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Read the live blog of the Battlestar Galactica panel.
Discuss this article in our forum.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
Part 1
Part 2
Read the live blog of the Avengers: The Initiative panel.
Discuss this article in our forum.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 PM
28 minutes of computer charge... Let's see how far we get...
Arthur Suydam exclusive to Marvel.
Annihilation: Conquest- Prologue. Abnett, Lanning, Denham, Briclot. June 2007.
Briclot, cover artist, from gaming.
Three minis and four issues of Nova.
Gage and Basaldua on Annihilations: Conquest- Quasar.
Annihilation: Conquest- Starlord. Cover with Rocket Racoon in it. Howling Commandos in space. Groot, Captain Universe, Deathcry, Mantis, Bug from Micronauts, and Rocket Racoon.
Annihilations: Conquest- Wraith. New cosmic character. Been a while since there's been a new one. Space Daredevil/Crow type character. Western element to it.
Minis lead into Annihilation: Conquest, Abnett, Lanning, and Raney.
Enders Game story from Orson Scott Card. Red Prophet hardcover ONLY. The Gold Bug.
Publishing Heroes Intiative charity covers in a book.
Marcos Djurdjevic exclusive and will do interiors.
Mystic Arcana, event to focus on magic in Marvel universe. Do for magic what Annihilation did for cosmic.
Handbooks, the one shots, then a handbook.
Black Knight, Illyana, Scarlet Witch, Sister Grimm from Runaways.
New Avengers/Transformers. Moore and Kirkham. July 2007. Tie in with IDW book.Set on Latveria border...
Halo, Bendis and Maleev.
Q&A:
Marvel Apes will happen.
That's it for YMB here...
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 05:30 PM
No video aside from Marvel's own camera is allowed...
Ticketed event. Jae Lee, Peter David, Ralph Macchio, Richard Isanove, Robin Furth, Joe Quesada, and Stephen King.
Rare to have one of the greatest authors, possibly ever, on a panel. it was hard for him to break into comics...
Being able to publish Dark Tower is a coming out party for comics to reach out into mainstream and let them know that comics has grown out of the "ghetto" of just children's literature.
Not just a boon for Marvel, but for all of comics. Midnight releases very successful.
Star Wars scout troopers "guarding" stage.
Standing ovation for King...
Goes straight to Q&A...
Just started reading book, should I be wary of spoilers? No spoilers. Get over this spoiler shit, man. The comic just kicks ass.
How intimidating to adapt a book that has reached so many people? The most intimidating is that it goes to "Steve" for review. Just do the best job you can. Labor of love. No impact on writing style, per se.
Katie told me to tell you you're the greatest. "No, Katie is the coolest." If I donate 100 to your favorite charity will you sign my copy of the book? "...No." *Laughter*
Wonderful marriage as comic fans check out the book and book fans check out the comic. Great to be seen by so many people. Might work with other authors in future, but now it's all about Dark Tower.
When you saw the artwork, did it live up to what's in your head? I'm in awe of what these artists did. Very gratifying.
Back and forth about Mets/Yankees with questioners. "Yankee fans don't ask questions, they know all the answers."
What was message of last book, theme of disappointment? Was that intentional? Overall theme is of evolution. You don't get what you want immediately. Sometimes you don't get it right the first time. Evolutionary process. When you do long volume work, like Potter, when you get to end, you're always going to piss off fans, because it's over and there's nothing you can do at the end that will satisfy them.
Always new material or will you adapt stories? Building up to battle of Jericho hill.
Lee thrilled with look. It's been so long, he's "forgotten how to ink".
More Dark Tower comic series in future? Up to King. Up to Quesada. King: there's always more stories.
"If you keep calling me Mr. King, I'm going to kick your ass."
When you wrote Gunslinger, did you know about Mordred? No. The story tells itself, in a sense. Your job is to just stand back.
What's it like for Quesada to sit next to "his lordship"? You had to be there for the first meeting. King asked to take the boards with him and Quesada knew he had him. Asked years ago, what is the holy grail to get to work in comics? King was the answer.
Would King ever work on a Marvel character? If something comes up in his mind, these are the people he'd go to, but right now he can't think of a superhero he'd like to write.
Why did you remove his fingers? "I didn't remove them, they got bit off." He was the most surprised person that it happened.
King never knows who's going to return in his books or show up again.
Darabont on series to adapt Dark Tower? King said no to everyone until recently. Fear of it not being a good movie. Been working on it since his 20s. Generally he doesn't give a shit about movie adaptations. If they're bad he still gets royalties on the book.
But with the comic, he knew this team was as good as it gets. Comic was so well received it rekindled his interest in a movie. With Darabont's plate so full, he optioned it to the Lost guys for $19 because he trusts them.
David sees himself as a professional liar/fabricator. It's nifty to get paid for it. The paycheck is all that separates him from the guy walking down the street muttering to the voices in his head.
I know you like to be in your movies, can we expect to see a character drawn after you in the comic? Lee says he's bad with likenesses, so probably not.
Media suggestions? Writes about that in Entertainment Weekly. Whatever you're reading is great. Don't let thought police take whatever that is away.
Distrustful of technology.
What made you choose to adapt this part off Roland's life? We talked about what the doorway in to this series might be like. There's a blank spot in the middle of his life from the books. He wants to see Roland be the only one to get away over a pile of dead bodies.
Do you ever think of actors when visualizing characters? I never see 'em. Doesn't know how to explain it. Doesn't see characters, it's like he's behind their eyes. Maybe if they looked in a mirror...
The Dark Tower is a first draft. Sees it as still in progress. Special Editions? Now that he knows how it ends, there's more he can do with it. When he got done, he realized that certain elements should have been introduced earlier. I know now some things that I can do. Would like to go back and might even novelize their comic book.
Art is never finished, only abandoned.
Any Marvel characters besides Dr. Doom? Don't mistake us for people who know where we're going.
What's on your t-shirt? Oh, this is a Shaun off the Dead t-shirt. *applause*
Clarifies, there will be no Lucas-y special edition, don't worry.
Like going to Disneyland for King when visiting Marvel office.
Lee thought it was cool being escorted in by Stormtroopers today, that was his "geek moment" during the process.
"You colored Jae better than you colored me". Well, it works better when you have a better artist. *laughter*
You write so many different kinds of books do you have to get into a particular mind set to do that? "No. Once you start the mindset comes."
Because I feel pretty good, I have more of a tendency to think about if I had croaked. If I'd ended up in a wheelchair. What I do with that accident is that it gets plugged into the work like everything else in my life. Turn it into leftovers. ...that doesn't make any sense. Well, shit.
Thanks, ovation, end.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 01:00 PM
We're going to have some video, too, for this panel.
Saw Hayden Panettiere being escorted around by stormtroopers and apologizing to the crowd for the commotion.
Yesterday SciFi/Virgin Comics announced.
Five titles. Global ambitions. Unique properties. September launch. Road testing concepts. Comic fans will be the taste testers for bringing concepts to other media.
Kevin Smith moderating.
VP of marketing at Sci Fi. James Callis and Tricia Helfer.
Clip reel shown.
Boy fraks girl. Boy inadvertently ends world.
Classic love story.
Smith asks how someone gets into marketing.
Smith's Star Wars pen pal was in Alberta Canada, asks Helfer if she knew him.
Asks about the Six/Xena threesome. If he could also nail Scully, that would be the trifecta.
Helfer had been acting for a year before BSG. Drawn to script.
Almos very "passionate". Smith asks if that's code for being an asshole.
Callis had done Bridget Jones. At first he was acting almost in his own show with little interaction with rest of cast. Wasn't until he saw it all together that he saw how "amazing" it was.
Was there ever a moments hesitation about doing sci fi? Callis says he said are you f-ing kidding me when first approached about part. Didn't "get it", until he was auditioning with Helfer. Helfer's dad was a Battlestar fan.
Callis wanted to be very different from original, not a creep in a toga by a laptop.
Togas in season four.
Helfer had no prior character reference.
Callis says writers were brilliant in giving character his foil in Six. Original Baltar sold out humanity for a "bathrobe". New Baltar's motivations more complex.
How to play "Six"? Was originally a colder character. How does she walk, talk, sit?
Six's Jiminy Cricket relationship with Baltar? What was it like when character interaction changed when Six was shown to have a Baltar in her head? Didn't work at first. Had to re-figure out how they moved around each other. Had to do it slightly differently. Writers will be getting back to it. Helfer was happy that Callis would also see what it was like to be outside a scene while in a scene. First time they did it, Callis missed his line, forgetting he was in the scene, just watching the other actors.
Helfer loves challenge of playing multiple versions of same character.
When they're on a Basestar and have their hands in some shit... what is that shit? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes water. Smith expects them to say "you're soaking in it."
Does BSG open doors in the industry? Few in industry watch the show. Callis went to meeting with Disney. They thought he was in Stargate and was cancelled. Callis does great, funny American accents.
There's a snobbery in the industry against sci-fi. But outside the industry, it's massive. It's going to last in people's minds long after show is over.
Why the move to Sunday? Wanted to bring in new people. Ratings up 10%. The best show not many people are watching.
Won a Peabody.
DVD movie, then air on SciFi. Side stories to tell.
Trial coming up, within three episodes.
Special effects when Battlestar Galactica jumped into atmosphere. Callis was impressed by scenes of ships on Caprica during day. Firefly fan spoke up about their show.
Never want to come up against a browncoat. These cats celebrate a show not even on the air anymore. Helfer used to date Nathan Fillion.
There are rebel troopers "guarding" the stage...
Q&A:
Spoilers? Starbuck off the credits? Can't say.
Spin off Caprica still being worked on.
