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What Scared You as a Kid?
What Were/Are Your Favorite Scary Movies?
Friday/Saturday Night Horror!
The Jason Voorhees Tribute Special!
Won Kim's Foreign Film Roundup: Halloween Horror!
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 02:00 AM
Jim Mahfood. Artist/Writer on Wha... Huh? and Classic 40 Ounce.
"Ronald Reagan."
Tom Peyer. Author on Spider-Man: House of M and The Authority.
"Nearly everything. I remember watching Plan 9 From Outer Space on TV and being scared. Plan 9 From Outer Space! Also, I went to Catholic school; nothing could be as scary as the idea of suffering in Hell for eternity just because I committed some stupid sin. Back then, I could drive myself crazy thinking about it."
mc chris. Rapper, the recently released 'Eating's Not Cheating'; voice actor, MC Pee Pants on Adult Swim's 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force'; and writer/voice actor, Hesh on 'Sealab 2021'.
"nightmares, falling, the dark you know the usual."
Tad Williams. Author of Shadowmarch: Volume 1 and The War of the Flowers.
"Puppets, especially Mr. Punch. I deliberately "lost" a children's encyclopedia that had him on the cover of the "P" edition (for "Puppets"). Also, there was a mechanical baker or butcher display figure at the Farmer's Market near where I lived when I was about three -- he tick-tocked from side to side -- that I loathed. One day I found that he'd fallen down from the shelf and broken. I felt as though my worst enemy had keeled over dead. Victory!"
Geoff Johns. Author on Infinite Crisis and JLA/JSA: Virtue and Vice.
"The Invasion of the Body Snatchers from the 70's. I saw it on
television one night and my brother and I were like, 'How are the
good guys going to win this one?' And then they didn't!! It ended
and it was the first time I saw good guys lose."
Steven Brust. Author of The Gypsy and Sethra Lavode.
"Work."
Tim Truman. Grimjack co-creator and writer/artist of Wilderness.
"In my bedroom in Dunbar, West Virginia, when I was in the first grade, my bed was positioned beside a window that looked out on a little concrete patio at the back of our house. The patio light was right beside my window, and for some reason mom usually left it on all night. I would lay awake all night waiting for someone (or something!) to peek into my window-- and knowing that when it happened, I'd see them perfectly.
I was also really scared of the third floor in my Uncle Delbert's house in Jodie, mainly because my cousins Joe and Tom, who wre about ten or twelve years older than us, had told us that here were ghosts up there! When my sisters and I grew up we realized that they just told us that to keep us from going upstairs and messing with their stuff."
Patton Oswalt. Comedian ("Feelin' Kinda Patton") and writer of JLA: Welcome to the Working Week.
"The thought that, decades into my future, someone named Ben Affleck
would have a movie career."
Ed Brubaker. Author on Captain America and Catwoman
"The Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz movie. Even when she was a guest of Mr. Rogers I got scared when they said it was her and made my mom turn off the TV."
Michael Moorcock. Author of The White Wolf's Son: The Albino Underground and the upcoming The Vengeance of Rome: Between the Wars.
"What scared me most as a kid was Richard Matheson's I AM LEGEND, which I couldn't stop reading even though I was doing it in the dark. When the flashlight battery ran out, I started burning paper in the fireplace just to give me enough light to go on reading. This atmosphere, created by the flaring and dying fire, made it all the worse for me."
John Ostrander. Grimjack co-creator and Star Wars writer.
"The nuns at my RC school. This is pre-Vatican II nuns. I'm serious."
Justin Gray. Writer of Hawkman and the upcoming Jonah Hex.
"There was this guy we called the highway man, he was a homless guy who wandered up and down a stretch of road for years, collecting garbage, usually talking to himself, dirty hair, duct taped shoes...the whole deal. So one day my friends and I, idiots that we were we followed him. We must have walked behind him for a few miles before he turned off the road and into the woods. Of course we were idiots and continued to follow him. He lived in what I guess you can call a shack but wasn't much more than some boards pretending to be walls holding up a roof. He disappeared inside and we kept creeping closer and he comes flying out of the shack swinging something. He threw a dead possum at us and we ran like hell. I thought he was going to kill us, but now it's pretty funny."
Beau Smith. Creator of Wynnona Earp and columnist of "Busted Knuckles" at Silver Bullet Comics
"I was always afraid that... whatever I was in line for was gonna run out before I got there. I was afraid of being the first one n the family to fall asleep at night. The reason being, if I did I couldn't depend on my younger brothers to protect us from any monsters that might bust into the house.
So I always made sure I was the last to fall asleep."
Neil Gaiman. Writer of Sandman, 1602 and the recently published novel, Anansi Boys.
"The dark."
Chip Zdarsky. Writer and artist of Prison Funnies
"The knowledge that Warren Ellis was somewhere out there in teenage form."
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 01:30 AM
Jim Mahfood. Artist/Writer on Wha... Huh? and Classic 40 Ounce.
"The Shining and The Exorcist"
Tom Peyer. Author on Spider-Man: House of M and The Authority.
"John Carpenter's The Thing. 28 Days Later. Halloween. From Justin To Kelly. From Justin To Kelly II: The Impaling."
mc chris. Rapper, the recently released 'Eating's Not Cheating'; voice actor, MC Pee Pants on Adult Swim's 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force'; and writer/voice actor, Hesh on 'Sealab 2021'.
"i wasn't really allowed to see them i think my first might've been omen and that crepped me out big time. it was a sleepover where home rules never apply. my favorite these days, i dunno, i like the final destination movies and i liked freddy vs jason. i obviously like the evil dead stuff. like most people, right now i'm nuts for zombies. shaun of the dead was on of last year's best movies."
Tad Williams. Author of Shadowmarch: Volume 1 and The War of the Flowers.
"I remember being very frightened by the kids turning into donkeys in PINOCCHIO -- they were really scary. They brayed like little souls being damned to hell, and looked TERRIFIED. When I was a bit older, 12 or so, the movie THE INNOCENTS (based on H. James TURN OF THE SCREW) with Deborah Kerr scared me so badly I couldn't even watch it in my room with the door closed, but had to have some open connection to the rest of the house and my parents, who were reading in the living room.
That's still one of the best psychological horror movies ever, I think. The two kids -- one of whom is in Mary Poppins -- are brilliant, and I've never felt the same way about opening a curtain at night to see what's on the other side."
Geoff Johns. Author on Infinite Crisis and JLA/JSA: Virtue and Vice.
"The Omen, Rosemary's Baby, Changeling, Night of the Living Dead,
Shaun of the Dead."
Steven Brust. Author of The Gypsy and Sethra Lavode.
"The only horror movie I've ever liked was the Lugosi 'Dracula.'"
Tim Truman. Grimjack co-creator and writer/artist of Wilderness.
I loved (and saw) every Hammer horror film ever made, as well as James Whale's Frankenstein, House of Frankenstein, and Frankenstein meets the Wolf Man. Most of them didn't really scare me, though. I looked upon them as cool adventure movies. I loved RFrankenstein. My favorite monsters are werewolves and vampires, though. Favorite monster hunter: Peter Cushing!
The only movies that ever terrified me were The Mummy's Curse and the Demon. For some reason Mummy movies really gnawed on a nerve and creeped me out. I look at them now and say "Uh... why?" But when I was a pre-teen, they terrified me.
The scene from the Demon that freaked me came at the end, when there's this image of the demon sort of gliding across the ground in the distance. When I think about it now, as a guy who creates images for a living, I realize that close ups of monsters never really bugged me that much. It was distant shots-- the mummy shambling acrosss the desert or the moors, and that shot of the demon, shot from about 60 or 100 feet away-- that would bring the scares home to me. It was like I was a secret witness to something that I wasn't supposed to see.
Favorite monster flicks when I was a teen were Brides of Dracula and the Omega Man. Again, I viewed them more as adventure movies than horror flicks. However, the movies that really scared me the most were The Exocist and Jaws. I mean, those two movies really terrified the crap out of me.
My favorite horror movie of all time, hands down, is dawn of the dead. I was in my twenties when I saw Dawn with Steve Bissette, John Bisson (now a special effects artist) , and some other buddies. It scared me, thrilled me, and insinuated itself on my brain for months and months. The thing that scared me the most about it was the scenes of martial law at the beginning of the film. Well, that and the lady chomping into the guy's trapezius muscle.
Big fan of Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, too.
Patton Oswalt. Comedian ("Feelin' Kinda Patton") and writer of JLA: Welcome to the Working Week.
"The first movie memory I have is, when I was 5 years old, going to this activity day at the local library for kids, and they showed the 1922 NOSFERATU. I guess they thought, you know, old silent B&W film, just fine
for kids. It was an 8mm print, and they projected it onto the wall of the back room of the library. Ten minutes into the fucknig thing, and all us kids are screaming and freaking out. I always thought that the film couldn't have been as scary and creepy as I remember it, since I was five, but I saw a restored print about six years ago and holy shit, that's one of the scariest films I've ever seen.
As far as modern films, the holy triumvirate of Getting the Poop Scared Out of You and Into Your Pants are (and still remain) JAWS, THE EXORCIST and, above all others, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. The original."
Ed Brubaker. Author on Captain America and Catwoman
"Psycho, and Alien."
Michael Moorcock. Author of The White Wolf's Son: The Albino Underground and the upcoming The Vengeance of Rome: Between the Wars.
"All horror movies scare me, which is why I've seen so few, but my favourites are the old Universal movies by James Whale -- Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, for instance. These movies convey a brooding sense of terror and mystery which most later movies lack for me, though ALIEN, while not strictly in that genre, has much the same atmosphere."
John Ostrander. Grimjack co-creator and Star Wars writer.
"The one that scared the heck of my little RC soul was THE EXORCIST when it first came out. Literally slept that night with the lights on. ALIEN also did a real fine job on me. Outside of that, I like Bride of Frankenstein even more than the original (although i liked that a lot as well). Also, there's a ghost story starring Ray Milland that I think is called THE UNINVITED. Loved that one!"
Justin Gray. Writer of Hawkman and the upcoming Jonah Hex.
