by Pete Goodrich

LSH#4
Deceased member Mon-El returns from his grave, mysteriously. He checks in with his lady friend (Legionnaire Shadow Lass) and reveals that the Time Trapper (much like Mon-El thought dead in the prior, Baxter LSH series) was in fact not; and was up to no good. (there’s some other stuff in there with the Trapper and a false relation of Mon-El who are inhabiting Mon’s subconscious, but the hell with that. No one cares, and it’s unimportant in regards to the rest of the overall story) They then go to track down Brainiac-5, supergenius of the LSH for answers.

So a problem here was how the Legion related to Superboy in this post-Crisis, post-Byrning time. As Superboy no longer existed yet was still an integral part of the Legion’s creation , they were in a bit of a bind as the inspiration of the group was no longer in continuity. But then came the one big-ass retcon among the many retcons in the Legion’s long history. And it came in issue 4, which was entitled: “Untitled.”

Enter the Time Trapper. Manipulator of…time, the Trapper reveals (after a fight scene in which the Trapper gets whupped on pretty serious by Mon-El) he’s been pulling the strings the whole time, setting up the Legion to serve his own ends. Now it gets a little convoluted. Here's the rundown:

1) The Time Trapper wanted to rule all of time, but would not have been able to cause of the interference of Mordru. (JSA readers recognize the name as a big ol’ threat, but at this point he was just a generic-ish wizard who wore a hat that even Thor thought was a little doofy.) In fact, Mordru would have ruled the universe for some thousand years had the Trapper not done his thing.

2) In order to get around this, the Trapper created an alternate earth in a pocket universe so that when 30th century man attempted time travel, the Trapper rerouted them al to his own li’l Earth. On this Earth he created “A timeless legend of teen valor,” being Superboy, who then went on to inspire the Legion who then in the future fought back Mordru, Darkseid, and all sorts of other bad guys including the Time Trapper.

So! The Trapper tells Mon-El that if they kill him: their entire timeline will be wiped out as if it never happened. Mon-El decides that while everything the Trapper said might be true: he’s still too much of a dick to be left alone. So he kills him.

A heroic sacrifice that dooms an alternate
reality to 1000 years of Mordru's tyranny.
Nice job!

Signs of the times: can you say ad for Tango and Cash on the back cover? Knew you could! Some fine synergy on Time-Warner’s part. They’re still pimping the VHS release of Batman pretty hard, and we get some house ads for the Atlantis Chronicles, Adam Strange (the Kubert series), and Time Masters; a book I almost bought at Heroes Con this year, but ultimately decided that money would have been better spent on a coffee. I bet I was right.

LSH#5

So here we are, in the new 30th century. Mordru has been ruling the Earth for seventeen years at this point, and the universe for however much longer. (it doesn’t say) Mordru’s Earth is a lot more low-tech than the 30thC we’re used to. He is in fact, a cruel leader as one might imagine. There is a resistance however, one that is seeking a way to change things back to what they were. In the ‘corrected reality,’ a resistance group involving Rond Vidar, Douglas Nolan (known as Ferro Lad in the previous reality before he died) and Mysa (formerly the White Witch of the Legion, now an other-dimensional concubine of Mordru) conspire to restore the prior reality with the aid of Glorith (killing herself for the spell-which they did not mention), another of Mordru’s concubines. And away they go.

It sucks to be Glorith.

We see the switch between a Durlan and a black-haired woman (Phase, formerly of the L.E.G.I.O.N.; a title that is both gone and forgotten) which was the double secret genesis of the LSH. More on that later. Everything goes white again, as we hit the History Eraser Button. The shiny, candy like button.

Signs of the Times: another ad for Tango and Cash adorns the back cover. Even then at the tender age of sixteen, did I recognize the film for the turdburger that it is known as today. We also get an insert for the Clive Barker movie Nightbreed (which I remember as being pretty neat) that ultimately ended up as an Epic (Marvel) comic. A little weird, that. The house ads are all the same, except in issue #5 we get to see an ad for the “Superman/Flash race: 1990.” Which I assume ended with them working together to bring down Mr Mxyzptlk; a name I have just spelled from memory. I am geek:read me roar.

I wish I could pick up the pace a little bit, but there's all sorts of retcons that need to be addressed. Now if you think I missed something important, or just want to discuss the stuff I’ve left out (like the Legion Omnicon info pieces, which are really quite cool) please take it to the forums and we can go from there. As for now: I have 33 more issues to cover.

LSH #6

Back to reality and the main storyline, the Rimbor group has traveled to Tharn, the Sorcerer’s World to try and rescue the White Witch from Mordru. Through the aid of a versatile Probe spy (these things are better than a Mac) Mordru sends them on a magical mystery tour of their worst moments: Chameleon Kid’s death duel with his brother, newbie Legionnaire Kono’s near rape at the hands of more space pirates, Ultra Boy flashes back to his origin, only with the added bonus of his deceased wife Phantom Lass, and Cosmic Boy revisits Venado Bay(the incident where he loses his powers, essentially crippling him), only with his deceased brother added in. This extra detail snaps him to the fact that this reality is false.

