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by Gary Walters
So, It's been a while. So what has been up with erstewhale comic writer Gary Walters, low these many months? Me, that is? Well, I've been having to deal with legeal issues with some of my fourthcoming comic properties. Those have been resolved, though, so the New Year is looking brighter than ever bright.
But this column is not about my recent travales. It's about the most awewsome stuff of the last year. And the least awesome.
But the awesome first.
So much to talk about, this has been the most awesome year ever in the history of comicdom, with so much awesomeness going on that it's almost overwhelmed by it.
So, here is the Official Gary Walters Top five of 2007.
5. Captain America gets killed.
Finally. Captain Jerk-wad, more like it. About time they killed him. He deserved it for going against the will of the American people and starting a senseless Civil War. Besides, everyone else has gotten to die in a Marvel book before. It's about time America's premier superhero did, to. I know he died once before. But this one mattered more because it was political. I just wish Iron Man had killed him. I bet Tony wanted to. I know I did.
4. Transformers.
I was right. It was awesome. You were wrong. I know a lot of people were complaining about the look of the robots and the fact that John Tuturro got peed on. But he deserved to be peed on. And the robots were awesome. Jazz was hilarious. All talking trash and sitting on things. And Megan Fox? See? I was right.
3. Heroes.
Sylar is so cool. What a great character. He'll make a great Spock. But watch out, Kirk, he'll steal youre powers! And I know everyone was bagging on the new characters, but they were cool, too. And Adam being Kensei and releasing a virus? Cool. Peter going into the future again and seeing what was going to happen and leaving his girlfriend there? Cool. Heroes takes common troupes and stories done in comic books like Watchmen and X-Men and makes them better and cooller.
2. Countdown.
Mary Marvel is hott. Nuff said!
1. One More Day.
Finally... Marvel got rid of the Spider-Marriage. When you get down to it, the reason Spider-Man has sucked for years isn't the convoluted storylines involving spider-totem gods (those were awesome!) and it wasn't that writers tried to add a lame supporting cast (Gwen Stacie's cousin was super-hot!), it was that Spider-Man was married. Peter's supposed to be a sad sack loser. How can he be that when he's married to a super-hot super-model super-babe? They fixed this years ago when (The Master) John Byrne blew up Mary Jane in an explosion and made Peter a widower. But then they screwed it up again and brought her back. But, now Peter can finally be a loser again. Yay!
And now the Bottom Best Five of 2007.
5. Venture Bros.
Everyone was going on about how great this was so I watched it. I don't get it. Now Family Guy, that I get. Venture Bros. seems to try to use stock characters from comics but wants to mock them and not show them the respect they deserve. That is the definition of "uncool playa hatin'."
4. The War in Iraq.
Am I right people? Come on.
3. The Writers Strike.
I didn't even know people wrote half of that stuff. I think Jon Stewart just wanted a month off. He could've come on and just been funny if he'd wanted to. A lot of these famous people are just lazy. Like they couldn't just keep doing Saturday Night Live without the writers. Those guys could just stand there for an hour and a half and be funny. They should do that.
2. All Star Superman.
Still don't get it. Not compared to the vast superior All Star Batman. "I'm the Gosh Darn Batman!" Superman's just being all emo. ... An issue of this did come out this poast year, right?
1. Drew Carey on the Price is Right.
No one can replace Bob Barker. No one. Well, a Skrull maybe could. If they studied him really well and used their mind powers. I guess in the 616 Marvel Universe, maybe a Skrull took over Bob Barker and he's still hosting the Price is Right. Because once you have a position of power like that, you don't give it up to some chump comedian from Cleveland. Secret Invasion is gonna rock!
Read last year's The Tricks of Turning Pro: Best/Worst of 2006!
Read the last Tricks of Turning Pro about cyber-bullying.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
the first one -- the previous one -- the next one -- the most recent one
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
the first one -- the previous one -- the next one -- the most recent one
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
the first one -- the previous one -- the next one -- the most recent one
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
the first one -- the previous one -- the next one -- the most recent one
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
