IT IS UPON US. This gathering, this confluence of geekery on one of the finest cities in the world. And it's gonna be better than last year, I have faith. I'm talking about the New York Comic Con, the new hotness on the comic convention scene. Last year was a smashing success in terms of demand, a learning experience as far as the con was run, and for me, just an absolute blast. So this year, YMB is offering you EXTENSIVE coverage of the con, from our network of intrepid reporters, editors, staff writers, freelancers, friends, family, and Black Adam.

And to kick off Con Week, we begin with the guide to New York.

GETTING AROUND
It never ceases to amaze how many people have lived in this city for years and have absolutely no concept of how to get around it. It's very simple.

THERE'S A REASON WHY WE'RE NOT THE FATTEST CITY IN THE COUNTRY
Walk. Seriously. You're underground in a subway, stressed out in a car, not really paying attention from a cab. The best way to see the sights in the city is to get out there on foot and gawk. Walking is the best possible way to get around, assuming the trip is reasonable. One thing you MUST remember when wandering the city on foot: STAY TO THE SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK. Nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING irritates a New Yorker more than tourists meandering down the sidewalk, slack-jawed and staring up at the tall buildings, then randomly stopping in the middle of the sidewalk/street like they're the only ones there. If you stop like that, prepare to get mowed down by at least three people who are walking close enough behind you to not be able to get out of the way.

Anyway, Here's a rundown of what you need to know to walk around the city:

When you exit the Javits Center, look straight ahead. That's crosstown, the avenue numbers will be going down. Now look left. That's uptown. The street numbers will be going up. And look right: downtown. The numbers all make sense as long as you avoid lower Manhattan (then you get name streets, and you really need to look at a map).

LEARN TO LOVE THE SUBWAY
The subway is your friend. Granted, the nearest subway will be 8th Avenue (4 blocks east of the Javits Center), but if you want to go anywhere outside of the immediate vicinity of the Javits Center, you'll need it. Metrocards cost $2 per ride, and you get one free transfer between subway and bus. If you're going to be here for the weekend, a $10 Metrocard (which gives you one additional free ride) should be enough to cover you.

CABS
Good luck. You'll get more bang for your buck on the subway, and if it's too short a trip to take on the subway, you might as well walk.

DRIVING
Take a cab.

WHAT'S WHERE IN NYC
If you've got a guide with you, a friend from the city who knows their way around, you'll have no problems. But if you're new in town and you're feeling adventureous, here's a brief summary of Manhattan.

Upper West Side
Up there is Columbia. Pampered rich kids drinking on daddy's tab. On the plus side, here and the village are the only two places you'll find beer pong (the other being the village). On the minus side, there's Columbia kids everywhere.

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Dog crap during the day (Yuppies love their puppies, but not cleaning up after themselves so much), 19 year old vomit after dark. Yes, you most certainly can hold your liquor, sweetheart.

BARS:
I'm partial to The Abbey on 103rd and Broadway. Quiet place, cheap beer, and you tend to avoid the vast majority of the Columbia kids, although they don't really card, so the Columbia kids that are there are usually right around 18. There's also Smoke on Broadway between 105 and 106th Streets, a nice jazz club that'll have a cover every night of the con. And if you're up here and itching for beer pong, check out The West End, on Broadway and 113th.

RESTAURANTS:
One of the many Dallas BBQs in the city is located up here, on 72nd between Columbus and Central Park West (HUGE booze portions). There's also an all you can eat sushi place down the block. Look for the "All You Can Eat" sign. And there's Big Nick's Pizza/Burgers, on Broaway between 76th and 77th. All quality, reasonable options.

SUBWAYS: 1, 2, 3, A, C, B, D

Upper East Side
These people have more money than they know what to do with, so they decide to spend it on $10 beers. It's a nice neighborhood, but it's out of my price range. One positive, however, is this is where they hide a lot of the Red Sox bars.

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Celebrity sightings. A bunch of them live up here.

BARS:
coughcoughSCOREScoughcough. I'm sorry, frog in the keyboard. O'Flanagans, on 1st Avenue between 65th and 66th is a nice little Irish pub, cheap beer, live music, and a decent crowd. There's also coughSCOREScough the Baker Street Pub, which is roughly the same deal.

RESTAURANTS:
I...I think I've only eaten up here in bars. But I think Scores has a buffet.

SUBWAYS:
4, 5, 6

Midtown
This is where the tourists go. Everything's around here. Obviously, Midtown Comics has both locations here, along with Jim Hanley's Universe (technically, I think it's Gramercy, but who's counting?), the BIG ass Toys R Us, chain restaurants, Broadway, and touristy bars and restaurants that are overpriced and overcrowded. I'm not saying to avoid the area, because if you want to catch a show or do some touristy shopping, this is the place to be. But if you don't feel like any of that, if you're in the city for comics, booze and friends, there are better places than Midtown.

