by Pete Goodrich

LSH #11:

Now I was a fan of this title in the 80’s. Not a diehard (at that time I was still a Marvel Zombie. West Coast Avengers 4-eva!) but this was when the seed for my later Legion fanboyism was planted. That was the original Giffen run, with Levitz as writer; the entire brawl with the Legion of Super-Villains. Brilliant stuff. It got me into the characters. One issue had a huge chart with a rundown of all of the LSH members past and present. And even then at the tender age of nine did I ask “who or what the hell is a ‘Matter-Eater Lad?’ What a dumb name!” And I was and am right. His powers too.

I actually think this is kind of awesome.

But as dumb as the name (and powers) might be, the character himself is another story. Particularly in the pages of LSH #11. Aside from the wealthy Chameleon Kid, Tenzil Kem (M.E. Lad) probably did the best of all the remaining Legionnaires. Now a planetary senator for his home planet Bismoll and holovid star, this opens the door for him to get back to Earth. His holovids are just shills for an intergalactic insurance company framed around bad examples of archaeology, in this case explaining the discovery of the long-lost Batcave for proof that at one time, Abraham Lincoln was several stories tall. Yeah.

Tenzil is actually back on Earth in an effort to get Brek Bannin (Polar Boy) out of prison, where the corrupt Earthgov has been holding him for 2 years on treason charges. One hilarious courtroom scene later and Tenzil does the job. The things they did with Tenzil in v4 are among my favorite ‘funny’ comics out thee, but aside from that this is one of my favorite character revamps ever. One of the goofiest characters ever turned out to be one of the funniest. Just very well done.

The more I think about it, the better his super-power becomes.
Go, Matter-Eater Lad! Gnaw your way to freedom!

Also in this issue we see more of the repercussions of Roxxas’ rampage from the prior issue. Just a couple pages, but we learn (in order) that Roxxas is still on the loose, we then see Roxxas on the loose (and killing doctors), we see Brainiac 5 checking in on his patients (Celeste Rockfish is at deaths door), and then we see that Jo Nah is not actually dead, just teleported deep, deep into the Dominion. OR IS HE?! Well, he is, but there’s a bit of a twist we’ll see later.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES: Multimedia! Movie ads for Quick Change and Darkman (odd that they pimp this movie here when Marvel did the adaptation comic), but the back cover? An ad for Swamp Thing; the TV series. I seem to remember enjoying that TV show. Or maybe I’m thinking of the sequel to the original Swamp Thing movie, which was not very good. The suit looked good at least.

LSH#12:

Three big things happen this issue, two of them being things that are annoyingly left dangling for most of the series.

One: The group organizes, and brings down Roxxas. Well, bring down in that they pick him up after he succumbs to his injuries. Jo Nah (who we see is trapped in some far-flung Khundish outpost…OR IS HE?!) had really beat the crap out of him in issue 10. So the Legionnaires opt for the heroic route, and save his life. The news picks up on the reunited LSH, much to the chagrin of the Dominators on Earth. As this is exactly what they were hoping to avoid, they are understandably upset.

Two: we get introduced to Kent Shakespeare, ex-Legionnaire on the ocean world of Quarantine. Great name, that. He’s doing battle with the Fatal Five’s Persuader (who looks a lot cooler in this dirty future than he did in his original run) in an undersea hospital, and not faring well. In the background we see that the Science Police (and former LSH member Colossal Boy) are unable to intervene.

Three: Celeste is saved from death by the Glowing Green Ball of Mysterious Mystery that we’d been seeing for several issues. Through flashbacks, we learn that she’s actually a cousin of Leland McCauley (intergalactic rich guy, sort of like an evil RJ Brande) and also that Celeste once discovered a dead Green Lantern! The Glowing Green Ball of Mysterious Mystery heals her entirely, and dissipates.

They never come back to that. Not for the remainder of the Giffen/Bierbaum run. Celeste just fades into the background. Another writer (Tom McCraw) brings her to the front of the line for his run, but we’re not getting into that here as I only want to focus on the good stuff of v4. For that matter, Kent Shakespeare doesn’t get a lot of face time in this series either. He’s introduced as a former Legionnaire, gets to rejoin the team in time, and then…they never get into his history for the remainder of v4. Disappointing. One flaw of this title is that with such a massive cast (and massive number of subplots) a few things get left unresolved, or underestablished. This issue brings us two examples, but trust me: there’ll be more.

Fun fact: Kent Shakespeare’s original super-hero name was ‘Impulse,’ making him the first hero to hold that name. Thought I assume he had a ‘Lad’ or ‘Kid’ or ‘Boy’ attached to that at one point. I don’t know, they never get into his past.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES: Another inner front cover ad for Darkman, but there are more house ads than anything else this time around. Lobo #1 for a dollar! And an ad for some run in the Superman books for whatever the hell the ‘Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite’ was all about. I find those three initials distressing. Back cover has an ad for the Atari Lynx, which they intended to be serious competition to Nintendo’s Game Boy Which is to say that it was a failure. The Nokia N-Gage of its day!

