10. Comic books are purposefully made to degrade over time. Due to factors like sun, heat, water, and cheeto-stains.

9. Letters in letter columns are all made up.

8. Actual superhero battles: mostly concluded by choke holds.

7. "Stan Lee" is a psuedonym shared by moonlighting DC writers such as Joe Gill and Robert Kanigher; the man we know as Stan Lee is just a beatnik hired for public appearences.

6. Superman? Not that great an idea.

5. Joe Quesada knows that every single person that reads comics actually does post on the internet.

4. The name "comic books" is a misnomer: they are never funny.

3. Four color comics? Black and white aren't really "colors."

2. Outcome of superhero battles fixed in advance by editors.

1. Comic books? Actually for small children.