QUOTE(ILuvBrittanyYork) QUOTE(The Real Fresh Prince) Do you guys know what I just heard? There's a publication called "Previews" that retailers get that tell them EVERYTHING that's going to happen in comics three months from now! I tried to talk my comic guy into letting me buy his copy, but he said if he let me, it would "ruin everything". That's totally wacked! He's worse than a Brenda and Kelly bitch-sandwich! I'm going to totally get a copy of it someday! Damn skippy! That would be so dope to read!

QUOTE(ILuvBrittanyYork) QUOTE(John McClane) QUOTE(Urkel 1991) Apparently they're making a new Batman animated series. Looks really cartoony and lame. I know, right? You get an awesome, moody Tim Burton Batman and now they take a step back by making a cartoon? Hellloooo? Superfriends? Lame. I read that Christopher Walken's going to be in the sequel. I heard he plays Ra's Al Ghul. I also heard the sequel will be called Batman's Back Again.

QUOTE(Freddy Krueger's Sweater) Spielberg's next film is an adaptation of the 1990 novel "Jurassic Park". I think after Always and the god-awful Hook, that Spielberg needs to hang it up. He's clearly done as a director. I'm not looking forward to seeing his Jurassic Park, which is a shame because I liked the book. But I guarantee this will be the final nail in his coffin as a director.

QUOTE(X-Treme Cy-ber) Holy Crap! There's going to be a Youngblood spinoff! ...sometime next year! Boy, I can't wait!

QUOTE(Corky's Underpants) Don't write your Congressman! Petition no-one! Yes, we can exclusively reveal that DC's Superman is not really going to die this year or next. Oh no. The real title of this comics non-event is "Deaf of Superman" which has the flagship hero losing his hearing. Expect this storyline to run for two or three years culminating in a crossover with Batman (mute) and Wonder Woman (blind) entitled "Nonsense and Sensibility".

QUOTE(Lore) BIG NEWS FROM PARAMOUNT: The spin-off of Next Generation ISN'T GOING TO HAVE A SHIP AT ALL. It's not set on a future version of the Excelsior. They're going to set it in a space station. :O What? How do you set a series about SPACE EXPLORATION in a space station. The entire point of a space station is that it is STATIONary!

QUOTE(Corky's Underpants) QUOTE(X-Treme Cy-ber) QUOTE(Parker Lewis) QUOTE(Nintendo Power) May 1992: Production begins on a Super Mario feature film, starring Bob Hoskins (Mario) and Dennis Hopper (King Koopa). Surely someone can fake some enthusiasm for this? Production begins for a new Super Mario Bros feature film where Bob Hoskins (Mario) is set into a parallel dimension to unclog Dennis Hopper's(King Koopa) drains. Hey! Dennis Hopper is a respected actor! If he's on this project, it must have a good script. It's not like he'll just act in anything. Hoskin's is pretty respected, too. The script must be pretty strong to get the two of them involved. I'll certainly be checking it out!

QUOTE(Morpheus, King of Dreams and Darkness) IS NEIL GAIMAN GOING INDY?!?! Word on the street is that there's a foundation being laid. A foundation for another new publisher! It won't be ready for maybe a year or so, but when it is: watch out! Neil Gaiman's coming back strong! The only detail we've been able to glean is that it will somehow involve 'techno.' And as we all know, Neil Gaiman is at the forefront of what's 'hot' in comics, so we're willing to bet that EVERYONE will want to buy his all-new, all-different Techno Comics!* Mark our words!

QUOTE(Guybrush Threepwood) Are you sitting down? Three words: New. Valiant. Title. Did you sit down yet? Three more words: Original. Cover. Enhancement. Maybe you'd better lay down. No? Okay, one last word: Edible. I heard that the upcoming new issue of something called Ninjak will have a cover made of Fruit Roll-Up. The ultimate collectible! If you can resist the tempting grape flavor, in fifteen years you could cash in and buy a CAR!

QUOTE(Corky's Underpants) Don't write your Senator! Petition no-one! Yes, we can exclusively reveal that, contrary to our own rumor above, DC's Superman is not really going to go deaf this year or next. Oh no. The real title of this comics non-event is "Dearth of Superman" which has the flagship hero not appearing in any comic books! Oh noes! Expect this storyline to run for two or three weeks and then returning to the good old days with Superman appearing in every comic book for at least 3 years entitled "Glut of Superman". Please note, this is in no way DC's response to Marvel's recent "Glut of Wolverine", which was retitled recently from "Whoring of Wolverine" and "Ramming Wolverine down the comic buying throats until they can't take him any more, my eyes, my eyes: Book One".

QUOTE(Guybrush Threepwood) QUOTE(Corky's Underpants) "Ramming Wolverine down the comic buying throats until they can't take him any more, my eyes, my eyes: Book One". Will that be collected?

QUOTE(Corky's Underpants) QUOTE(Guybrush Threepwood) Will that be collected? You don't have enough shelvespace.

QUOTE(Buddy Cole) There's some show coming on MTV called "The Real World". Apparently its watching a bunch of dudes and chicks living in an apartment. Are they nuts? Whose going to watch that? They're seriously going to stop showing music videos for a half hour to waste our time with someting like that? Just chill out and play the videos, MTV, that's what you're there for.

QUOTE(Urkel 1991) Talk to the hand!

QUOTE(Urkel 1991) QUOTE(T-800) QUOTE(Corky's Underpants) Hey! Dennis Hopper is a respected actor! If he's on this project, it must have a good script. It's not like he'll just act in anything. Hoskin's is pretty respected, too. And it's directed by the team that brought us the original, British Max Headroom. I heard they're making a movie of that. Or that the TV show's coming back. Amanda Pays is HOTT! Speaking of Max Headroom, the guy who played Murray is going to be on some HBO show with Garry Shandling.

QUOTE(Isaac Asimov R.I.P.) QUOTE(Buddy Cole) QUOTE(John McClane) I read the pilot script for a new Fox show next year called the X-Files. It's about FBI agents who work with space aliens. It's gonna star that guy from the Red Shoes Diaries. You watch Red Shoe Diaries? Perv. And Fox sucks! Dude, Married with Children rules it. I heard about X-Files at MagiCon. Sounds like a rip off of Lowell Cunningham's Men in Black comic. There's also a chick in it named Gilligan Anderson playing Agent Sculder. Check out "The Turning" when it comes out on VHS! You can totally see her boobies!

QUOTE(The Real Fresh Prince) QUOTE(Guybrush Threepwood) JAMES CAMERON'S SPIDER-MAN MOVIE HAS "ORGANIC" WEB SHOOTERS! WHAT A PILE OF CRAP! James Cameron made Aliens. And T2 was the shit. Relax. If James Cameron thinks Spiderman should have webshooters in his butt, then Spiderman should have webshooters in his butt.

QUOTE(Kurt Cobain 4-ever) Webswinging's gonna look real weird.

QUOTE(Isaac Asimov R.I.P.) John Byrne is leaving Namor, you heard it here first!

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