Baltar best character ever in history of any media? Will he be the eventual saviour off all humanity? He may not be. But you can't quite put your finger on what he's about.
On a Star Trek vs. BSG panel and Star Trek person said that dark as it is the characters on BSG keep their hope and ultimately that's what the show is about. Callis doubts Baltar can redeem himself.
How do you play Baltar in high emotion scenes? Take some time by yourself. Get head into space where you believe it yourself so you can project it to the camera.
Baltar's beard? Can we have an unkempt tv character? Baltar no longer cares about his appearance, it's emblematic of his state of mind.
Smith loses a bet when the marketing guy gets a question about repeats of Hollow Man. Are they limiting the exposure of the show by not re-running it constantly? Marketing guy says that's not accurate, schedule is on SciFi.com. Smith tells questioner he was "fucking Pwned!"
Any other original actors coming up? Dirk Benedict will play Baltar's Mini-Me. Anything possible. Smith says no, because Lorne Greene is dead.
Helfer have any concerns playing such a sexual character? No worries from miniseries due to the character's intelligence being so central.
Smith compliments them again to end it. Much clapping of hands.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:00 AM
Heard in crowd that in Nova #3, Nova fights Penance. Not sure if that's news or not...
Civil War over... now the aftermath.
Bill Rosemann editing Nova and Ms. Marvel.
Oeming writing Omega Flight and Ares.
Slott writing She-Hulk, Initiative, and FCBD Spider-Man issue.
McCann, sales and marketing.
Initiative, Bendis, Ellis, Silvestri, March 2007, Iron Man holding Cap's battered sheild.
Ed Brubaker Steve Epting March 7 2007, McGuiness cover.
CW: The Confession. Cap put behind bars in preview art.
Stefano Caselli now exclusive to Marvel. With Slott on Initiative. Jim Cheung covers.
Price to pay for being pro-reg. You're drafted. You're in the army now. EVERBODY in in the book.
SHIELD has drafted She-Hulk to fight Hulk bad guys in the absence of a Hulk.
She-Hulk #18, ten seconds later, Hulk #106.
Cover of Nova #3, Nova DOES fight Penance. April 2007. Abnet, Lanning, Chen, Granov.
Essentially the Lone Ranger of space. All the power, all the responsibility. Entire galaxy. Stressed to limit. Knows that Civil War happened, doesn't yet know why. Finds out when he returns. T-Bolts called in. Raising Nova to A-List.
Knaufs, Zircher, Parel. Iron Man: Director of SHIELD. On sale next week.
Ms Marvel, raises her game against higher profile villains to be "the best of the best". Joins Avengers, strikes deal with Tony for access to SHIELD to go after worst of the worst.
Something is brewing in New Avengers, watch closely. Will go toe to toe with Mighty Avengers.
Omega Flight, original idea from Millar, idea evolved. Pretty open characters to work with. Putting alpha male American in Canada.
Paco Medina on New Warriors. Cover image shows character defacing Iron Man poster.
Cherniss, Johnson, Briones, Turner. Sub-Mariner, June 2007
Tease of Thor. Kissing Sif.
Barry Kitson now exclusive to Marvel. MATT FRACTION AND KITSON ON CHAMPIONS.
Questions and Answers:
Avengers The Initiative #2 deals with other countries dealing with America's superhero army. As does Omega Flight.
New Great Lakes Avengers one shot. Great Lakes Initiative (GLI).
Is the natural progression of the Marvel Universe really a superhero army? Yes. Why? Civil War. "No civil liberties" meme in Marvel books? She-Hulk 20 deals with those issues.
Originally Marvel was reflective of things like fear of radiation, war, space race. Marvel still reflects real world. Only natural that artists would express the events around them. That's the core. It resonates with us now. Stories of the fantastic with an underlying metaphor that is real.
Whether you believe in pro-reg or anti-reg, it was government acting responsibly based on wants of citizens on the Marvel Universe. In Civil War #7, we saw the average person wanting registration, and that was why Cap gave up, because he did not see the bigger picture that Tony Stark did. Cap realized he was not representing what the people wanted with registration.
Team forms in issue one on Mighty Avengers, they even fight in issue one, and it was STILL written by Bendis. *Laughter.*
Ares steals the book.
New villain underworld brewing. Organized crime developed its power base during war in the real world. Big thing coming two years away.
Slapstick in Initiative #1. Who's on the NJ team? Will tease it out over time. Delaware? No one's in Delaware. *Laughter.* Those who do bad in training end up in the less important states.
Even Swamp Thing wouldn't take New Jersey. *Laughter.*
Will we see a new take on Mandarin? Kim Jong Il? Very definitive version coming up in Iron Man.
What kinds of new characters in Initiative? Komodo, who stole some on Connors serum.
Jarvis role defined in Mighty Avengers #1.
Deadpool in Great Lakes Initiative.
Spider-Woman and Ms. Marvel share history and are now on two different Avengers teams. Key scene between the two of them in The Initiative.
What did Joss Whedon do to help resolve Civil War? Still can't say. But will be answered within a month. Will tell in Joe Friday on Newsarama. Deadlocked about exact ending. Couldn't figure it out. Discussing for hours. Joss came in, was presented the two sides, and said, are you crazy, it must be this. And his reasons were so sound story-wise that they went with it.
USAgent is the Marvel Universe's Ted Nugent, opinionated, but wants to be a hero for the right reasons.
How is Marvel's draft different than New Universe's? More people reading. And Pittsburgh does not blow up.
X-Men were registered de-facto during the 198. Read Initiative #3.
If you lived in the MU and were constantly wondering if your car would still be there in the morning, if you'd be able to walk to work without having a bus thrown at you, you'd want registration.
Cap realized the people felt that way. Now heroes are all licensed, sanctioned, and trained. Tony spearheaded this and he's the only one with the names.
If Civil War ended with status quo re-established, it would be unfulfilling.
Is Thunderbolts still about redemption? They're really evil now. Those themes will be explored but he can't give anything away.
Is the registration act written down somewhere for consistency?
If you get through training your registration gets upgraded to hero license.
Upcoming She-Hulk issue (#21) will fix 90% of all Marvel continuity issues.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 05:30 PM
Joe Quesada moderating...
Bill Rosemann, will be working on tie in book for event.
Christos N. Gage will be writing two books for event.
Frank Tieri writing Gamma Corps.
Pak writing Incredible Hulk.
Jim McCann will be marketing.
Quesada starts off with a joke that Hulk just eats Earth.
Peter David wrote Prelude.
WWH, five issue miniseries and four IH issues tying in to the main book.
Five covers form giant image of Illuminati fighting Hulk. Last cover hidden. Secret who Hulk fights at end.
Images from book: Giant ship appears over New York, Hulk projects his image into Times Square
Incredible Hulk 106-109, Pak, Gary Frank, will follow those who side WITH Hulk. Hercules, Angel, and others on cover.
World War Hulk: X-Men 1-3. Gage and DiVito. Great cover image of Hulk about to pop Xavier's head like a blister. McGuinness cover.
Hulk shows up at Xavier's. Doesn't know about 198. Distress call due to Hulk possibly eliminatingg rest of mutants in the world in his rampage. Dream project for Gage.
WWH: Gamma Corp. Tieri and Ferreira. "Villain" book. General Ryker back from Dogs of War storyline. Puts together military unit to bring down Hulk. Think team from "Predator" with gamma powers.Deals with consequences of having Hulk in the world.
WWH: Frontline 1-6. Jenkins and Bachs. Follow up to Civil War Frontline. Street level look at the event. Multiple stories. Lead story with reporters Ben Urich and Sally. Danny in backup story (Sally's cop boyfriend). Two page humor bit in back of book.
Pak says tie-in scripts look amazing so far.
Gage says WWH #1 is phenomenal and the reason comics are better than movies.
Iron Man 19 & 20 tie in to WWH, Tony's first big challenge as director of SHIELD. Changes dynamic. Gigantic defense organization at his beck and call, but it's a grudge match. Does he put these soldiers in harms way over that? Gage writing.
Humbug in Heroes For Hire can talk to the Brood.
Ghost Rider ties in as well.
Avengers The Initiative #4 also ties in. More from Slott in next panel.
Young Avengers one-shot for WWH. Loeb and Finch.
Question answers:
Tony will be trying to change culture of SHIELD. Will meet resistance.
Century will be in WWH.
Mystery hero at end.
Illuminati #2, each member has an Infinity Gem, will be addressed in WWH why they don't use those.
Everyone will try to go head to head with Hulk. Get to see all the heroes try.
Idea came from summit, came before Civil War. Had gotten away from Hulk smashing, more a mystery book for a time. Summer event could be "Spartacus in space". While planning for Planet Hulk, Loeb or Bendis mentioned doing Civil War. Decided to do that concept first, decided Planet Hulk worked better coming after Civil War.
Why follow up tie-in heavy CW with another event with tie-ins (35 tie ins over 4 months)? Smaller number of tie ins than Civil War. There was a lot of chopping in Civil War event. A lot was whittled down. If you just read WWH main title, you will get a complete story. Entire X-Men story takes place in 47 minutes during the main storyline.
Quesada hates when tie-ins are required for the story. Civil War tie-ins added to story but weren't required. You were "absolutely cool" just reading main Civil War book.
Squirrel Girl is Ronan (not really).
Hulk writers always seem to take a different spin on Hulk, what is the core of the book, then? Creators bring their flavor. Consistency of character helped along by editor. Hulk has always been about radical changes. At first he only changed at night and was crafty. Then was savage and cavemen like. Not inconsistent, book is about who is the hero and who is the monster and as Banner grows the thing that comes out of him changes.