"Susperia, Carpenter's the Thing, The Fog, Alien, Cat People both movies, Invasion of the Body Snatchers the seventies remake, Audition, Body Double, The Shinning still creeps me out, Misery, Nightbreed for it's cheesy factor, Friday the Thirteenth the original, Halloween 1 & 3, for some reason the sleepy town rubber mask conspiracy got me, The Birds, Jacobs Ladder, The Hills Have Eyes, Seven, Cemetery man, Dawn of the Dead, Wolfen, Island of Lost Souls, Eyes without a face...I could go on and on."
Beau Smith. Creator of Wynnona Earp and columnist of "Busted Knuckles" at Silver Bullet Comics
"The Creature From The Black Lagoon: Great monster suit and the photography was excellent. Julie Adams was a babe. She got me through puberty in a very nice way. The music score was matched with the action to perfection.
The Curse Of The Werewolf: The best Wolfman outfit ever done in movies. Oliver Reed was great as the tragic monster. He was really a scary looking Wolfman unlike the furry ones that had come before. In the babe factor there was Yvonne Romain a known Hammer Films busty beauty. She was eye-popping.
Howard Hawks The Thing From Another World: The most manly monster movie EVER! This is what a real monster movie should be. Tough talking army men wisecracking and fighting off the pissed off alien. In this case it was James Arness, noted for playing Matt Dillon on Gunsmoke for so many years. Highly recommend this one.
The Incredible Two Headed Transplant: Has to be the WORST monster movie ever. By that I mean so bad it was good. Bruce Dern, Pat Priest, and...Casey Kasem. Done in about 6 days with a budget of $500.00. A soundtrack that makes ya laugh as you hear the early 70's guitar. I saw this one as a 10th grader in high school at the Drive-In. Me and my buddies howled with laughter at this one. Albert Cole played the psycho killer side of the transplant. You'll remember him if you have any taste from all the late 60's, early 70's biker movies he made. Babe factor-Pat Priest (The Munsters) runs around in a bikini and fills it out nicley."
Neil Gaiman. Writer of Sandman, 1602 and the recently published novel, Anansi Boys.
"Then, 'Son of Dracula', because I realised watching it that closed doors couldn't keep monsters out.
These days, probably 'The Bride of Frankenstein' because I have a strange crush on Elsa Lanchester. Er, I mean I like the cinematography and the underlying themes."
Chip Zdarsky. Writer and artist of Prison Funnies
"All the Nightmare on Elm Streets! I loved sneaking into those. It's probably where I first linked humour with extreme violence."
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 01:00 AM
My love for Hammer, Amicus and all camp 60s/70s horror
So, what cinematic delights do you have lined up for this Halloween? Me? How kind of you to ask. Well, this year I will be indulging in my horror movie passion.
I fell in love with the British horror movies of the 60s and 70s through television. In the late 70s and early 80s the BBC would show seasons of British horror movies every year, taking advantage of the long, cold, winter nights. So it was that on a Friday and/or Saturday evenings, that I would sit down with my gran (and avid horror fan) and watch the terror unfold. Films from Hammer dominated these seasons, but I was also exposed to those from their greatest rival of the time Amicus, and some other productions aiming to cash in on the popularity.
For me, these films were the perfect blend of horror, kitsch and sex. Some of the plots, indeed the entire premise of some were laughable, but they were truly great at the time and I think have aged well.
Here are some personal recommendations of my favourites from that time which you probably haven't seen. They have that heady mix of gore, sex and high camp which typifies the output at the time.
"The Ghoul"
The first horror film I remember was called "The Ghoul" and centred around two young couples who were out racing in their jalopies (the 1920s dontcha know) and found themselves lost in the mist. They come across an old house, wherein lies a horrendous beast hidden behind a locked door. Sustenance was supplied red and foaming in a bowl left on the floor outside the door. Room service hasn't changed a bit. The owner of the house was played by Peter Cushing and this was my first exposure to the type of eloquent, yet sinister character Cushing would portray for Hammer and the like during the 50s/60s and to a lesser extent, the 70s.
The film also starred Veronica Carlson, another Hammer stalwart and one of a line of scream queens (the others including Ingrid Pit, Yutte Stensgaard and the Collinson twins) who would act as precursors for the 80s versions (Linnea Quigley, Adrienne Barbeau and Barbara Crampton to name but three).
"Twins of Evil"
Twin sisters (played by the first Playboy twins to appear on the same centrefold, the Collinson Twins) go to stay with their aunt and puritanical uncle (Peter Cushing in full Witchfinder fury). One is wicked, the other virginal. The wicked one sneaks out one night and becomes embroiled with a vampire. Cue mix ups aplenty as the good girl is swapped for the vampiric twin to save her from a burning at the hands of her uncle. The only way she is found out is when she tries it on with the good girl's sexless boyfriend who smells a rat when they go to first base, and then has his suspicions confirmed when tossing his crucifix, leaves a burning shape on her left breast. The film is awash with sex, up to and including the good girl's kissing of the blessed cross when atop the pyre.
"The Beast Must Die"
A horror movie with a difference; a werewolf mystery.
A big game hunter/millionaire sets the scene to hunt the ultimate quarry: the werewolf. At his sprawling estate he assembles a group of people who have been linked to stories and legends surrounding the werewolf, believing that one of them must be the monster. Using high tech surveillance and tracking equipment, he begins his hunt and one by one, the guests and servants are brutally slain by the guest/werewolf. As the mystery unfolds, in true Agatha Christie all-suspects-assembled-in-a-room-for-the-big-reveal style, the film's greatest card is played: The Werewolf Break.
For the next 60 seconds, an analogue clock ticks down onscreen, superimposed over pictures of the suspects and the viewer is told they have this time to guess the identity of the perpetrator. Pure kitsch, but there is something so wonderfully fascinating and simple about it, it works.
As the culprit is revealed and the hunt comes to an end, the conclusion is particularly heart rending. A fitting end to a truly unique film.
"Dr Jekyll and Sister Hyde"
A twist on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson tale as this time Dr Jeyll's potion transforms him into a woman. Yes, years before "Tootsie" and "All of Me", the perils of a cross gender were being explored but for horrific value. Cue lots of bodily exploration by the transformed Dr Jekyll, and other such "experimentation". The ongoing subplot of Jekyll and Hyde romancing the true brother and sister in their building is an interesting idea, as is the female being the killer. The ending is effective, but unfortunately falls down (almost literally) due to its depiction of the female half of the equation being weaker than the male. Entertaining stuff however.
"The Vampire Lovers"
An adaptation of Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, finds Ingrid Pitt as the titular vampire. The opening has a fearless vampire hunter tracking down the last of the vampiric Karnstein line and beheading her. Thinking they are all dead and gone he goes about his business. However, he reckons without Carmilla, who ingratiates herself into a well to do household, and proceeds to seduce not only the daughter, but various household members including the chauffeur. Not so much awash with lesbian undercurrents, as completely flooded and gasping for air, this film is one that I remembered seeing once and could never track it down.
"Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed"
Cushing's fifth appearance as the Baron, and possibly his most vicious portrayal. Frankenstein here is not the scientist, but the monster himself. He murders without compunction and acts like a God. As the gore rating is increased, and with it the level of violence both physical and mental, so is the emotional content. The latest creation is a man of science himself, transplanted into the body of a monster. The scene where he pleads to his wife to believe it is him beneath the hidesous shell is heartbreaking.
"Hammer House of Horror"
Not a film, but a series of one hour dramas with titles such as "The House That Bled to Death", "The Silent Scream" and "Witching Time". These were screened on ITV in the UK and all 13 episodes (you see what they did there?) are now available on DVD in one handy package. These shorts are excellent bite size pieces of Hammer schlock, featuring such stars as Cushing, Brian Cox, Patricia Quinn and Denholm Elliot.
"Theatre of Blood"
In the vein (aha) of the Hammer films, this stars the third of the triumvirate Vincent Price (the others being Cushing and Lee) as a Shakespearean actor, panned by a group of critics who then leaps to his death in the icy waters of the Thames. Some time later, one of the critics is found murdered. Another then bites the dust in a gruesome manner, and another. Before long its easy to see who is behind it, as Price's Edward Lionheart cuts a theatrical swathe through his victims, using twists on Shakespearean plays to exact his revenge (the best of which is the serving of gastronome Robert Morley's beloved poodles in a pie in a scene from Titus Andonicus). Superb fun, and camp throughout "Theatre of Blood" is a must see.
"Dr Terror's House of Horrors"
This anthology had a group of individuals sharing a train carriage with the titular Dr Terror, played by Peter Cushing, offering to read the tarot cards and by extension their futures. These tales are then recounted, all building up to the denouement and the obligatory twist. Other stars included Christopher Lee, Donald Sutherland, Bernard Lee (James Bond's 'M') and jazz-trumpeter-tap-dancer-record-breaker Roy Castle.
Amicus obviously thought the anthology format was a winner, as they produced many others such as "Tales from the Crypt", "Asylum" and "From Beyond the Grave" which again had Cushing as the link man, this time as the antique store owner whose wares are left out so people can steal them and ultimately befall a terrible fate.
And finally:
"Zoltan: Hound of Dracula"
The dark one's vampiric Doberman is freed from its eternal slumber to hunt down Dracula's only living relative and persuade him to turn to the blood sucking ways. Zoltan even went on a bit of a road trip to hunt his potential new master, and there may have been a vampire cat but perhaps my mind is playing tricks.
Zoltan even had a little doggie coffin. Ah, bless.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 03:45 PM
THE LOST TRANSCRIPT OF THE JASON VOORHEES CELEBRITY ROAST
This most astounding discover was only recently discovered by the staff here at YMB. While it will prove difficult to prove the veracity of this artifact, it is generally believed to have been written on actual paper. What you are about to read is a transcript of one of the most chilling celebrations in American history. It is up to the reader to determine which is the more terrifying possibility: if this is real, or if this is just somebody's twisted dream.
Herb Pappas: And welcome back! Let's hear it for those Jason Voorhees dancers! Thank you ladies, for that wonderful display! Those leg warmers look great!
