someone back to the time of either movie to double up the attempts. And how is it that one man, alone, makes that much of a difference.
I realize this is a television show and we must accept certain things, but all of this could be easily explained with just a few simple lines – time travel is dangerous, mess with too much and the machines could easily prevent their own future. Time travel is expensive for both sides – therefore carefully calculated jumps must be made. Make it into a time-spanning chess game, and then I can buy into it. Right now it seems too haphazard. Too easily used for plot devices – like transporter accidents in Star Trek.
At its heart, Sarah Connor Chronicles takes the ideas introduced in the Terminator movies and plays with them, giving us a better look at the lives of the mother and son team on the run. What it hasn't done yet, in my opinion, is to give us a better idea of why these two are important and what the greater picture is.
UPDATE: After viewing the third episode of the season, it appears that there is some promise yet in the show. What excelled in this last episode was that they made the villain more than just another machine this time. Additionally, they raised the stakes. Emotional stakes. In this episode there were consequences to the actions the characters took. And most of all, my favorite part, was that they showed us a glimpse of what differs between John and his mother. His mother is hard and tough and strong and capable, but she has sacrificed her emotions and her empathy and her ability to relate to other people, for her son. But John has this, and indeed needs this if he is to become the leader that he is supposed to be. If they stick to this track, I think that this season could be where the show becomes great.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Season One is available on DVD and the second season is available on iTunes and Amazon.com if you need to catch up.
Posted by Rajan at 01:20 PM
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Posted by EdContradictory at 12:00 PM
A Small Case of Blackmail
Found within a number of files that were slated to be shredded, a reader had produced a peculiar letter threatening the T----- Corporation with blackmail. The T----- Corporation has graciously allowed us to reprint this letter under the condition that the location of the T----- store wherein these threats were made be excised from the text. Furthermore the T----- Corporation stresses that the threats made by the individual were never actually carried out, and that all T----- storefronts are safe from this individual's particular type of blackmail.
To T----- CEO Jim Ulrich:
My apologies for writing you directly sir, but sometimes you need to go straight to the top. I was unable to ascertain who the head of public relations for the corporation was, so I instead chose to write you directly. As an aside, the Corporation's website is both colorful and informative, yet lacks any direct links for whom to contact in any cases of blackmail.
Please do not be alarmed. There is no need to panic, as this is simply a small case of blackmail. There is no need to alert the authorities or the FBI or Homeland Security. They would probably laugh at you. If anything, I'm willing to bet that you could handle this yourself with nothing but a ballpoint pen and your T----- checkbook. Allow me to explain.
I am an employee of yours in the at the T----- store in
And I must warn you sir, I have become a disgruntled employee. And if I am not paid a few thousand of dollars (between $2,000 and 11,000) by the end of this week, I will unleash a devastating attack upon the T----- Corporation that will ruin your sales, stock value, and the chain's reputation entirely.
I was gruntled, once. I was grateful for the wages and the minimal insurance, and the frequent opportunities to give myself a hearty discount of five fingers. But as time went on (and with the addition of my new, more attentive manager Eli) I could feel my opportunities diminishing within T-----, and so I chose to better my situation with this audacious plan. I'm sure that in a few years you will be able to appreciate the deviousness of it all.
It is very simple. If I am not paid the monies that I am demanding (a few thousand dollars, between $3,000 and 11,000) then I will reveal to the media how I have tampered with hundreds of store items that have been sold from this very T----- store in <DELETED> and distributed all across the great state of <DELETED>. This threat will likely shatter consumer confidence in T-----, as well as send your stock prices plummeting to the bottom of the DOW Jones Market. The cost of recalls will skyrocket, and T----- Corporation will lose millions of dollars. On your watch. Millions more than the few thousand that I am asking for, I might add. You should keep that in mind.
Now, do not call the FDA. They would also laugh at you. The method of tampering I have engaged in is not of any of the generic foods or generic medicines sold in so many T----- stores. When I was a child I was once given a Twix bar with a razor blade in it, and I remain scarred from the experience. But not literally. No, my unique method of tampering is much less dangerous, yet remains as much of a threat to T----- as any other. What I have done is in my capacity in the receiving department I have secretly reopened a great many items as sold in T-----: cookware, furniture, audiovisual, luggage- and then resealed them after doing what I feel is an effective method of sabotage:
I have rubbed my testicles on hundreds of items in T-----.
