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Gary Walters' Wizard World Chicago Con Diary: Portrait of a Writer
by Gary Walters
FRIDAY AUGUST 5th
5:30 AM Up most of the night! So excited about Chicago! The Big Windy! All packed, I think. I really wanted to have my Teal'c costume ready by now but it looks like I'll be doing Jack O'Neill one more year.
6:00 AM Driver seems to be running late.
6:05 AM No driver.
6:10 AM Still no driver.
6:12 AM Wish I drove!
7:00 AM Driver never showed. Had to arrange other means of transportation. Sometimes it sucks having to depend on others. But sometimes it can be rewarding, too. Anyway, I'm finally at the airport. I'm kind of anal about flying (who isn't after 9-11, LOL), and like to get to the airport a little early. For security and everything. And there's always ways to kill time at the airport if you end up getting there a little bit too much early.
9:00 AM Got yelled at for reading magazines in the newsstand. $4.00 for a bagel? Seriously?
10:00 AM Watching CNN. Same damn stories over and over. Wish I had an iPod. Those look cool. B-O-R-E-D. Let us on the plane already! $2.00 for a soda?
11:00 AM Finally boarded the plane. Getting excited about Wizard World! Chicago! Man, this is cool. Can you believe they charged $4.00 for a hot dog?
3:00 PM And... they lost my luggage. All I have to my name is what's in my carry on. And that's mostly empty for carrying back comics. Man, I shoud have packed my suitcases myself. I'll be even more upset pissed off if it turns out I don't have my outfit.
3:10 PM Yep. Outfit's in the lost bag. Darn darn darn darn darn. Alright. Okay. Lemonade. Better repack this bag and catch the shuttle bus.
5:00 PM For goodness sake. Did you know there are TWO Hyatts? And that the Hyatt Rosemont IS NOT the Hyatt by the Rosemont convention center? I'm wiped. I'm going to just start fresh tomorrow. Another day and all.
7:10 PM You have to specify a non-smoking room. I really should have made the reservation myself.
8:00 PM $7 for a hamburger?
SATURDAY AUGUST 6th
7:00 AM Friggin' wake up call. I do not feel well. At all. Eyes are watering. Nasel congested.
11:00 AM NOT. FEELING. WELL.
11:15 AM CRAP.
2:30 PM Cable here sucks.
6:30 PM Someone did pack some medicine in my suitcase! THANK YOU! And thank you, Benadryl! Finally feeling better. Finally. Wizard World!! CHICAGO!!!
8:00 PM Spiderman 2 is on. Can't beat that. Best superhero movie ever. Way beter than Superman 2 and X-Men 2 and Batman 2. The characters are so real. And they grow. Peter Parker develops a lot and by the end everyone knows he's Spiderman, creating conflict for the next movie. Which I hope stars Venom, Spiderman's evil doppelganger and his true arch-enemy. Venom kicks ass. Cna you imagine him all CGI? I wonder if Sony (the movie company that makes Spiderman) is here at Wizard World?
10:30 PM Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Arnold's in good shape for a 60 year old politician! The governator comes back in time again. This time to governate a evil girl robot. They drive around a bunch. But you can't escape fate. John Connor must grow up to lead the resistance. Connor's played by the guy from that Carnivale show. Which is also on HBO. Coincidence? Clare Danes is cool. I think I like this one second most. After TS, but before the first one.
SUNDAY AUGUST 7th
10:00 AM $16 for a buffet?
11:00 AM Line.
11:24 AM Line. Line. Line.
11:45 AM Wow. This place is huge. There's so much stuff! Way bigger than Wizard World Philly. WAY! The big Windy! Chicago! But $3.50 for an ATM? WTF?
12:00 PM Bought so much swag already! They had the old McFarlane Youngblood action figures! I got a Green Lantern t-shirt! Hal Jordan's back! And they had the Crossgen trades super cheap!
1:00 PM I need to plug this great comic I found at Wizard World Chicago. This thing is fricking awesome. I hope I can get my comic looking this good. They even got a glossy cover for it. It's called "The Soulscythe" and this character fights demons.