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Four Freedoms Plaza in Times Square. And if you want to catch a Broadway show, check out the TKTS booths on 47th and Broadway or (there's another one in a hotel right there). They sell same day tickets to shows at up to 60% discounts. Just don't have your heart set on the Lion King or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, because those are the first to go.

BARS:
Lots. But they're lots expensive. Mustang Sally's on 7th Avenue between 32nd and 33rd is a fun little place, as is the Blarney Rock on 32nd between 7th and 6th Avenues, but beware: there's a Rangers game on Saturday night, and St. John's (BELOVED ALMA MATER) is playing Duke at the Garden Sunday afternoon, so both of these bars will be full during and immediately following both games. A little further uptown is Rudy's, a complete shithole with cheap (and actually pretty good) house beer, a decent jukebox, and a good atmosphere. And check out 44th Street between 8th and 10th Avenues-there's a whole bunch of nice bars that aren't divey at all.

RESTAURANTS:
Even the theme restaurants are gonna gouge you. It's NOT going to be cheap to eat in this neighborhood. If you don't mind splurging a little, Ruby Foo's on 49th and Broadway is very much worth the money. And there's rumored to be a Brazilian BBQ place on 44th between 9th and 10th.

SUBWAYS:
Everything. The entire subway system is designed to get you here. Except the G.

Union Square
Between Forbidden Planet, Cosmic Comics and MOCCA, this place is the NYC comics mecca. You've also got my favorite city movie theater, the good Virgin Megastore, and some good bars and restaurants are all down here. You'll get the full array of expensive to divey, rock to hip hop, and our kind is always welcome.

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Hippies. Hippies in tie dye. Hippies with dreads. Hippies with bikes. Hippies with megaphones. Hippies with messages. Hippies with nonsensical messages. This is where almost all the anti-war protests, anti-globalization protests, anti-NYPD's bicycle policy protests start and or end.

BARS: Wander a little. You'll find a bunch of good ones. You may want to check out Bowlmor Lanes, a half club/half bowling alley, on University Place between 12th and 13th.

RESTAURANTS:
The Blue Water Grill may be my favorite restaurant of all time. Of course, someone else was paying, but holy crap was that food amazing.

SUBWAYS:
N, R, Q, W, 4, 5, 6 to 14th Street.

The Village
Picture the Upper West Side. Now instead of entitled (and drunk) Columbia kids, change them with entitled (and drunk) NYU kids. Add in a healthy dose of bridge and tunnel youths (kids from the outer boroughs, Long Island or New Jersey) and you have the Village.

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR:
Failed reality television wannabes. Pay particularly close attention to the Growing Up Gotti asshats-you'll know them when you see them: vertically striped button down shirts, $200 jeans, white sneakers, unnaturally spiked hair, George Hamilton's skin and a glass jaw.

BARS: Again, tons. For beer pong, go to Off the Wagon on McDougal and Bleeker. There's live music at probably half the bars in the west 4th Street/Bleeker Street corridor. And you can taste the world at the Peculiar Pub, but be aware: the tip is included in the cost of the drink.

RESTAURANTS:
A bunch, but I almost always end up at this falafel place on McDougal Street. Best street food EVAR.

SUBWAYS:
Again, everything. You're looking for the Chambers Street, West 4th Street, or Bleeker Street stations.

The Rest of the City
If you're willing to venture out of the comfortable areas of the city (the number grid), there's probably too much for you. Chinatown has some amazing food (N/R to Canal St.). The Lower East Side has a TON of hipster bars (F to Delancey St. and if you walk north on Essex, you can walk two blocks east or west and find a bar on almost every block between here and 14th Street). Tribeca has The Patriot (E/1 to Chambers Street), with hot waitresses and ridiculously cheap beer.

And shit, if you're willing to leave the cold comfort of Manhattan, Williamsburg and Park Slope have some FANTASTIC comic shops, bars and restaurants (LOVE YOU, BROOKLYN MONSTER FACTORY!), and Queens has an incredibly diverse selection of food. And if you want to go where the geeks are, check out the Beat's NYCC page to find out where the parties are. I think I'm going to try and hit the PCS party on Saturday night. But really, what you should do in a city like New York:

Get lost. Not in the rude, condescending, stereotypical New Yorker sense. But in a nearly literal sense. Go to neighborhoods you haven't been to. Try restaurants you just walked by. When you hear a loud bar, go in. Try it all. It's a great town.