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by Mike Collins
Overcrowded.
I've been to a few big cons before but I've never seen anything like this. From the moment I arrived at the Javits Center I could tell that there were a lot of people there. There was a lot of confusion at the entrance as to where you were supposed to go. I had bought a ticket a month ago to avoid a line getting in and was promptly sent into the wrong line to register.
After about twenty minutes someone on the staff asked if anyone had a ticket already. Those of us that did were given bracelets and told to go into the show. It just seemed disorganized for such a big convention.
The actual show floor was smaller than I expected. D.C. was the first big booth when you enter. Lots of nice banners hanging from the ceiling, lots of preview books to take a look at and lots of staff.
Marvel's booth was off to the right of D.C. Really crowded and not much to look at. They did have a huge display case with all of their upcoming action figures. Marvel's Jesse Falcon was on hand talking to the fans and answering questions. He seemed like a nice guy and even had surveys for fans to fill out. It was good to see Marvel actually attempting to listen to what their fans were more interested in seeing.
The aisles were small, maybe six or seven feet wide with tons of people jammed in. It's great to see such enthusiasm for a comic show in New York but it was so crowded you couldn't get into a booth to look at anything without pretending to be Indiana Jones dodging onrushing boulders. Retailers couldn't have been happy to have so many people on the floor that you couldn't stop to shop.
Artists Alley wrapped around the back end of the floor and was honestly too crowded for me to even walk through. I wanted to try and meet David Finch but I couldn't figure out where he was supposed to be. I did see several creators including Michael Oeming and David Mack signing boatloads of things for fans with smiles for everyone.
Frank Cho had a prime spot in the back but each time I walked past his space he wasn't there. He probably got stuck outside like everyone else.
The panels I attended were entertaining. Say what you will about Joe Quesada but in person he comes off as a genuinely nice guy. When he opens the floor up to questions in each panel he will answer any question asked of him. Fans may not like the answer but he does answer. His running joke throughout the day was the apparent demise of Speedball, going so far as to have presentation slides made up to continue the joke.
At the panel for Ultraviolet, Milla Jovovich absolutely had a good time with the fans. She took some questions, gave a few hugs and sang Happy Birthday to someone's brother. She came across as a stunningly beautiful, hyperactive kid. I had read somewhere that she could come off a bit cold. Not yesterday. She delighted the people at her panel.
I'm not a big fan of D.C. comics but I am now a fan of Dan DiDio. When the lines were at their worst and people were stopped from returning to the show floor, DiDio walked the lines handing out pins and talking to everyone. He made a point of thanking everyone for coming and for being fans of the medium. He did a better job of calming angry fans down than the show's staff. Dan is a great spokesman for comicbooks.
Despite the headache of the crowds I had a good time. I got to see some panels covering books that interest me and found out about some new ones I'd like to give a try. The con showed that fans would really come out and support a big show in New York. It's just a real shame that the event organizers so severely underestimated the number of people who would be attending. I hope they get the kinks out and have a much more successful show next year.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:30 PM
by Mike Collins
Cup O' Joe
Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada opened the panel by welcoming everyone and talking about how happy he was to finally have a large scale show in NYC. With that he dove right into the topics of the morning.
Quesada announced a partnership with Top Cow which will allow Marvel to use some of their artists on Marvel properties. He showed several slides done by Tyler Kirkham who will be working on Spider-Man.
The announcement that Marc Silvestri would be penciling a Marvel book later in 2006 drew loud applause from the crowd in attendance.
Quesada then talked about the work being done by Ed Brubaker on both Captain America and Daredevil. He feels both titles are some of the best things being written for Marvel currently.
The new creative team on Iron Man are HBO Carnivale writer Daniel Knauf and outgoing Cable and Deadpool artist Patrick Zircher. Quesada promised that with the new team the book will once again ship monthly.
The 2006 Free Comic Book Day offering from Marvel will be a Runaways/Wolverine book drawn by Skottie Young.
Quesada took a few minutes to joke about the outrage over the seeming demise of both Alpha Flight and the New Warriors.
Stephen King's Dark Tower will begin to ship in 2007 and artist Jae Lee is currently working on the book.
Skottie Young was announced as the replacement for the recently deceased Seth Fisher on the next Fantastic Four limited series Fisher was scheduled to work on. Quesada spoke eloquently about losing such a talented artist at a young age.
Ultimates 3 will ship sometime this fall. Quesada mentioned how happy he was to have lured superstar artist Joe Madureira back into comics.
Peter David is writing a new Wonder Man mini series as well as continuing to write X-Factor.
Finishing up the announcement part of the presentation, Quesada announced that Ron Zimmerman was currently working on a pitch for a new Rawhide Kid mini-series and that fans will see more of the Inhumans later this year.
X-Men X-Changes
This panel featured Joe Quesada, Mike Marts and Chris Claremont among others. The focus was on the coming changes to the X-Men lineups and some new titles.
Joss Whedon and John Cassaday will take Astonishing X-Men monthly as of September.
John Watson was announced as a new cover artist for some of the X-Men titles including Ed Brubaker's Uncanny X-Men run.
Wolverine: Origins will follow Logan's search to uncover all of his memories. Marts spoke of how impressed they were with the stories Daniel Way has been handing in.
Marvel will release an Uncanny X-Men annual this year featuring Storm. It is written by Chris Claremont and drawn by Clayton Henry who Quesada said will be doing more work for Marvel in the coming months.
Dennis Callero was announced as the new artist on X-Factor replacing Ryan Sook. Callero will remain on the title through at least issue #6 to keep the book on a monthly schedule.
C. B. Cebulski is writing a new series titled X-Men: Fairytales, which seems aimed at younger readers.
Chris Claremont takes over the writing duties on Exiles with issue #84. He is bringing Psylocke along with him. The current artist will remain on the title.
Claremont will also be writing GeNext, a title chosen by fans in a poll. Claremont said the idea for the book is "What if the X-Men aged in real time?". The book will follow what he called the fifth generation of X-Men characters. The title debuts in June.
Simone Bianchi will be doing some painted covers for selected X-Men titles.
Chris Bachalo's character designs for his upcoming run on X-Men were shown. Aside from Rouge and Mystique, the rest of the characters shown were all new.
Marvel's Civil War
This panel was attended by Joe Quesada, Brian Bendis, Editor Tom Breevort, artists Steve McNiven, Ramon Bachs and Dexter Vine. She Hulk writer Dan Slott was also on the panel.
