There are many things that contribute to making someone a douchebag. An overinflated sense of self-worth. A worthlessness despite pedigree. And an inneffectiveness that, when all is said and done, borders on the pathetic.

But douchebags aren't jerks. Jerks are generally more effective and/or aggressive than douches. Johnny Lawrence was a jerk. Biff Tannen was a jerk. Anakin Skywalker was a jerk. These guys below? Douches.

Fred O'Bannion, potrayed by Ben Affleck in Dazed and Confused

Ah, young Ben Affleck before we knew who he was. And even then did we hate him. But not for the usual "overexposed famous guy of middling talent" reasons, but because the character he plays in this film is a tremendous douchebag. A super-senior, O'Bannion takes way too much delight in the paddling that was the apparent birthright of any senior in high school in 1970's Texas. If you've not seen the film, let us put it this way: he might be the poster child for anti-hazing laws. Just shy of homoerotic, and pretty far from being playful, the guy is just nasty.

There are some other reasons to hate him- he's a bad winner at pool, his muscle car is painted an ugly gray, he has 70's hair- but all of the paddling he gets into is plenty. The sheer joy he expresses as he's spanking the freshmen... well, we wonder what freaky things O'Bannion might have gotten into later in life. The icing on the douchebag cake is that when he gets his comeuppance (they dump paint on him) he has a total hissy fit, storms off and is never seen from again. And that's it. Not much of a villain, there eh? More of a douchebag.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, potrayed by Ewan McGregor and Sir Alec Guinness in the Star Wars films

"Luke, I know that the only family you've ever known has just been killed by stormtroopers, but this girl asking for my help? She's your sister. You're not alone in the universe. Come with me and we can help her."

But Obi-Wan never said that, did he? Instead he just lies to Luke. Like, a lot. Then equivocates like a douche when called on it. "Certain point of view", my ass. In fact, when you get down to it... it's really his fault Luke and Leia kiss in Empire.

But, even before that, he was pretty lame. He has to go to the alien equivalent of Vic Tayback for clues because he can't figure something out. He can't handle one bounty hunter on his own. He can't tell his Padawan is secretly married, in violation of the Jedi code. And, after lopping the limbs off The Chosen One, he leaves Anakin alive and smoldering to become the most evil bastard in the universe (next to the Emperor). He really was a pretty lousy Jedi.

And, let's be honest here, magically disappearing is a douche-y way to die.

A controversial choice, to be sure. But, a douchebag, he is.

Ed Rooney, portrayed by Jefferey Jones in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

HE WAS ON THE TV SCREEN WHEN YOU WERE IN THE BAR! RIGHT ON THE TV SCREEN! LOOK UP, DOUCHEBAG!

Man, there's a lot of competition for high school principal douchebag, and, honestly, this almost went to Principal Vernon from The Breakfast Club. But he was really more a jerk than a douche. He did, after all, get Bender into detention for weeks upon weeks.

Rooney, however, has an ineffectiveness about him that lands him squarely in the douche camp. He can't tell a 17 year old in a trenchcoat from an adult. Can't tell a boy from a girl. Misses endless opportunities to catch Ferris. And ultimately breaks into the Bueller's home (by knocking a dog unconcious with a potted plant), gets beaten up by a girl, has to ride the school bus home, and ends up eating a handful of warm gummi bears.

Bill Lumbergh, portrayed by Gary Cole in Office Space

Part of what made Office Space such a great movie, is that there's no clear antagonist in the film. The enemy is the 9 to 5, not any one master villain behind it all. The movie rails again the button down, day in day out lifestyle that so many of us have to endure to put food on the table, and that's a special thing. It's interesting to see a movie that can get you rooting for the hero without giving you a villain to hiss.

It did give us a supreme douchebag, tho. Bill Lumbergh.

Oh, Lumbergh. You're just so terrible. What would you be without passive aggression? What could you be? You ooze it from your every pore. Your suspenders and pink shirt radiate it. You're the worst boss one could ever imagine, and somehow we've all worked for you; or some aspect that is you. And yet you're not someone to really be hated, at least from the outside. We don't have to work for you, we just look at you and grimly smile at the memory of the last boss we had that made us work extra and smiled about it. To us, you're just a harmless douchebag. But if we worked for you, I am certain that we'd pee in your coffee.

