by Ryan Higgins and the Your Mom's Basement staff

Planet Hulk. Planet. Hulk. The very words make one think of planets... and hulks. It's the biggest thing to hit the Incredible Hulk since... I don't know... since the last time some big monster hit him, I guess. Let YourMomsBasement bring you up to speed with everything you need to know about this new storyline. We had a group of high-waisted pants wearing fanboys ask Fan Favorite Retailer Ryan Higgins 20-Odd Questions about everything dealing with hulks. And their planets.

1. What the hell is "Planet Hulk"? Is that the Emperor Hulk storyline I remember hearing about?
OH SHIT YOU JUST TOTALLY RUINED THE ENTIRE STORY FOR ME THANKS A LOT!

“Planet Hulk” is a year-long story arc running through The Incredible Hulk that pits him against an alien Roman Empire-esque world where Hulk is no longer the strongest there is. It runs 12 issues, plus a Planet Hulk Prelude TPB. And a Giant-Size Incredible Hulk one-shot. And a Planet Hulk Gladiator Guidebook. And Planet Hulk Hands and Feet. And Planet Hulk Planet Hollywood. Marvel just doesn’t do anything half-assed, do they?

2. Are the Avengers, FF, and the X-Men all dead in this? Or maybe they're just gamma-irradiated! Just imagine the possibilities of a gamma-irradiated Wolverine!
No such luck, although a gamma-irradiated Wolverine would indeed rock. He’d be able to say “I’m the strongest there is at what I do!” And he could wear a purple doo rag that never seems to quite rip all the way.

3. How does the Hulk get out into space?
The story starts in the Incredible Hulk arc “Peace in Our Time” (Incredible Hulk #88-91), where Nick Fury sends Bruce Banner into space to smash a deadly (*coughBrotherEyecough*) spy satell…I mean space station created by Hydra in the ‘70s. When Hulk reaches the station, he discovers that it wasn’t made by Hydra, but S.H.I.E.L.D.! After destroying it, Banner expects to be returned to Earth, but the Illuminati (that’s Dr. Strange, Mr. Fantastic, Iron Man, Professor X, Namor, and Black Bolt) decide that they’d better use Hulk-in-space to their advantage, so they shoot him off into the depths of space, towards an uninhabited planet. A “navigational error” (also known as Hulk smashing) puts him off course, and Hulk lands on a world of humanoid/bug creatures.

Wait, let’s get this right. Mr. Fantastic informs the Hulk “For your sake and ours, we’re sending you away. It’s the only way we can be sure.” Mr. Fantastic, the man who has felt the guilt of turning his best friend into a rocky monster, gives up on the Hulk and rockets him to a barren planet. Riiiiight.

4. So the Hulk is sent to this faraway planet by navigational error when the Avengers and the FF send him off-planet for their own safety. But wasn't there a storyline in the 80s where the Hulk is shrunken down into microscopic size and lives in the Micronauts universe? And didn't he love it there? Because they lived by a code that treasured and valued his savagery and power.
Yes, I recall that story arc. Does Marvel, though?

5. Planet Hulk is the direct to DVD sequel starring Fox Mulder, right?
“THE HULK IS OUT THERE! PUNY HUMANS NO TOUCH MULDER-HULK’S PORN COLLECTION!”

6. Is "Planet Hulk" "Planet Doom"? Or "Counter-Earth"? Or "Earth-2"?
None of the above, although how cool would it be to see Hulk on Earth-2? Maybe Hulk is that mystery character that Marvel apparently sold to DC that’s going to make an appearance in Infinite Crisis. Out of nowhere, Hulk shows up and tears off Superboy Prime’s arm and punches his head off. Take that, you monster! PANTHA WAS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!

7. Are there Monkey-Hulks on horseback with guns? Is there a Hulk dressed as Abe Lincoln memorialized in statue form anywhere in this story?
I swear, if someone at Marvel reads this and decides they should do sequels called “Beneath Planet Hulk” or “Battle for Planet Hulk,” I’m gonna come over there and rip your arms off.

8. How is President Hulk of the United States of Hulkerica doing in the ratings? Has he gamma-bombed Hulkraq yet?
No, President Hulk was able to peacefully install a Democratic government into Hulkraq with no war or loss of life. Even Hulk isn’t that stupid.

9. Do they read comics about puny weaklings on Planet Hulk?
They only read old reprints of “Boy’s Life” and “The Rifleman” on Planet Hulk.

10. Which Hulk is this? Smart Hulk? Dumb Hulk? Gansta' Hulk? Or "I'm the goddamn Hulk" Hulk?
What, are you dense? Are you retarded or someth-

Ok, ok, that’s been played out enough by now. Let’s try something different…

The last time Hulk inspired anyone was when he was dead.

There. That’s better.

11. Does She-Hulk show up?
Nope. She’s got her own series, appropriately entitled “She-Hulk,” by Dan Slott, Juan Bobillo, and others. It’s easily one of the best comics currently published by Marvel. Go check out “She-Hulk, Volume 1: Single Green Female” or “She-Hulk, Volume 2: Superhuman Law,” out now in trade paperback. Or, if you’re a real man, track down the single issues at your local comic book shop.

12. The Leader?
Nope, no Leader. He’s a pretty cool villain, though. Just think—they can team up the Leader with Hector Hammond and the Flash, when they had big heads. They can call themselves “Members with Enormous Heads!”

13. How does Hulk change from Banner to Hulk? Or does he not do that anymore?
Ol’ Green Jeans (what a stupid nickname) still turns into puny Banner from time to time. Hopefully he stays Hulkified during this arc, or he’ll be in a world of hurt. Of course, puny Banner might be able to think his way off the planet and back to Earth, but that would be too obvious.

14. On Planet Hulk, do they talk like Smurfs? Is it all "Well, you hulk for one hulking minute, Brainy Hulk! Poppa Hulk and Hulkette won that hulk contest fair and hulk!"?
If they did, does “HULK SMASH!” become “HULK HULK!”?

15. Is there Hulk on Hulk action? At any point does the Hulk say, "Emil Blonsky, I wish I knew how to quit you!"?
I believe there is a Hulkback Mountain on Planet Hulk, if that’s what you’re asking.

16. What about the Hulk Dogs? Any chance of them making a return to greatness?
I will defend the Hulk movie to my dying days, and the Hulk Dogs are one of my main arguments. They’re like the Hulk…but they’re dogs! Genius! I don’t know why people didn’t like the movie.

17. Tubby Uncle Hulk keeps yelling at me for standing in front of the TV when the game is on. You tell him he can get off his ass and get his own damn beer!
Ok, I’ll tell him. And while I’m at it, let me just tell Marvel that a photo comic is a terrible, terrible idea. It’s almost as good of an idea as Spider-Man with bone claws. Or Spider-Man in a metal suit, similar to Iron Man. Or “Nick Fury’s Howling Commandos.” Yes, we get it. They’re monsters.

18. Why does Doc Samson suck so much?
I blame his green hair. Which doesn’t match the carpets, if you catch my drift.

19. Did Hulk Hogan approve this?
No. Expect a frivolous lawsuit sometime soon.

20. What exactly does the Hulk have to do with Chuck Norris? And does Chuck Norris show up this issue to roundhouse kick anyone into next week?
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see it this month.



Discuss this article in our forum.



Read 20-Odd Questions: INFINITE CRISIS