Feeble Attempts
Jeffrey Brown
Top Shelf, five dollars AMERICAN!

My drug dealer gave me my first Jeffrey Brown comic. Actually, being a good drug dealer, he sold it to me, promising that if I didn't like it he'd give me back my money. Being a good junkie, I purchased what in my mind looked to be nothing more than a crudely drawn comic.

Before I go any further, I should mention that by "drug dealer", I mean the guy who sells me my comics. They, the comic shop owners, function just like a dealer, getting me to "sample" new things so I'd be forced to purchase more and more shit. I don't do drugs nor condone their use, but there are a few people out there that do need a joint to calm the heck down. Marijuana can be a gateway drug, but some people just smoke joints. That's it. Never touch crack, meth or any of that other goofy shit, they just smoke pot. X-Men comics are the same way. I'm a good junkie and I love to sample around. My dealer gets me all the good exotic stuff.

So, back to the review (a late review might I add), of Jeffrey Brown's Feeble Attempts. Anyone who has picked up a Jeffrey Brown comic knows that the autobiographic items are always drawn slightly sketchy. It's a huge contrast to the complexities of what is happening in the stories: Modern (born after 1970 and before 1983) American Guy Stories of breaking up and just strange relationships in general. The fear you end up feeling about all the strange shit that goes on in your head, that no matter how unique you think it is, there are 4,329 people as we speak, going through the exact same thing. The stories that Brown writes are a nice contrast for art the he brings to the table.

These really aren't those stories. Not really, ok maybe two, or three if you want to stretch it. But these aren't like Brown's other stories that Top Shelf has published, or AdHouse for that matter. Feeble Attempts is a different animal from the same genus than Brown's other works.

These stories at times are a bit rougher in terms of Brown's artwork than what I'm use to seeing. All of these stories are collected from a various amount of sources that had picked up the stories to run their various publications. These happen to be Brown's favorite.

I can see why. They are nonsensical in some places and completely, slightly, pretty damn funny OK, mind altering in other. Stories about religion, super-heroes™, love (2, 3 tops, I swear), shit jobs and the fucked up things you do by accident as a child.

Yeah those things. WithaBBgunnonetheless!

Jeffrey Brown's Feeble Attempts are best done in a "pick up, read story, and then put down again" fashion. All the stories are fairly disconnected from each other and some are different beats from another, so putting the book down (letting your memory of the last story fade from short term, getting squished into long term while you do whatever) allows you to enjoy the next story that much more. Doing it all in one sitting is too much. It's too much Brown for anyone to handle, even Artie: the Strongest Man in the World.

I made this mistake, trying to read four stories in one sitting. I couldn't. I switched what I was doing. Drawing for a little. Read another story. Watched a little of a movie. Read another story. Ate some food. Pooped and read another story.

It made the stories seem easier to digest that way. These aren't the long form stories that Brown generally creates. These are short Brown, stories for us to read between getting on and off the bus.

For five dollars, you get enough Brown that (if you weren't doing a review), could almost last a week if you stretched it (keeping it on your person like a manifesto for some strange cult of slackers that will some day, y'know, not today or anything, maybe next year when we have a better idea of what we want to do and stuff, will rise and take over the world). A day if you love the craft: this was the second re-read (spread out over time) one story at a time is a lot better than several stories all at once. 50 minutes if you are doing a review: first re-read of the entire book (I really did everything above in 50 minutes, except for the pooping). 20 minutes if you're completely insane: yeah, this one, doesn't allow you to really take everything in and enjoy the story, instead you get a jumbled mess of stories in your head, take your time with this book enjoy it. It's a small price for a good quantity of quality stories (the best one is on page 17... I only say this because this still happens to me).

I encourage you to get Feeble Attempts. If I owned a shop and was your dealer, I'd even give you a money back guarantee. C'mon, you know you can't resist that, there's nothing to lose. Just try it.