by Pete Goodrich
Thanks to Jesse Farrell, Casey Ontiveros, Wikipedia, and http://snltranscripts.jt.org/ for information and input.

As a youth, I got hooked on Saturday Night Live. I don't think that I am unique in this, I think most people of my generation would have been in the same boat: old enough that we were allowed to stay up late enough for SNL, not old enough to have a saturday curfew past 11 PM. I was lucky enough to 'come of age' right at one of the highest points of SNL's history: the last 80's/early 90's period, with Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, Dana Carvey, and Mike Myers and such all in their primes.

Through the magic of basic cable, I also got tuned into the reruns that seemed to always be running on Comedy Central. The video stores had collections of the best of Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, and John Belushi. This foundation of SNL affection in my youth continued up through...well now. There was the dark age in 1994-95 where the cast on paper was incredibly solid, but the results were all but garbage. But that's kind of the nature of the show. The original Not Ready For Prime Time Players were followed by a terrible cast in 1980-1981, and my revered cast of the late 80's/early 90's was similarly followed by a...well like I said, the cast was solid but the shows were pretty suck.

I don't go out of my way for the show like I once did, but I always keep an eye on it in one fashion or another. And I always pay special attention to those from the cast. Back in the day the funniest movies out there were by guys like Aykroyd and Belushi, Murray, Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, Martin Short. And the SNL to movie thing got big with my generation, with "Wayne's World" hitting big when I was in high school. Oh how I loved "Wayne's World".

But then again, there was...well I once saw a movie called "Feds." A colossally unfunny movie, I only watched because it was on for free (well, HBO) and starred Rebecca DeMornay who most everyone will remember as the hot chick from "Risky Business." Co-starring with her was a woman named Mary Gross, who was also unfunny. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Mary Gross was a former SNL cast member. Or when I learned that Gilbert Gottfried had been on the show as well. And when Seinfeld got big, I was distinctly surprised to learn that Elaine had been on SNL as well, the same time as Gottfried no less!

What the hell?! How can so much good and so much mediocre come from the same source? This is the question that led me to this project here. Through the sterling resources of Wikipedia and my own memories of the show both watched at the time and through many, many hours of reruns I've run down the entire cast list of SNL. No 'featured players' are included unless they got the promotion to regular cast member. And I left out the writers unless they were also performers as well, as funny as Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel are they do not fit the same mold as the others.

This is my own interpretation of the shows cast, not yours. I fully expect people to disagree with some of these choices, and thats fine. We all see talent in our own ways. But I think most everyone will agree with how I've laid things out here for right now, certainly as far as who's a big star and who's lucky to get a spot on VH-1's "I Really Love the 90's!"

Some of the entries have been broken up with '+', '-', or '?' That's to show where I think they're on the way up, down, or questionable. And aside from a couple brief comments, I'm leaving out the deceased cast members. I just don't want to speak ill of the dead. But you know who's legit, and who is not.

John Belushi (October 11, 1975–1979)
Gilda Radner (October 11, 1975–1980)
Charles Rocket (1980–1981)
Footnote for Mr. Rocket: the first SNL cast member to swear on live TV. Also the first cast member to be fired for swearing on live TV.
Danitra Vance (1985–1986)
Phil Hartman (1986–1994)
My own personal #1 ever SNL cast member. Phil could and did do it all, and it's a shame that he passed in the manner he did.
Chris Farley (1990–1995)

A Class:
These are the legit stars only. I don't think I need to really break it down more than that, do I?