We also see that the bestial sidekick known as Furball is actually ex-Legionnaire Timber Wolf, hopelessly mutated after the effects of something called ‘Black Dawn.’ They do not show Black Dawn until both Giffen and the Bierbums are gone from the title, and the final explanation is actually pretty poor considering it took them so long to get to it. I say that as a big fan of the character, and freely admit my geeky bias.

We get an intro to Laurel Gand, a Supergirl analogue introduced to take the place of Supergirl (see previous comment on Superboy related retcons) as she gets ready to fly to the rescue of the above five Legionnaires.

And we also see that as a cover for actually hiring the psycho, Earthgov stooge Sun Boy has hired a PI with the unlikely name of Celeste Rockfish to track down Roxxas. She enlists the aid of Devin O’Ryan (a reporter for the Daily Planet- 1000 years young!) and Bounty, an, er…bounty hunter. More on her later. Both of them actually, as the Celeste character was shaping up to be pretty interesting…until they forgot about her for like twenty issues. They get to Trom (site of Roxxas’ first genocide- you never forget your first!) and hook up with Element Lad.

At this point in the series, I was getting pretty stoked for the all-new, all-different LSH. No more dumb code names, grim AND grittier stories, a bleak and desolate future…yeah, I ate it up with a spoon. It was a new take for the DCU; where the future was always so bright before it was now tarnished and…well, it worked. It wasn’t a cheap invigorating twist like breaking Batman’s back, or turning Hal Jordan evil. It made it darker, but it made sense and it worked without seeming cheap.

In the future, Batman drives a cell phone.

Signs of the Times: Ahh yes, an ad for Batman: Digital Justice. Polygonal! I’ve never actually read this, and I have no intentions of doing so as I’m pretty sure the product as read today would either make me laugh uncontrollably, or just sneer with disgust. I’m pretty sure my phone has better images than this thing did. And on the back cover we have an ad for the mega-hit Adventures of Ford Fairlane. How the Diceman’s star never soared as high as it could have I will never know. And giving us a glimpse of what fandom was before the internet we see a ballot for the CBG 1989 Fan Awards. I forget who won. I forget what CBG even looked like.

LSH #7

Big Fight Issue. Laurel Gand goes to rescue the captives, and does battle with Mordru’s vampiric Secretary of State Vyrkos. He’s a vampire type of character, Giffen uses the shadowy face look that he uses later on little known Marvel character Lunatik. As al this is going on, we see Rokk’s dinner with Mordru. It’s really well done, just a splash page and text detailing both points of view of the principals. It’s just so…adult. Not in the XXX sort of way, but in the mature sense. And not in that ‘mature’ sense either. Just two enemies discussing their plans over dinner. It’s the kind of confrontation you’d expect from Batman and Ra’s Al Ghul, shortly before they throw down with cutlasses. I liked the Rokk/Mordru thing because it showed how far they’d come from their prior renditions as goofy wizard and goofy future hero. Mysa (The White Witch) returns with them as they make course to Winath, to pay respect to Blok.

Also returning to Winath are Jan “Element Lad’ Arrah, Celeste Rockfish, and crew. Best of all, a fake ad in the back dedicated to the Probes, treated just like those old ads for the Apple 2E’s. The Probes promise 1000 words a minute, apparently. It’s done in the style of a Hewlett-Packard ad, or perhaps what Apple used to do back in the day before their current thing with the kid from Galaxy Quest and that one dude from the Daily Show.

Signs of the Times: in the Johnny DC rundown, we learn that Gilbert Gottfried spent some time at the DCU with Scott Lobdell in order to brush up on his comics knowledge for an appearance on the old pre-Smallville Superboy show. That’s a surreal visual. AFLAC! More ads for Ford Fairlane, and an ad with the Crash Test Dummies advocating buckling up.

We feel the same
way about much of
your career, buddy.

Issue #8

We get another POV on the origin of the Legion, but from here we can see exactly where the Time Trapper’s manipulations took place. But it works. As retcons go, it’s not the worst. It builds off of what had gone before and ties it into the editorially mandated restrictions, but while still making it fit. The old origin is the same (three super-powered teens team up to save the life of rich industrialist RJ Brande, he rewards them by funding their super-hero club) but this time it is revealed that Brande was shunted in time from the 20th century through the manipulations in issue 5, as his connection to the 20th century hero Valor (the revamped Mon-El) would influence his decision to aid the Legion.

Basically, Brande survived the Invasion! Crossover and had hooked up with the L.E.G.I.O.N. for a spell, before getting ripped forward in time to found the LSH. He is replaced by an amnesiac Phantom Girl, for reasons…I do not know. Seriously, I have no idea why she had to be sent back in time to match Brande. A later annual sort of implies that it was Glorith's revenge on Ultra Boy for screwing with her plans to control the universe, but I’m actually a little hazy on the 'why' behind the switch. Brande makes sense, but Phantom Girl...huh?