The presentation began with a rough cut of a trailer for Civil War that will be seen online shortly. It gave a brief view of what is to come in the book and was very well received.
Quesada said that Civil War kicks off with the current issue of Amazing Spider-Man featuring the debut of the controversial new Iron Spider-Man suit.
Bendis said that the soon to be released Illuminati special lays the groundwork for much of the story.
Dan Slott announced that worried fans of the New Warriors should pick up She Hulk #8 to find out what's next for that team. He also mentioned that the issue is a huge change to the character's status quo. Fan favorite artist Paul Smith will be the new ongoing artist on the title.
Quesada and Bendis both stressed that Civil War will have long lasting impact to the Marvel Universe and that the shockwaves will be felt for a long time. The current team in New Avengers will change. Bendis said "no book will be more seismically changed than New Avengers when the series concludes.
New Avengers will have an arc called "New Avengers: Disassembled". It will run five issues following a different character through Civil War. Each issue will be drawn by a different artist.
Captain America: Howard Chaykin
Luke Cage: Leinil Yu
Spider-Woman - Adi Granov
Sentry - Oliver Copiel
Iron Man - Jimmy Cheung
Young Avengers goes on hiatus during Civil War. It will be replaced by the Skottie Young penciled "Runaways/Young Avengers".
Civil War: Frontline is a ten issue series shipping bi-weekly. The creative team is Paul Jenkins and Ramon Bachs. Quesada called the title a "travelouge to Civil War". This title will cover events throughout the Marvel Universe that aren't covered in the Civil War limited series.
Quesada promised readers that the story will be editorially balanced and will not favor either side in the conflict but show the struggle both sides will have to deal with.
The Civil War will leave the X-Men titles largely untouched but will have their own four issue mini series that follows the storyline from their perspective.
Bendis teased readers that they will see a return of Clint Barton aka Hawkeye.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
by Jim Dandy
The New York Comic-Con is coming up this weekend, and the show’s Director, Greg Topalian, was kind enough to take a few minutes out of his incredibly busy schedule to give YourMomsBasement an exclusive look inside the planning of such a mammoth undertaking.
Greg, thank you so much for answering our questions. What made you decide to bring a big con to New York City?
It was recognizing the void. NYC is the media and publishing capital of the world and it didn't make any sense that there wasn't a major pop culture show in this market.
What kept the big ones away from the city for so long?
I think its really 2 things. Venue and cost. It's nearly impossible to get dates at the Javits Center, and it is far more expensive for an organizer to run an event in New York.
How far in advance do you start planning a convention like this?
The concept of New York Comic-Con is 2 years old but we started actually working on it 12 months in advance.
What has been the hardest part of organizing the event?
The Con is really several shows under one umbrella. The hardest part is building events and programming that appear to the Comic, Anime, Gaming, TV/Movie fan base.
Marvel and DC have been very supportive of your efforts. Did you expect that? Has their support made it easier to pull it off?
They have been incredibly supportive and it has made all the difference. In fact, from the very beginning the entire community has been behind us and wants to see a show succeed in NYC.
How do you decide on the panels? Do you have an idea of what you want or do the companies come to you with what they have?
A little of both. We have a programming team and several people from the industry that act as an advisory board.
While you certainly don't want things going wrong, you do have to plan for many different possibilities. What kind of contingency plans do you make in case something does?
You always need to consider all options, especially on a first year show. We are most concerned with crowd control and are prepared for many different scenarios.
What's the most ridiculous request you've gotten from a vendor/exhibitor/guest?
I believe there was a question about the use of body paint on booth personnel.
At what point does the con end for you? What do you still have to do once everyone else has gone home?
Once the show is over on Sunday we stay on through Monday to make sure it all gets moved out. It takes a whole year to build and only a few hours to tear down.
What part of the con are you most excited about?
We have some amazing Movie screenings. Some that have been announced and some surprises as well.
Thanks again for taking the time to talk to us. See you Friday!
No problem. And make sure you swing by the Ultraviolet Presentation and Q&A on Saturday evening. Milla Jovovich is going to be answering some questions for fans. We're very excited about it.
Stay tuned to Your Mom’s Basement all this weekend for extensive in-depth coverage of the New York Comic Con.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
(Reprinted with permission from Newsarama.)
A unique feature of this medium of comic books is how often we like to explore “alternative timelines” – variant "dimensions" and "universes" that deviate due to a singular event, causing ripple effects that change the entire world.
In such an alternative universe, perhaps a young writer with the familiar last name of Loeb – in this case Sam – follows up his first published work in Dark Horse’s Tales of The Vampires #5 with a one-shot issue of Superman/Batman #26. On the strength of that work he is assigned his first limited series, and then eventually an ongoing series. Perhaps in short order the comics industry finds its next Eisner winner, familiar name to the pages of Wizard and Newsarama, and fan-favorite panelist at the San Diego Comic-Con.
But that’s just an “alternative timeline”. In June of 2005, seventeen year-old Sam Loeb, son of comic book writer Jeph Loeb, died after a three-year battle with cancer.
By all accounts Sam lived a remarkable life for such a young man, touching the lives of just about everyone he came in contact with. And in April, DC Comics and a host of superstar creators are giving comic book readers a small glimpse into who Sam was and what he might have been, as 26 of the biggest names in comics lend a hand to finish a special story Sam wasn’t able to complete before his passing.
Superman/Batman #26 isn’t just a glimpse at the kind of comic book writer Sam Loeb may have become, but the way so many people who knew him have rallied around this special project, for those of us who didn’t know him it serves as a glimpse at the person he was, the mark he left, and at the limitless potential that the world lost with his passing.
More on "Sam's Story" at Newsarama...
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
by Mike Collins
YMB: You first gained recognition with your work for Vertigo. What is it about that imprint that seems to draw in very creative writers and artists?
Carey: I think it's that Vertigo has always been a line where you could take risks and follow up wild ideas. Having said that, obviously I'm best known for writing a sequel to one established Vertigo title and a three-year run on another, which in itself isn't exactly ground-breaking. But I think what I was doing in Lucifer would have been very hard to do anywhere else - and a book like My Faith in Frankie was pure Vertigo in its bizarre conjunction of humour and fantasy.