Reed and Sue back together on cover? Not in FF team, but are in book. Just back to fight? Maybe.
(Kid asking) Will Hulk fight Venom in WWH? Check Gamma Corp for villain action.
Venom will show up this summer.
Hulk/Juggernaut rematch? Won't say one way or the other. Don't want to spoil.
Quesada like the current ratio of event books to regular books. Fans want these event books right now. It goes through cycles, but this is what they want now. Permanent event culture? Less than 10% of total number of books from Marvel in a month is part of WWH. X-Men used to be one quarterly event after another. What is an event 10 titles? Is the big Spider-Man story an event? Quesada believes so.
Avengers: The Initiative, Stark has put Rhodey in charge of 50 State Initiative. Every registered hero is drafted. Initiative is superhero boot camp, training for these registered heroes. In WWH, they throw their superhero army after the Hulk.
WWH starts immediately after She-Hulk #18. Like ten seconds after. Jen learns what Reed and Tony did to her cousin.
Everybody runs through The Initiative. In #2 Rangers team in Texas, plus all the flying heroes dealing with a Hydra air attack.
Maestro is similar in image to Planet Hulk Hulk. Won't speculate on connection. By end of WWH, you will see an interesting angle on that possible connection.
Will see how this all effects Banner. Hulk 103, Banner appears on Planet Hulk.
And Planet Hulk will not end with someone crying and giving up.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 04:30 PM
Packaging and Monkeyman
First line up, Pitt (build figure) is huge!
Marv
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:30 AM
Brood, Cyclops, Marvel Girl
Yellowjacket, Black Knight, Danger
Black Knight
5 inch Spider-Man live
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:00 AM
Captain Marvel
Justice Armored Superman and Aquaman
Justice Scarecrow (with alternate Dr. Crane head) and Grood
Kubert Bizarro
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:30 AM
IT IS UPON US. This gathering, this confluence of geekery on one of the finest cities in the world. And it's gonna be better than last year, I have faith. I'm talking about the New York Comic Con, the new hotness on the comic convention scene. Last year was a smashing success in terms of demand, a learning experience as far as the con was run, and for me, just an absolute blast. So this year, YMB is offering you EXTENSIVE coverage of the con, from our network of intrepid reporters, editors, staff writers, freelancers, friends, family, and Black Adam.
And to kick off Con Week, we begin with the guide to New York.
GETTING AROUND
It never ceases to amaze how many people have lived in this city for years and have absolutely no concept of how to get around it. It's very simple.
THERE'S A REASON WHY WE'RE NOT THE FATTEST CITY IN THE COUNTRY
Walk. Seriously. You're underground in a subway, stressed out in a car, not really paying attention from a cab. The best way to see the sights in the city is to get out there on foot and gawk. Walking is the best possible way to get around, assuming the trip is reasonable. One thing you MUST remember when wandering the city on foot: STAY TO THE SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK. Nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING irritates a New Yorker more than tourists meandering down the sidewalk, slack-jawed and staring up at the tall buildings, then randomly stopping in the middle of the sidewalk/street like they're the only ones there. If you stop like that, prepare to get mowed down by at least three people who are walking close enough behind you to not be able to get out of the way.
Anyway, Here's a rundown of what you need to know to walk around the city:
When you exit the Javits Center, look straight ahead. That's crosstown, the avenue numbers will be going down. Now look left. That's uptown. The street numbers will be going up. And look right: downtown. The numbers all make sense as long as you avoid lower Manhattan (then you get name streets, and you really need to look at a map).
LEARN TO LOVE THE SUBWAY
The subway is your friend. Granted, the nearest subway will be 8th Avenue (4 blocks east of the Javits Center), but if you want to go anywhere outside of the immediate vicinity of the Javits Center, you'll need it. Metrocards cost $2 per ride, and you get one free transfer between subway and bus. If you're going to be here for the weekend, a $10 Metrocard (which gives you one additional free ride) should be enough to cover you.
CABS
Good luck. You'll get more bang for your buck on the subway, and if it's too short a trip to take on the subway, you might as well walk.
DRIVING
Take a cab.
WHAT'S WHERE IN NYC
If you've got a guide with you, a friend from the city who knows their way around, you'll have no problems. But if you're new in town and you're feeling adventureous, here's a brief summary of Manhattan.
Upper West Side
Up there is Columbia. Pampered rich kids drinking on daddy's tab. On the plus side, here and the village are the only two places you'll find beer pong (the other being the village). On the minus side, there's Columbia kids everywhere.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Dog crap during the day (Yuppies love their puppies, but not cleaning up after themselves so much), 19 year old vomit after dark. Yes, you most certainly can hold your liquor, sweetheart.
BARS:
I'm partial to The Abbey on 103rd and Broadway. Quiet place, cheap beer, and you tend to avoid the vast majority of the Columbia kids, although they don't really card, so the Columbia kids that are there are usually right around 18. There's also Smoke on Broadway between 105 and 106th Streets, a nice jazz club that'll have a cover every night of the con. And if you're up here and itching for beer pong, check out The West End, on Broadway and 113th.
RESTAURANTS:
One of the many Dallas BBQs in the city is located up here, on 72nd between Columbus and Central Park West (HUGE booze portions). There's also an all you can eat sushi place down the block. Look for the "All You Can Eat" sign. And there's Big Nick's Pizza/Burgers, on Broaway between 76th and 77th. All quality, reasonable options.
SUBWAYS: 1, 2, 3, A, C, B, D
Upper East Side
These people have more money than they know what to do with, so they decide to spend it on $10 beers. It's a nice neighborhood, but it's out of my price range. One positive, however, is this is where they hide a lot of the Red Sox bars.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Celebrity sightings. A bunch of them live up here.
BARS:
coughcoughSCOREScoughcough. I'm sorry, frog in the keyboard. O'Flanagans, on 1st Avenue between 65th and 66th is a nice little Irish pub, cheap beer, live music, and a decent crowd. There's also coughSCOREScough the Baker Street Pub, which is roughly the same deal.
RESTAURANTS:
I...I think I've only eaten up here in bars. But I think Scores has a buffet.
SUBWAYS:
4, 5, 6
Midtown
This is where the tourists go. Everything's around here. Obviously, Midtown Comics has both locations here, along with Jim Hanley's Universe (technically, I think it's Gramercy, but who's counting?), the BIG ass Toys R Us, chain restaurants, Broadway, and touristy bars and restaurants that are overpriced and overcrowded. I'm not saying to avoid the area, because if you want to catch a show or do some touristy shopping, this is the place to be. But if you don't feel like any of that, if you're in the city for comics, booze and friends, there are better places than Midtown.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Four Freedoms Plaza in Times Square. And if you want to catch a Broadway show, check out the TKTS booths on 47th and Broadway or (there's another one in a hotel right there). They sell same day tickets to shows at up to 60% discounts. Just don't have your heart set on the Lion King or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, because those are the first to go.
BARS:
Lots. But they're lots expensive. Mustang Sally's on 7th Avenue between 32nd and 33rd is a fun little place, as is the Blarney Rock on 32nd between 7th and 6th Avenues, but beware: there's a Rangers game on Saturday night, and St. John's (BELOVED ALMA MATER) is playing Duke at the Garden Sunday afternoon, so both of these bars will be full during and immediately following both games. A little further uptown is Rudy's, a complete shithole with cheap (and actually pretty good) house beer, a decent jukebox, and a good atmosphere. And check out 44th Street between 8th and 10th Avenues-there's a whole bunch of nice bars that aren't divey at all.
RESTAURANTS:
Even the theme restaurants are gonna gouge you. It's NOT going to be cheap to eat in this neighborhood. If you don't mind splurging a little, Ruby Foo's on 49th and Broadway is very much worth the money. And there's rumored to be a Brazilian BBQ place on 44th between 9th and 10th.
SUBWAYS:
Everything. The entire subway system is designed to get you here. Except the G.
Union Square
Between Forbidden Planet, Cosmic Comics and MOCCA, this place is the NYC comics mecca. You've also got my favorite city movie theater, the good Virgin Megastore, and some good bars and restaurants are all down here. You'll get the full array of expensive to divey, rock to hip hop, and our kind is always welcome.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Hippies. Hippies in tie dye. Hippies with dreads. Hippies with bikes. Hippies with megaphones. Hippies with messages. Hippies with nonsensical messages. This is where almost all the anti-war protests, anti-globalization protests, anti-NYPD's bicycle policy protests start and or end.
BARS: Wander a little. You'll find a bunch of good ones. You may want to check out Bowlmor Lanes, a half club/half bowling alley, on University Place between 12th and 13th.
RESTAURANTS:
The Blue Water Grill may be my favorite restaurant of all time. Of course, someone else was paying, but holy crap was that food amazing.
SUBWAYS:
N, R, Q, W, 4, 5, 6 to 14th Street.
The Village
Picture the Upper West Side. Now instead of entitled (and drunk) Columbia kids, change them with entitled (and drunk) NYU kids. Add in a healthy dose of bridge and tunnel youths (kids from the outer boroughs, Long Island or New Jersey) and you have the Village.
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Failed reality television wannabes. Pay particularly close attention to the Growing Up Gotti asshats-you'll know them when you see them: vertically striped button down shirts, $200 jeans, white sneakers, unnaturally spiked hair, George Hamilton's skin and a glass jaw.
BARS: Again, tons. For beer pong, go to Off the Wagon on McDougal and Bleeker. There's live music at probably half the bars in the west 4th Street/Bleeker Street corridor. And you can taste the world at the Peculiar Pub, but be aware: the tip is included in the cost of the drink.
RESTAURANTS:
A bunch, but I almost always end up at this falafel place on McDougal Street. Best street food EVAR.