*dancers leave stage*
HP: Wow, it sure is great to be back here in Crystal Lake. Why, I haven't been here since back in 1986! And I wasn't here for a celebraion quite like this! No, I was here to identify the body of my uncle Leo, who was a policeman here in this lovely hamlet of ours. He'd had his head crushed by our Mr. Voorhees, and I had take a bus for five hours just to identify his body. That was a dark, dark day. So dark...
The sad death of Officer Pappas.
*cue audience: SYMPATHETIC SIGH*
HP: But that was then and this is now, and now is a time of celebration!
*POLITE APPLAUSE*
HP: Oh yes, today is a big day for us! Today, we take the time to honor a true original, a real American icon: Mr. Jason Voorhees.
*STANDING OVATION*
HP: Jason, we might not agree with some of your methods, some of us might have a...personal issue with how you take care of your business, but when you get right down to it: you have a strong moral center, and you do what you think needs to be done to protect traditional American values. And to me sir, that makes you...a hero. And what do we do for heroes?
ENTER STAGE RIGHT:
Lou Shelly: WE THROW THEM A PARTY!
*APPLAUSE*
HP: Lou, how ya doin'?
LS: Well Herb, I'm having a good time in the back with special celebrity guest Chris Lemmon? And I had myself a couple of drinks-
*AUDIENCE MOCK GASP*
LS: - but they were egg creams, so I think the big guy will let this slide, huh? A huh? Ahahahhaa!
HP: Oh Lou, you're such a kidder. You kid so.
LS: I sure do Herb! *lowers voice/tight spotlight on Lou* But there's one thing that I can't joke about. And that is the death of my son, Lou Shelly Junior. Junior, he was a good kid, a good stout kid. A sense of humor as vibrant as his old man's! But he just couldn't keep himself in line. He'd get in trouble in school, getting in trouble with the 'reefer,' cutting class, and oh Herb. The sassback.
HP: Sassback?
LS: Oh such sassback.
*SYMPATHETIC SIGH*
LS: And I remember thinking 'Say Lou, maybe this kid needs to spend some time at camp to cut down on the sassback. Heck, maybe he could drop a few pounds to boot!' So the ex-wife and I shipped him up here to lovely Camp Crystal Lake, and lo and behold he was stabbed to death by our man: Mr. Jason Voorhees.
The sad death of Lou Shelly Jr.
*APPLAUSE*
HP: Bet that took care of that sassback problem, eh Lou?
LS: Oh, you know it did Herb! But Jason Voorhees takes care of so much more than just simple sassback.
HP: Oh, what sassback!
LS: Herb, please. You see, Mr. Voorhees knows what's wrong with the kids of today, and yesterday. For the past 25 years he has been the stern, authoritarian hand that we need to keep our kids in line, on the right path, and well out of trouble. Premarital sex, the marijuana, underage drinking, skinny dipping, folk music...all blights on our great American society. All across the country, from Kennebunkport to Bakersfield you got the teenagers drunk on the reefer and quaaludes, listening to that rock music...but not here. not here in Crstal Lake!
The threat of juvenile delinquency has been stopped. Cold. By the strong hands and mind of one Jason Voorhees. His methods are extreme, and you may not care for the dead bodies nailed to trees and to the cabins...but you can't argue with results.
*APPLAUSE*
HP: He's like 'Scared Straight' to the Nth degree!
LS: You got that right, Herb! ...and I am confident that Shelly Junior is up there in Heaven with his grandmother and father, and I guarantee you that my boy is the good American in Heaven that I'd always wanted him to be down here on Earth. And for that: I thank you, Jason Voorhees.
*POLITE APPLAUSE*
LS: So Herb, what do we have next on tap?
HP: Well in a minute, we'll be bringing on one Jean-Claude Van Damme?
LS: The muscles from Brussels?!
HP: The very same! Ah ha ha...he's as much of a fan of Mr. Voorhees as we are!
LS: How about that! Well I can't wait to meet him! He can do the most marvelous splits! So athletic!
HP: You got that right, Lou! But first, we have another person who Jason has touched by the heart...but not literally! Ah hah ha ha!
LS: Good one, Herb! Because Jason will do that if he has to! But he can do quite a lot of things with his powers of...imagination.
Some might say he's a dreamer.
HP: Whoa! Preach on, friend!
LS: Oh you know I will Herb! Heck, Jason is one handy and resourceful fellow! He can find a way to use just about anything to get the job done! Sure, he prefers his machete or his meat cleaver-
HP: but who doesn't, am I right people? Am I right?! Ah hah ha ha!
LS: You know you are, Herb! But people, he can use a weedwhacker. He can use a fence post! He can use a spear gun, a garden fork, heck he can even use a noisemaker! A party horn!
HP: No!
LS: Yes! Yes he did, Herb a funtime novelty horn! And that's the kind of American determination and imagination that we as Americans should revel in, and not try to suppress. Not try to quash such fire, such drive with a figurative outboard motor to the chest!
HP: Or a literal one! Jason knows what I'm talking about!
LS: Oh you know he sure does, Herb! Ouch! But the kind of man who can use anything he puts his hands on to get his work done, that's the kind of American we should hold up as an example of excellence, and not as an example of homicidal terror and mayhem!
HP: That's for sure, Lou!
LS: And Jason, he'not afraid to get down in the dirt to get his work done. Heck, he'll use his bare hands as often as his trusty machete! You know a little something about that, eh Herb?
The sad death of Officer Pappas.
HP: ....
LS: You know he does, Herb! But hey, I digress. Who do we have up next, Herb? Is it time for the star of such classic films as "Timecop" and "Universal Soldier 2" to come out and wow us with some world class splits?
HP: No, Lou it's time for another personal tribute to our man of the day. We have a Mrs. Margaret Dier here with us and she has a story that I think will wow you for sure.
LS: Wow!
HP: Not just yet, Lou! Ah hahah! Now, let's welcome Mrs Margaret Dier! Come on out, ma'am! Face the audience!
*POLITE APPLAUSE*
Margaret Dier: Hello Herb. Lou.
HP: Now Mrs Dier, am I correct in that you have lost not one, but two family members at the hands of Mr. Voorhees?
MD: Yes Herb, that is the case. My daughter Sandra, and my son Rob.
Sandra and Rob Dier.
LS: And did they have it coming? I bet they did.
MD: ...yes they did, Lou. Sandra was always a little bit of a...well, slut. She always was boy-crazy.
HP: And Rob?
MD: He was boy-crazy too. And as we all know, that is against nature and all that is holy.
LS: You got that right Mrs D!
MD: Thank you Lou. And I tried so hard to raise my kids right, but they were just such willful little shits.
HP: Language, Mrs D! Language! Ah ha...Jason doesn't care much for the potty mouth!
MD: Oh you're right, Herb. Please forgive me.
*POLITE LAUGHTER*
LS: That's not funny...
MD: And oh, Sandra she tried to be good. She always said she was a good girl, but I never trusted her. So I sent her here to camp one summer, and I hoped that the experience would set her straight. And then...
HP: And then, Margaret?
MD: And then I got a call from the police that they'd sound my...Sandra impaled...to a bed. With a...man on top of her. With a spear.
*SYMPATHETIC SIGH*
MD: And I was vindicated! I was right all along, that little skank was killed for fornicatin just as I had warned her! I told her 'if you keep sleeping around like thatm you're going to end up impaled by a psychotic woodsman!'
LS: Whoa.
MD: But then I knew that Jason Voorhees was a good man at heart. Who else but a truly good person would go through such efforts to prove a mother right? And what's better than a mother being right all the time?
LS: And what about Rob?
MD: Oh, he came up here the year after his slutty sister was found dead looking for revenge. He said he wanted to be the world's first 'Jason Hunter.' I guess there've been a few over the years.
LS: And they're all dead now!
HP: You got that right, Lou! Very dead! And ma'am, it sounds like your son was the very first Jason hunter! The first to die!
MD: I suppose he was. They found him in the basement, with a gardening fork embedded in his throat. I suppose it was a better way for him to go than getting stabbed to death in a rest stop somewhere. He spent a lot of time in rest stops, you know.
LS: Well, a truly inspirational story from Mrs. Margaret Bettens. Thank you so much, Mrs. D! Please stick around, we're going to have some cake and punch in a little bit!
MD: Marvelous.
HP: You got that right! And then we're going to have Hollywood heartthrob Eric Roberts come on stage for a special presentation!
LS: Wow! He's a handsome actor!
HP: Darned right, Lou! He's here to present the 'Man of the Year Award
Now, let's get Mr. Van Damme up here! I thi-
OFFSCREEN: *ch ch ch...ka ka ka...*
*silence*
HP: So then! Let's move onto our next segment, we're ready for some splits!
*ch ch ch...ka ka ka...*
HP: Uhh Lou, is that who I think it is? Could it be?-
LS: I think you might be right, Herb!
MD: Oh shit!
HP: I already warned you about the language, Margaret! What the fuck!
LS: Oh shit Herb, you watch your mouth!
HP: Oh hell.
The Man of the Hour!
MD: Shit!
HP: Fuck!
LS: Shit fuck damn! I-It is! Ladies and gentlemen of the audience, we have been blessed with a guest appearance from Mr. Jason Voorhees!
*Jason stands, seething.*
HP: Y-you got that right, Lou! And l-l-look, he's found the special...replica machete w-we were going to show...the audience!- in honor of our most esteemed guest!
LS: That's no replica, Herb!
HP: ...you got that right, Lou. Boy, Mr. Voorhees. You sure are in great shape for a septuagenarian! What's your secret?
MD: He feeds off of the souls of his victims! He's going to kill us all! Kill us all!
LS: Shut it, lady! Now Jason, I was thinking Bowflex. Is it Bowflex?
And of course, there were no survivors.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:00 AM
Foreign Film Watch: Asian Horror
Warnings & Recommendations for All Hallows Eve.
Acacia (Korea, 2003).
Clockwise from left: images from “Whispering Corridors”, “Tale of Two Sisters”, “Dairy of a Chambermaid”, “Belle Du Jour” & “Phone”. Center: “Ghost House”.