Please, take a moment to open the shrink-wrapped cutting board I have included with this letter. Smell the lower center of the board. Can you smell a fetidness beyond the smell of the plastic? That is me, or more specifically: that is what my balls smell like. Would you want to slice red peppers on that? Or shiitake mushrooms? Perhaps you would like to cut some wedges of sharp cheddar cheese...atop my balls. Would you like the flavor of that? Would ANYBODY? I think not.
For the small price of a few thousand (between $3,000 and 12,000) dollars, I will provide you with a list of the many things that I have touched my testicles to. Well, in some cases I was pressed for time or Eli was looking over my shoulder so I had to transfer the testicle-ness to the object with my hand, but the threat remains the same!
Tell you what, find a copy of ISBN 978-0615165462. Page forty-two. Does that smell familiar? Perhaps there is an electric kettle waiting to be sold, or already been sold that has known my devious touch. Do you know the definition of the slang experession 'teabagging?' Look it up, and think about that. Would you ever drink Darjeeling again?
Or imagine a sweet little grandmother lovingly, carefully packing her bulky white granny panties into the wheeled suitcase that I had oh so carefully dragged my nutsack across the interior of. Is that the type of customer satisfaction that you look to give your customers? Do you truly want your definition of customer satisfaction to involve my balls?
I had tampered with a great many DVD's as well. Somewhere out there is a college kid who will purchase a five dollar copy of the special edition of T2: Judgment Day from the checkout lane, excitedly proclaiming "Can we get this mom? This movie's the BALLS!" After the story breaks, will he then cry ironic tears?
Mr Ulrich, you can stop this with a simple wave of your pen. Or swipe of your ATM card, as I now realize I would prefer cash. I only ask for a few thousand ($4,000 to 12,000) dollars and I will then provide you with a list of the products and their ISBN numbers so that you can sweep the whole thing under the rug. You can explain to the other CEO's as to how "Hey, it's just a few grand! I just saved us millions! We spend more than that on hookers and blow!" Or so I presume you do.
Please leave these few thousand ($4,000 to 13,000) dollars in cash. Hundreds, twenties, fifties, whatever you like. I've left an empty box for an Xbox 360 (don't ask, the answer will only upset you more) in the employee break room for you to fill. If you do not have this done by the end of this week, then the TV news is going to have a big new story to break on the 10 o'clock news leading off with this terrible sentence: "Tonight on the 10 o'clock news- why you may need to wash your new bicycle seat with bleach- saboteur places sweaty ballsack on hundreds of T----- items!"
And none of us want that.
Sincerely: anonymous.
P.S.- please allow this letter to also serve as my two week notice.
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Posted by Goody at 10:01 AM
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Posted by EdContradictory at 12:00 PM
A tricks of Turning Pro Expose by
By Gary Walters
So DC has had to recall copies of their trashy All Star Batman and Robin due to their black-colored censor bars not actually covering up the curse words Frank Miller littered around his script. Some even uttered by minors!
Now, in my professional comic work (see the upcoming "Even Steven" and the future-planned "Monster Works" and the just thought of as I was typing this "Patriot Robot.") I would never reduce myself to cursing. It lowers the intelligence of me and my audience. I get that Frank Miller likes it. A lot. I mean, he loves it sooooooooo much. But it's not for me. What I want to address in this column by way of Miller's vulgarity is a greater vulgarity hidden in plain sight in comics. The nudity.
Like Miller and his inability to cover up his cursing with black boxes, comic creators have been using swatches of color to cover up their nudie perv fantasies for decades.
Take this cover of New Avengers number 14 by Frank Cho.
Looks like a regular superheroine in a tight fitting costume, right? But remove the colors from the art and you get this:
A naked woman. Covered in oil, I think. Baby oil. Meant to tittilate and excite!
Most costumes work that way! Take away the colors and everyone looks naked! All the time! Even the dudes! And their all rolling all over and grabbing each other!
If you're color-blind, comics must look like a big 24-hour sex orgy.
And if you're reading a Frank Miller comic, there's also the cursing! Naked superhero sex cursing! Sold to children! Outrageous! Don't let the big comic media elites get away with their four colored corruption of America! Stand up for yourselfes and morals! Take back the comic book spinner rack! For the children! USA! USA! USA!
Gary last blogged for YMB back in April...
Posted by Gary Walters at 12:00 PM
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Posted by EdContradictory at 12:00 PM