SUBWAYS:
Again, everything. You're looking for the Chambers Street, West 4th Street, or Bleeker Street stations.
The Rest of the City
If you're willing to venture out of the comfortable areas of the city (the number grid), there's probably too much for you. Chinatown has some amazing food (N/R to Canal St.). The Lower East Side has a TON of hipster bars (F to Delancey St. and if you walk north on Essex, you can walk two blocks east or west and find a bar on almost every block between here and 14th Street). Tribeca has The Patriot (E/1 to Chambers Street), with hot waitresses and ridiculously cheap beer.
And shit, if you're willing to leave the cold comfort of Manhattan, Williamsburg and Park Slope have some FANTASTIC comic shops, bars and restaurants (LOVE YOU, BROOKLYN MONSTER FACTORY!), and Queens has an incredibly diverse selection of food. And if you want to go where the geeks are, check out the Beat's NYCC page to find out where the parties are. I think I'm going to try and hit the PCS party on Saturday night. But really, what you should do in a city like New York:
Get lost. Not in the rude, condescending, stereotypical New Yorker sense. But in a nearly literal sense. Go to neighborhoods you haven't been to. Try restaurants you just walked by. When you hear a loud bar, go in. Try it all. It's a great town.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 09:00 AM
Acclaimed UK author Jon Courtenay Grimwood stops by the basement to talk about his previous works, changing styles and what's coming next.
Your novels straddle several genres, fantasy, alternate history, science fiction, hard-boiled crime thriller…how would you describe your work?
As a JCG novel… And I really try to write within one genre, but it always goes out of the window, although I’m getting better at only meshing two or three genres at one time. Thing is, I really like working across genres. It’s truer to life.
What is it about science fiction that attracts you?
As a writer, the fact you get to mess with reality, you can make up facts, no one can bang the table and say, but it’s not real. As a reader, ditto…
I’ve noticed quite a difference from your early novels to your current work. Was it a conscious decision to switch things up?
The first four novels were post-cyberpunk. The first, neoAddix was dreadful, Lucifer’s Dragon was better, reMix worked reasonably well, and I really like redRobe. In effect, I was learning to write in public and got it right after the first two.
The three Ashraf Bey mysteries are different. Each one is a stand-alone crime novel, set in an alternate Ottoman empire, and there’s a strong SF strand that doesn’t get revealed until the end… The slowing of the pace, the emphasis on character and the simpler narrative structure are entirely conscious.
Stamping Butterflies, 9tail Fox and End of the World Blues (which has just been shortlisted for the BSFA and Clarke awards) grew out of what I learned from the Raf books. They’re still mysteries, with a strong SF element, but they’re set in our world, more or less.
Out of all of the characters you’ve created who is your favorite?
Impossible to say… Really impossible… I’m currently writing a six-hundred year old hero who lives in Mexico City, and I love him. But also I’m really fond of Raf, and Jake Razor, and Bobby Zha, and also Kit from End of the World Blues, because that’s a fantastically personal book and I really like Tokyo. All my characters are my favourites as a write them, because they’re inside my head and I’m inside theirs.
I’ve read that you visit the locations featured in your novels as well as actually cook the meals that your characters eat; do you feel that you need this level of authenticity?
Yes… there’s a famous story about a UK novelist who had a characters walk along a river that ran round a city. Only, she based her description on a map, and her river turned out to be a road.
Unless you visit a city you don’t know what it smells like, what the air tastes like, what sounds you hear at night and what the streets feel like underfoot. You learn a lot about a culture from its cooking. Whether people eat on the run or sit down, eat alone or with their families, cook elaborate meals or eat take out…
I also buy music in a city and listen to what’s current. And I watch the television and go to see films, even if I don’t understand the language. I know all fiction is a lie, but we have a duty to get right what we can. And then we can make up the stuff that matters, like the back story and the characters’ emotions.
I’d like to talk to you about some of your books and characters specifically starting with redRobe. It’s a sad world where the only safe place for refugees is on a man-made refuge in orbit run by a pacifist AI. Do you think the powers that be would prefer to just shoot refugees into space?
Writing redRobe came out of what was happening in the Balkans, with its ethnic cleansing and camps and refugees. The situation is going to get worse because global warming is going to hit poor countries first. When the sea rises and floods become common place people are going to move.
I wanted a solution that gave people a new start. And yes, I did want to make a point about the powers that be wanting to sweep the problem out of sight. That said, I think we have to go into space. The only question is when we face up to the fact.
Axl Borja is an interesting character. An emotionally damaged assassin working for the Vatican, where did he come from?
Ah… years ago a man called Stanley J Weyman wrote a Victorian novel called Under the Red Robe about a disgraced duellist at the time of Cardinal Richeleau, who ruled France in the early 1600s. I read it as a child and retold it set in the future as redRobe. It began as a straight updating and quickly turned into something else. One of the things that survived was the link between Axl and the Cardinal.
Axl against the Immortals is a nastily fun short story. Any chance of going back to check in with Axl in the future?
I’d love to, but I also want to go back to Raf and the Ashraf Bey mysteries. Interestingly, redRobe has just sold in Japan. So we’ll see how it goes there. redRobe was also the only film on which I’ve had a serious bite from a film company. Although it fell apart on the costings. (That was back in the day when CGI was still relatively expensive.)
Moving on to what is your most well known work, the Arabesk trilogy, were you hesitant at all in setting a series in the Middle East with the current happenings in the world?
When I started writing the Raf books we hadn’t gone to war with Iraq…! Also, the novels take place in El Iskandryia, a city on the Mediterranean famous until the 1950s for its cosmopolitan mix of Greeks, and Leventines, its Jewish quarter, and its exiles from Western Europe. The culture in Raf books is Ottoman and North African, rather than Middle Eastern, and the world is not ours.
We think of Islam as homogeneous. It isn’t. I remember sitting in a café in Tunis a couple of years ago surrounded by elegant middle class North-African women, all drinking cappucino and reading novels or their papers. For them, the headscarf was something elegant from Hermes. Another memory has a beggar in full headscarf breast-feeding her baby on a bench in Marrakech. (No one seemed remotely troubled. But then the culture in North Africa is very different to the culture in, say, Saudi Arabia.)
Ashraf Bey is another damaged character. He may or may not be royalty, he may or may not have an AI in his head that he sees as a fox. Do you think it’s easier to have a lead that is in some way different?
My characters tend to come into my head fairly fully formed. It wasn’t until I read a critical review that I realised the ex-sniper on the run in Tokyo from End of the World Blues had traits in common with Prisoner Zero from Stamping Butterflies, or that Raf in many ways shared my own childhood. I’m not sure my lead characters are different. Because I’m not entirely convinced I know what is normal. But all are in need of redemption, and all find it to some extent.
I found that despite all of the alternate history and science fiction elements that the Arabesk series is about a young man coming of age and finding his place by coming to terms with who and what he is. Was this your intent all along?
Yes, the Ashraf Bey novels are about a man realising he has to grow up and take responsibility for a small girl who may or may not be his cousin. This, plus his love affair with Zara, was always the dominant theme. It’s also about learning to understand the culture of others. In rejecting his arranged marriage, Raf thinks he is doing Zara a favour. In fact, he’s disgracing her.
Of course, who and what he is are complicated for Raf than for most people. But that’s just a heightening of the feeling we all have when young that we’re the first people to rebel, the first people to discover sex, the first people to protest about whatever it is we need to protest about.
You plan on returning to Raf and his niece Hani. When do you expect to start writing those stories and what if anything can you tell us about the direction they might go?
My publisher in the UK is combining the first three Ashraf Bey novels into one volume and issuing it as a huge hardback! I’d love to write more Raf books, but I’ve had to put that idea on hold as I’m currently writing the first of a three-volume crime series set in heaven, hell and Mexico City.
It features Joan of Arc and Giles de Rays, sometimes known as Bluebeard, and means I’ve been spending time in Mexico and New York, because it also takes place there. It’s an updating of Paradise Lost, with crime reports, angels and a love affair across time.
Do you have a title in mind for the book your currently writing and when do you think it might see print?
The book is called Thrones and Powers, and I'll finish writing it this summer, so probably the summer afterwards...
9TailFox is another genre bender. This is likely the least science fiction of your novels. Do you plan to write any other novels that are more mystical/magical?
Writing 9tail was a reaction to writing Stamping Butterflies. Writing SB was incredibly complicated. There are nine narrative strands over three time lines, and it basically ties the birth of punk to a far future Chinese empire, by way of a Parisian tramp who wants to shoot the president of the United States. Since the president he wants to shoot is the best president the country has had in years no one quite understands this.
9tail Fox is the story of Bobby Zha, a sergeant with the SFPD. It’s a crime novel, tied to a Dr-Moreau backstory that sees bodies being dumped in the Marin Headlands, north of the Golden Gate bridge. (And yes, I had great fun going to San Francisco and researching the city.)
A few people have questioned whether or not it’s SF. But, so far as I’m concerned, a novel with at least two of the characters walking around with brain transplants counts as SF to me. Of course, it does have a magical element. But I grew up in the Far East and so did Bobby’s grandfather. So I’ve used bits of that.
Stamping Butterflies has a pretty stark look at the way the US holds non-Americans. Do you like adding in some political commentary to your work? Is there ever any fear that you might turn some people off?
Whether or not we travel by plane, what we eat, who we sleep with, where we live and the jobs we do… Maybe it’s because I grew up in the late 1960s and early 1970s. It just seems obvious that politics threads through everything we do. Even novels that carefully avoid politics are political. What’s more political than avoiding politics?