While the Korean film industry also produces it’s share of solid, well made conventional horror films, like the well received Tale of Two Sisters and Korea’s contribution to Ringu mania, The Ring Virus, and supernatural comedies, like Ghost House or Romantic Killers,a good number of them aren’t “just” horror films. Some filmmakers use the conventions of the genre to comment on social issues. How close the resulting movie is to what we conventionally think of as a horror film varies from film to film. While pretty conventional, in it’s focus on teenage girls in trouble, Whispering Corridors also serves as an indictment of the severe treatment students undergo in Korean schools. This film was so realistic and honest that the Korean Board of Education tried to have the film banned outright. Much to their consternation, it spawned a number of quasi-sequels and sparked some debate on the issue. Told from the point of view of a deceased girl, Voice is a meditation on our shared fears about social isolation and uncertainty about what lies beyond death. Phone and Samaritan Girl implicitly attack the abuse of underage girls in Asia.
Acacia falls in the category of horror movie as social statement. While the film delivers unsettling imagery, and much suspense, its’ subject is the implosion of a small surbuban family under the stress of conflicting expectations. A childless couple adopts a child, and unsettling events follow, fraying the very fragile bonds holding the family together. In this, Acacia is closer to director Luis Bunuel’s indictments of middle-class hypocrisy and social conformity, like Diary of a Chambermaid than any conventional horror movie. In some of these films, like Belle Du Jour and The Descreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, Bunuel employed surrealistic dream sequences, fantasies and hallucinations, to underscore his points. Filmmakers like Kim Ki-Hyung (Acacia, Whispering Corridors)and Kim Tae Young and Min Kyu-Dong (Memento Mori) follow suit, punctuating their films with similar scenes.
Kim Mi-sook (Shim Hye-jin) is married to a gynecologist, Do-il (Kim Jin-geun). They live quietly with Do-il's father in a bleak looking suburb. Though Do-Il and Mi-Sook cannot conceive, Mi-Sook is content to focus on her career as teacher and exhibiting artist. Besides, she is wary of starting a family. She shows visible unease, however, when her husband and father-in-law pressure her to consider adoption. Eventually she gives in and visits a local orphanage. To Mi-Sook’s surprise, she recognizes the Edvard Munch-like drawings of a child, whose work she noted during a recent school competition. She meets Jin-sung (Mun Oh-bin) and is taken by the child’s dedication to his art. She decides to accede to her husband’s request and agrees to the adoption.
However once settled in their home, Jin-Sung refuses to adopt the family name, and becomes convinced that his birth-mother’s spirit resides in the long dormant acacia tree in their backyard, and gets hostile when the adults suggest otherwise. In turn Mi-sook resents the child for disrupting the routine of their daily lives, and her husband, for putting her in the awkward position raising a distant adopted child. He also begins to pressure her to put aside her artwork for good. Jin-Sung isn’t happy either, running away on occasion. Tensions worsen when Mi-sook discovers she is pregnant. Threatened, Jin-sung attempts to smother the newborn. Then Jin-sung discovers that the adults have decided to return him to the orphanage, sparking a violent row. Jin-sung runs away again. Stressed out, instead of looking for him, the husband, wife and father-in-law turn on each other. Adding fuel to the fire, the acacia tree flowers overnight, producing strange blossoms. Nasty, malevolent, mysterious things begin to happen (including some surreal set pieces) to each adult in the household, making them distrust each other all the more. Things decline from there.
Looking back on the work of Bunuel and some of his contemporaries, it’s easy to see what Kim Ki-Hyung is doing here in Acacia. Despite the horrific results of the family's inability to cope, what emerges here is a not entirely unsympathetic look at husband and wife cracking under the strains inherent in contemporary middle-class life anywhere in the developed world. Added to the pressure of traditional Korean conformist attitudes, and the need to maintain appearances, are the very modern issues of gender roles in the family, the need to set a balance between the demands of family and career. Such pressures take a toll on people everywhere, including the West, where divorce rates are high and people view themselves as individuals instead of members of a family unit. These stresses are felt all the more acutely in Korea, where economic development has been both fast and recent, and people are still adjusting from their “great leap forward”, while retaining strong internalized sense of feudal social obligations, and the manic desire to maintain “face”.
In making his critique, Park Ki-Hyung makes impressive use of filmmaking technique. Music is used to reinforce a gradually growing sense of unease during the length of the film. A gradual shift in the imagery, lighting and production design is likewise coordinated, to move from the nearly colorless, washed out imagery of the opening of the film, suggesting a cold sterility, to a much darker, gothic look punctuated with bursts of bright reds and browns as the film progresses. On the whole the film has a stark, almost unearthly beauty to it. Shim Hye-Jin deserves high marks for her portrait of a beleaguered woman who has never completely adjusted to the demands of hearth and home, and the two child actors, Mun Oh-bin in the role of the adopted son, and Jeong Na-yoon as the little-girl-next-door, Min-jee, deliver great performances for their age. The films greatest weakness is it’s slow pace, as it demands much from the audience in terms of patience and concentration. This is not disposable entertainment. I wish the American and UK distributor didn’t promote it as such.
Suddenly paying usurious malpractice insurance premiums doesn’t seem that bad, in “Infection”.
Infection (Japan, 2004)
Some of us remember the prime time hospital drama St. Elsewhere that broadcast in the early 80’s, and formed the template for glitzier programs like Chicago Hope and ER. Watching Infection can be fairly described as akin to watching two back-to-back episodes of a Japanese version of St. Elsewhere (with comparable production values) with a script based on typical American horror films of the late seventies or early eighties, like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th.
Set in a hospital that’s so poorly managed that the staff hasn’t been paid for weeks, and even the most basic medical supplies are in short supply. The few nurses that haven’t quit work around the clock, swaying on their exhausted feet. The doctors on staff have taken to turning new patients away whenever possible. Unsupervised patients stumble in the halls, and collapse onto waiting room benches. Others beg for painkillers or call out to long dead relatives. Inevitably an inexperienced, incompetent young nurse injects a badly burned, unidentified patient with the wrong drug, and kills him. Rather than risk being shut down, the attending doctors and nurses make a pact to cooperate in covering up the junior nurse’s mistake. They will put the burn victim’s remains in an unused room, and leeching the tell-tale toxins out of his body by surrounding the corpse with space heaters, essentially roast him for two hours. They reason that no one knows who he is, and no one has come forward to claim him, so what difference can it make?
This is a pretty standard set up for a horror movie. What follows is equally routine, if solidly done. Those involved in the cover up have just, wittingly or not, just made a “deal with the devil”. What they don’t expect is that this time the devil will demand payment in full right away. An ambulance pulls up to the emergency room, and leaves a new patient in the emergency room lobby: a patient whose entire body is being consumed by a gangrenous ooze, the likes of which no one on staff has ever seen before. Soon the co-conspirators are struck down one-by-one by his hideous airborne infection, which drives each victim spectacularly insane, before their innards are completely liquefied, pouring out of their orifices, or bursting out of punctured skin. The horrifying deaths that follow owe their effectiveness more to the performances of the cast, than they do to the film’s decent, if not terribly sophisticated, mechanical special effects - especially since the infection drives its victims mad before consuming their internal organs, bones and muscle tissue. Particularly noteworthy are the performances of the three actresses playing the nurses: the chief nurse, an acid-tongued journeyman, and the incompetent beginner. (I have yet to find a detailed enough cast listing to identify who plays who in this film so I can credit them properly.)
The film is shot in a straightforward, workmanlike way, like any decently-produced television drama. Some lighting effects seem a bit forced but that’s easy to forgive given the intent of those scenes in question. Overall, the use of sound effects is pretty effective, and well timed. My only real complaint about the film is its ending. During the last 12 or so minutes of the production, the narrative fractures into a series of alternate endings that segue into each other. This would have been fine if, say, the alternate endings were used to allow the audience to experience the effects on the infection on a victim’s perception. Unfortunately there is no clear connection between any of the endings and any of the preceding plot threads, so the close of the film is confusing, even disorientating at best. This came struck me as a cop-out of sorts. Thanks to the acting, Infection remains entertaining most of the way through the film. On the whole, it isn’t a bad way to wile away 97 or so minutes of your life, assuming you don’t expect too much and keep the movie’s weaknesses in mind (hence the spoilers about the ending).
The Eye 2 (Thailand-Hong Kong, 2004).
Where the Japanese film, Infection, was a solid, workmanlike horror movie, a throwback to American horror films of the seventies, the next two films clearly show how stylish use of the filmmaking technique, creative editing, and well chosen and timed music can elevate the simplest genre vehicles. Both films were directed by Danny and Oxide Pang, a pair of brothers who shuttle back and forth between Thailand and Hong Kong, producing action films and horror movies so stylish that it’s often said their filmmaking technique transcends their source material. Born in Hong Kong, the Pangs moved to Thailand and worked in advertising before becoming filmmakers. They first came to attention in the West for Bangkok Dangerous , a beautifully shot, if fairly standard story about a deaf-mute killer who gets a shot at both love and redemption. Their biggest claim to fame are their horror films: Bangkok Haunted, The Omen, The Tesseract and The Eye which enjoyed widespread theatrical release in the US and the UK last year. The brothers are currently at working with Sam Raimi on their first English-Language film, starring Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott and Penelope Ann Miller, as siblings torn apart by suspicion when weird things start happening on the family farm in North Dakota.
Mun’s (Angelica Lee) Takes the Initiative in “The Eye”.
The Eye (Hong Kong-Thailand, 2003) was a well made film about a blind young woman named Mun. The recipient of new corneas, Mun finds not only has her sight been restored, but she has the unwelcome ability to see ghosts. Some are simply unnerving, others quite horrifying, depending on the circumstances of their individual deaths. She eventually realizes the reflections and rooms she sees in mirrors are not her own, and begins to fear for her sanity. Her quest for answers leads her to Thailand, to uncover a tragedy, and even more frightening aspects of her new found abilities. While The Eye has it’s shares of inventive, evocative scares, what makes the film stand out is the way the Pangs make the audience identify with Mun’s plight, and share in her reactions to her unhappy dead and the discoveries she makes about the afterlife during her trip to Thailand. It also helped that the brothers had a strong lead in Angelica Lee, who won Best New Actress honors in Hong Kong and Taiwan for her work in this film. (The Pangs got honors for Best Visual and Sound Effects at the same awards ceremonies.) Tom Cruise bought the remake rights to the film. All this money and attention spells one word: S-E-Q-U-E-L.
