by the YMB staff
The 1990s ended 2674 days ago. And people want to know: "Hey, you guys who control such things as those that we are upset about, where are all the compilations of awesome 90s alternative music?"
By this time in the 1997 there were, literally, 4,125 compilations of 80s music available for purchase. 2,749 of those were for New Wave acts alone. Yet, here we are nearly 8 years into the aughts and there are maybe 7 compilations of 90s alternative music to buy.
Why is that? Surely, there must be a reason, right? Was Gary Numan's "Cars" really a better song than Dishwalla's "Counting Blue Cars"? Or perhaps does the earnestness of 90s alternative music not allow for the repeated kitsch listenings inherent in your standard 80s New Wave compilation of such songs as "Sex Dwarf"? Or... and this is the theory YMB is going with... was so much of 90s alternative so overplayed that 8 years out people still aren't quite ready to hear it again?
With that in mind, YMB presents for your listening "pleasure" the Top Twenty Overplayed 90s Alternative Songs:
1. "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
The first time you heard it: OH MY GOD he said f--k in a song! They only bleeped the "U" and the "C"! YOU CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID!
The tenth time you heard it: There's better stuff on Downward Spiral, why aren't they playing that?
The 834th time you heard it: Yeaaaah... um... I'm just going to put on the Johnny Cash cover of "Hurt"... thanks though.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: the year 3011.
2. "Man Who Sold The World" by Nirvana
It's a great cover of a great song. But, if I then go to a David Bowie concert and the kids in front of me get excited because they think David Bowie is covering a Nirvana song? Yeah, overplayed.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2074.
3. "Laid" by James
The best song about obsessive, dysfunctional relationships ever to be overplayed. In fact, it was so overplayed that, in 1993, Bill Clinton specifically singled out the song in his first speech as President, begging radio stations to stop playing it. (Despite the fact that many pundits claimed that the song distracted the public from Clinton's alleged affair with Gennifer Flowers, thus helping him win the Presidency in the first place.)
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2072.
4. "Unbelievable" by EMF
It's unbelievable that this song still makes me want to cry in the corner every time it is played. "Unbelievable" is an instant time machine to faux-70's/Nu-New Wave fashion/music and hypercolor t-shirts. Yes, it was a time for hope, yes, it was a time for recycling, but that was because we had just gotten off the Reagan coke binge of the 1980's and everything was weird and askew. And now it's been sold to a cheese commercial. Crumb-believable? I'll be in the corner.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2071.
5. "Mrs. Robinson" by The Lemonheads
I feel bad for bands that get famous off of covers. Particularly when they have a great catalog of non-covers that are then forgotten (this is why I don't, for instance, feel bad for the craptacular UB40). "Into Your Arms", "Confetti", or "If I Could Talk I'd Tell You" all deserved to be the overplayed Lemonheads song. Unfortunately, most people will remember them because they covered a Simon and Garfunkel song. You deserved better, Mr. Dando.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2067, when they rerelease The Graduate for its 100th anniversary.
6. "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba
Which is more annoying - the song, or their pop anarchist bullsh*t? Gotta go with the nonsense political posturing that tried to infuse more meaning than is reasonable into such lyrics as "He drinks a whisky drink. He drinks a vodka drink."
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2066.
7. "No Rain" by Blind Melon
This song was overplayed not on the merits off the song, but because of the girl in the bee costume in the music video. Who, of course, you can't SEE when the local alternative rock station is playing the song for the 35th time in one day... but radio stations overplaying a song to the point you want to throttle the next person you see walking around in a bee costume is nothing new, unfortunately.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2055.
8. "Mr Jones" by Counting Crows
When you get into the lyrics, this catchy tune is actually rather pathetic and kind of sad. That sadness is then multiplied and amplified to a roaring din by a lead singer wearing fake white-guy dreadlocks.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2047.
9. "There She Goes" by The Las.
"There she goes, there she goes again. She calls my name, pulls my train No-one else could heal my pain. And I just can't contain This feelin' that remains. There she goes. There she goes again. Chasing down my lane. And I just can't contain This feelin' that remains." HA! Try getting that out of your head now. YOU CAN'T! Sucker.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2037.
10. "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.
Michael Stipe, you are lucky, damn lucky, that Automatic for the People was so brilliant. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2034 (but only in a 30-second laundry detergent commercial).
11. "Lightning Crashes" by Live
Hi, my name is Ed Kowalczyk. I have a bald head and a long, stupid braided ponytail. I steal 12 year old girls' diaries and copy them for my song lyrics.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2028.
12. "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam
I think by now we all know that Jeremy spoke in class today. I think he might have even bit someone, too. Apparently, he was not a harmless litte f--k. Who knew?
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2027.
13. "Possum Kingdom" by The Toadies
Jesus, what the hell is this song about? An assault? A murder? Probably the most f-ed up overplayed song of the 90s. Very high creep factor, here.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2021.
14. "Santeria" by Sublime
Yeah, I don't like Sublime. They suck.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2019.
15. "Longview," by Green Day
Yeah, it's the one about jerking off and being lazy. A Gen X anthem, if you will. Ah, "Gen X". That was even more overplayed than this song. And this song was pretty damn overplayed.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: June 21, 2017 at 3:23 in the afternoon.
16. "Give It Away" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Me and my friends used to argue about this song. "It's about dealing drugs!" "It's about getting laid!" "Then why does he talk about being a kingpin?" "It's a metaphor, dumbass!" "You're the dumbass!" "You are!" Then, months later, consensus: "I hope I never hear that song again." "Me too."
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2015.
17. "Good" by Better than Ezra
What's Better than Ezra? Well, the Gin Blossoms. And Dada. And the Meat Puppets. And Too Much Joy. And School of Fish. And the Afghan Whigs. And the Judybats. And Cracker. And Possum Dixon. And Dinosaur Jr. And Dramarama. And Gigilo Aunts. And Buffalo Tom. And Material Issue. And Everclear.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2014.
18. "Friday I'm in Love" by The Cure
Nothing makes Cure fans happier than a happy Robert Smith. Wait... that's not true at all. In fact, this song damn near brought about a violent riot from black-clad goth vampire LARPers the world over. If only they were better organized! But this happy tune rocketed into mainstream success for the Cure. Or, just Cure. There was a weird bit of time there when Smith dropped the "the" from the band name. It didn't make much sense.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2011.
19. "Spoonman" by Soundgarden
Dear Lord... dude playing spoons in a grunge song. I think that qualifies as unintentional camp, right? Probably John Waters' favorite song from the flannel days of rock.
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2009.
20. "Loser" by Beck
Just because it's a good song, that doesn't mean it can't be overplayed. Beck's first big hit was an absurdist piece of dada pop perfection but, damn, was it overplayed by the end there. Luckily, Beck saved us from himself by releasing Odelay and giving the radio stations new songs to overplay. Thanks, Beck!
When we'd be ready to hear it again: 2008.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at September 5, 2007 12:00 PM