A Bill Murray (1976–1980)
OSCAR NOMINATED Bill Murray. Yes, he had a couple dead spots in his earlier career, but you cannot deny that he is the head of the class when it comes to SNL alumni.
A Eddie Murphy (1980–1984)
Ahh, Eddie. The first big star to break out of SNL after the original cast. The first SNL star to have to reinvent himself too.
A Mike Myers (1988–1995)
On a personal note, I really want him to return to the more bizarre, absurd type of film like "So I Married an Axe Murderer" as opposed to "Austin Powers 4: More Dumb Catchphrases."
A Chris Rock (1990–1993)
How can such a funny guy make so many weak movies? But still: he's Chris Rock. He's fucking funny, and between his stand up and his HBO show he's doing just fine.
A- Rob Schneider (1990–1994)
He gets the minus because...well hey. He can headline a movie...that will be universally panned by the critics, and general public. His films will always gross a decent of money...because lots of people smoke pot nowadays. Certainly for the purpose of these rankings he does count as A-list talent, but come on now. It's Rob frigging Schneider.
A Adam Sandler (1990–1995)
He will put asses in the theater seats. That said, I don't know a single person in the world who actually saw "Spanglish."
A? Will Ferrell (1995–2002)
Time will tell. He's doing very well right now (and deservedly so) but who knows what the future may hold? Could be a "Lost in Translation" role for him, could be "Doctor Detroit". I'm not quite 100% sure that he's going to keep doing as well as he has. But then again he's the millionaire actor and I'm just a schmuck on a website.

B Class:
Honored alumni who excelled in their particular casts, yet somehow never made it to that next step. No shame in this, but they will forever be known for what they did on SNL, not for what came after, or before. Also a couple of respected alums who don't quite fit in the other categories, or (through author bias) just deserve to be held up a little higher.

B Dan Aykroyd (1975–1979)
Once, a huge star. Now: He was in that Britney Spears movie. He had a terrible sitcom or two. I won't take this too far, but man...his star has faded.
B Jane Curtin (1975–1980)
Some TV work in the 80's and 90's ("3rd Rock From the Sun" was a decent show, I think) tho I haven't seen her do anything since in quite some time.
B Dennis Miller (1985–1991)
It bothers me that he went so right wing.
B Jan Hooks (1986–1991)
A truly solid performer on the show. I don't know that she had 'it,' which is why I figure she never made the jump to stardom beyond SNL. I reserve the right to authorial bias to put her up here.
B? Dana Carvey (1986–1993)
Ol' Dana here could have (and some say should have) been the next Big Thing to come out of SNL, but the poor guy got sidetracked by a botched heart surgery in 1997 which slowed him up huge, and the guy never got his momentum back. I hope he does in time.
B- Kevin Nealon (1986–1995)
Hes been quiet for awhile (I remember he hosted this late night 'are UFOs real?' catbox of a show for awhile) but is now on that Weeds show that everybody seems to like, and doing well. His tenure on the show alone shots him up to the B list, not unlike our friend... B+/- Tim Meadows (1990–2000) He did a decade on SNL. He did get his "The Ladies Man" movie done, but I saw it and the fact that it did not lead him to new heights in Hollywood...well, yeah. The SNL spinoff machine does not always lead to big fat "Blues Brothers" money. See "Roxbury, a Night at the." I wish him well, but if he never made it farther than a guest spot in a Sandler movie I can hardly say I'd be surprised.
B Ana Gasteyer (1996–2002)
Left the show to be a mom. Good for her. Funny lady.

C Class:
Emerging movie stars/Steady workers: these folks did well on SNL -or were at least in a lot of skits and thusly became recognizeable names in the showbiz. Might not like some of 'em, but we have to acknowledge their success. Or at least their success in keeping regular jobs. Some of them have failed, and spectacularly. Crap sitcoms, terrible feature films, they run the gamut of dubious career choices. This one is a bit of a mixed bag, I admit.