We also touch base with the Legionnaires, who have been sent to the far end of the universe by Mordru, who decided to be a dick about giving them safe exit from his planet. We find out that Laurel Gand has had a daughter with Rond "Second String LSH Associate" Vidar, which promises future problems with Brainiac 5. See, the character is no longer Supergirl, but the pre-Crisis love thang (for she died in the Crisis, thus ending the aforementioned love thang) that she and Brainy had is still in continuity.

A little confusing, I know. But bear with me. Art’s by Chris Sprouse, in what looks like his earliest work. It’s very solid, but not nearly as tight as he would become on Tom Strong, or the recent Ex Machina special. He does a good job of blending aspects of the older 50’s envisioned LSH and mixing it in with a slightly dirtier future.

Signs of the Times: Inside Cover: an ad for the then-upcoming Dick Tracy adaptation, which DC did a comic book adaptation of. Kyle Baker did the art, and it was a million times better than the movie was. Johnny DC brings us news of the impeding Batman/Grendel crossover with Comico, which I believe ended up coming out maybe 7 years after this announcement. It was worth the wait. And inside the book they again pimp the Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Nobody cares now, nor did they then.

It's all good.

Issue #9

Flashback city. The origin of Laurel Gand, who was created to fill the hole that Supergirl once would have been in. It gives her bio (the framing device shows that Roxxas is watching it, to brush up on his enemies) as a young Daxamite, who as a kid managed to destroy an entire Khund army. The rep she earns from this follows her character throughout the remainder of the series, as the Khunds make repeated efforts to track down and kill her.

The style is…well, it’s very much like what I saw of the LSH from the old reprints I’d read. Cheesy. I liked it for filling in the gaps in her character; as in doing so they help fill in gaps in the history of this new Superboy/Girl-less continuity. But while I acknowledge the necessity of such a flashback issue, I wish that they’d done more with the current continuity. And Giffen didn’t do the art so meh on the whole.

Also in this issue: Roxxas learns that Earthgov has sent Celeste Rockfish: PI after him, and he freaks out; thinking that they’d betrayed him. Which…they sort of did. He then learns that the whole crew will be reuniting on the planet Winath, so he sets off for them. And we also see a green, glowing orb of mysterious otherworldly energy floating in space that is also mysteriously headed to Winath…mysterious.

Signs of the Times: Inside cover gives us another Dick Tracy ad. Inside of the book gives us an ad for Robocop…2. Or as an old friend of mine would refer to it several years later “Robocop BOO.” The back cover? “Get yoah ash to Mahs.” Yes, an ad for Total Recall. Arguably one of Arnold’s finest movies.

Issue #10

Roxxas comes to town, and goes to town on the Legion. All of the former Legionnaires are back together, and slowly getting the same idea: lets reform. But the budding LSH reunion is almost obliterated as Roxxas has stealthed onto the planet to do some damage. During his rampage, he finally comes out and reveals that Earthgov is being secretly run by the Dominators, but its to Celeste who he promptly beats into a coma. So you know. Your secret is safe with me! He wrecks them pretty good though. Aside from beating the Space Bejesus out of Celeste (who gets her leg blown off for good measure), reformed villain Mekt Ranzz is beaten and let for dead, mysterious bounty hunter...Bounty is also beaten and left for dead (shot too), Jo Nah is disintegrated after laying a hellacious beating on Roxxas, and Chameleon Kid Reep Daggle gets shot in the head. It’s a heavy issue. After the last two recapfests, it’s nice to bring the focus back onto the main plot. And better yet, to have Roxxas kick the shit out of them. It’s a little impressive seeing how easily the goofy bastard (he's still dressed like Austin Powers...in spaaaaaaace!) runs through the Legionnaires.

We get to see more of that mysterious green orb in space, but just for a second. I think they were going to go with something crazy cool with this, but ultimately pussied out. More on that later too. But best of all the last page gives us a glimpse of the latest returning Legionnaire: Tenzil “Matter-Eater Lad” Kem. He had one of the worst names, and a power granted by some stoned writer; but Legion of Super-Heroes v4 took a lame- even for the Silver Age- character, and made him awesome. One of the best parts of the series as a whole; especially if you’re a Giffen fan like I am.

I swear to God, they
make this guy cool.

He gets his own issue coming up. Join me here next edition, or swing through our forums and we can talk more about this fantastic old series of comic book. If this is all new to you, you missed out.

Signs of the Times: Same movie ads as before (Total Recall and Robocop 2) excepting one for Arachnophobia. Remember when they started using movie ads in comic books? Back then I thought it was the craziest thing ever, and that comics were then due to kick into the mainstream. Yeah. As an aside, the Robocop mini that Avatar had put out? Based on Frank Miller’s original script for Robocop 2? A million years better than what we did get. I wish Hollywood had gone with that instead. And in 1990 you could get 12 issues of a comic by spending between $9 to 21 bucks. Can you believe that?

Read Part 1.

Discuss this article in our forum.