Joey Wong (Shu Qi) Takes It and Takes It, in “The Eye 2”.
I’m happy to say the resulting film, The Eye 2 (Thai-HK, 2004, available on Region I DVD) is pretty good. This time the Pang Brothers give us Shu Qi (So Close, Stormriders)in one of the best performances of her career as a self-centered young woman named Joey Wong, who is involved in an affair with a married Thai named Sam (Jesdaporn Pholdee). Pregnant, and abandoned by her lover, she retires to a luxury hotel room in Bangkok and takes an overdose of sleeping pills. Discovered by the hotel staff, Joey's stomach is pumped at the hospital. During her recovery, she gets a quick glimpse of ghosts gathered around her bed. Though shaken, she chalks this first encounter with the restless dead up to a hallucination. Depressed Joey returns to Hong Kong, tormented by her lover’s desertion and wrestling with the question of whether or not to keep the child. There begins a series of stylishly executed set pieces as she stumbles upon the ghosts wherever she turns, each encounter more disturbing than the last. Many of these encounters land her in police precinct houses and hospitals, and she quickly gains a reputation as a crazed, suicidal, pregnant girl who suffers from delusions. The Pang’s pace these scenes very well, treating us to a series of increasingly frightening set pieces, each more imaginative and startling than the last. Joey’s encounters take their toll, and her nerves become increasingly frayed as time goes on. Much to her horror, she notices that one ghost in particular (Eugenia Yuan) seems to be following her, even taking control of her body at critical moments. She eventually recognizes the woman, as the ghost she watched reenact her own, more successful attempt to kill herself by flinging herself in front of a moving train. Finally taking the initiative, Joey investigates the woman’s past, and learns that seeing the dead isn’t her most pressing problem, which is inextricably intertwined with a severe conception of the Buddhist law of karma and the cycles of reincarnation. A few of these scenes feature welcome appearances by fight choreographer Phillip Kwok (Mad Dog in Hard Boiled playing the toughest looking monk I’ve ever seen.
At this point it becomes clear that the ability to see the spirits of the dead, while an essential part of Joey’s story, isn’t as important to this story than it was to Mun’s journey in the first Eye film. The Eye 2 is another story entirely, with an equally interesting, but different theme than its predecessor. Were the Pang Brothers to alter their presentation of ghosts (which remind viewers that the film is a sequel) they’d still have a perfectly good, stand-alone horror story about how an unwelcome new ability forces Joey into an wider awareness of things beyond her own selfish concerns. Though Joey’s it takes a while for Joey to take the initiative (and that moment of transition isn’t quite as convincing as it was in the first Eye film - perhaps because Angelica Lee’s Mun is a much more admirable and proactive character than Shu Qi’s Joey Wong), Shu Qi turns in a strong enough performance before and after that the lapse is easily forgiven. Shu Qi rarely gets the chance to exhibit the range shown in her independent films, Beijing Rocks, Millennium Mambo and Viva Erotica, and she makes the most of the chances her character provides here. Ultimately though, however strong her performance, or sound the script, what matters here is style, something the Pangs have in abundance, and bring to almost every project they participate in. They are the true spiritual heirs of the director like Tsui Hark, John Woo, Ronny Yu among others, who became leading lights of the Hong Kong film industry in the mid-80’s to the late 90’s. In other hands, The Eye 2, could have felt as routine as Infection described above. Thanks to the Pangs, it manages to rise above a bit above its genre roots, at least as much as the story’s conventional structure will allow.
Abnormal Beauty (Thailand-Hong Kong, 2004).
Nowhere is this more evident than Oxide Pang’s most recent solo effort as director, Abnormal Beauty (2004) which screens in cinemas in the UK this September, and will be released in an Region I DVD edition in the US this spring. The story of one young woman’s self destructive obsession with death, the movie could have easily become just another exploitation film, not unlike Dario Argento’s "gaillo yellow” sex and splatter movies of the seventies. Instead, Oxide Pang’s skillful, even bravura direction, the way he uses creative camera work, editing and sound cues, makes the audience share in the heroine’s growing madness. Until the introduction of some questionable plot elements in the films last third, Abnormal Beautycompares well with Roman Polanski’s classic 1965 thriller Repulsion, a film with which Abnormal Beauty shares a number of themes and narrative devices. I found myself wondering if Oxide Pang intended Abnormal Beauty as a homage of sorts, to the Polanski film, much as Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle and Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill films were tributes to Lau Kar-leung, Sammo Hung and Chang Cheh’s kung fu films of the sixties and seventies.
Polanski’s “Repulsion” (1965) with Catherine Deneueve.
In Repulsion Catherine Deneuve plays a young Belgian manicurist, Carole, who lives with her sister and her sister's fiancée in a cramped London flat. Fed up with caring for the reclusive, fearful young woman, the couple goes on an extended vacation, leaving Carole behind. Before long, Carole begins hallucinating: threatening, anonymous men appear in her mirror, hands reach out from the walls and molest her. Soon she is barely able to function. Her madness worsens until Carol imagines herself being raped in her bedroom, and she loses whatever tenuous grip on reality she had. When a concerned co-worker checks in on her, the story reaches its horrific climax. Though the same script could, in lesser hands, easily become a titillating piece of exploitive trash, Polanski’s and Deneuve’s approach to the material never falters. Where others might have taken the easy way out by resorting to full-on nudity or a gratuitous rape scene, Polanski inserts suggestive aural cues and quickly spliced in visual hints, to chart Carol’s descent into psychosis. He is also greatly aided by Catherine Deneuve's disciplined performance, which makes you believe in Carol’s madness. Together they keep the audience riveted to the screen, producing a masterpiece of psychological horror.
Jiney (Rose Wong) learns that Art can be Dangerous in “Abnormal Beauty”.
In Abnormal Beauty Race Wong plays Jiney, an accomplished art student. Though she wins award after award for her technical proficiency, on a personal level she’s deeply dissatisfied with her own work. Taking photographs one day with her roommate and lover, Jace (short for Jasmine, and played by Rose Wong, Race Wong’s sister – the two comprise a Singapore-based singing act called 2R) the couple happens upon a fatal car accident. Shocked at the bloody tableau, Jiney begins snapping pictures of the accident scene, at first cautiously, then with increasing fervor. With growing excitement, she realizes she’s finally found her “subject”, an absorbing thematic focus for her work. She begins searching for dead animals to photograph, and when that doesn’t satisfy her, she begins paying butchers kill animals in front of her. One day, while resting (masturbating?) in the bath, repressed traumatic childhood memories surface, in a sequence recalling Carol’s hallucinations in Repulsion. While these scenes aren’t entirely successful, the viewer (voyeur?) begins to wonder just how far Jiney will go to exorcise the energies released by her formerly repressed memories. She’s certainly clear about what she wants: to capture the moment life leaves the body, as a metaphor for the essential nature of art-making art, capturing and preserving a single moment for all eternity.
The first two thirds of the film are excellent. Even more so than Shu Qi in The Eye 2,Race brings Jiney to memorable life. While she isn’t the actress Deneueve is (few are), her portrayal of obsession growing into a dangerous madness is pretty convincing. (In contrast, Race’s co-stars Anson Leung and Rose Wong, turn in adequate performances as the dull young man who harbors a strong attraction to Jiney; and the loyal, if demanding, Jace. Fortunately the script doesn’t require too much more from them.) Especially engrossing are the numerous sequences of Jiney making art. Oxide Pang makes clever and creative use of the physical work of being an artist - cutting quickly between close ups of Jiney’s changing expressions to shots of her shooting film on the street, developing the film in her darkroom, working a visual idea with quickly sketched thumbnails, then transforming that idea via the broader motions of moving paint across canvas with brushes of various sizes - to trace Jiney’s enthusiasm and concentration, as it mutates into something nearing hysteria. Whether she is tracking a suicide victims descent from a rooftop using a camera equipped with a motor drive, tracing an imagined flow of blood from the top of a model’s head to her toes with a single flowing line of cadmium red, or taunting Anson sexually, in order to get him to assume even more distorted poses while “playing dead” for Jiney’s camera, Oxide Pang and Race Wong collaborate to make Jiney’s day-to-day descend into madness palpable. Jiney's psychological journey may not be novel, but the trademark Pang style and Race Wong's performance together more than compensate.
Some find fault with the final third of the film, saying it’s, “more ugly than compelling”, and at points sloppy, as though Oxide Pang lost control at some point, and made an ill-advised turn to a kind of lurid, even gratuitous fetishism. It’s true that elements of sadomasochism and sexual stalking enter the story at this point, but I thought the end of Jiney’s journey is perfectly in keeping with the downward spiral that got her there in the first place. In this Abnormal Beauty is akin to Repulsion and a more recent French film, Don’t Let Me Die in a Sunday, wherein sloppy, sexually obsessed, Parisians stumble from orgy to orgy until the meaningless of their lives becomes too much for some of them to bear. The protagonist’s nocturnal activities get progressively kinkier as their shared sexual addiction spurs them on to wilder encounters, but there ultimately comes a point where one is either consumed, like Jiney, or destroyed by personal insight into the barren hopelessness of their way of life, like Jean Marc Barr’s Ben, in Sunday.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 AM
By Won Kim
Winter chills are a good reason to give yourself a break, bundle up and watch a good solid drama. Here are a few films that would go well with crackers, a chunk of rich cheese (I suggest a stilton or brie) and a fortified wine (port or Night Train, depending on your budget).
36 Quai Des Orfevres (2004, France)
A house divided: Daniel Auteuil, Gerard Depardieu, and their respective ‘crews’, a department in mourning, in 36 Quai Des Orfevres.