C Chevy Chase (1975–1976)
You do not deserve the good will we gave Aykroyd up above. I saw Snow Day. And I remember the talk show.
C- Joe Piscopo (1980–1984)
You're LUCKY you made it this high. "Dead Heat"... "Wise Guys"... You're LUCKY. But you cannot deny that Joe Piscopo is still a recognizeable name.
C Rich Hall (1984–1985)
He's the 'Sniglet' guy. Listed here simply because he's the reason why I know the name of the plastic tip on the end of a shelace. (Aglets.)
C Jon Lovitz (1985–1990)
Listed with LOVE, Jon. I loved the Critic. But you never should have tried to follow poor Phil Hartman on "NewsRadio". But hey, you had to work. Respect. But there is no excuse for "Mom and Dad Save the World."
C David Spade (1990–1996)
A couple failed sitcoms, a couple weak movies, and one Comedy Central show that may or may not still be on the air. Dude, you WISH you were Rob Schneider. And that my friend...is pathetic.
C Norm MacDonald (1993–1998)
A pair of lukewarm films, and a tanked sitcom. But you're getting another chance thanks to Comedy Central. So you're right here.
C Molly Shannon (1994–2001)
Just starting out in the world of movies. Best of luck to you. You make a great 'best friend to female lead.' But the "Superstar" movie really revealed your limitations, no?
C Colin Quinn (1995–2000)
I think you're funny. I liked your Update. I am alone in this.
C- Chris Kattan (1995–2003)
Corky fucking Romano. You're a poor man's Andy Dick, and Andy Dick is not fucking funny.
C+ David Koechner (1995–1996)
Dude was in "Anchorman". AND "Snakes on a Plane". His star doth rise!
C? Tracy Morgan (1996–2003)
You had your failed sitcom, and you've had a couple unfunny cameos in some random movies. But you get to star in the new Tina Fey produced show on NBC, so your star is on the rise...unless the show tanks, and then you try the sitcom thing again. Only this time on FOX. And sitcoms do so well on FOX, don't they? Don't they?
C? Jimmy Fallon
I fucking hate this grinning muppet, but even I have to acknowledge that the ladies, they seem to love him. Only a couple movies out the gate (one tanked, the Red Sox one did okay I believe) and one Coke commercial makes it tough to accurately gauge where he's going to go. But oh, I do hope it's towards the bottom.
C Horatio Sanz (1998—2006)
I just learned that he left the show. Whenever some fool in Hollywood goes for a retarded remake of "Cheers," look for Sanz to play a Hispanic Norm for one painful season.
C? Rachel Dratch (1999–2006)
I wish her nothing but the best. Dude! She's frigging funny.
C? Tina Fey (2000—2006)
I salute you for taking the leap out of your comfort zone and trying for a sitcom. I have no faith in your sitcom. Fare thee well!

* Class:
Star Class! These folks became stars independent of their time on SNL, to the point that when its brought up that they used to be on the cast, it's a pleasant surprise. Also included here are the folks who had careers before they joined the cast, and their time on the show did more for the show as a whole than it did for their individual careers.

* Gilbert Gottfried (1980–1981)
Debate this one all you want. I think the guy's funny. ...in small doses. AFLAC!
* Christine Ebersole (1981–1982)
I never heard of her either, but apparently she's won a Tony award, and has done very well on Broadway. Point to you, Miss Ebersole. Way to put your terrible, terrible season behind you.
* Julia Louis-Dreyfus (1982–1985)
Where a guy like Jon Lovitz will always be remembeed as 'the guy who used to be hilarious on SNL,' Julia Louis-Dreyfus will always be remembered as Elaine. But she did start on SNL!
*- Jim Belushi (1983–1985)
Apparently old people like that show of his on ABC. Me, I liked him in "The Principal." But I have terrible taste.
* Harry Shearer (1979–1980) & (1984–1985)
* Billy Crystal (1984–1985)
* Christopher Guest (1984–1985)
* Martin Short (1984–1985)
The last four names are four of the funniest people ever. SNL was lucky to have had them all in the same place for the year that they did. I long for a Best of 84-85 collection.
* Joan Cusack (1985–1986)
Always dependable.
* Robert Downey Jr. (1985–1986)
* Anthony Michael Hall (1985–1986)
I always found it to be pretty odd that they hired these two guys for the show in the midst of their Brat Packery.
* Randy Quaid (1985–1986)
You know who's awesome? Randy fucking Quaid, that's who's awesome.
* Michael McKean (1993–1995)
Was he Lenny Or Squiggy?
* Chris Elliott (1994–1995)
* Janeane Garofalo (1994–1995)
There will never be a Best Of for this cast. Both of them were totally wasted. Well, that might be revisionist history talking here. I remember these two from SNL, and I remember them not being funny.
* Mark McKinney (1994–1997)
I freely admit to a massive amount of authorial bias towards this cast member. But then again as much as I love/d SNL, I love the "Kids in the Hall" ten times more.

F Class:
Failed stars: those who left and went nowhere. Or those who just weren't asked to come back. It happens. You get your chance to be on the big stage, and sometimes it never pans out.

