by Ryan Higgins and the YourMomsBasement staff

This is it. Civil War #2. The issue where "a Marvel legend makes a decision that will change a life forever". YourMomsBasement had a group of drooling fanboys ask Fan Favorite Retailer Ryan Higgins 20-Odd Questions about the latest issue of Marvel's epic. And the question all of fandom has been wondering about gets answered: "Is Wolverine in this issue?"

1. How's Speedball doing?
Pretty good, thanks for asking! Speedball turned up alive in Civil War: Front Line #1. Sure, he’s powerless and going to jail, but that’s better than being dead, I suppose. Aw, who am I kidding? Marvel is gonna have him raped, beaten, and tortured before being killed in prison. Damn you, Marvel! Damn you to hell!

2. Did Hawkeye get un-killed?
No, The Avengers resident bow slinger hasn’t shown up yet, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he did by the end of the mini-series. Surely, the return of Hawkeye on the frontlines against Iron Man and the government would sway a few heroes to the anti-registration side.

3. How pissed is the Sub-Mariner that his cousin got killed? And as a follow-up question... did Namorita get killed?
All right, I’ll explain this to you again. Namorita? She’s not dead. First, she’s about 50 years old; don’t let that ponytail fool you. Second, she’s like Xena, underwater. She’s a warrior princess! There’s no way that was Namorita that slammed Nitro into the bus in issue #1. There’s just no way. It must have been a Skrull.

As for Namor, well, there’s gonna be a beat-down the likes of which we’ve never seen when Namor gets to the Skrulls home planet, finds out it’s been devoured by Galactus, and then has to fly all the way back to Earth with those little winged feet of his to find the people responsible for Namorita’s abduction and impersonation.

4. How about that guy with the hammer?
Thunderstrike? I’m pretty sure he’s still dead.

5. What about Wolverine? Why isn't Wolverine in this more?
Fear not, Mighty Marvel Maniac! The Feralest One There Is makes a quick cameo! See if you can spot him, True Believer!

6. So, what long term ramifications can we expect to come out of Civil War?
Look for future Marvel solicitations to actually be in two separate books, one for the heroes that go legal and one for those that stay underground. They’ll also have different bathrooms, and segregated buses and schools for Gifted Youngsters.

7. Does Annihilation play into this at all?
No luck, the actually pretty awesome space opera is all on its own. Although it would be pretty sweet to have Ronan come down and accuse everyone. That would teach them.

Hey, who thought they’d see the day when there was a Ronan the Accuser comic, let alone a good one?!?

8. How about Planet Hulk?
Nope

9. I saw in a preview somewhere online that the Prodigy (of the little-loved Slingers team) gets his ass handed to him by Iron Man. What other C- and D-listers get a little face time in this one?
The Falcon. The Young Avengers. Tigra. Some guy named Wolverine. It’s good that he’s in this, I don’t see much Wolverine in Marvel Comics anymore. Remember when a few people liked him? Yeah, neither do I.

10. That New Avengers: The Illuminati special was a direct prequel to Civil War. At what point can we expect Black Bolt to show up and point menacingly at Tony Stark? Because man, I nearly wet my pants when he did that the first time. Black Bolt's so frickin' awesome I just want to crap my pants.

Black Bolt will point on panel 7, page 21 of Civil War #7. Look for some heads to go all explodey.

11. So far, we've seen the return of Black Goliath (but since this is the 21st Century, he's just plain "Goliath;" Ahhh, blaxploitation, wherefore art thou?) and Nighthawk. WTF?!? Why is Marvel reviving heroes from the 70s for this book? And where is Howard the Duck?
It’s all about fans reclaiming their childhood. Millar, Bendis, Geoff Johns, Brad Meltzer, these guys want to write the characters they grew up on. You have the single most important Justice League story in 10 years, and it’s all about the Satellite Era League. Bendis can’t get enough of Luke Cage and Spider-Woman.

12. What kind of fatherly advice does Iron Man give Spider-Man in Civil War #2? And shouldn't Tony only be, at most, ten years older than Peter? Does that make the "father thing" kind of... weird?
Tony says, "Peter, let me share with you the one piece of advice that helped me form a multi-national, multi-billion dollar corporation and saw me through the Kree-Skrull War, the Secret War, the second Secret War, the Infinity War, the Armor Wars, that time I was a teenager again, Heroes Reborn, and the Clone Wars (by the way, remind me to get Lucas fired from his own company)."