That was great. It was just a preview, but you should totally check it out once it reaches stores! I know I will!
So cool.
2:00 PM Holy crap! Adam Hughes was at this convention!
2:30 PM So was that guy who draws the weird funny looking people comics. Did that Ultimate Team Up issue with the Ultimate Fantastic Four.
4:00 PM Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. So much to see. This convention was awesome. It was a lot to take in in just one day. But anymore than that would probably have been too much to handle. And it was cool meeting some fellow YMBers! And to that guy I met in artists' alley, send me your email, I can't find where I wrote it down. So to sum up: This convention was cool. Make sure you make plans to attend Wizard World Chicago next year! I've got a plane to catch. And don't worry, I'm not checking any luggage this time! LOL!
Read Volume 1, Issue 4 of The Tricks of Turning Pro.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:00 AM
Vin Diesel once got into screaming contest with a panda bear.
How did we get here? And why? My writing partner here, J. Brent Stewart feigns confusion over the origins of this little venture, but here begins the tale. Gather 'round children, and let me tell you a tale!
This came on the heels of my review of Diesel's magnum opus: The Fast and the Furious, the heartfelt story about how Vin Diesel really likes to drive fast cars. Over snifters of brandy, we reclined in Brent's voluminous film library and embarked upon a rousing debate over the merits of this, and other Diesel films. Sadly, I must report that we did not come to agree. "My dear Goodrich: watching a Vin Diesel movie is a lot like falling into an outhouse while you're hopped up on crystal meth," said he, tugging at the waxen tips of his mustache. "-you're too fucked up to realize what you've gotten into, but you're pretty sure that it stinks."
I gasped in shock, the strain of said gasp sending my ruffled ascot flying across the room where it landed upon his rack of polo mallets. "Good God, man! Do you have any idea what you're saying?" I turned red with anger at his careless words, no small trick due to my natural beigeness. "He's not that bad. Didn't you like Pitch Black? That was pretty dope."
Again with the mustache twirling, Brent considered my impassioned words. "True. But still, he's crap. You said it yourself in the Fast and the Furious review." And with that he hawked up a loogie of amazing proportions, and spat it into the roaring fireplace.
"No kind sir, I said that that particular movie was crap, yet I enjoyed it nonetheless." I was growing irritated with this line of conversation. Is not a man allowed to enjoy a film based on it's own merit, no atter how dubious said merits actually are? It is not as if to enjoy a terrible movie means that you yourself are terrible. Why not go 'slumming' in the video store? Must every movie be Oscar quality? Must every movie be an 'indie darling?'
Vin Diesel is a famed yachtsman and privateer. What queen does he report to? The Sea.
I say thee nay! Movies can be art, but above all they must be entertaining. And if one is the pop culture gourmand that I and Mr. Stewart aspire to be, one must shake it up!- and take it offroad, to use an ill-advised car metaphor. And sometimes one must venture beyond the classic film, beyond the criticaly acclaimed, yes even beyond the cult! One must sometimes seek entertainment among the crap! The dreck! The trashy movies! But how to prove my point?!
"Are you talking to me?" I jerked up as Brent spoke, a silvery strand of saliva connecting my lower lip to my burgundy dinner jacket. "You...you've been staring into the fireplace and mumbling for the past five ten minutes."
"Sir!" I launched mysef up from my seat and whirled to face him directly. Sensing an electricity in the air, Brent leapt up as well, tho with more of a confused air than determined. "I demand satisfaction, sir!" And with that, I pulled off my lacy riding glove and slapped him full in his mustachioed face. "I challenge you good sir, to join me in a gauntlet of Vin Diesel movies!" Grimly, he tentatively touched his reddened face and called me a dick.
And now, here we are! Starting with The Chronicles of Riddick!
EDIT: all thanks to the Vin Diesel Fact Generator for the educational infotainment!
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Freakshow
by J. Brent Stewart
In my time as an ambulatory geek I’ve visited a variety of comic conventions, sci-fi conventions, model-kit conventions, horror conventions, convention conventions, convection ovens, and their ilk.