Vertigo has also proved to be very successful indeed at spotting and developing new talent. It's certainly been a proving ground for the best that the UK has to offer, repeatedly identifying great writers and artists and giving them their first outings. It's hard to think of any British writer of note who hasn't cut his teeth at Vertigo - and it's noticeable how many people now writing core DC and Marvel titles have a Vertigo series in their background.
Part of this just comes down to a great editorial team. Some of the best editors I've ever encountered have been at Vertigo, and they seem to have a very strong team ethos there - a very strong commitment to what they're doing.
When you first began writing Lucifer was there any hesitation? You're creating an epic about Lucifer Morningstar, aka the Devil. I can imagine there might be some concerns about the stories you might be able to tell.
Concerns about whether the pitch would be approved, yes - not about the story itself. The Lucifer book isn't an advocacy for Satanism or a sustained attack on religion, although it does explore the mechanisms of belief and the place of belief in our lives. It also looks at some of the central questions of the Judaeo-Christian faiths - questions of predestination and free will, particularly - but not in a one-dimensional or polemical way. I think it's a discourse rather than a tract, an open-ended questioning of these things, and in that respect I'm very proud of it. I never felt any ambivalence about it.
I accept, though, if this is what you meant, that we now live in a time where that kind of approach to religious matters is under threat. A couple of weeks ago the British parliament almost passed into law a bill which would have allowed religious organisations to sue any and all broadcaster, commentators, stand-up comics and comic book writers for material which they felt was abusive or disrespectful of their faiths. If it had gone through with its original wording intact, I'd have been a sitting duck. There's been a rise, over the past decade, in the kind of unexamined faith that can fairly be called fundamentalist, whether it's Christian, Muslim, Jewish or whatever: unexamined faith is a bad thing, in my book, and it disturbs me to see it becoming such a large and central force in the society I live in.
In light of the proposed bill you mentioned, what is your take on the huge uproar over the Danish political cartoons that have outraged Muslims worldwide?
I'm with the free speech brigade on this one. I think the cartoons were unfunny, fairly crude and woefully clumsy in the point they were making. I also agree that they were offensive. But there ought to be complete freedom of expression so long as you're not committing or inciting a crime. The freedom to speak inoffensively, as someone else already said, is no freedom at all. And similarly, all Muslims who feel themselves offended have the absolute right to express their indignation and to take part in a public debate on the issue. That's how the system ought to work. You don't win arguments by stifling debate, or by threatening to kill people who disagree with you. Most people on both sides of the issue accept this: unfortunately a few rabid radicals in the two camps have stolen all the headlines as usual.
It all reminds me powerfully of the Salman Rushdie affair, when an Iranian imam declared a fatwah on Rushdie after the publication of his novel The Satanic Verses. Then, as now, instead of defending the principle of free speech the UK government of the day made a lot of twittering noises about religious sensibilities and responsible use of civil liberties. I mean, on the one side we have satirical commentary, and on the other we have threats of murder. I know which one offends me.
I've seen you talk about Lucifer's quest for autonomy being similar to a struggle between a growing child and his/her parents. Can you expand on that idea a bit?
This is the way it's always struck me. You reach a point in your life where the most important thing is finding out who the hell you are, and for a lot of people pulling away from parental influences is part of that. Whether you love your mum and dad or hate them, you rebel against the parent inside you: the part of you that has its origins in them, the ideas and attitudes and behaviours that you absorbed from them. It may not last, but I think for many of us there's a phase where you define yourself in antithesis against your parents just to find out, by a process of triage, where your own space is.
For Lucifer, that dilemma presents itself more starkly than for an ordinary man or woman. His father is omnipotent and omnipresent: everything he is and everythng he does has already been foreseen and included in the divine plan. So where does he go to find ground that's his own to stand on? He's on a quest that's tragically - or maybe tragi-comically - doomed to failure, because his very rebellion is already something that his father has anticipated and turned to his own ends. Whatever his goals, he must be doing God's will and so he can't ever escape from his position as a made thing. He wants to be his own author: he can't. We all go through it, but for him it's a situation without a remedy.
You're approaching the end of your run on Lucifer. Looking back what are the high points for you? Any regrets?
I think we've been on a sustained high for about a year now. The whole of the Morningstar arc came out as well as I could have hoped, and built to what I thought was a really satisfying resolution. Now in the next five issues we're giving all the charcters their codas, their nunc dimittis, and I've really enjoyed being able to do that: there are a lot of emotional beats that we've hit in these final issues which we haven't attempted elsewhere in the series and which have surprised us by how well they've worked.
Looking at the series as a whole, I think a lot of the one-off stories were high points for me. The centaur story in #24, the Gaudium one-off in #28, Zim'et's tale in #33, and more recently The Eighth Sin and The Yahweh Dance - they were all unique and distinctive pieces that enriched the big tapestry. In terms of longer arcs, I was very happy with what we achieved with Stitchglass Slide and Wire, Briar, Limber Lock - the interweaving of all those strands into one narrative framework. And I like the quest story, Naglfar, a lot - because what Lucifer is trying to do in retrieving Elaine's soul is about as ludicrous as you could imagine, but it tells us everything we need to know about his concept of honour.
I'd like to ask you about the comics adaptation of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. How did that project come about?
Basically I was invited to pitch, and I said yes. Jon Vankin called me up and told me this project was on the table, and Neil had suggested me as one of the people who might be approached. I like the book a lot - it's probably my second favourite Gaiman novel after Coraline - and when the prospect of Glenn Fabry doing the art was raised it was very hard to say no. So we talked about how I might go about adapting the story for comics, and what the parameters were, and then we brought Neil in on the discussion and he had some ideas and suggestions too, and it all came together really fast. As with Lucifer, Neil is very flexible and open-minded about most of the things I come up with, and he's honest and straightforward about the things that he doesn't want to have changed, so adapting his work has always been a pleasure for me.
Neverwhere has been both a television series and a novel. What were the challenges in adapting it again for a third medium?
The biggest problem is how to handle dialogue. You just can't be as expansive with conversations in a comic book as you can in a novel: you have to be really ruthless. There were so many great lines in the book, and some of them we agonised over for a long time, but we usually found ways to hit the same beats through on-panel action, visual juxtapositions and so on.