"Pete... son... always remember to cover lil' Thanos with his Infinity Gauntlet when you're hittin' it. If you know what I mean."

13. In the first issue, Captain America stole an airplane. Does he steal anything cool in this issue?
Dude, Cap steals a S.H.I.E.L.D. prisoner transport! Oh man, he totally kicks some guy out the door! It was sweet! The only question I have it, when did the Ultimate Cap transport over to the 616 Marvel Universe? Wait, let me guess. With the underground team he’s putting together, Ultimate Captain America plans on building a giant dimensional tuning fork out of the discarded disco outfit of the Beyonder and destroy every alternate Marvel Universe until he finds the “perfect Earth,” right? I can’t wait until they show Earth 952, the Earth where the Fantastic Four become the heralds of Galactus, or Earth 3123, where Aunt May was bit by a radioactive spider!

14. So in Civil War #1, we see Daredevil appear in the meeting of heroes when they talk about how to respond to the registration plan. Joey Q has already said that what's going on in the Daredevil book (namely, that Matt Murdock is in the pokey) is happening at the same time as Civil War. And there's an imposter Daredevil running around in Murdock's book, too. So, what gives? Someone else is clearly wearing the red tights, but who? Did Matt Murdock hire some hero to stand in for him?
I’m telling you, it’s Bullseye. Or Foggy Nelson. But probably Bullseye. Or maybe Ronin. Although, Wolverine is a good bet.

15. I like it better when there's more Wolverine in comic books, instead of less. There's entirely not enough Wolverine in Civil War. Why does Marvel hate Wolverine so much?
Do you want to know just how much Marvel hates Wolverine? They made him stop smoking. All those kids that go see X-Men 3 are going to read the comics and be all, “Hey, why isn’t Wolverine smoking? Who’s this loser? Doesn’t Marvel know that cool people smoke” Way to go, Marvel.

16. Where's Nick Fury?
Nick Fury is underground, but I think he’s lost on an island somewhere. I mean, look at the clues! “Fifteen supervillains.” Number of newspapers shown? Four. They picked up the Young Avengers on “23rd Street.” “These kids are what? Sixteen years old?” The mysterious Forty-Two disc? S.H.I.E.L.D. Safe-House Number Twenty-Three? C’MON! Mark Millar isn’t even writing this! It’s all ghost-written by Damon Lindelof! Why do you think Ultimate Wolverine/Hulk is so late?

17. Who's on whose side?
I’m sure as the series progresses and the lines become a bit clearer, we’ll see a much bigger split, but as of right now, there’re only a few heroes on Cap’s side.

18. How's it breaking down among the superhero community? Do the choices seem to make sense?
I guess the choice of “Join us or get the spit beaten out of you” is a good motivator, but it just doesn’t seem natural yet. Look, if Iron Man is standing there, telling me he’s right, and Captain America is underground, fighting, I’m sorry, I’d be with Cap in a split second. Who’s more trustworthy; a drunk, billionaire playboy, or A MAN THAT WEARS THE UNITED STATES FLAG FOR A COSTUME and is still standing up against government laws? It’s no contest. Sure, sure, some people are loyal to Tony Stark, but it’s just so hard to believe the majority of heroes would be for registration.

19. And what the hell is a "futurist"?
A “futurist” is the SINGLE DUMBEST PLOT DEVELOPMENT IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Seriously, I really liked the Illuminati One-Shot until Bendis came on screen in an Iron Man suit and explained the entire plot of Civil War to the readers, like we were 10 years old. Hello, Mr. Bendis! Kids don’t read comics, duh!

20. So... Amazing Spider-Man #532 ends with Spider-Man about to make a major announcement to the press after debating all issue about whether or not to reveal his secret identity. The solicit to Civil War #2 stated that "a Marvel legend makes a decision that will change a life forever" and that "this issue features one of the most shocking climaxes in Marvel Comics history". Is there anything you want to tell us?
I suppose I could tell you what happens, but Marvel might start making threats. Look, if you’re going to have a major change in your most popular character of all time, whatever you do, don’t release a preview book that completely spoils it. How hard is this to do? I mean, who was fired over this? Someone had to be. I’m not calling for someone’s head, don’t get me wrong, but in Kirby’s name, why would you ship any book that says “Civil War” on the cover in a preview pack?

All I can say is this: it’s exactly what you think it is. And it’s the biggest mistake in the history of modern comic books.

But that’s a topic for another column.

Read 20-Odd Questions: COMIC BOOK CREATORS.



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