I don’t think there are many people left who feel Guantanamo Bay is a useful solution to the problems facing us. And I remember being attacked in a blog for being anti-American, and being really shocked. I’ve been visiting the US since the mid-1980s, I was married in New York. The America I grew up respecting was that of Roosevelt’s New Deal, and the Marshall Plan of the post-War years. Events I was taught about in school. It’s still there, I know that from friends in the US. They say they’re just waiting for it to come out of hiding.
Moving on to End of the World Blues, Lady Neku’s world is a wonder. Floating palaces holding up a barrier that protects a largely dead world below with royalty living in a feudal existence. Where did the idea for the floating rope world come from?
It’s a play on ukiyo-e, the wood-block prints from Japan that are known as ‘pictures of the floating world’. I wanted to make it literal, to have a world bound round with ropes, and I also wanted to play on the idea of nawa shinbari or kinbaku, which is Japanese rope bondage, a ancient form that goes back centuries.
Hayato Kato, who I met .. when one of my short stories was about by a Japanese magazine, helped me come up with nawa-no-ukiyo - floating rope world - which caught the right combination of history and artistic subversion. The plan was to make Lady Neku’s rope world link to Kit’s wife, Yoshi’s, need to be bound (Yoshi is co-owner of their biker bar in Tokyo).
Are there any plans for you to make a bigger push in the US market? Your novels really are unlike anything else on the market.
The reviews have been great. All the right papers, New York Times, Washington Post, Locus, New York Review of Science Fiction, Scifi.com, and others. A shortlisting for the John W Campbell Memorial Award…
Things are picking up and one of the Raf books reprinted recently. End of the World Blues is to be published by Bantam Spectra this year (I’ve just seen the cover rough, it looks fantastic). Nightshade Books are publishing 9tail Fox in the US, also this year. We’ll see what happens. In the past, the fact my novels are unlike anything else in the US market has scared booksellers slightly. Now it seems to be turning into an advantage.
Thanks for taking the time to talk with us Jon!
Jon Courtenay Grimwood can be found online at his website http://j-cg.co.uk/ or at his myspace page http://www.myspace.com/joncg .
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 06:00 PM
by Casey Ontiveros
John Paul Leon has had a long career in the comic industry, starting off at Dark Horse, then moving to Milestone to work on Static, and finally working on the Wintermen for Wildstorm. His work evokes a sense of Alex Toth, with sparse uses of negative space to get the idea across without having to draw every single wrinkle.
We here at Your Mom's Basement took time from a very busy J.P. Leon to interview him. We are very fortunate for this and to get some interesting news about theBLVD.
YMB. For those that don't know your work (I doubt there will be many here who don't know what you have done in the past), can you give us a quick run down of your personal favorites that you have done in the past?
JPL. I'm probably best known for my penciling work on Earth X a few years back. Also as the original artist of Static from the old Milestone days in the early 90s. As far as personal favorites, I'm pretty fond of the book I'm working on now for Wildstorm, The Winter Men. I also look back fondly at my run on Challengers of the Unknown in the mid 90s. Those that are really curious are invited to browse my site at http://www.johnpaulleon.com/
YMB. Static was one of the reasons, at least for myself, to pick up Earth X and Challengers of the Unknown (the few back issues I could find), it was probably one of the best things to come out of the mid-nineties boom and in some people's opinion, out of Milestone, would you like another return to the character if given the chance?
JPL.Thanks. I don't know. I did return to the character in 2000 for the Static Shock mini. Although artistically it was a very difficult series to get out for me I enjoyed returning to the Milestone world form a very different artistic perspective than I had from when I first started out. What I'm trying to say in a very convoluted way is that I was a different artist in 2000 than in 1994. This made the material fresh for me again. That was fun. What was no fun was that I just couldn't make a damn line then without whiting it out and repeating it over and over. Everything just looked like shit to me at the time and the boards ended up weighing five pounds each because there was so much damn white-out on the page. I was very unhappy while doing it and afterwards, looking at it.
YMB. Why didn't you return to the Earth X franchise?
JPL. Didn't want to jump back into that story again right after doing Earth X. Felt I had done it, for better or worse, and Universe X, for me, would have just been more of the same.
YMB. There are a few readers here who absolutely love Wintermen. In fact, there are a lot of people who loved the Wintermen. Pros and fans alike, it has a style unlike a lot of comics out there right now. With the planned Special that's suppose to come out, do you feel like it's doing justice to the series, wrapping it up in that way, when the higher ups at DC/Wildstorm cut it down to 6?
JPL. Thank you for that. I'm glad people are liking the book at least! I think the special will be satisfying to everyone but it is a little compressed. I'm working on it now and, although I think it all works, it would have been nice to do the full eight issues. The story is very textured and we were planning on devoting an entire issue to the Siberian, a character who we haven't met yet, so a lot of his importance to the overall picture has been compromised. That's unfortunate. But the special issue will make for a dense read. Hopefully one day we will see a collection.
YMB. How much research did you have to do for the Russian text and some of the locations for the Wintermen?
JPL. The locations and Russian imagery reference has been pretty thorough. I have a lot of books and old National Geographics all over my studio. I've been living with this stuff for a few years now! Google images has also been very helpful. In any story, authenticity is very important. The illusion of authenticity at least! Moreso in this book I felt, because not only do you want people to believe this stuff is existing in the real world, or at least a world very similar to our own, but the location is crucial to the story. We wanted to try and take the reader into this world of contemporary Russia so that the texture of that world becomes almost more important than the plot of the story.
As far as the Russian text goes, we have been lucky enough to be working with John Workman as our letterer. John was able to enlist the help of an old friend, Mark Pennington to do the transliterations into Cyrillic text. I believe Mark used to do Russian translations for the Navy but I may be wrong about that. Anyway, I think Mark's help with this has really added a whole other texture to the book. It wouldn't be the same without his help. Thanks again, Mark!
YMB. I was actually keeping an eye out for places that I'd been to in Moscow and checking the written words. I was impressed beyond belief how much detail was placed into everything.
JPL. That's good to hear. I worry constantly that I'm missing so much that is crucial to the place since I've never been to Moscow. Sometimes I have the experience that after having had to draw something, a prop or location, I actually encounter it in real life and then realize I missed it when I drew it. Just missed it. Didn't do it justice. So I wake up nights thinking I'm not doing justice to contemporary Moscow. It's too late now. I know if I ever go there I will be kicking myself nonstop for missing that and that and that!
YMB. The BLVD virtual studio that you hold with Bernard Chang, Sean Chen, Tommy Lee Edward and Trevor Goring, and this has made me wonder, how does it work? Are there rapid IMs between the five of you about ideas you have or scans being sent back and forth to ask if it looks right because there is a twinge of doubt that there is something off with the image that you and your studiomates are working on?
JPL. You got it.
Also, we try and print up a sketchbook each year and set up at conventions together.
This sort of covers the next question too... We will be doing another sketchbook by San Diego this year. Also, and this is pretty exciting for us, we're honored to have Walter Simonson joining us this time around as a guest of theBLVD.
YMB. That's pretty amazing to have Walter Simonson joining you on the third Sketchbook. Are there still plans to release this book through BOOM! again or will you release it independently like the first one was released?
JPL. We will be printing this one ourselves although the format will probably be similar to the second volume. Square bound, comic book size.
YMB. Your art has a very realistic feel to it. I can't imagine how you play with the people to make them seem as personable as you do? When working, on anything, what is that one thing that you enjoy capturing over anything else?
JPL. The thing that excites me the most is when something comes off in a way that is not what I had expected that adds something to the story. It's tough to verbalize. It can be something as simple as a prop or location, or a facial expression combined with a piece of dialogue that is not what you might expect. When I read a script I usually get a first impression of what I think I should draw in a scene. Usually if I find that this first impression is simply a knee jerk reaction that is supplying the most obvious , generic choice , I will try to deliberately not do that! I mean, comics are generally so filled with stereotypes, who needs more of that!? It is a challenge to try to be at once specific and simple, without falling back on the trappings of symbolism.
YMB. You've done a great deal of work for the Batman Begins film, how did it feel creating a new artistic direction for Batman for the screen?
JPL. All the work I did for Batman Begins was for DC licensing. Similar to what I did for Superman. So this was not actually conceptual work for the film but working from existing model sheets, photographs, and on location at Shepperton Studios in England. We had access to the sets and costumes. That part of it was great. We got to see first hand the level of detail and thought that went into the film. When I say we I mean, DC flew out several artists to England for an intense one week work session at Shepperton. There was myself and Tommy Lee Edwards, Scott McDaniel, Mark Stutzman, and James Hodgkins. It was a great experience.
YMB. Are you also doing work for the new Batman movie that Christopher Nolan is directing?
JPL. As of yet I haven't been contacted for this one.
YMB. You did some work on the new Superman Returns books. How much was give and take on the amount of interpretation that you were allowed to do with the material?
JPL. Well, there wasn't much give and take. Licensing work tends to be pretty restrictive in that they want you to stay as close to the reference material as possible. I guess the thinking behind it is to try to appeal to as large an audience as possible. So with something like the character turn arounds they want you to be very faithful to the photos. I guess this makes sense because other artists will be working off your drawings and you wouldn't want to be too "interpretive" with it.
The children's books were a little different. I was allowed a little more room with drawing the actual characters but the stories themselves were very controlled. For instance, I did the illustrations for the sound story book published by Meredith books. If you've seen the film you know that there is a Kryptonian island that is featured towards the end of the picture, as well as the crystals that Lex uses to hatch his land-grab scheme. All this was in the initial script Brandon Snider turned in but was eventually cut to save these "reveals" for the film. The book could have been much better.