But even though I’ve run the geek gamut, from the immense San Diego Comic Con to the tiny Wonderfest, none of them can match DragonCon, or take its place in my heart.
Why DragonCon? What IS DragonCon, anyway? And how/why did I start attending?
Sit, child.
DragonCon is the glitter-bedazzled queen of all conventions. It’s a Comic con, sure. It’s a science fiction con, to be certain. Horror con? You bet. Anime and cosplay con? One of the best in the land. RenFair? That’s covered too. Goth Ball? Of course!
A DragonCon Diorama: Fake absinthe, whiskey, pills, Star Trek uniform
Any and every facet of genre entertainment is covered in some way. And that’s the key:
YOU BELONG.
Knee-socks & Skirt-Man meets AssFlaps! Another Classic DragonCon Moment!
For four days in the sweltering Georgia summer heat, downtown Atlanta becomes a safehaven, a place where you can truly fly your freak flag, no matter what subspecies of genre-lover you might be.
Klingons walk the streets in Hawaiian shirts.
Why did the Hawaiian-shirted Klingon cross the road? Oh never mind.
Stormtroopers march…to Hooters, where they take off their helmets and eat hot wings. The X-Men roam the halls while the forces of Cobra amass in the lobby. Colonial Marines trade armor tips with Cylons and Robocops.
Brent didn't realize they were from the Authority until after he had the pics developed...he just saw hot chicks and pounced. Drunkenly.
There are goth/industrial dance events, with rubber-clad goth chicks and vampires roaming the floors. Filk Festivals await you, if you like folk music about, you know, elves and crap like that (not a favorite of mine…go figure).
There are Troma movie premieres!
Rock Concerts by Gwar, the Misfits, Clutch, Spock’s Beard, and more!
Wrestling Events featuring, uh, the Iron Sheik! (I’m not into wrestling, but I know the wrestling thing is a big deal every year, and, you know, I saw the Iron Sheik there once…he was very proud of his boots. “Get the boots! The boots!” he demanded when I took his picture. And I got the boots. Oh yes, I got them).
The Annual Dawn Lookalike Contest, with grand prizes given directly by Joseph Michael Linsner!
The freaky Parade through Downtown Atlanta!
And one of the biggest Masquerade/Costume Contests in the land!
Hellatubby!
Green Hornet, not to be confused with Lantern, Arrow, Giant, Jello, Beans, etc.
Really cool full-scale Speeder Bike/Biker Scout costumes. Their real legs came out at the bottom, alll in black. Viewed from a distance it looked like they were flying. No shit!
There are rooms full of gamers…and by gamers, I mean CCG’s, miniatures, LARPs, and MMORPGS…pretty much anything that involves rolling a die, dealing a card, or clicking a mouse…it’s there!
There are rooms full of comic pros, waiting to sign your comics, draw free sketches, do paid commissions, and listen to you complain about Geoff Johns!
Every year, more than 20,000 (as many as 35,000) of your strangest friends are convening upon this southern citadel to do the things they love to do, and not apologize for it!
Yes, for four days, you can be yourself, or you can be someone else. Put in the contact lenses and don the wig…or in some cases, grease yourself up and wriggle into your latex bodysuit. Whatever you want to be, you can be it here. Like Dr. Frankenfurter instructed: “Don’t dream it; be it.” Is it any coincidence that one of the annual attractions is a big live performance of Rocky Horror? Of course not!
A common sight at the check-in counter during DragonCon.
And yet more straps in asses.
In the summer of 1997, I was an idealistic young man working at a comic shop who had never really taken a “road trip” before. The thought had never really occurred to me. “Comic conventions” were something that you attended if you lived within the city the con was taking place. Traveling to attend a show? Who’d ever heard of such a thing.
Then my friend Kirk presented our peer group with the idea of DragonCon.
It was only about 7 hours away, rooms were relatively easy to book, and the guest list boasted numerous comic and film personalities.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the group agreed to try it. So it was that my friends Danny, Jason, Chris and myself loaded into my Dad’s van, and headed south!