Walter Peck, portrayed by William Atherton in Ghostbusters

When else than in the 1980s could one of the villains of a movie be a bureaucrat from the Environmental protection Agency? The EPA! The good guys. The guys who keep our waters clean. And our air fresh!

But no, in Reagan's America, the EPA was evil. The EPA's endless rules and regulations hampered small business owners. Including small business owners who kept dangerous amounts of ectoplasmic entities in the basement of a rundown firehouse.

Enter Walter Peck. The man who gets a court order, shuts down the containment grid, and has the Ghostbusters arrested. Like many small-minded bureaucrats, he can't see the big picture, but luckily those above him can, and he gets kicked out once the mayor realizes that New York needs the Ghostbusters.

And you could tell he didn't really care about the safety of New Yorkers. He just didn't like Peter Venkman. Well, you know what kind of people don't like Peter Venkman? Douches.

Starscream, voiced by Chris Latta in Transformers: the Movie

You can hear it in your head: "Of course, mighty Megatron." That voice. That oddly shrill, whiny, cocky prick tone that can only mean Starscream. You know the dirty bastard, from the comics to the cartoon to the movie. Starscream's a big ol' douchebag. He talks shit, but when it's time to back it up? "Decepticons RETREEEEEEAT!"

And then the movie. Was there anything more satisfying than seeing him finally get capped for all of his treacherous bullshit? But then the show went and screwed it all up and brough him back as a ghost. An indestructible ghost. A shrill, indestructible ghost. Lord, what a douchebag.

Merovingian, portrayed by Lambert Wilson in The Matrix Reloaded

Merovingian: I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d'enculis de ta mire. You see, it's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it.

...it's been about ten years since I last looked at a French textbook, so I have no real idea what he's going on about there. But I am reasonably certain that those are the words of a douchebag. The biggest, most douchey thing he is responsible for? Count the minutes he took up onscreen during Reloaded/Revolutions as valuable movie time entirely wasted.

Prince Humperdinck, portrayed by Chris Sarandon in The Princess Bride

He lost a fight to an invalid because he was too worried about his pretty face.

He was going to kill Buttercup. He did kill Westley. He employed the evil Six-Fingered Man. And he was mean to Miracle Max.

Humperdinck was well on his way to evil jerk-dom.

Except... his plan sucked. Rather than just go to war like a man, he had to come up with a convoluted plan that involves having to murder his own wife and blaming the country he wanted to go to war with. But, hey, guess what Humperdinck?... You're the prince. You're going to be king. If you decide to go to war... everyone has to pretty much go along with it.

And his grand plan? Beaten by "true love". Lame. Douchebag lame.

Caledon Hockley, portrayed by Billy Zane in Titanic

There's not a lot we have to say about this guy. I assume we've all seen Titanic by now, right? So we are all aware of why this prissy douchebag makes the list. Is it framing hunky young Leonardo DiCaprio? Trying to buy the love of young Kate Winslet? Shooting wildly at the pair of them as the boat starts to sink? Trying to pussy out off of the boat by pretending to be a child's father? His general arrogance and self-importance? His 'rich white guy' act?

We don't know, either. Pick a couple. We like to focus our hatred on him in his entirety, as a sort of focal point of our hatred for Titanic in general. But for all of his time on screen, there is not one moment where you can look at him and not seem him acting like a total douchebag.

Carter Burke, portrayed by Paul Reiser in Aliens

There's a reason none of us ever bought Paul Reiser as a romantic lead on Mad About You. And it's because we knew that he'd let a facehugger suck on Helen Hunt if The Company told him to. When you get down to it, Burke is the smarmy, douchebaggy Lumbergh-esque business guy taken to sci fi extremes. So concerned with profit and his future employment, he would, literally, endanger the entire human race to cover his own ass.

So, when things turn to shit and securing an alien to take back becomes unlikely, what does he do? He tries to get a facehugger to implant an alien into either Ripley or an EIGHT YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL.

Preferably both.

Douche.

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