YMB. This really goes with the question of adaptations for license materials like the Superman material that you worked on: Do they give you a rough cut of the movie so you know what the movie will be like so you can get familiar imagery to the products that people are purchasing from what they've seen.
JPL. Actually they provided me with photographs. Scenes from the actual movie as well as studio photographs of the actors in costume.
YMB. Are you still using traditional mediums (pencil, pen, inks) or have you started to try drawing on a computer?
JPL. Yes. All hand drawn in pencil, then ink. The old fashioned way. Don't think I could get used to doing art directly on the computer. I am not friendly with them. There is a physicality to drawing that I could not get on a computer. I always feel, on the rare occasion when I color something, that the piece doesn't truly exist if it's just in the machine. I need to have it on paper.
But I scan things in and look at them on the monitor all the time. I think this has affected the way I work, what I think about while I work, in some way, though I can't say for sure how. MB similar to when artists first started to see reproductions or copies of their own work. Looking at something on a screen is different than looking at a copy, and that is different than looking at an original. David Hockney has written a couple of interesting books on this subject. Also the fact that, on the machine, you can blow something up that was minuscule in the actual drawing to the full size of the monitor is interesting. You can look at large sections and it gives a different perspective.
Discuss this article in our forum.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 09:00 AM
Your questions about love, sex, and relationships are answered by some of your favorite superheroes.
Dear Super Love,
I worry that I am not satisfying my girlfriend. She sometimes talks about her past boyfriends and mentions how, you know, "large" they were. She always says it as a joke and I don't think she realizes how much it hurts me.
I was wondering if you knew of any safe, non-surgical options that could increase my size, you know, "down there."
Thanks.
-Feelin' Small
Mr. Fantastic Responds:
Dear Feelin’,
In response to your query about the inadequacies that you are having in intimate moments, I would suggest that you take it upon yourself to try and reproduce the accident that has given the multiverse a great deal of relief from catastrophic events. In essence, create a rocket with inadequate shielding and go into a cosmic ray storm. Ms. Richards has never been happier. How else do you think I wooed her away from the Atlantean in the speedo? I mean, by God, have you seen his abs?
Dear Super Love,
My husband and I were first married a year ago, and financial concerns have recently forced us to move in with his parents. They've been supportive in most every respect but one: they refuse to let us share a bed. We're both 24 years old, and have been married- in the eyes of God no less- for over a year, but they don't think it's "appropriate" for us to share a bed. Can you believe that?! I am grateful that they took us in when we needed a leg up, but how can they be so old-fashioned?!
Sincerely,
Stuck On the Sofa
The Batman Responds:
Dear S.O.S.:
...my parents are DEAD.
Punk.
Dear Super Love,
I've always had a problem with premature ejaculation during intercourse. I've tried everything from desensitizing creams to masturbating a few hours before, but nothing seems to help. My girlfriend is patient, but I can't help feeling guilty and embarrassed. Help!
-Can't Control It
The Hulk Responds:
RAR! Puny human too anxious! It important to have lengthy foreplay and communicate with lover before human play put-it-in game! All about talking, talking, talking! Stupid puny humans never talk to Hulk, always attack! Why attack Hulk? Hulk just want to be left alone!
Stupid two-pump chump must talk to girlfriend about fears and concerns! With love and understanding, soon you be comfortable enough to go for hours! HOURS! RAR!
Stupid premature ejaculation never happen to Hulk! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!
Dear Super Love,
I'm having girl trouble. Yes, I have to admit that I'm not the most confident person in the world, but people look up to me. I've been in a relationship for many years and now there is someone else that has come into the picture.
This new woman makes me feel free. It's something that I've never really had a chance to feel before. I don't want to hurt my current girlfriend, because we've been through hell and back several times over. I need help on what to do here.
Sincerely,
Confused in New York
Cyclops Responds:
Dear Confused in New York,
....
Dear Super Love,
I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to catch the attention of a secretary in the office for months now. I thought the best moment to make a move would be at the office Christmas party. So at the party itself we all drank a lot, and I think she drank a little too much... and we hooked up. I really like her, but she's been really cold and standoffish to me ever since the party. I wish we hadn't gotten together under the influence of alcohol. Do you have any advice? How can I bridge that gap?
Help!
-Cast a Gimlet Eye
Iron Man Responds:
Yoou dont hav to worry about it friend! a little social lubricant goes along way trowards any solid relationshp. And the best relationship iz the one that only lasts a evening! Aha hah ha.. .so yeah if all else fails just sel the company and move onto another place! In the future, you shd hire an uglier secretary like Mrs arbogast. That way no hanky panky happens no matter HOW much bubbly you drink! And if theres no hanky panky, theres no way that yer compnay will be stolennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Dear Super Love,
My wife and I have been married 16 wonderful years. We met in grad school, and embarked on similar career paths upon graduation. She's wonderful. A great mother to our two boys, a fantastic wife (who's still beautiful and sexy after all these years), and a successful professional.
It's that last bit that's proving to be the problem. See, we're in the same profession, but she's advanced up the career ladder much faster than I have and now makes nearly twice what I do. To be honest, there are times that I don't feel quite like a man.
I know it's the 21st Century, but I was raised to believe that a man provides for his family. I'm supportive of my wife's career and all, and my salary isn't too shabby, but how do I get past this inferiority complex?
---Trying to Imitate a Modern Dude
Wonder Woman Responds:
Dear TIMID:
Grow a set. Why the Gods see the need for my people to develop ties with Patriarch's World, I will never know. "Still beautiful and sexy after all these years"? What is that supposed to mean? Unless you're the lone mortal man incapable of growing doughy in his midsection and retain his entire glorious mane into his mid-life years, you're hardly one to talk, tubby.
You're whinier than Aquaman.
Dear Super Love,
My husband recently started acting... different. Missing dinners, keeping odd hours. I'm worried that he's having an affair. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Nervous in South Dakota
Hellboy, BPRD, Responds:
Nervous,
Sounds like you got a vampire there. Your best bet is to either set him on fire or cut off his head with a big sword. Might also be a doppelganger. Whomping him upside the head with an iron horse shoe should reveal the demon. Then, cut off its head with a big sword.
Dear Super Love,
I'm a 23-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 24. He and I have been together almost eight months now and sexually active for most of that time. We've both been tested and are tired of the inconvenience and expense of condoms and are looking into other forms of birth control. I'm thinking about the pill, but I'm concerned about possible hormonal side effects. What do you recommend?
-Looking for Options
The Question Responds:
Can man's union with woman be complete without a vow? Can that bond created in matrimony be rent asunder by any man? Children may play at love, but only adults face the world as husband and wife. Children should not have children.
Which are you: woman? Or girl?
Dear Super Love,
I'm in a bit of a dilemma here. My girlfriend has offered to set up a threeway with one of her friends for my birthday. The thing is, I am not at all attracted to the friend with whom she has arranged this. She's already gotten the ball rolling on it, so I need a way to back out gracefully and without hurting our friend’s feelings. Please help.
Yours, Triple Threatened
Spider Jerusalem Responds:
Can that festering void in your brainpan even conceive of how long it's been since a female of our species managed to even fucking gaze upon my bits without vomiting up an extra pancreas? I ought to hunt you down just so I can cut off your nipples and fill them with salt that was harvested from the waterlogged corpse of your pederast father who was killed at fucking sea for trying to fuck a whale's blowhole, you fucking useless fucking gonad-sniffing fuckhair. Fuck.
Dear Super Love,
My girlfriend of the last six months has been trying to spice things up in the bedroom. In an effort to keep our romance lively, we've been consulting the Kama Sutra in a never-ending parade of increasingly varied and crazy positions. Sure, the sex is fun, but it's the soreness and stiffness -and not the fun kind- the next day that's bugging me out. Should I try to slowly move our sexual repertoire back to where it was or hire a physical therapist to help me recuperate from our lovemaking?
-The Beast with Two Backaches
Captain America Responds:
Face front, citizen!
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:00 AM
by Pete and EdC
Hail, and well met fellow geeks! We are sure that you are hating this day of days, much as we once did. Valentine's Day. The day of the pity valentine. "Make sure everybody gets a valentine, we don't want anybody feeling left out!" Yeah, that was a self-esteem builder. Or those lonely nights in your college lounge where you and the guys watched couples leave and return from their dates, as you fellows played one long, lonely game of Magic The Gathering. Or now, a lonely night spent with graphic novels, online porn, and microwaved burritos. Lonely, beef and green chile burritos.
Say goodbye to all of that! We here in the Basement have been where you are. We can help you out. It's not too late! We cover all the bases you will need help with to break that Valentine's Day dry spell... the dry spell of many, many years. So sit back and get ready for some learning, as you're about to learn up a storm from the Geek's Guide to Valentine's Day!
Meeting a Girl Online
The first step in this process is to verify that she is, in fact, a girl. Remember that time you joined the Microsoft .Net user forum with a girl's name because you figured (rightfully so) that it would get your questions answered faster?
Well, it's quite possible that the girl you have been wooing online may not actually be a girl. So, the first thing to do is determine if she is, indeed, a girl.
There are a few ways to go about this.
The first is to ask her via private message about the movie "Grease." All women are biologically pre-disposed to like the movie "Grease." If she cannot name three characters from the film, this should be a red flag.
The second way is to ask her the following question: 'arlogh Qoylu'pu'?
If she can answer you, it should be another red flag! Most real girls cannot speak Klingon!
Third, and finally, ask her "What did you think of John Byrne's Fantastic Four run?"
It's a trick question! Real girls have no opinion on John Byrne!