Nothing could prepare me for what I found.
So much stuff! Imported toys, dolls, anime, videos, models, swords,
I met B-movie starlets! I met comic stars (Evan Dorkin, who was awesome and posed for a pic and gave me a sketch! Art Adams, who was gracious and also gave me a sketch! John Byrne, who…uh…well, he was John Byrne!)
Evan Dorkin doesn't like you.
At most cons, once the dealer and exhibitor rooms have closed, the show is, well, basically over. And I kick myself now for heading back to my hotel room after this happened on my first trip.
However, by staying out a bit later on that second night, I learned that the true allure of the convention comes after dark. After all, the freaks come out at night.
At the time, the con was being held in the Atlanta Apparel Mart and Convention Center. On the lower levels were a series of movie rooms, where you could watch hard to find imported films and anime with other fans. There was a feeling of camaraderie as you sat in the dark and enjoyed something that few others in the US had seen.
Also on this floor was a large theater, where I beheld the defining moments of that initial con…the moments which would fully crystallize the idea of DragonCon in my mind, and make me a believer:
First was the Bettie Page fashion show, in which numerous lovely ladies competed in a beauty contest, attempting to emulate the my dark goddess of cheesecake.
Needless to say, as a longtime Bettie-lover, this caught my attention.
Following the show (and a bondage/s&m demo by local, uh, performance artists “Torture Garden”) we made our way to the lobby, where we met an older man…who was dragged out in full Betty regalia. We took our picture with him, and had him sign our sketchbook. Because in this generous, friendly man, a man who probably has to wear a suit and tie every day, we found the magic element that makes DragonCon click: you truly can be yourself…or somebody else, if you want. Everyone is supportive of everyone else’s “quirks”.
Your humble narrator has a drunken lapse in judgement.
Later, in the same large hall, I walked by the masquerade. At the time I had no idea that it was such an important component of the convention, but what I witnessed, again, defined the experience for me: Star Trek TNG theme plays as Jean Luc-Picard walks onto the stage. It’s a pretty convincing get-up, better than what you’d get at, say, Spencer Gifts, and the guy actually looked like Picard.
Soon, the music changed to…the Village People…and before I even knew what was happening, Picard was stripped down to a thong, with a Starfleet Emblem emblazoned on the crotch.
JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN ATLANTA?
I wasn’t sure. But in a way, I was sure that I was home.
In subsequent years, the hotel would leave the Apparel Mart/Convention Center, and move most of its activities and events to the Hyatt Regency Atlanta, which added an entirely new layer of charm to the festivities.
As I said, after the convention floors close, the party is only getting started. And if you’re staying in the Hyatt, the party is going 24 hours a day.
Pain Proof Rubber Girl!!!
Slymenstra Hymen's Girly Freak Show!
The HRA is one of the loveliest hotels in the south, a beautiful open-aired, atrium-style affair. You can walk out of the front door to your room and peer over the balcony straight down to the lobby, where thousands (literally) of people are milling about drinking, taking pictures, and enjoying themselves.
Hyatt atrium-style hotel...complete with avant-gard floating martini glass sculpture!
The glass elevators never stop running, as they scream from the ground levels to the upper levels incessantly. It’s not unusual to hear the alarm bell ring all the way up and down, up and down, for hours on end, far into the night.
To be sure, whether you sleep or not is not an issue. The party never sleeps.
And that’s it, for me, folks. It’s a four day opportunity to buy a lot of cool stuff, meet a lot of pros that I admire, see stuff I haven’t seen before, meet girls (did I mention that the female attendance is easily on par with the male attendance, which is possibly the biggest difference between this and any other convention in the world?), ogle near-naked bondage/vampire chicks, and feel like I’ve found my freaky family.
These Borg are wearing sweatpants...resistance to elastic is futile!
Continue to Part 2
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:05 PM
by J. Brent Stewart
DragonCon 2005 takes place Friday September 2nd (Friday) through Monday September 5th (Labor Day).
