by The Comics Outsider

Rumor-monger is such a disparaging term... I prefer rumor-whorebeast.

LIES HURT NO ONE EXCEPT THE PERSON TELLING THEM

Absolutely true, take it to the bank.

Maybe true, take it to your credit union.

Possibly not true, hide it under your mattress.

MORE FF SPINOFFS?!

Face front, true believers! The movie franchise is about to split off yet another pseudopod of profitability! Creator Stan Lee has joined forces with Marvel Entertainment for yet another spin-off (to match the rumored Silver Surfer spinoff) for the big picture! Details are slim, but Lee alluded to "trying to synergize the FF with the most recent winners of the Stanley Cup, the Anaheim Mighty Ducks." What could this mean? The Outsider has the scoop:

Hockey and comic books? How can they lose?!

WHAT'S NEXT FOR DYNAMITE?

Aside from their recent score with picking up Ennis/Robertson's The Boys and their already lucrative licensed properties, what else can we expect to see from hot new-ish publisher Dynamite? Details are scarce, but believe it or not, they'll be walking on air. They never thought they could be so free-hee-hee-hee.

Amazingly, original series star Robert Culp has been tapped to paint one of the variant covers.

TAKE THE INITIATIVE...PLEASE!

We've turned up another failed Avengers: the Initiative pitch, and for the life of us we can't imagine why they passed on it:

The Initiative: Incorporate in Nevada

The white collar Initiative title looks at the dirty dealings of the corporations of the Marvel Universe, going after computer crime, making sure that pensioners get their money, and seeing that the corrupt CEOs of Roxxon never take advantage of the little people of the MU.

The series will star a newly revived Douglock. The series focuses on the corporate espionage that Douglock must partake in on a daily basis, which includes looking at internet porn, thumbing through automotive magazines, and talking about last night's Adult Swim.

Bendis set to helm the project and art by Travel Foreman.

ARTISTSWIPING I

Flash

and

Horny All-Star Sluts #17

BEYOND THE BEYONDER

Just as Marvel decided there were too many mutants, they've also decided that there are too many cosmically powered characters in their lexicon.

"Depowering the Beyonder was just the beginning", a source in Marvel reports. "Next up is Galactus. Turns out he's just a member of AIM that underwent genetic modification. And Eternity? He's just a moloid that ate some bad fruit."

IT MUST BE SAID AND IF I DON'T SAY IT, WHO WILL THEN SAY WHAT I'M SAYING?

Just as my colleagues have taken exception at recent Marvel covers crossing a line of decency, so to must The Outsider take a stand when he sees something this blatant and wrong...

Scroll down for the image after my letter to Joe Quesada, because this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Dear Joe Quesada,

Obviously you don't give a micron about men buying your comics, but are you trying to spoil them for everyone? Marvel's raised the bar on gross so high small planes will be flying under it. The MJ statue, the Heroes for Hire cover, and now Marvel gives us MarveRotskudoji, or even "Mighty Marvel Hentai Doujinshi," but you call it "Amazing Spider-Man #544."

As my girlfriend, who's annoyingly immune to a lot of this (we had a fight over the crotch shots in Hulk), said, "Next time, they're going to need tie Peter Parker up in a sexually provocative pose." She also said, "Are you trying to follow a demographic into hell?"

Seriously, Joe, Marvel got a lot of "ha-ha fanboys are stoopid the Heroes for Hire issue is already sold out" coverage from the mainstream and tabloid press. But this week, Joe? Not to put too fine a point on it, you went too far.

Thanks for reminding me again of one of the reasons why I'm happy not to work in the "mainstream" (or is it "WOMANstream?") of comics.

Sincerely,
The Comics Outsider

P.S. Thanks for using an American artist on the cover, because American comics really had gone too long without someone putting Peter Parker in a naughty S&M pose. It's been at least since Byrne was last on the title.

And don't even get me started on this one:

MOOVING ALONG...

So the question on nobody's lips is, who are the Skrulls? Ever since New Avengers #31, no one has been asking the burning question of who, from the existing Marvel Universe, are Skrulls?

Well, the Outsider has the scoop as usual and this one really will make me seem like the cat who has the cream.

Its so obvious as well, and its plain to see that Marvel have been working on this for a long time, laying the clues and prepping for the big reveal.

But how did the Skrulls infiltrate some of the MU's favorite superpeople? Well, it wasn't a case of replacing them ... more of impregnating them, something it is all too obvious given the last page of New Avengers #31.

So, what is it then? How do we know that some of Marvel's great and good are Skrulls?

Well, remember how the Skrulls were all turned into cows?

Oh noes!

Oops.

We're screwed!

RIDIN' WILDFIRE

The next big Wildstorm Event: WILDFIRE. Written by Grant Morrison with art by Travis Charest, Joe Madueira and J Scott Campbell, next winter a WILDFIRE is coming!

Get ready for the Wildstorm Universe's first big weekly event!

Can you stand the...WILDFIRE?!

ARTISTSWIPING II

OMAC

and

The Tick

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