Certainly there are exception to every rule, some girls don't like Grease. They might like Top Gun. Or The Princess Bride. Or books. There might be a girl who does speak Klingon. There's possibly even a girl out there who really likes John Byrne (there isn't, but keep your illusions if you must). So, use the rules in tandem with each other. Two or more red flags? Block their PMs and find another lady-friend.
Meeting a Girl Offline
So, you've seen a girl offline that you fancy? How do you get her to notice you?
The trick is you've got to be where she's going to be. It's the only way she'll notice you. Remember: she can't notice how cool and clever you are if you're not there.
First, you need to create a map of her daily movements. One or two days of following her around should be all you need to establish her daily routines. Map them out, with times and other pertinent details. Google Maps can help with this, plus the satellite aerial view looks really neat.
Second, make sure you're there whenever she's there. The best places to get noticed are places like Starbucks, a bank line, or an alley she passes by. But, always remember, play it cool. These "engineered coincidences" will be seen as either "fateful" or "creepy" depending on how you handle it.
Third, make sure you're doing something "cool" when she notices you. Be reading a cool, semi-pretentious book. The Fountainhead. Fahrenheit 451. 1984. The Metamorphosis. Remember: if she can't see the cover, she won't know the book is cool! So hold it up high as you "read". Another possibility is to be involved in some kind of "physical activity". Don't worry, you don't have to actually exercise, with the right clothes and equipment you can make it look like you just finished "mountain biking" or "jogging". Please note: you will need a bicycle in order to make it look like you just finished "mountain biking".
How to Get a Date
This is a large stumbling block for the average geek, but never fear! We will walk you through it.
One thing you may want to consider is your own self-image. You have to be comfortable in your own skin if you plan to woo a lady. Comb that hair, use some eye drops. How are you dressed? Dirty Adidas, a black dragon t-shirt, gray sweatpants? That will never do. Put on actual pants, and add a snappy suit jacket. Now instead of looking 'scrubby' you're a 'hipster!' That will increase your chances of scoring a date by at least 35%! Now, roll for THACO.
So, now that you're ready, think about where and how you're going to find a girl. Some women go for the direct, forward approach. But it's hard to tell which girls are into that sort of thing. We do not recommend that you wander around aimlessly, asking random women if they want to go get a burrito and then see the newest Tony Jaa movie. We had very little luck with that approach, but, as we're both over thirty, your mileage may vary.
So you should try and ask out someone that you have a pre-existing connection with. Do you know any available females? Or do you only know available females who "don't like you in that way?" Perhaps a classmate or a co-worker? Well, give up on that. No matter how many uncommon MTG cards you leave in their desks, your chances of them reconsidering is slim to none.
Buying a Gift for a Girl.
If you have a Valentine's Day date set up with a girl, it is appropriate to bring a gift.
Wait. Stop right there.
We know what you're thinking.
You're thinking those two words that pop into every geek's mind at the thought of buying a gift for someone else.
But we're telling you, right here, right now, do not go to Best Buy.
Just don't.
Trust us.
There are other, more appropriate places to shop and more appropriate gifts to buy. Please refer to this handy guide:
You've only been dating a few weeks: Flowers.
You have two options here. Bring her flowers on the date (something nice, you can probably even find something at your local grocery store) or send the flowers to her work during the day. Not an appropriate move before a first date, but after that? You're going to look smoother than Lando Calrissian.
You've been dating a few months: Candles or lotions.
There's a store in the mall called Bath & Body Works. It's usually not far from the EB Games. Just pause for a second before heading in to the EB to see if they have Wiimotes and look around real quick. You should see it. Go in and repeat the following to one of the women working inside (write it down if you need to): "Hello. My name is ______. I need to buy some lotion or candles for (only use one) my girlfriend/date/companion/Real Doll. What would you recommend?" The store employee will take it from there.
You've been dating less than a year: Clothing.
DO NOT BUY HER A T-SHIRT. We don't care how cool looking the Jack Sparrow shirt is or how much she likes Legolas. If you find yourself shopping for clothes for her in a Hot Topic, leave immediately and go to a real clothing store. The real clothing stores are the ones with names like "Macy's" or "JCPenney" or "Lord & Taylor." The mall directory will show you where they are.
You've been dating more than a year: Jewelry.
Get a necklace. Possibly a bracelet. No Green lantern rings. No Bat-symbol earrings. No Harry Potter themed jewelry. No Lord of the Rings themed jewelry. Get the nicest real gemstone you can afford. Maybe it won't be as "impressive" as a larger fake, but there's no recovery from being found out after trying to pass off a fake. "Oh, yeah, cubic zirconium... they call those 'science diamonds'. They're really cool." One final tip: there's no such thing as "champagne diamonds", those are just shitty looking regular diamonds.
UNACCEPTABLE VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS
Graphic novels: Again: not an acceptable gift for Valentine's Day. Perhaps for Christmas or her birthday, but even then you'd better match up those Buffy trades with some roses or something else. Just graphic novels (or digests, or TPBs) is a little much to lead off with. Perhaps a nice box of chocolates? But if you get her the chocolates (we recommend the Whitman's Sampler) you definitely can't get her the comics as she might get chocolate fingerprints all over the pages. Plan ahead!
Video Games: You want to have plenty of face time with your lady, and as much fun as it might be to rock a long, romantic game of Counterstrike with her... let's face it. Video gaming is too impersonal a way to date.
Also, if she gets too into it, that will cut into your World of Warcraft time. Think about it. You have a dwarf to level up.
Knives or Swords: Nothing says "I love you" like flowers or diamonds. Nothing says "I'm going to stalk you for a little bit, before I stab you forty-two times" like the gift of an edged weapon. And that's even if she admits to enjoying 2/3 of the LotR trilogy. Unless she's a goth, which means daggers only. No axes!
Action Figures: Lets face it. You receive mockery from everyone for buying them. Your parents, your co-workers, your friends, your geek friends... there's no way that a girl will want an action figure for Valentine's Day. You should still buy them for yourself, but get her that Whitman's Sampler. If you go to the right drugstore you can get her the candy, and maybe find some Justice League Unlimited figures! Win win!
Gift Cards or Cash: No. At least attempt to make an effort. And if you get her a gift card to Best Buy... we will hunt you down.
Now, we hear you, we hear you, "My girlfriend's a geek, too! Take your 'rules' and shove them up your ass!" But we're telling you, for Valentine's Day, no girl, no matter how geeky, would rather get a Naruto headband over a dozen of roses. There's plenty of other holidays to buy her that 12 inch Sideshow Legolas.
How to Woo a Woman
Woo, Definition: Acclaimed Chinese film director, revered for his Hong Kong films such as "Hard Boiled" and "The Killer", also known for his lesser US films such as "Hard Target" and "Windtalkers". You do not want to John Woo your lady-friend. Ha ha, that would require quite a lot of slow motion midair gun acrobatics! No, this task is more difficult than avoiding a barrage of Triad bullets. This task involves the human heart. And not shooting at it either!
So you're on your date with the lady and you want to make a good impression on her. What to do? How shall you make her see your inner beauty? Some would have you say that the best way to open a girl's heart would be to listen to her. Take a genuine interest in her life and her history, and ask a lot of questions. So there's a solid "in", and you might just learn something too!
Another thing that impresses a woman is self-confidence. Do you have any? You should! And remember, fair's fair. You listened to her blather on about her education degree and her breast cancer walk and her American Idol tryout...blah blah blah blah blah! Now it's your time to shine! She'll be sure to be impressed by the size of your comic book collection. Be sure to tell her how many long, lonely hours you spent bagging them... and how you could still use some help! And that time you did forty points of damage by the fourth round in that Magic Tournament? You won fifty bucks that afternoon! Now she'll know you're a man of means.
Don't be afraid to talk about yourself. She'll appreciate your honesty. And if you're honest with her about yourself, you'll open all sorts of doors... to romance?
Take Her Someplace Nice
You need to eat, of course, as protein will be necessary for all of the lovemaking you will soon be doing. (Think positive!) But in choosing where to date your lady, there are two things to keep in mind: Conversation or Activity? You must pick one or the other to focus on for an optimal date. Not every potential place of dining can meet both, save for perhaps a Chuck E. Cheese's. We of course, recommend taking her to Chuck E. Cheese's. Not only will you be able to wow her with your Dance Dance Revolution moves (if you have any), but they will also have pizza. And of course, an outside chance of romance in the ball crawl. Another perk of taking her to Chuck E. Cheese's is that the close proximity to children of many ages will show her that you're open to the possibility of having kids, which all women really go for. It's not a bad idea to get that out in the open, especially on a first date. "WOW, I really can't wait to have kids!" Say it often! What could it hurt?
Now, say there is no Chuck E. Cheese's available. That's fine! There might be a Dave & Busters, a Jeepers, or some sort of similar venue that features games, drink, and pizza. Choose a venue such as that, so that your natural abilities will shine. She might want to go to a fancy French restaurant, but shy away from that! All you have going for you is your Batroc Ze Lepair impression, and that's not going to get you very far. At least, not when there's actual Frenchmen about.
SUGGESTION: Have a backup plan! She's not into the Renaissance Faire? Even though it's only open for one last weekend? Well just swallow your discomfort and move onto plan B! Hmm? She doesn't want to go to the Planetarium for the James Bond theme music laser show? When else are you going to get to hear Nobody Does It Better...in laser? Never mind! Plan C! ...so she's not interested in the robot exhibit at the museum of science? Well, maybe this girl isn't the one for you.
SUGGESTION: Your date wants you to select a wine. Reply in your best Dracula impression "I never drink... wine" If she gets it, it means that you can share your love for Gene Colan and Marv Wolfman's seminal Tomb of Dracula. She has no idea what that is? ...you may have made a fatal error.