Probably our biggest departure from the source material was a structural thing. There's a point halfway through the book where the main characters meet the Angel Islington through a device called the Angelus: and then they meet him again at the book's climax. Both of those meetings are very important, and very necessary scenes. But I wanted to handle the first of the two meetings in a different way, so that the final scene would in its turn be set up differently. And I couldn't think of any way to do it, at first: but in the end I had a flash of inspiration, and I think what we've got is a take on those two scenes that works better in a visual medium like comics, where the novel's version is more suited to prose. Sorry, that was very vague, but I didn't want to include any accidental plot spoilers.
Oh, and we did Down Street differently, again because we were working in a visual medium and I wanted a setting that would really surprise and disturb people. Down Street is a real place, of course, and in the book that's where Richard and Door ultimately go. Our Down Street is a sort of imaginative reconstruction.
Are there any plans for a continuation of the Neverwhere story beyond your adaptation?
Not as far as I know, or at least not with any involvement from me. It does very much lend itself to sequels, though. An ongoing Neverwhere series with Fabry on art would be well worth the price of admission...
Moving forward, lets talk about the Wetworks re-launch. It was initially announced awhile back. Was the delay because of this summer's reboot of the Wildstorm Universe?
No, it goes back further than that. When we first started work on the book, Whilce was a staffer at Wildstorm with a lot of different duties, a lot of things on his plate. For that reason, it took a long time to work through the details for our opening arc, go to script and then start putting the book together. Now that he's freelancing again he's been moving a lot faster, and we were able to put the book on the schedule at last. There was another complicating factor which has to do with my own position and some stuff that's upcoming for me, but I can't really say what that is right now.
Aside from Jackson Dane it seems that this is a largely different team. Can you give us some details on who the members are?
Absolutely. It *is* a different team, although the original team are still extant and we do ultimately get to meet them. Apart from Dane, we've got one other Wetworks regular on the squad - Mother One, the cyborg, whose relationship with Dane we really wanted to go back and revisit. There were strong hints in the shorts that Whilce - and then Whilce and I - had done for various Wildstorm books that Mother One was going to be resurrected - and for once we can say that this was always part of the plan. In other words, that the decision to have her on the team came first, and the revelation that she was dead (Dane's discovery of her mummified body) - came afterwards. We've also got Persephone - Red - who was my favourite vampire character from the original series and who I was very keen to use. Then we've got a werewolf named Ashe who comes from an alternate Earth, and a very odd character named Ab-Death (the name is a homage to China Mieville) who describes himself in these terms. "It's best to think of me as amphibious. I can be alive, or I can be dead."
All in all it's been a fascinating team to write. There isn't a single weak link in narrative terms. I should probably also mention a sixth character, a female doctor named Linda Bethell, who isn't strictly speaking a member of the team but who has a large part to play in Mother One's resurrection and who then continues to be important - mainly because we got interested in her story.
Wetworks was originally a book about a strike force taking on Vampires and Werewolves. Will the new title follow the same themes? If not what will you be exploring this time around?
That's very much what we wanted to take the book back to. But without saying too much, the nature of the vampires and werewolves - and the nature of the threat they pose - is a little different this time around.
You'll be working on this with Whilce Portacio, the original creator of the series. What kind of working relationship do you have together?
It's been very open, very two-way, very cordial. As you'd imagine, Wetworks remains a project that's really close to Whilce's heart. He's been wanting to revisit the team and carry on with their story for a good few years. Then I came on board with what I thought was a very strong idea for a vampire-based story that was a little out in left field, and we talked - at great length - about how we could incorporate that into Wetworks continuity and where we'd go with it after the initial story was told. It was a real jam session: very productive, and we got to know each other very well in the process.
Is it a limited series or an ongoing?
Ongoing.
On to the topic of the day. It was recently announced that you will be taking the reins on X-Men in July. Had you been hoping to get a crack at the X-men?
Hell, yes! The X-Men and the Fantastic Four are the two coolest super-teams on the planet.
You've created a bit of a stir with your cast of characters. Can you give some insight into why you went for this particular group?
I was given a clean slate, more or less: I knew that a lot of the team's core members would be somewhere else at the start of my run, so I was given carte blanche to put together a new team around the few extant members of the old one. I chose with one thing uppermost in my mind, which was instability. I wanted a team that had so many tensions built into it that it would be pulling itself to pieces even when it wasn't under attack from outside. That seems to give the most scope from a narrative point of view.
But within that - and beyond that - I picked characters who I thought would be cool to write - characters I felt I had an interesting take on.
The most interesting character for me is Sabretooth. He's a mass murderer, cannibal and overall unpleasant fellow. Are you going to try and redeem him or just turn him loose?
You can't redeem Sabretooth. He doesn't have a conscience, or even a stable enough personality to want to reform. He's a monster, essentially, and we're going to play him as such. There will be ongoing problems arising from his inclusion on the team, but we're not going to flinch from those problems or try to soften his edges in any way.
Since you are getting to play with Cable, is there a chance we might see his maniacal sidekick Deadpool over in X-Men?
Not to start with, because I'd be afraid of what Deadpool's arrival might do to the tone I'm trying to create in the book. But I'm a huge fan of Fabian Nicieza's writing on the Cable and Deadpool book, and at some point if he's cool with it I'd love to give Deadpool at least a cameo.
Will the team be based out of the mansion or will they be on the move? If so, can you tell us at this point where we might see them going?
They'll be in the mansion to start with. As you know, the mansion is a very unstable and inhospitable place at the moment, in a lot of different ways. Tensions are going to arise, and some very significant decisions are going to be made. I can't say more than that, but I will say it all happens early on in my run.
You've mentioned you are going for an epic tone for your run. What kind of stories are you planning on telling?
I'd like to tell stories where readers are surprised by three things: by what's at stake, by the way the victory is won and by the price of it. It's easy to say the word "epic", but epic is a matter of structure first and foremost: you've got to make the build-up a huge pleasure in itself, as Grant Morrison did for example in his Imperial arc. That's the tone and approach I want to take, to put it bluntly.
Your artist on X-men is Chris Bachalo. He seems to inspire strong opinions across fandom. Personally, I love his work and think he's at his best when he gets to play up the oddities of the characters he's working with. How do you feel about having Chris on board?