Recipient of eight Cesar Award Nominations (the French Oscars) including Best Picture, 36 Quai Des Orfevres is a drama about office politics that turn lethal and divide the Paris Police Department. It features fine performances from two of France's greatest actors, Daniel Auteuil and Gerard Depardieu. The two men play the commanders of two elite units in the Paris police force. They also were friends once, until a woman left one for the other. Now they find themselves rivals for the leadership of the department. The prize goes to the man who takes down a pack of vicious armed robbers, who go after armored trucks, and routinely leave dead men in their wake.
Leo Vrinks (Auteuil), the “good cop”, gets the nod early. Every one expects him to take control of the department. He commands the sincere friendship, respect and loyalty of his men, not the least because he shares the risks, as well as the rewards, of their work. At the same time, he manages to maintain circumscribed, but long-standing, relations with ex-cons, madams and career criminals, ties which prove as costly as they are useful as he presses his criminal informants for clues on the “van gang”. Lacking Vrinks' sterling qualities, Denis Klein (Depardieu) still lusts for the position. Long having become a man who uses rather than relates to people, he takes unnecessary risks in the field, exposing his fellow officers to costly risks and he isn’t above strong arming, bribing or blackmailing those who are in his way. When he happens upon damaging information about Vrinks’ underworld ties, he soon shows there is no depth he will sink to get what he wants. Years pass. Vrinks emerges from prison, Klein is the Chief of Police, and a strange justice evolves from what follows.
The cinematography (and the star power confrontation) are both reminiscent of Michael Mann’s Heat and the entire cast give great performances, even the smallest role leaving an impression on the whole. The score is fantastic. With the sole exception of one all-too-convenient plot twist towards the end, 36 Quai Des Orfevres is an excellent film: I wouldn’t be surprised if we soon saw an American remake someday, titled perhaps, “One Police Plaza”. Recommended.
Double Agent (also titled, Comrade, 2003, Korea)
Set in the early 1980’s, Double Agent focuses on the career of Lim Byong-Ho (Han Seok-Gyu), a North Korean specialist in psychological warfare who works out of the North Korean embassy in East Berlin. Shot while defecting to the West, he is met on the other side of Berlin’s infamous Checkpoint Charlie by officers of South Korean Central Intelligence, and is whisked off to an infamous KCIA installation at Namsam Mountain where he is interrogated and tortured until he convinces them of his sincere desire to defect. Though the South Korean’s are never entirely convinced, they put Lim to work training South Korean commandos.
Two years later, Lim earns the trust of Baek Seung-Chul (Jeon Ho-Jin), a rising star in the KCIA, who promotes him to intelligence analyst. Accompanied by a KCIA agent wherever he goes, off duty he still manages to tap into a network of long-term, deep cover North Korean agents operating in the South. When he passes along information that results in the deaths of 16 South Korean commandos, the KCIA tightens surveillance of suspected North Korean agents nationwide with dangerous and dramatic results.
Double Agentshares much in common with Martin Ritt’s excellent film adaptation of John Le Carre's The Spy Who Came in From the Cold: both sides are shown to be equally deceptive, cold-blooded and brutal. Though there is very little overt violence (though when there is, it’s appropriately stunning) we never loose sight of the fact that the characters are walking a tightrope, and could be arrested, tortured or simply shot dead, at any moment. I’ve seen Han Suk-gyu in three films, and he’s never been as convincing as he is here. His scenes with Jeon Ho-Jin are suspenseful even when the two men are simply chatting in an office, sharing a drink or a meal. Song Jae-Ho is equally convincing as an elderly and kind family doctor with a chilling double life. Ko So-Young plays Lim’s courier, primary contact with the network and romantic interest, Yeon Su-Mi. Some argue that Han and Ko lack the necessary chemistry for their characters’ mutual attraction to be convincing, or that Ko shows none of the awareness her character should evince. It’s true, Ko’s performance was somewhat subdued, but I think her character was supposed to be a quite person, even passive, capable of disappearing at a moments notice. Recommended.
Double Agent/Comrade is available in all-region and region 3 editions.
Spider Forest (2004, Korea)
Truly) slow-boil psychological horror in Spider Forest
Though Spider Forest has the structure of a mystery-thriller, first and foremost, it’s a study of one man’s profound grief and anger. There is also a slow middle passage that will turn off viewers looking for more chills and spills. While this film will appeal to critics, I question how well it will do with general audiences despite strong performances and at times stunning cinematography.
Kang Min (Gam Woo-sung) wakes up in the middle of a forest in the dead of night. Stumbling to a nearby cabin, he discovers the bloodied bodies of his boss and his girlfriend, Su-young (Kang Kyeong-heon). Through a window he sees a dark figure rushing away from the cabin and gives chase. Struck down by a speeding car, he awakens in a hospital with a severe head injury and soon finds being interrogated by Detective Choi (Jang Hyeon-seong) who also happens to be a close friend.
We learn that Kang, a TV producer, lost his wife and soon began to drink heavily. Though Su-young comes into his life and while things brighten up for a while, his performance slips at work and his job is on the line. Assigned to investigate rumors that a remote forest is haunted, he travels there to interview a local shopkeeper, Min Su-In (Suh Jung) about the local legends. A mysterious caller leads him to a painful discovery,… but here there are significant gaps in his memory. The pace of the story slows as we move back and forth through Kang’s memory, Su-In’s stories, and Choi attempts to fill in the missing spaces in Kang’s memory, until everything comes to a head in the films final thirty minutes.
While nothing remains unresolved, neither is everything is spelled out for the viewer and the film definitely slows down between the set-up and conclusion. Fortunately, that middle passage is often quite moving, and many images are memorable. The principals are uniformly excellent, delivering nuanced, thoughtful performances. Suh Jung in particular, who plays Kang Min’s wife as well as a village shop keeper will surprise those who remember her as Hee-Jin, in The Isle (2000). Stylistically the film is reminiscent of Krystoff Krieslewski’s Blue, and Jacques Rivette’s Histoire de Marie et Julien though Spider Forest does a far better job of integrating the story’s supernatural elements than the latter film. Spider Forest will appeal to anyone who likes Bergman’s intense psychodramas and deliberately-paced ghost stories like The Others, preferably both.
A Region I DVD edition is due out in the third week of October. Recommended for patient, adult art-crowd audiences.
Seven Swords (2005)
When 17th century ass must be kicked, “who you gonna’ call?”
I find it hard to say anything definitive about Tsui Hark's epic Seven Swords, which opened the Venice Festival this year. The problem is, to the best of my knowledge, the definitive edition of the movie has yet to be screened. Tsui Hark’s original cut ran nearly four hours long: two editions are currently available, a 115 minute version (a bad transfer, with incomplete subtitles), and a 153 minute edition, which is quite nice. I’ve seen both, and they suffer from gaps in the story, not so much in the main narrative, which is pretty simple, but in the subplots, romantic and otherwise, involving members of the large ensemble cast.
Based on a novel, The Seven Swords of Mt. Tian, Seven Swords is set in the early 1660, Manchurians took over the central government of China and established the Qing Dynasty. Throughout the country, sporadic revolts broke out, led by nationalist who didn’t want to be governed by foreigners. The new government responded by setting up an immediate ban on the practice of martial arts. The problem was in those Hobbesian times, many rural villagers practiced marital arts due to the constant threat of roving bandits. Thus Fire-Wind (Song Hong Lei) a holdover from the previous administration gathers an officially sanctioned army of bastards (who look like a cross between the biker Mongols of Disney’s Mulan and the kung fu gypsies of [i]Pact Des Loups), and leads them on a campaign akin to Sherman’s March across the South after the American Civil War. Cutting across rural Northwest China, they work their way from village to village, often indiscriminately slaughtering the entire populations of small and villages. One last holdout "The Martial Village", the last holdout lies directly in his path.
Fu Quinhzu, (Lau Kar_Leung, a veteran fight choreographer) plays a retired executioner who also served the previous government and witnesses the horror that his one-time protégé, Fire-Wind wrecks on one village. Seeking to atone past sins, he recruits two young people from the Martial Village, Yuanyin (Charlie Young in the best period role of her career) and Han (Lu Yin), and travels to Mt. Heaven to seek help from the Odin-like Master Shadow-Glow, who leads a hardcore school of sword fighters on Mt. Heaven’s rocky slopes. Once there, Shadow Glow gives the them three powerful swords (including a weapon Fu Quinhzu abandoned years before) and lends Fu the services of four of his badass disciples, including Chu (action star/choreographer Donnie Yen), a Korean ex-slave, and Yang (Leon Lai), a reticent outcast from a shadowy legion of martial arts rebels, to go back to Martial Village and clean house. Simple enough.
Dark and dramatic, Seven Swords is shot in a style that recalls both Tsui Hark’s 1996 deconstruction of the myths behind wuxia novels, The Blade, though the lighting is much more naturalistic than that nihilistic masterpiece, and a John Ford western. Tsui Hark certainly has not lost his ability to frame stunning images of warriors in motion. Every shot is beautifully composed, the action fast and furious, and the weapons positively medieval in look and effect. There’s one scene early on in the film, where old Fu actually throws a horse across a wide stream. If you liked "The Blade", the first "Once Upon a Time in China"[ film, "Musa the Warrior", "Sword in the Moon" and "Seven Samurai", you should like Seven Swords. Fans of “blood and guts” action will have plenty to feast their eyes upon (though I must concede they might also find the editing choppy in places). The film’s problem sequences are those that take place between the action set pieces, where the film’s numerous subplots come to the fore: Fu’s regret for past misdeeds, Yang’s reticence about his past, Chu’s attempt to free Fire-Wind’s concubine, another Korean slave, mentally as well as physically, a romantic triangles involving child hood friends Yuanyin, Han and the village school-teacher, and the relationship between Yang and an orphan boy he takes under his wing, etc. The actors do what they can with the script, but the characters remain fairly shallow throughout, and most of the subplots lack the clear resolutions of those in Musa the Warrior, all in all, a far more satisfactory period adventure.