The central (i.e. party) hotel is once again the Hyatt Regency Atlanta, which also hosts most of the concerts, movie room, panel discussions, etc.
The Hyatt's address is:
265 Peachtree Street NE
Atlanta, GA 30303
The Marriott Marquis (located across the street from the Hyatt, accessible via Skywalks connected to the hotels) hosts the exhibitor and dealer rooms.
The Marriott Marquis' is:
265 Peachtree Center Ave
Atlanta, GA 30303
Marriott: Escher-style architecture & booze/pills = bad trip, man.
And for the first time, the Atlanta Hilton has entered the fray, hosting the registration duties!
The Atlanta Hilton
255 Courtland Street, NE
Atlanta, GA 30303
For all the info you need about these hotels and other satellite hotels, head here:
http://www.dragoncon.org/dc_location.htm#Host_Hotels
Remember when booking your rooms to tell them that you’re coming for the Con, and use the convention codes, as listed on that page, otherwise you’ll be told that the hotel is SOLD OUT!
Hotel costs with discount run about $170 per night for four people, -$10 per night for decreasing number of people in the room ($160 for 3, $150 for 2, etc.), plus parking if you use is (about $20 for valet…cheaper if you park off-site at a parking garage, usually around $12 a day or so) and don’t forget the sneaky hotel taxes. As of right now the hotel and occupancy taxes for the Hyatt are running about 8% and 7%, for 15% total (those taxing bastards!) You’ll want to remember that when putting your budget together.
As for convention memberships, they break down thusly:
If you’ve pre-registered, you probably got a discount for getting in early. If you’re just going to be registering at the door, however, here is how it breaks down:
Purchasing "Memberships" at the Door
In addition to full memberships, 1, 2 or 3-day passes are available at the Door (and only at the door) on the day that they are good for.
At the door rates:
4 days (Fri. – Mon.) $85
3 days (Sat. – Mon.) $70
2 days (Sun. – Mon.) $50
1 day (Fri., Sat. or Sun.) $30
1 day (Monday) $25
All of the info you could need about memberships is available here:
http://www.dragoncon.org/dc_members.htm
Guests!
As of August 23rd there are 371 guests & Bands confirmed for 2005, including:
| Authors: Kevin J. Anderson Bill Fawcett Robert Jordan Anne McCaffrey Rebecca Moesta Michael Stackpole Film & Television: | Comics, Art, & Illustration: Tim Bradstreet Bob Burden Howard Chaykin Peter David Roger Dean Larry Elmore Basil Gogos Gris Grimly Paul Gulacy Cully Hamner Bill Holbrook Adam Hughes Brandon Jerwa Joseph Michael Linsner Georges Jeanty Joe Jusko David Mack Don Maitz Mike Mayhew Ted Naifeh Eric Powell Ethan Van Sciver Brian Stelfreeze Karl Story William (Bill) Stout Arthur Suydam Dexter Vines Marv Wolfman Music, Theatrics, & Performance Art: |
Events:
There’s always tons to do at D-Con, from roaming the comic pro rooms, to looking at art shows, going to discussions/panels with stars and pros, going to fan discussions, wandering the massive dealer and exhibitor halls looking for deals, watching movies, playing games, etc. Here are some of the big events:
Annual Adult Swim Panel, including many of the creators and talents at AS (including MC Chris and George Lowe), and info on upcoming shows!
Klingon Beauty Pageant!
Klingon Beauty Pageant...beauty really is subjective, isn't it?
4th Annual Downtown Parade!
George Takei...in a car!
Moments after this photo was taken, Wonder Woman broke my neck.
Still better than the movie!
Team X-Treme & SGWA Pro-Wrestling!
Short Film Festival!
Late Night Dj’d Dances!
Several live music Concerts!
RHPS presented by Lips Down on Dixie!
Dawn Lookalike Contest!
Robot Battles!
And the huge Masquerade!
Patsy Klingon...and what's more, she SANG "CRAZY" IN KLINGON!!!