I'm delighted. Chris is a huge talent, but more than that, if you've been following his work on Uncanny X-Men he's currently at the thundering, spectacular, kaleidoscopic top of his game. He's been doing character designs that make me weep, they're so beautiful - and some of the action sequences, for example in the current Marvel Girl- centred story arc, have been absolutely breath-taking. Also, and this is no small thing, since I'm coming into the X-universe for the first time, it's great to do so alongside someone with as much experience and knowledge of these characters and their interactions as Chris has.
How do you plan on playing to his strengths artistically?
I'm introducing a hundred and fifty new characters in #188, and another two hundred in #189. And they all fight. And they all have superpowers you never heard of before.
No, we're at the pleasurable stage of taking each other's measure at the moment. I suspect that, as with Peter Gross, Chris is going to turn out to be an artist who can not only handle anything I can throw at him but can infallibly give it back to me turned into gold.
Did you expect the type of buzz the announcement of you on X-Men has brought?
Have we got buzz? Good! I admit I was unprepared for the intensity of the spotlight. I had about a dozen requests for interviews within three days, and suddenly there was all this activity on the message boards - people saying "who is this Carey guy? What's he done?" or in some cases, I'm happy to say "oh I know him from Lucifer, he's cool." It's been a strange experience - fun, exciting, but... yeah, strange. Suddenly you're out there. People are watching.
The X-Men titles seem to inspire a lot of hardcore loyalty with their readers. Some seem genuinely upset at creative changes. What would you say to these readers to give them a taste of why they should give this title a look?
I'd say please judge me by the actual product, not by rumour or hype. But I think most of the hard-core X-fans - at least the ones I've spoken to or met on message boards - are prepared to do that. And I hope they'll enjoy what they find.
Thanks for taking the time to talk to us Mike!
My pleasure.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 07:00 AM
by Ed Contradictory
If you ask me who my favorite comic book character is and I answer without thinking, I'd probably say Batman. If I thought about it for a second, I'd go for the "cool" answer and say Hellboy. But if I was being honest, I'd tell you the truth. Which is that it's Spider-Man.
But see, I have a problem right now.
For Spider-Man now has bone claws.
And I hate bone claws.
Therefore, I must now hate Spider-Man.
How did this horrible turn of events come to be? How can it be rectified? Why do I feel this UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE AND HATRED towards a desperate, crap-filled comicbook storyline? Why are they fucking with Spider-Man?
I really suppose we should have seen this change coming. I mean, way back in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #3, then author Howard Mackie very subtly foreshadowed the coming bone claws. And this was back in 1999.
And then later that same year in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #12, Marvel again planted the seeds that would grow into the epic storyline, "The Other."
Now this polemic is something that I'm almost embarrased to even be writing, so geeky do the words feel as I type them. But such is my hatred of bone claws that I feel compelled to explain it. So, first, a big "fuck you" to the people fucking up Spider-Man and thus forcing me to write this in the first place.
The Ruin of Wolverine (or Why I Hate Bone Claws).
First, let's establish why bone claws are lame. And they ARE lame.
I think it's important to undersand that the bone claws are a retcon. Younger comic readers grew up with bone claws, so they might not know that back in the day there was no doubt that Wolverine's claws were mechanical. The claws are inconsistently drawn two different ways, as thin spike-like pokers and as flat blade-like knives. Neither of which would have had room for bones to exist underneath. Certainly not the thin blades, and if there were these lumpy bones underneath, why the hell were the pokers drawn smooth? Seriously, someone tell me. That never fucking made sense to me.
So, before the bone claws, what was Wolverine?
He was a mutant with a healing factor.
That was it. A scrappy feral little mutant with a healing factor.
The claws were something done to him as part of a government experiment. The experiments, the false memories, all of it, both ruined his life and made him who he was. So he needed the claws, depended on them, but they weren't a natural part of him. That created a really intersting dynamic in the character. His greatest weapon was a horrific violation done to him.
Bone claws changed that dynamic (and also created an mutant anomaly that wouldn't be recitifed until Grant Morrison came up with the idea of secondary mutation years later). No longer were the claws something outside of himself. No longer was he partially dependent on what others did to him in order to be effective. He'd always have the claws. Just stupid, lumpy, retarded bone claws instead of sleek eviscerating blades.
And bone claws make no biological sense to me. I can forgive a lot in the name of comic book science. Lasers out of your eyes? Sure. Star for a head? Okay. A biological mechanism that shoots bone claws out of the top of someone's hand? No thank you.
The weird thing is that Marrow's bone growth makes "comic book science sense" to me. Accelerated bone growth. It comes through her skin. Fine. But Wolverine's bone claws don't work like that. They're not accelerated bone growth. New ones aren't grown each time his claws come out. If they did they couldn't always be covered in adamantium. So we're dealing with a mechanism. A mechanism, built out of bone, that has moving parts that extend and retract "claws" but claws that bear no relation to anything in all of recorded biology. Why the fuck would claws spontaneously grow out of the back of his hands? Now maybe I'm about to lose you here, but that does not make "comic book science sense" to me.
Why Does Spider-Man Now Have Bone Claws?
Honestly, I don't know. I guess it has something to do with comic creators not feeling comfortable just writing entertaining, funny Spider-Man stories. Personally, I can't imagine why that's too hard. Maybe they feel that the funny's been done and they need something new. But we know where that "new" line of thought leads to with Spider-Man. It leads to alien costumes. It leads to clones. It leads to fast-aging goblin children. It leads to very un-Spider-Man-like behavior.
I believe that the first thing that led us down this path was when Spidey lost his sense of humor. And that, believe it or not, happened a long time ago.
Spider-Man tells jokes while fighting bad guys. Why does he tell jokes? He's insecure. Why is he insecure? He feels guilt. Why does he feel guilt? He let a criminal escape, and later, that same criminal killed his uncle. The audience knows this. I think, however, that it is important for Spider-Man to not fully know these important inner workings of his psyche.
Some decades ago, after Mary Jane knew Peter was Spider-Man but before they married, in Amazing Spider-Man #275, he was recounting a battle to her that he had with the Sin-Eater. He was talking about how he was cracking jokes as he dodged the Sin-Eater's shotgun blasts. The same blasts then injured people in the crowd of onlookers. So Peter now felt guilt over that. The jokes that he made because he was insecure were now an extra source of guilt. Worse still, he had a psychological breakthrough where he knew why he made the jokes. Blame the pop-psychology of the 80s, but Peter was now aware that the snappy-patter came from being insecure.
