Hulk Hogan, California: "If I had to step out to say who I really believe in, who catches my ear and makes sense and really can make a change, I'd say Obama. Everybody plays this card - the bad guy card, the dirty politics, they talk about how people dress, act and look. And Obama's the choice. He seems like the real deal. He's the only choice."

Croc Master, Georgia/Cobra Command: I work with a lot of dangerous, leathery reptiles that need many pounds of flesh and gallons of blood to survive. But once fed, my animals will sleep for days and days and then sink to the bottom of the swamp and lay dormant, doing nothing. This is why I'm crossing party lines and voting for Ron Paul.

El Diablo, New Mexico: Richardson's out? Dammit...fine, Hillary I guess. I don't care.

Assistant Principal Richard "Dick" Vernon, Illinois: We need a man who's not afraid to break a couple arms or legs or heads to get the job done. And that man is John McCain. You mess with the bull, HE IS THE HORNS. And don't you forget it, buster.

Bender Bending Rodríguez, The Future: "I wanna candidate as cruel, heartless and methodical as we robots can be! I'm casting my vote (as well as a couple other votes that fell off the back of a truck) for Hillary Rodham Clinton! Ain't nobody gonna kill all the humans in your lifetime, history speaks for that. But I bet she'll oppress you filthy meatbags but good!"

Ymir, Alaska: "I believe that Barack Obama is the man to lead this country out of the doldrums of the past eight years. He has a good, positive vision for the future. A vision of hope. As far as puny mortals go, he is the least puny of all. It's men like him who inspire Frost Giants like me to raise our clubs of purest Arctic ice high and wave them in support of democracy, and the many possibilities and opportunities that it brings to all, be they puny mortals, foolish godlings, or naturalized American citizen-Frost Giants like myself and my new daughter Hannah Montana Ymir.

Dr. Doom, Latveria: In my own unsurpassed brilliance, I believe that the next Rep- what do you mean that I, DOOM cannot vote? It matters not that I am not a legal resident of the United States! Am I not DOOM?! Is my wisdom in things scientific, mystical, AND politic not enough to overcome the rules of your puny Constitution?! BAH!