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Welcome to a special one off, never to be repeated even though it pretty much seems to be a rehash of other stuff, Comics Outsider special which peels through the Interweb fanboy chatter and gets to the real meat of the Civil War rescheduling debacle.
Yep, debacle which is latin for "screw up of major proportions, et puella". Its almost as bad as DeBarge, but not quite.
In the interests of keeping the sensationalism quotient high, we will bullet point each piece of truth and salacious gossip, and end each one with one or maybe even six bullet points. For good measure, we will put FACT at the start as well, as everything this week has been checked and double-checked with the most non-lying of Internet sources. And we'll even add a colon, too.
FACT: The original summer event that Civil War replaced was going to be the first ever all musical comic book universe crossover.
FACT: Joss Whedon, who wrote the music for the Buffy musical episode a few years ago was going to mastermind the event.
FACT: Each comic would play a song when opened, like those fancy greeting cards. Each issue of the event would cost $24.
FACT: Neither of the two main creators Mark Millar or Steve "David" McNiven is to blame for this. It is in fact the fault of one Nurse Jane Hernandez of Cedar Rapids, Iowa!
FACT: The art for issue 4 and 5 was complete until someone in Marvel editorial got cheesesteak all over it.
FACT: Joe Quesada has taken to the ancient art of Aroma-Chai where one sits in a bath of sickly sweet tea and occassionally rises to use a stale french stick to rub ones arm pits and that reverse elbow crack!
FACT: Marvel attempted to bribe Newsarama to not run the "Civil War Delay" story. But Matt Brady already had a pair of Iron Spider-Man Underoos!

FACT: Bill Jemas came up with the concept of Civil War after Marvel shipped the first two issues.
FACT: I get the thing with Batman as a grinning psychopath in All Star Batman and Robin The Boy Wonder!!
FACT: Grant Morrison will return to Marvel. He switched back to milk for a while, but friends and close sources say that he really does prefer the powdery substitute.

FACT: Civil War is done. Complete. Finuto. All issues are in the can and this is a huge Marvel PR stunt. After the moaning is over, they will turn around and say that due to their love for the fans and retailers they have pulled out all the stops and flayed the creators mercilessly until all 7 issues of the main book, and 47 issues of Civil War:Front Line are done!!!!
FACT: All issues and crossovers (943 books) will ship on 19th September!
FACT: This is the day in 1960 when Chubby Checker's "The Twist" enters the US Charts!!!
FACT: Chubby Checker's real name is Ernest Evans!
FACT: Chubby Checker headlined the Superbowl XXII half-time show bonanzarooni!!!
FACT: "Lets Twist Again" was conceived and written by a young Bill Jemas!

FACT: Fan Favorite Retailer Ryan Higgins likes Civil War!
FACT: No, really he does!
FACT: Yes, he does consume more DC product than a coke vacuuming Washington resident, but he does like Civil War!!
FACT: Tom Breevort is a Skrull!!

Posted by YourMomsBasement at August 23, 2006 08:00 AM