And really, how can you keep making jokes after a realization like that?
You can't.
Certainly, humor remained a part of the character and as old stories fade into the past, new writers come on and take the character back to his comedic roots. But the "grim & gritty" 80s with "Kraven's Last Hunt" and "Mad Dog Ward" left an impression on the character that I believe contributed to where we are today. Put upon science geek everyman Peter Parker has been replaced with chosen Cosmic Spider-God totem. What the fuck?
And all his incidental villains, the ones he'd fight and crack-wise with during the fight, where'd they all go? It seems they appear more often than not in non-Spidey books. Seriously, when was the last time Spider-Man fought and traded puns with the Rhino (who has appeared in Black Panther) Mysterio (who died in Daredevil)? Electro (who was used to create the crisis that launched New Avengers)?
New writers now seem to want to take Spider-Man and just beat up on him. Beyond the point where he's just put upon. Just a few years back Mackie made Peter homeless. And seriously, Straczynski's and Millar's runs on the character were down right sadistic in parts. We've gone from "I can't pay the rent" Spider-Man to "I'm dying and my aunt was buried alive" Spider-Man. Yeesh.
So he died. And was reborn with new powers. Peter now has bone claws, "stingers" they'll call them, an offensive stabbing weapon. Spider-Man with a stabbing weapon. Does that seriously make sense to anyone? Peter also has organic web shooters from a previous storyline... you know, they should just collect the last two years of Spider-Man stories and put them in a hardcover called Guess How Much Crap We Can Jam Into Peter Parker's Forearms?. The organic shooters I didn't raise a stink about. "Overreacting" is how I characterized those who I thought were spazzing over a change to bring him more in line with the movie version of the character. But they were right. It took from the character. The genius kid who invented web shooters. And here we are today... a Spider-Man with fucking spikes coming out of his arms. And seriously, that bullshit explanation at the end of "The Other" that Peter approached his powers like a child? That's lazy crap writing to justify a change to the character. It's bullshit. The underlying theme of Spider-Man has always been responsibility. To pretend that Peter treated his powers lightly to justify a storyline that changes them is crap. Bullshit crap.
Removing Bone Claws From Continuity (How to Do It).
Before they codified the bone claws into continuity with Origin, I had this idea how they could get rid of them. Stay with me on this. So Wolverine has his healing factor. Organs heal fast, bones heal fast. Over the years bones or, rather, calcium deposits built up around the mechanisms and inside the hollow adamantium claws he had. After he then lost the metal, a rudimentary bone structure remained that mimicked the claws he had but wouldn't last and eventually would go away. Like all bad ideas should.
As for Spider-Man, it could just get ignored or forgotten, I guess. He could un-evolve them. Those all seem lame to me, but if you're going to impossibly evolve a feature that spiders haven't even evolved yet, why not just un-evolve it? It's a stupid solution to a stupid problem.
But they are fucking up Spider-Man. I'm serious. They are taking him to place where soon, there isn't an easy fix. They're not just taking a genie out of a bottle here, they're taking the genie bottle and breaking it on the floor. And they're doing it for the immediacy of the shock in a story.
"Spider-Man died!"
"That's awful!"
"Pat Lee drew it!"
"That's even worse!"
And they don't care who will have to clean up their mess. Someone will, I guess, at some point. But I'm going to loathe Peter Parker stabbing people in the meantime. God, I hope he doesn't inject them with poison, too.
Now, what did we learn today? We learned bone claws are stupid. We learned they messed up something cool about Wolverine. And we learned they're going to mess up Spider-Man. So, in summation: DAMMIT, STOP FUCKING UP MY SPIDER-MAN!
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:00 PM
by Mr. Bird Brain
President George W. Bush decided in this year's SQUAAAAAAAAAKtate of the Union speech to attack a vibrant and productive portion of Earth's community: human-animal hybrids. Now, I'm pretty sure most of you realize this, but for the benefit of the visually impaired members of our audience who so bravely decided to come out and support our cAWmmunity, I am one such human-animal hybrid.
The fact that I even need to come out and state that human-animal hybrids, or people with enhanced non-human abilities, as we prefer to be called, can be functioning members of society is shameful. Are race relations in the United States so bad that a sitting PAWKPAWKPAWresident can come out and condemn an entire segment of society in the biggest speech of the year?
What makes people with enhanced non-human abilities the target of such vile attacks by a certain small, but extremely vocal minority in our cAWntry? Are we threatening the moral fabric of our great nation? Are we, by our very existence, a threat to America's sQUAAAAAAAAWvereign identity? Personally, I think we are singled out for a much more base reason: our appearance. Like so many of the great civil rights battles in the course of human history, we are singled out because we look different. And because some people find a half-man half-bird "icky."
Some 20 years ago, I was discovered by a group of kind-hearted youngsters, created and ensQUAAAWlaved by a flawed visionary, sequestered on a far-off island. These children found me, cared for me, taught me. And they eventually helped me in the fight for the freedom of my brothers and sisters on that very same island. I was then faced with a difficult decision: Do I cAWCAWCAWCAWntinue my education and assimilation with my newfound friends, or do I remain with my brethren on the island? In my mind, I knew where my calling lay, but I longed for the normalcy of a boarding school, for a simple life of homework and crushes on blonde demon girls with the ability to open portals to alternate dimensions. But in the end, I chose to follow the call of destiny, to remain, to educate, to lead.
I return now, older, wiser, with a less obtrusive sQUAAAAAAKpeech impediment, but with a focus and clarity of purpose that was missing on that distant island. I return to lead the fight for equal treatment for my people. Today, I am announcing the creation of the American Association of Human Animal Hybrids After Humble Adequation, or AAHAHAHA. AAHAHAHA will be fighting for equal treatment, equal rights for people with enhanced non-human abilities. And we will be joining the fight against discrimination of people with different appearances. We proudly stand beside the National Mutant Bias Liberation Authority, People Registering Indignance at Selective Segregation, and Bird Man, and will lend our significant cultural weight to our shared agenda.