F Garrett Morris (1975–1980)
F Laraine Newman (1975–1980)
I was reluctant to put any of the original cast members on this part of the list, just out of respect for them being the originals. But we must be honest.
F Denny Dillon (1980–1981)
If I remember correctly she specialized in playing annoying characters. Post-SNL she was on that HBO sitcom "Dream On" playing the annoying secretary. A lateral move!
F Gail Matthius (1980–1981)
F Ann Risley (1980–1981)
No idea who these people are.
F Tony Rosato (1980–1982)
After SNL he was the voice of Luigi on the "Nintendo Power Hour". More interesting than his career is that Luigi's last name was 'Mario.' Which makes Mario, 'Mario Mario.' Very clever, Nintendo.
F Robin Duke (1980–1984)
I remember one of her recurring skits was playing part of a whiny married couple with Joe Piscopo, called 'The Whiners.' Yes, it was just as good as it sounds.
F Tim Kazurinsky (1980–1984)
Sweetchuck from the Police Academy movies. The years are misleading, I think he spent more time as a writer than as an actual featured performer.
F Mary Gross (1981–1985)
She was on the show.
F Brad Hall (1982–1984)
Fun fact: He married Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Notice something about the above group? Tha majority of them didn't make it past 1981. And I've seen some of those reruns on Comedy Central from back in the day, and these episodes were in fact godawful. Some of these folks managed to make it through another season or so, but on the whole they are the forgotten castmembers. I don't even think they get invites back to the show anniversaries.

F Gary Kroeger (1982–1985)
I remember you only because you hosted this one late night stand-up show back in the day, that was ironically on opposite SNL. Also, you were on Night Court once.
F Pamela Stephenson (1984–1985)
She was a British lady, and I think the only cast member to ever hail from the UK.
F Terry Sweeney (1985–1986)
Did a hell of a Nancy Reagan impression?
F Nora Dunn (1985–1990)
Stood out when she was on the show for refusing to do the show when Andrew Dice Clay was hosting. ...played the mom in the (underrated) cable movie "The Hebrew Hammer." Not much else to add here.
F Victoria Jackson (1986–1992)
Celebrity Fit Club people! The dictionary definition of 'show for has-beens!' And hell, I hated her on SNL when she was on the cast...
F Julia Sweeney (1990–1994)
I heard she had a Broadway show based on her battle with cancer, so I felt bad about putting her down here. But then I remembered "It's Pat! The Movie" and my hatred was reborn.
F Siobhan Fallon (1991–1992)
No idea.
F Melanie Hutsell (1991–1994)
Marsha Marsha Marsha! Marsha Marsha Marsha! Marsha Marsha Marsha!
F Ellen Cleghorne (1991–1995)
I remember she had one of the very first (failed) sitcoms on the (failed) WB network.
F Jay Mohr (1993–1995)
Had a FOX sitcom. A couple movie roles. Wrote a book about SNL that I never read. Largely forgotten.
F Laura Kightlinger (1994–1995)
I wanted to give her a bit of a pass because she was in the original Tenacious D episodes. But lets face it: Laura Kight-what?
F Nancy Walls (1995–1996)
Was on the Daily Show for a bit, and has had a couple cameos on the NBC version of the Office.
F Jim Breuer (1995–1998)
His best role ever was in Half Baked, which says a lot.
F Cheri Oteri (1995–2000)
I never liked her. It pleases me to know that she is reduced to hosting clip shows on the E! network.
F Jeff Richards (2001–2004)
Your only memorable character was 'Drunk Girl,' and in that role you made every other comedian that ever did drag in the entire history of comedy look 3 times funnier. Repetition does not make it funny.

...and none of this is etched in stone. If you'd asked me about Bill Murray back when he was costarring with an elephant, I don't think I'd have been so charitable. Any one of these folks is one hit or one miss away from rising up in the standings. Look at Eddie Murphy, he wasn't doing a good damn thing for years, until he reinvented himself as the funny family comedian.

No, this listing is nothing carved in stone. But it is a pretty good indicator of where people stand in their post SNL careers. I think it's pretty safe to say that folks like Robin Duke and Tony Rosato's careers are pretty much what they are: over. But prove me wrong Hollywood!

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