The problem is, until the promised full four-hour cut of the film is released, we will not know whether the disjointed feel of the side stories were the result of cuts intended to allow distributors to pack more screenings when the film was shown in theatres in Asia. Compounding matters is Tsui Hark’s fidelity to the original novel in which the characters may have been little more than one-dimensional cut-outs standing for ideals, or base evil, and little else. Another mitigating factor is that the story actually comprises only a single chapter of the original novel (much like Ang Lee’s Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon which was based on the fourth chapter of a five volume story). Having not read the novel, I cannot tell the reader whether or not the subplots introduced in this film will are to be resolved later on in the novel, and Tsui Hark decided not to give away their resolutions yet. (The film did well in Asia, and Tsui Hark has promised sequels.) Thus] the jury is still out on this film, at least until I see the director's four hour version, which hopefully will flesh out the personalities of the seemingly neglected characters (like the two younger swordsmen from Mt. Tian), and bring the films many subplots to Fu’s past to a much more satisfactory conclusion.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 09:04 AM
When I started this little project as a lark, I had no idea it would be so...awful. And now, per Brent's own review of the same film, I have brought innocents into the line of fire like I was some sort of rogue FBI agent. Or some other trite-assed movie standby. Like the hero of our movie here, A Man Apart!
Now, I do enjoy a bad movie now and again. Just not terrible ones. A bad movie lightly insults your intelligence, not unlike a close friend calling you a 'magnificent bastard' is an insult. Sure, it's a bit of a light slap in the face but not one to cause overmuch discomfort, or displeasure. But where a movie like Deep Blue Sea is the figurative slap in the face, A Man Apart is more of a heaping cup of warm, slimy, vaguely-mint flavored tobacco spit to the face.
I say mint flavored, as there is a minor silver lining in this mess of a movie: there is a lot of violence, and there are strippers. And let’s face it: the bar has been set pretty low on this one.
So the main problem of course, is the man himself. Vin Diesel. Mumbly, wooden Vin Diesel. At times bearded, other times goateed, sometimes barking angry statements…all with the same unclear and imprecise delivery of a guy with his mouth full of walnuts.
His character is that of a former gang-banger turned top DEA undercover agent, something which I believe to be fucking impossible. It’s hard enough to believe that the DEA would train and arm former violent criminal in the first place, let along give him the authority to extradite criminals from foreign locales. Yet somehow, the crusty old codger who seems to be in a position of power in the DEA has done so, amazingly without the benefit of a first name. At least, one I could discern. Not that he matters, he’s there to play two roles: the kindly old boss, and eventually the sadly disapproving boss. He’ll go far in this Hollywood business; I look forward to his role as ‘Doorman’ in an upcoming episode of Law and Order: CSI.
Case in point is a laughably unconvincing drug buy that Vin is taking part of. Let me set the scene: after arranging the deal with a man who looks like the scummier lovechild of Eric Roberts and Tommy Lee, Vin is scanned with a portable metal detector by a shady individual in a cowboy hat. “Just making sure you’re not wired,’ is Sketchy Hat’s explanation. Quick on his feet, Vin whips out his cell phone, flips it open, and proceeds to run it over Sketchy Hat Guy. Master of the witty riposte, Vin replies “Just making sure you ain’t a cop,” as he runs his obvious Nokia over the man’s body. I was surprised that he didn’t make little beepy noises as he did it. Yet somehow, this ludicrousness is grudgingly accepted by Sketchy Hat, and the deal continues on.
Clever! More proof that he’s unsuited for this line of work comes when Sketchy Hat reveals that he was behind the attempted murder of VIN, and the successful murder of VIN’s boring, cannon fodder wife. Actual Mamet-esque dialogue: “You heard about how we shot that cop’s stupid bitch wife.” “Oh, when you shot that cop’s stupid bitch wife?” “Yeah, we shot that cop’s stupid bitch wife.” So like any cool customer, Vin then beats Sketchy Hat to death with his bare hands. Clearly, some bugs still need to be worked out in the ‘criminals-> DEA agent program.
And of course, this violent beating (at least it was a really violent beating, the violence made up for some of the terribleness of the film as a whole) queers the deal which then leads to the most confusing gunfight in movie history. See, Vin brought backup…but so did Sketchy Hat. In fact, Sketchy Hat brought a guy dressed like a cop (with a gigantic neck tattoo that just screamed ‘hey! I’m not a real cop!’) to…get shot in the back by Larenz Tate, playing Vin Diesel’s partner. He excels at saying ‘damn!’ a lot. Really brought that dialogue to life, there dude. Then the other undercover DEA guys bust out the machine guns, and then Sketchy Hat’s undercover bangers bust out THEIR machine guns and a whole lot of gunplay breaks out. Which I’d have enjoyed more had I the slightest idea who was shooting who. Thankfully it eventually boils down to the characters with actual names (tho I cannot accurately recall them, and will just call them Vin and Larenz) versus the anonymous gangsters. Cars blow up. The gangsters all die. The deal is soured. I am very much confused.
Shit, if you’re going to be a bad movie: FINE. Suck out loud! All I ask is that you are somehow entertaining, and not confusing. And somehow, a movie as stone fucking dumb as A Man Apart manages to confuse the hell out of me. Groovy.
The worst part of watching this was not the incredibly unbelievable antics of Vin DEAsel. No, it was in fact having to watch him try to act all romantic and tragic regarding his dead wife. Happy Diesel! Sad Diesel. Wah!
Happy Diesel likes to have barbecues at his beach house with his partner, family, superiors in the DEA, and active crime figures. They engage in light (bad) banter, and miller light in the clear bottle. Vin and his forgettable wife engage in salsa dancing at sunset, and shared clothing. They’re fucking boring, which is the greatest sin of Happy Diesel.
Sad Diesel though, is nigh-unbearable. She dies after maybe ten minutes of trying to be endearing, and her death pushes Vin over the edge. When she lived he was clean shaven, yet he now grows a beard, then shaves to a goatee. Which is a lot like the ‘Evil Spock’ thing, where new facial hair equals a different character. He leaves the police tape up over his broken windows. He does not fix the broken windows, preferring instead to let sand and beach debris blow into the ruins of his life. He sits on the beach and morosely stares into the ocean smoking cigarettes and drinking. Only he’s smoking Marlboro lights and drinking airplane-sized bottles of booze. Like a pussy. Johnny Cash spits on your grief from the grave, Beard Diesel! Whiskey and unfiltereds, pussy.
Doesn’t sound that bad, eh? Sounds like a portrayal of a man in grief, eh? Fuck that. Well check this: when he wakes up in the hospital after his bullet wound-induced coma or nap (oddly his beard is full but his head is still perfectly shaven) he thrashes about in his bed, unable to accept that his wife is dead. Irrationally he tries to escape from his bed, where his partner Larenz Tate struggles to keep him in place. Tate also struggles to find as many ways to say ‘damn!’ in an exasperated tone, but that’s the rest of the movie. So he takes Vin to his wife’s grave at night, where Vin goes to her grave…then he goes back to work.
My friends, this is an affront to Film. In crappy movies like this where the hero’s wife/partner/son/dog is killed unfairly, the graveside scene traditionally includes a heartfelt cry to the heaves. Be it a “WHYYYYY?!” or a “NOOOOO!” one demands the mournful cry to the heavens. And we were denied. Denied! I didn’t ask for much out of this catbox of a movie, but dammit I demand that you give me the clichés that I need to deem this movie ‘laughably bad!’ Without it, I have nothing.
And that’s where I am. I got nothing left. I could talk about the evil guy with the tattooed eyebrows that will haunt my dreams forevermore, I could talk about Tim “dude from Deadwood” Olyphant’s turn as the duckweed tanning salon manager by day/drug overboss by night. I could talk about the lunacy behind the DEA’s decision to put their ex-gangbanger/top undercover agent on psych leave AFTER he fucks up the drug deal in spectacular fashion, or perhaps how the Top Evil Drug Boss killed off his entire damned family to get Vin to trust him when he clearly could have made something up; seeing as Vin didn’t do much in the way of fact-checking.
But I’m spent. It’s a shitty movie, you didn’t need me to tell you that, and I regret every having taken on this project. But I shall endure!
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:04 AM
by Ryan Higgins and the Your Mom's Basement staff
It's here. The most hyped comic of the year is upon us. And it doesn't even star Wolverine. A comic so big that it needed not one, but FOUR lead-in mini-series. And a one shot prelude story before that. Infinite Crisis #1 by DC Comics is out and we had a group of retainer-wearing fanboys ask Fan Favorite Retailer Ryan Higgins 20-Odd Questions about THE BIGGEST EVENT TO EVER HIT COMICS (excluding Crisis on Infinite Earths, the Death of Phoenix, The Dark Knight Returns, Watchmen, and Inferno).
1. I’m sorry—I don’t read any DC books. How much of this rips off House of M?
Infinite Crisis #1 rips off House of M quite a bit, actually. The series opens with the JLA and the JSA meeting about what to do with Zatanna, who had used her powers to mind- wipe the Secret Society of Super Villains in JLA #119. They’re traveling to Paradise Island to meet Wonder Woman and Zatanna, when all of reality falls under attack. The world goes white, and when they awaken…
Reread Infinite Crisis #1, knowing what you know about Wanda.
2. How did they fit an infinite crisis within a finite miniseries?
Very carefully.
3. Is the “Infinite Crisis” about trying to find Power Girl a bra?
That’s not much of a crisis, if you ask me.
4. Okay, seriously now…does the issue contain exposition that explains what happened in the four tie-in mini-series (The OMAC Project, Day of Vengeance, Villains United, and The Rann/Thanagar War), or can you follow things pretty easily if you’ve not read them?
Sure, you can follow along without having read the four mini-series (or six, if you count DC Special: The Return of Donna Troy and the last JLA arc), but I wouldn’t recommend it. In fact, I’d suggest not only reading all six of ‘em, but also JSA, JSA: Classified, Teen Titans, Outsiders, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Manhunter and Crisis on Infinite Earths as well.
Just so you know: I take cash, all major credit cards, and PayPal.