And while some of these groups may suffer from an "image problem" (pause for sarcastic chuckle), I am no less pAWKPAWKroud of the work they do, no less proud to add the single voice of our millions of people with enhanced non-human abilities to their call for equal rights. Thank you, and keep fighting the good fight.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 06:00 PM
by Ryan Higgins and the Your Mom's Basement staff
Planet Hulk. Planet. Hulk. The very words make one think of planets... and hulks. It's the biggest thing to hit the Incredible Hulk since... I don't know... since the last time some big monster hit him, I guess. Let YourMomsBasement bring you up to speed with everything you need to know about this new storyline. We had a group of high-waisted pants wearing fanboys ask Fan Favorite Retailer Ryan Higgins 20-Odd Questions about everything dealing with hulks. And their planets.
1. What the hell is "Planet Hulk"? Is that the Emperor Hulk storyline I remember hearing about?
OH SHIT YOU JUST TOTALLY RUINED THE ENTIRE STORY FOR ME THANKS A LOT!
“Planet Hulk” is a year-long story arc running through The Incredible Hulk that pits him against an alien Roman Empire-esque world where Hulk is no longer the strongest there is. It runs 12 issues, plus a Planet Hulk Prelude TPB. And a Giant-Size Incredible Hulk one-shot. And a Planet Hulk Gladiator Guidebook. And Planet Hulk Hands and Feet. And Planet Hulk Planet Hollywood. Marvel just doesn’t do anything half-assed, do they?
2. Are the Avengers, FF, and the X-Men all dead in this? Or maybe they're just gamma-irradiated! Just imagine the possibilities of a gamma-irradiated Wolverine!
No such luck, although a gamma-irradiated Wolverine would indeed rock. He’d be able to say “I’m the strongest there is at what I do!” And he could wear a purple doo rag that never seems to quite rip all the way.
3. How does the Hulk get out into space?
The story starts in the Incredible Hulk arc “Peace in Our Time” (Incredible Hulk #88-91), where Nick Fury sends Bruce Banner into space to smash a deadly (*coughBrotherEyecough*) spy satell…I mean space station created by Hydra in the ‘70s. When Hulk reaches the station, he discovers that it wasn’t made by Hydra, but S.H.I.E.L.D.! After destroying it, Banner expects to be returned to Earth, but the Illuminati (that’s Dr. Strange, Mr. Fantastic, Iron Man, Professor X, Namor, and Black Bolt) decide that they’d better use Hulk-in-space to their advantage, so they shoot him off into the depths of space, towards an uninhabited planet. A “navigational error” (also known as Hulk smashing) puts him off course, and Hulk lands on a world of humanoid/bug creatures.
Wait, let’s get this right. Mr. Fantastic informs the Hulk “For your sake and ours, we’re sending you away. It’s the only way we can be sure.” Mr. Fantastic, the man who has felt the guilt of turning his best friend into a rocky monster, gives up on the Hulk and rockets him to a barren planet. Riiiiight.
4. So the Hulk is sent to this faraway planet by navigational error when the Avengers and the FF send him off-planet for their own safety. But wasn't there a storyline in the 80s where the Hulk is shrunken down into microscopic size and lives in the Micronauts universe? And didn't he love it there? Because they lived by a code that treasured and valued his savagery and power.
Yes, I recall that story arc. Does Marvel, though?
5. Planet Hulk is the direct to DVD sequel starring Fox Mulder, right?
“THE HULK IS OUT THERE! PUNY HUMANS NO TOUCH MULDER-HULK’S PORN COLLECTION!”
6. Is "Planet Hulk" "Planet Doom"? Or "Counter-Earth"? Or "Earth-2"?
None of the above, although how cool would it be to see Hulk on Earth-2? Maybe Hulk is that mystery character that Marvel apparently sold to DC that’s going to make an appearance in Infinite Crisis. Out of nowhere, Hulk shows up and tears off Superboy Prime’s arm and punches his head off. Take that, you monster! PANTHA WAS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!
7. Are there Monkey-Hulks on horseback with guns? Is there a Hulk dressed as Abe Lincoln memorialized in statue form anywhere in this story?
I swear, if someone at Marvel reads this and decides they should do sequels called “Beneath Planet Hulk” or “Battle for Planet Hulk,” I’m gonna come over there and rip your arms off.
8. How is President Hulk of the United States of Hulkerica doing in the ratings? Has he gamma-bombed Hulkraq yet?
No, President Hulk was able to peacefully install a Democratic government into Hulkraq with no war or loss of life. Even Hulk isn’t that stupid.
9. Do they read comics about puny weaklings on Planet Hulk?
They only read old reprints of “Boy’s Life” and “The Rifleman” on Planet Hulk.
10. Which Hulk is this? Smart Hulk? Dumb Hulk? Gansta' Hulk? Or "I'm the goddamn Hulk" Hulk?
What, are you dense? Are you retarded or someth-
Ok, ok, that’s been played out enough by now. Let’s try something different…
The last time Hulk inspired anyone was when he was dead.
There. That’s better.
11. Does She-Hulk show up?
Nope. She’s got her own series, appropriately entitled “She-Hulk,” by Dan Slott, Juan Bobillo, and others. It’s easily one of the best comics currently published by Marvel. Go check out “She-Hulk, Volume 1: Single Green Female” or “She-Hulk, Volume 2: Superhuman Law,” out now in trade paperback. Or, if you’re a real man, track down the single issues at your local comic book shop.
12. The Leader?
Nope, no Leader. He’s a pretty cool villain, though. Just think—they can team up the Leader with Hector Hammond and the Flash, when they had big heads. They can call themselves “Members with Enormous Heads!”
13. How does Hulk change from Banner to Hulk? Or does he not do that anymore?
Ol’ Green Jeans (what a stupid nickname) still turns into puny Banner from time to time. Hopefully he stays Hulkified during this arc, or he’ll be in a world of hurt. Of course, puny Banner might be able to think his way off the planet and back to Earth, but that would be too obvious.
14. On Planet Hulk, do they talk like Smurfs? Is it all "Well, you hulk for one hulking minute, Brainy Hulk! Poppa Hulk and Hulkette won that hulk contest fair and hulk!"?
If they did, does “HULK SMASH!” become “HULK HULK!”?
15. Is there Hulk on Hulk action? At any point does the Hulk say, "Emil Blonsky, I wish I knew how to quit you!"?
I believe there is a Hulkback Mountain on Planet Hulk, if that’s what you’re asking.
16. What about the Hulk Dogs? Any chance of them making a return to greatness?
I will defend the Hulk movie to my dying days, and the Hulk Dogs are one of my main arguments. They’re like the Hulk…but they’re dogs! Genius! I don’t know why people didn’t like the movie.