Failure!!

LSH#13

Hokay. This is the ‘State of the Universe’ issue, and it tackles perhaps twenty separate storylines. One at a time!

Shakespeare fights and takes down the Persuader. In the background, Gim Allon (“Colossal Boy”) ties to find an excuse to use his old powers again, to no avail. He does hook Shakespeare up with a ride towards Winath, so he can rejoin the LSH.

We see Science Police director Circe take a verbal beating from her Dominator masters. They’re not happy with her. There’s a Dominator battleship hovering in orbit above Earth, too.

After the Persuader’s arrest, we see his old cohort from the Fatal Five Mano apologizing to his boss, criminal mastermind ‘Starfinger.’ I’m sure the Bond reference sounded a lot less dumb in the 1960’s.

Jo Nah is trapped between the Khunds and Dominators. Turns out the Dominators are the ones he actually has to worry about, as they shot the Khunds.

We get a page with Laurel Gand beating the bejesus out of some Khunds. I get the impression this is a regular thing for her.

We get a page of funny with Tenzil and Brek as they try to deal with the repercussions of their trial from 2 issues back. It ends with Tenzil’s powers actually coming in handy.

More from Winath: Rokk Krinn and Garth Ranzz (my spell-check hates me right now) are looking for a new headquarters, we get a bit with Kono and Furball (Timber Wolf, in a heavily mutated form) and Rokk and Shrinking Violet take a moment to touch base about what they both went through at Venado Bay. Flashback issue a-coming.

Epilogue features…Glorith! Who is not dead. Turns out when she rewrote the universe back in issue 5, she wrote herself in as ruler of the planet Baaldur. She and the Time Trapper have one last face to face where the Trapper insists that she needs him to continue to control the universe, and Glorith kills him. It’s a one-sided argument. She leaves the issue fully intending to conquer the universe.

Solid issue. A lot of things get addressed, and this is where the seeds for a number of future storylines are planted. The back of the issue gives us a little text piece that explains further the shape of the universe as it is for that period. The Khunds control most of the universe from past aggressive action (and come back huge in issue #15) with a commanding 32%, another 29% of the universe is unaffiliated, the United Planets has a mere 24% together, with the Dominion closing out the rear with just (Earth) 9% of the universe.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES: More movie ads! For terrible movies! Well, Tom Savini’s Night of the Living Dead remake was pretty good, if unnecessary. But there is nothing good or necessary about the film adaptation of Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift, which adorns the back cover. I say that as a fan of bad movies, too. This was a thing that stood out to me back in the day: “Wow! Comics have movie ads now! People will finally take comic books more seriously now!” …I don’t quite know what led me to that, but that’s what it was. House ads: we see an ad for the classic original Books of Magic, some assorted fantasy comic advertisements, and one thing stands out to me at the end that I would actually like to read: a Superman annual by Chris Claremont and Michael Golden. Claremont at his prime and Michael Golden? I need this annual. Action Comics #3.

LSH #14

More with Kem: this time he and Brek tangle with Evillo; another character from way back in the day. Ahh, Evillo. Prince Evillo, ruler of the planet Tartarus. You can tell from the name the guy used to be a villain. And with a name like ‘Evillo,’ he’s just gotta be from the 1960’s. Well while he is an antagonist in this issue, but he’s no longer a pure villain; having joined the United Planets. He’s still up to no good, trying to rape Tenzil’s sidekick/aide-de-camp Calorie Queen and then exiling Tenzil to his personal realm of darkness. He escapes eventually with the aid of Sugyn (think outer space Viking- another refugee from the 60’s) and ends up freeing all of the other exiles of Evillo’s, basically showering the planet with zombies. I loved every page of it. Go to Ebay.

The original Prince Evillo.
The FUTURE is NOW!

Tenzil’s story ends with him headed to Winath to rejoin the LSH. Other subplots addressed feature Jo trying to hijack a ship out of the Dominion, and back to the United Planets, and Garth taking Cham and Rokk to their eventual new headquarters.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES: More ads for the Lynx, and for the remade Night of The Living Dead. The best thing about that remake? Well aside from the stronger version of Barbara in this: Tony Todd as the lead. That guy’s great. There’s a great house ad (Brian Bolland art!) for the very first Robin miniseries. Tim Drake’s been around for sixteen years as of November. It doesn’t seem like that long, does it?

Next time around: the reborn Legion goes to war! The outer universe! Flashbacks! Dr. Fate Original Recipe!

Read Part 2.

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