5. What’s up with Booster Gold? Does he go back…to the future?
According to Infinite Crisis scribe and all-around DCU architect Geoff Johns: “Yes, Booster Gold has retreated to the future.” I bet we’ll see more of Booster, though.
6. So, the One Man Army Corps has how many members, then?
Is this a trick question? I guess OMAC has zero members, since the only human being had a bit of a neck accident…poor Maxwell Lord! When will the violent hatred for the Keith Giffen/J.M. DeMatteis era end!?
7. Now, after “the death of magic” in the DCU, how is Wonder Woman not just a big-ass pile of clay?
Magic, much like energy, cannot be destroyed…and with the Spectre running amok and trying to destroy magic, all he’s doing so far is letting more of it loose on the Earth. The destruction of the Rock of Eternity released the Seven Deadly Sins imprisoned within it, and the death of the wizard Shazam doesn’t exactly bode well for the DCU.
Thank god Billy remembered the magic word that transforms him into Captain Marvel before he went splat. Magic always seems to fail you when you’re 30,000 feet in the air, doesn’t it?
8. Do those crazy kids from Infinity, Inc. appear? And as an aside, what was their incorporation date? And whatever happened to their Infinity Sweatshops?
Geoff Johns said in an interview that 200-300 costumed characters will appear in Infinite Crisis, so it’s a good bet that members of Infinity, Inc. will show up at some point. Jade, Power Girl, Atom-Smasher (Nuklon) and Dr. Fate (Silver Scarab) will all show up for sure, and—god willing—so will Northwind.
9. Okay…so is Geoff Johns’ Batman a nut job, an asshole, a super-genius, a suave millionaire, or “The goddamn” Batman?
Batman’s a nut job in Detective Comics, an asshole in Gotham Knights, a super-genius in Batman, a suave millionaire in that one Justice League Unlimited episode where he goes on a date with Wonder Woman, and “The goddamn” Batman in All-Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder. Talk about an “identity crisis!” Hah!
I’m…I’m sorry. Anyway, Johns’ Batman is exactly what he needs to be: A man who can’t trust his best friends.
10. And does Batman hit any children? Maybe women? Leslie Thompkins?
Frank Miller’s not writing this, so no.
11. What the hell is Pariah doing there?
Pariah? He’s nowhere to be seen in Infinite Crisis #1. Now, Villains United #6… that’s another story.
12. Psycho-Pirate: Do they ever get into who’s really under there?
Roger Hayden, the Psycho-Pirate, was an essential part of Crisis on Infinite Earths. Recruited by the Anti-Monitor and given unlimited power over the emotion-controlling Medusa Mask, Psycho-Pirate used his powers to seduce and manipulate the people of all the multiple Earths the Anti-Monitor was attempting to destroy.
Being one of the only people to be outside of reality when the Crisis ended, Psycho-Pirate remembers the multiverse, but it’s driven him quite mad. Although he vanished into nothingness in Grant Morrison’s groundbreaking Animal Man run in the late 1980s, Psycho-Pirate recently resurfaced in JSA: Classified and Villains United.
For the full story on why he’s back and what he wants with Power Girl, keep your eyes peeled for JSA: Classified #4.
13. Power Girl: Do they ever get into what’s really under there?
Look for Power Girl’s origins to be fully…uh, revealed…in JSA: Classified #4 as well.
14. Anti-Monitor? Uncle-Observing-a-Bunch? Cousin-Watching-You-Shower?
Not yet, but I think you’re on the right track. I doubt we’ll see the return of the multiple Earths, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see more people from Crisis on Infinite Earths popping up in this series.
Wait, did I say “more?” Interesting, eh?
15. Does it get to the real issue of Infinite Crisis as was alluded to by Geoff Johns and DC Executive Editor Dan Didio a while back?
Each of the mini-series and tie-ins get addressed in the first issue, but there’s no real “plot” as of yet—just a giant hole that someone needs to fix before things go boom.
16. The crazy rumors run rampant: Wally West dead; Bruce Wayne in Arkham Asylum; Superman giving birth to Lex Luthor’s twins. Is any fanboy speculation confirmed in this first issue?
Superman is looking a bit bigger than normal…
No, there’s no foreshadowing of the events that we’ll see during *52. Except for that whole “Spectre with the Bat Symbol on his chest” and “Superman being dead” thing.
17. GEOFF JOHNS!
Ah, yes, Geoff Johns, DC’s Caesar of Cohesion, and Sultan of Sequence. Keeping track of the continuity of 60-some-odd monthly titles must be very difficult, but he handles the task nicely. I’ve seen him likened to Roy Thomas before, and that’s not a bad comparison. There’s something fun about trying to figure out how this square peg fits into that round hole, and Geoff gets paid to do it. Between Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, Judd Winick, and Mark Waid, the DCU’s future (and past, and present, and alternate realities, and divergent timelines) looks pretty good.
18. Do the Big Three really have a Big Spat…or is it more like a Big Hissy-fit?
Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman have been having Big Spats for a few years now, but Infinite Crisis #1 takes it to a new extreme. The Big Three…together no more!
“But they need to be inspired. And let’s face it, ‘Superman’…the last time you really inspired anyone was when you were dead.”
Kinda hard to take that one back, Batman.
19. Will people be saddened by any deaths in this issue?
Of course! I’m sure there were people out there who were saddened by the death of the Supermen of America in OMAC #6. Look, people: This series is all about death, change, cleaning house, good guys vs. bad guys, alternate realities, the multiverse, and fitting as many characters into one panel as possible. Don’t bitch and complain because Phantom Lady gets skewered. Bitch and complain if the story sucks—which it most assuredly does not.
20. So, uh... is it any good?
See above. You really have to look at what DC has been trying to do over the last few years to really appreciate this type of book; throughout the later part of the 1990s and into the early 2000s, most comic publishers had very few company-wide crossovers that carried lasting repercussions. There hasn’t been a superhero crossover this large in scope since Infinity Gauntlet. Heroes die, friendships end, villains win, and the world spirals toward unavoidable chaos. And this is just the first issue. What’s not to like?
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Read 20-Odd Questions: GHOST RIDER AND POWER GIRL
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 01:00 AM
I AM THE LAW!
Random toy pics!
These are just the toys that stood out to me, that made me think 'shit, I might consider thinking about buying some of these if I had a lot of extra money.'
I want a sword. These are made by the same guy who made the blades for the Wolverine guy who was at the con.
The Ghost of Starscream!
Devil's Rejects figures!
Zim's House playset!
Army of Darkness figs!
Pro's and famous people!
John Paul Leon! I got to talk to him about Wintermen for a bit. He's psyched that it's finally out there, and was happy that I brought it up. Nice dude.
Tommy Lee Edwards! We shared some brief words about his Question mini. Sadly I don't think there'll be another one, as the sales weren't really there and they weren't too hyped up about the series to boot. And no wthat I think of it, I should have asked both him and Leon about what it was like to be working with Milestone back in the day, as that's where I'd first seen both of them work. But hell, the place was packed and I didn't have much time to talk with these cats. Psyched to have met them however, and I hope that my fanboyish 'dude, you're awesome!' slavering made their days a little brighter.
John Cassady, signing away!
David Mack blocking the shot of his hot girlfriend!
Marc Silvestri signs for the people! And he was signing all sorts of things, and doing sketches too. Seemed like a very gracious dude. And that line my friends, was very frigging long. Deeper than anybody else's aside from either Foley or Dushku. That's his wife on the left there.
She was nice enough to pose for a picture.
Famous media people!
Romia Lamorte! Star of Buffy! So I gather! We may not want to use this photo!
Lou Ferrigno has really let himself go. No, I kid! That's Edwin Neal, from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Nice fella. I said hi, and said that I dug him in 'Saw, and then enjoyed a brief awkward silence after I realized I knew nothing about his film career otherwise, and that I had no interest in purchasing a glossy. Sorry, dude.
I was afraid of Lou Ferrigno. He looked pissed. And huge. Fucking huge. And couple that fear with my natural indifference...ad I moved on.
MICK FOLEY! And his line was so frigging long...I should have stayed in line. I should have. I'd have loved to have met the dude, or (*gasp*) shook his hand. But rather than wait in line for an hour I just stealthed in and snapped a photo real quick then walked away and shouted "BANG, BANG!" He didn't even look up. I weep inside.
Eliza Dushku
Her line for autographs: the longest. Seriously. Maybe a hundred deep at the height of her signing period I'd guess. And she had a squad of WW volunteers in place to warn we who were too cheap to spring for the autograph to move along after our picture was taken. Oddly, there were more teen girls in that line than sweaty fanboys.
...because they, like me; were too cheap to spring for the personal autograph. They were all around me, snapping away from the side. I think this pic was my fifth attempt to get one in but I was stymied by the legion of fanboys getting in my way. So many shots of lank, greasy-headed fanboys getting into the frame of my picture. Bah!
Geeks!
My people! The great unwashed. Yes, 'fanboys stink' jokes are cheap, cheap shots. And as it was so damned hot in the Expo that day, I probably shouldn't be talking smack. But I at least brough deodorant. For the most part, I will let the pictures speak for themselves.
Snikt!
Uh...I was aiming for a Klingon. Yes. A Klingon.
And lastly: myself...and Superman. The strap got in the way of this pic, but I didn't want to keep Superman waiting for another pic. He's Superman! He has places to go!
Star Wars! Talkin' bout those Star Wars...
What is it about Star Wars fans that leads them to create such kickass costumes? I swear.
Boba Fett! Screw Jango Fett! Boba!
Your obligatory Stormtroopers.
Said Stormtroopers were cool enough to feature breast cancer awareness ribbons on their shoulders. Breaking character yes, but I thought it was pretty cool of 'em.
Middle-aged, generic Jedi lady!
And what's this?
Just the coolest damn Star Wars thing I have ever seen! It's R2-R9! A replica astromech droid created by one Jerry Greene of Cranston RI. A remote-controlled droid, it made all the sounds including that weird-ass 'Artoo screech' that the same bot made in the film in which it was destroyed. Check out his homepage for more info on the making of this thing. It was damned cool.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 06:00 AM