17. Tubby Uncle Hulk keeps yelling at me for standing in front of the TV when the game is on. You tell him he can get off his ass and get his own damn beer!
Ok, I’ll tell him. And while I’m at it, let me just tell Marvel that a photo comic is a terrible, terrible idea. It’s almost as good of an idea as Spider-Man with bone claws. Or Spider-Man in a metal suit, similar to Iron Man. Or “Nick Fury’s Howling Commandos.” Yes, we get it. They’re monsters.
18. Why does Doc Samson suck so much?
I blame his green hair. Which doesn’t match the carpets, if you catch my drift.
19. Did Hulk Hogan approve this?
No. Expect a frivolous lawsuit sometime soon.
20. What exactly does the Hulk have to do with Chuck Norris? And does Chuck Norris show up this issue to roundhouse kick anyone into next week?
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see it this month.
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Read 20-Odd Questions: INFINITE CRISIS
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
by Jim Dandy
The same applies to Tiger Woods golf. It all started senior year of college, when the six of us living in the house would grab a 30 pack and play Tiger 2003 for a dollar a hole. I started out terribly, but the second I played, particularly when against other people, my competitive nature completely overwhelmed any sense I might have had. I would throw myself completely into the game, ignoring everything around me—my girlfriend, eating, time of day. It was just smoke, shoot, drink. Smoke, shoot, drink. Cigarettes, for those of you wondering.
The next year, I got Tiger 2004 for Christmas. I loved every second of it, but all my old roommates had separated and scattered to the four winds, as we are prone to do at the end of college. So I played alone, trying to rack up ridiculous scores and then bragging about how awesome I was on whatever message board I happened to be a member of at that time. By the way, I am a reasonably well-adjusted, normal, socially capable (some may even say adept) young man. Sure, I’m a little husky, but SHUT UP YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME! My original quest was to get everything there was to get, unlock everything, win every trophy. Once I finished that, it started to be scoring records—birdie every hole, eagle 7 holes, shoot under 200 for a tournament.
A few months ago, I grabbed Tiger 2006, and it was like riding a bike (except with the changes to the putting, at first it was like riding a bike, trying to stop in front of your house and ending up two states over. I hated it. Then I adjusted). And the old scoring goals went out the window right quick. So about a week ago, I realized it may be possible for me to shoot –100 for a full tournament. That’s –25 for each round. There are only 18 holes in a round. Seven eagles, 11 birdies. And I realized after the first round of the British Open (on the St. Andrews course) that it could be possible.
Round 1: I shot a 47, exactly 25 shots under par.
Round 2: I shot a 48. I was all kinds of pissed.
Round 3: One of the most ridiculous rounds I’ve ever played in this game. Knocked down a 111-foot putt, a 73-foot putt, dropped an ace (a hole in one, for those who aren’t hip to the jive lingo) on the 8th hole, then did the same on the 9th. With a driver. I shot a 44 to go to –77 for the tournament.
Round 4:
Hole 1: I drove the green off the tee, hitting the ball within 2 feet of the pin. I eagled (which I’ve done 4 times in 4 rounds on this hole) to bring myself to –79.
Hole 2: I figured out that this might work as a column. I also came to the realization that I am a hopeless dork and made plans to drink until I forget, shortly after completing the round. Birdie. –80
Hole 4: Can I just say I hate the voices in this game? And the damn soundtrack? The soundtrack is like goddamn lounge techno, except for that one Dave Matthews song, which isn’t much better. And the voices, dear God. EA was all like “Look at how much control you have over your character!” And when you make your guy, you choose from one of 5 voices, and then pick how much helium you want it to suck in. Is there any idiot out there besides the 5 people they recorded who says “Oh crap, that sounds just like me!” Birdie. –82
Hole 5: Well that’s just lovely. I missed about 6 inches to the right off the tee on a par 5, and now I have a 225 yard second shot. Missed the green. Birdie on a par 5. Not good. -83
Hole 6: Gotta crap.
That wasn’t nearly as bad as it felt. By the way, Ipod solitaire is hard. The headphones are on, a cigarette has been smoked. It’s time to enter the zone. I promptly blow the drive, hitting it about 20 yards shorter than I would like and leaving myself a tough second shot. Which I hit pretty well. Birdie. –84
Hole 7: It’s time to start hitting eagles. There we go. Green in one, 24 foot putt for eagle. –86
Hole 8: Par 3. Let’s see if I can hole it. Nope. 3 inches left. Tap in for birdie. –87
Hole 9: This was the crazy par 4 hole in one last round. Can I do it again? No, but the pin placement was all the way at the back of the green. I left it 8 feet short and right. Eagle. –89
Hole 11: Knock down a 29 foot putt for birdie. –91
Hole 12: Drove it a good way past the hole. Came back and knocked down a 68 foot putt for eagle. –93 with 6 to play.
Hole 13: FUCKING CAMERA ANGLE! SHOW THE CLOSE SHOT SO I CAN SPIN THE DAMN BALL! The camera angle off of drives is usually right behind the ball, so you can see where on (or off) the fairway your ball is going. Instead, on this fucking hole, the goddamn camera goes to a far shot, like you’re a goddamn spectator standing by the green. It did the SAME GODDAMN THING to me last round on this hole, and I ended up in the rough. This (retarded camera angles) has been a problem with every Tiger game I’ve ever played. I left a 167 yard second shot six inches left of the hole. Tap in for birdie. –94 with 5 to play. It’s going to come down to needing an eagle on 18, I know it. This sucks.
Hole 14: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Holed out from 200 yards for double eagle. –97 with 4 to play!
Hole 15: Blow the 20 foot birdie putt. Par. –97 with 3 to play.
Hole 16: Pressure’s starting to build. I’m sweating like a pig. Focus is starting to go. I think I have the runs. Holy shit. Eagle from 79 yards out. Maybe it’s food poisoning. –99 with 2 to play.
Hole 17: I feel the controller starting to crap out on me. Dear God don’t do this. Holy fuck. Birdie. –100
Hole 18: All I have to do is par, and I can drive the green in one if I hit it right. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH EAGLE PUTT FROM 45 FEET! -102! I AM THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME GOLFER OF ALL TIME!
Final 4 round scores: 47, 48, 44, 47 for a total of 186, 102 shots under par.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 07:00 AM