If she does not get your seventy-year-old film reference, try and play it off as if you were straight edge, which will make you look even cooler in her eyes.
The Soft Parts: How To Survive In Their Presence
Here's a vital tip: GIRLS LIKE EYE CONTACT. It's true! The real world is nothing like the Britney Spears screencaps/FHM spreads/Jim Balent comics you ogle in the safety of your mancave. No, in the real world you are not given the same time in which to ogle the subject of your sweaty little desires. If you fail to meet a girl's eyes, and focus instead clearly upon their heaving bosoms: DATE OVER.
Girls Like Eye Contact. Here's a helpful acrostic to keep you on the straight and narrow:
Green
Lantern
Exudes
Cool.
Because he does. Well, Kyle Rayner did before he went all Ion on us. What the heck is that? After all, Hal Jordan is very smooth with the ladies, yes? He is cool. On your date, you want to be like Green Lantern: Exude Cool.
The Long Walk Back to the Car
Dating can be a nerve-racking thing. Women have feminine wiles and long hair. And the Valentine's Day date can be particularly daunting. But as long as you remember to be the best, most perfect version of yourself at all times, you'll do just fine.
Just don't forget to set your TiVo to record "Lost"!
Read The Geek's Guide to Appropriate Online Interactions.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 09:00 AM
by Mike Collins
Your highly anticipated run on New Avengers is about to start. How did you get the assignment?
As we all know, there was a delay on the plots for Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #3 and I was doing a slowburn projects in the meantime as well as various covers. I got an email from Joe offering me the chance to do New Avengers on a regular basis. They told me while negotiating my deal to move to Marvel that they'd give me the best projects possible, I didn't know they'd give me THE best on-going project ever. 
It's awesome!
Brian Michael Bendis continues to write the book. Were you nervous at all to get such a high profile project with one of Marvel's best selling writers?
I love Brian's work and of course, I'd love to be among his favorite artists to have ever worked with him! I think I am extremely fortunate to have worked with huge superstar writers through out my career and Brian is another golden name on my resume. I did have some hard time getting the plots translated correctly during our first issue but after issue 27 onwards, I think I got the hang of it and I hope I did his writing justice.
With such a large cast of characters to draw have you found a favorite? Anyone you haven't quite gotten down yet?
I love every one of them. But honestly, I guess I find myself drawing Ronin with the least enthusiasm given that the book is just filled with Marvel's Best Characters Ever. I'm overwhelmed really that I get to draw my favorite Marvel Characters and it seems to me that I can stay in this book for ever and be completely satisfied for life.
Understanding that you can't say a whole lot on the plot what can people expect from New Avengers?
Lots and lots of intense action and character driven stories! This is definitely the best work I've ever done in my life.
Your style continues to evolve. Can you talk a little bit about how you approach taking on a new book?
I'm using my Silent Dragon style on this book as it is a bit on the gritty side. I think it's very cross-hatching heavy as opposed to Highroads and Superman: Birthright (two books that I am very proud off) which are a lot more cleaner and more animated. If you really look carefully, it's the same drawing style with a couple thousand cross-hatches thrown in on my Marvel work. I love hatchings as they create beautiful textures and set the mood. It's the most enjoyable part of my work actually as I let my hands go crazy and see little random accidents happen that I leave on the page to really make it look organic and raw.
Though I over-do it sometimes, I always have my handy pen-eraser to knock off excess lines.
Also, drawing a dozen characters per page is quite taxing, but at the same time, I just love drawing faces a lot and it just makes the effort all worth it.
Please explain the art process for your work. Your pencils are colored directly without being inked?
I know a lot of inkers aren't too happy with my current style but I really think it's a worthy alternative to inked work. It may not be as clean and slick, but it also has its advantages such as production speed (Fed-Ex times) and total control (no mis-drawn small faces). I did have the opportunity to work with the industry's best inkers and I love the work we produced together. Dexter Vines, Mark Morales, Rich Friend and Gerry Alanguilan are phenomenal and we've produced the best work that I am most proud of.
I do have some issues with some internet posts about how totally great my work is with inks and how disgusting my work is without inks. I really think there is an agenda embedded in these statements. Seriously, if it's not as good but surely it's not totally crap. If "inkless comics" is really bad, it will die out naturally. No need to bash it and create an artificial fuss. I am not doing digital inked comics though. It's just plain penciled comics and I have no intention of hiding it or making it look like inked.
What if anything can you say about Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk? When do you think the next issue might ship?
I think we are still acquiring all the plots and finishing a lot of issues before we resolicit it so the fans will have nice, continued Damon Lindelof goodness. I do have the plots for issue 3 though!
Between the delay on Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk and your first issue on New Avengers being pushed back a bit because of the delays on Civil War, has it been tough for you?
I would love to have a more consistent output so the fans won't forget me. That's why I jump on every opportunity to do a cover here and there and short stories like Civil War: Choosing Sides. It's tough but I'm lucky to still generate regular buzz on my work. 2007 will be a crazy year for me, so watch out guys!
You've also done some popular creator owned work on High Roads and Silent Dragon. Do you plan on doing more creator owned projects in the future?
I have no plans yet, as I intend to make my indelible mark in the Marvel Universe. I am enjoying my Marvel gigs immensely and I'm in this for the long haul.
Is it difficult living in a different country and working on an American comicbook? How does that process work?
It's tremendously easy and has very little impact on the production side. The Internet makes everything so easy that a guy from California has very little advantage over me except for cheaper phone bills.... but I am more of an email guy, so it matters very little. I can email my pages in minutes.
I would love to be able to attend more comic cons though, so that's the main difference.
Aside from New Avengers you also have a few other projects you are doing for Marvel. Can you talk a little bit about them?
Fallen Son #1 is about half done and coming out soon! This is looking great.
This is a dream come true as well, working with Jeph. We have been talking about working together for years now, even before my time at DC, but circumstances were not for us. He is such an awesomely selfless guy that he even introduced me to some great people who I ended up working with instead of him.
Finally, a whole Jeph Loeb and Leinil Yu Issue!
Anything else coming up from you Leinil?
More New Avengers goodness! I'm very excited and I'm so glad I have a wide audience to show off my stuff.
Leinil Yu can be found online at www.LeinilYu.com.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 09:00 AM
by Pete and EdC The Importance of Being... You Do you know who Louis Lane is? Louis Lane is the never used 'real' name of the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. If you are familiar with CBG (and you should be) then you should recognize him not as a grotesque parody of the much maligned 'fanboy,' but instead recognize him as an example of everything that you want to be!
Excelsior! Marking Your Territory Joining an Online Community First! And yet... You are the first one to see this brand new, shiny thread... Might not a permanenet record of your quickness, attentiveness, and commitment to the site be in order? Try this: post first but do it with a hip, ironic detachment. Any of the following should work...
Selecting Your Arch-Nemesis DoubleThink On Your Toes Dealing with Online Conflict: Go for The Grammar Explain Away Your "Favorites" I Watch Films, Not Movies, Dumbass Adaptations/Remakes/Sequels Adaptations Remakes Sequels I Speak TV Cancellations The Ones With The Parts You Don't Have To Love the Pixels: Your Imaginary Fascinations |
He is indeed fat and slovenly, and does draw the ire and contempt of all who should venture into his path. But in the comic shop, he is lord of all that he surveys, none can topple him from his mighty throne within his lair. And in cyberspace, he is still a force to be reckoned with, not unlike Mjolnir, the mighty hammer of Thor! His sarcasm is both his armor and his sword. His knowledge of all things..."cult" is unparalleled! His court is the internet, his keyboard Excalibur, and undoubtedly his internet messageboard is his kingdom! Which is what you gentle reader/true believer should strive for!
Ah, the foolish loser who posts "First!" in a new thread. Is there anyone lower on a messageboard heirarchy than someone so desperate for attention that they feel the need to simply post that they were first to see a new thread, but have nothing of substance to contribute?
"
Now whoever responds first or the most vehemently, that's who you choose as your arch-nemesis.
1) Claim the links are a joke and you only maintain them for their kitsch value. You're a hip, ironic, modern youth. Of course you understand that porn degrades women! You don't look at porn for it's titillation value, you look at it it for its kitsch value! Some of those sites are full of ironic funniness! Hey, maybe someday you're planning on opening a pop culture/kitshc museum or store. The link to a garage kit resin model of a naked Jadzia Dax would sure come in handy then! Those judegemental bastards have no idea if you are or not. How dare they make assumptions about your character!
Try this out: "The original (book, comic book, video game, TV show) was (great/terrible). I don't see the reason to make this into a film." From there you can insert your own pithy comments on how Hollywood is always out to make a fast buck and doesn't care about art. Be advised, it would be best not to use the "art" argument when discussing the upcoming Jetsons live action film.
This, young Padawan, is where the true Geek gets his moment to shine...critically. How many sequels have been made over the past ten years that have been absolutely terrible? The two Matrix sequels, Bad Boys 2, Tomb Raider 2 and so on. And somehow there is still no sequel to Dune? There is no justice in Hollywood.
Fox has cancelled "Undeclared." Paramount has cancelled "Star Trek: Voyager." Comedy Central has cancelled "Strangers With Candy." Dark Horse Comics has cancelled "Ghost." All with "good reason," ranging from low sales to perhaps low ratings. But this will allow you the opportunity to question the sanity and intelligence of everybody and anything involved in the cancellation of your favorite show/comic book/toy line. Remember, by cancelling your favorite TV show, they have personally insulted you. They are trying to ruin your life!
Ahh, love. Her take charge attitude. Her strength. Her curves. That southern accent. The streak of white through her long flowing hair. Yes, you sure do love Rogue. But is this not the Love That Dare Not Speak It's Name?