There’s much more than that, too. To get a taste:
http://www.dragoncon.org/dc_events.htm
There are individual programming tracks based on Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5, Dr. Who, British Comedy, Wheel of Time, Pern, Lord of the Rings, Comics, and on and on. If you have any sort of interest in any genre material, chances are that there’s an entire day’s worth of discussions, panels, films, etc tailored directly to your tastes!
So, I hope you’ll consider coming to the con. Perhaps you’re a comic fan who didn’t realize that DragonCon offered a lot of comics programming and guests. Perhaps you’re a filking Klingon LARPer who didn’t know there were others like you (though I hate to think of a lone man in Klingon regalia singing about Elfquest while juggling a 10-sided die).
Something...so...not right...about this.
Either way, come on down, and look for the immense drunk man with the huge mustache, sunglasses and press ribbon. I’ll be having my picture taken with beautiful girls and harassing Chewbacca at the bar.
At least two of these people are really, really drunk.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
by Ryan Higgins and the Your Mom's Basement staff
Ghost Rider's back! (Finally!) Power Girl's getting an origin! (Finally!) But, wait a minute... are these stories actually any good? Do they even make any sense? There was only one way to find out! We had a group of diaper-wearing fanboys ask Fan Favorite Retailer Ryan Higgins 20-Odd Questions about Ghost Rider #1 and JSA: Classified #2.
Ghost Rider #1:
1. Where do they sell those pants at?
Finer superhero clothing boutiques everywhere.
2. Do they pretend the Devin Grayson series never happened? Because really, everyone else does.
You know, I’m not sure, since I could only get one issue into that horrible, horrible series. Seriously, what was Marvel thinking with that book?
Ghost Rider #1 starts with Ghost Rider trying to escape hell, but he’s captured and destroyed. And then it all starts over again. Every night he tried to escape the demons, but fails. This is how he suffers, fulfilling his part of the bargain he made with the Devil a long time ago.
The angel Daniel tells his brother Malachi that they need Ghost Rider. Why, we’re not sure, but I’ll bet you has something to do with the southern hick demon that makes a biker stick his head up his own ass. It should be good and bloody. Garth Ennis never disappoints and Clayton Crain’s art is simply amazing.
3. Who's Ghost Rider? Johnny Blaze or that Danny Ketch guy?
Johnny Blaze, baby! That’s right, old school! Woot!
4. Remember when Danny Ketch had to touch the gas cap of his motorcycle to turn into Ghost Rider? That was awesome.
I, uh…what? No, I don’t remember that at all.
5. Whatever happened to Danny Ketch?
His series was canceled, no shit, in the middle of a story arc. Kind of a bummer, too, as those last few issues of Ghost Rider weren’t half bad. Danny died in issue #93 of Ghost Rider, the last issue, but came back randomly in future Marvel Comics, before finally disappearing into the void.
I’m sure Brian Michael Bendis will bring him back in New Avengers and he’ll get his own series next year.
6. Can the new Ghost Rider ride up walls? Like a ghost?
I, uh…what?
7. Do any of the other 'Midnight Sons' get a mention in the Ghost rider relaunch?
No, I’m pretty sure that entire section of Marvel is gone. Damn you, Darkhold! You were too beautiful for this world!
8. Does Ghost Rider have a sister, because those cheek bones on a woman would make her hot!
Yeah, that’s what the comic book world needs, is a female Ghost Rider. Hey, can she have claws, too? How about be green and get really strong? Or, I know, she could be his cousin, trapped in a meteor of Kryptonite!
9. Hey! Angels! I see angels. Angels are never a good sign. Do Remiel and Duma show up? Are the angels in the Ghost Rider relaunch the same ones from the Punisher relaunch?
No, but wouldn’t that be great? Garth Ennis using the same characters he writes off in one panel in Punisher as the main characters in another book?
Ennis sure liked angels and demons, doesn’t he? Hellblazer, Preacher, Demon, Hitman, they all had angels and demons. The difference between his angels and most people’s angels, however, is that his swear and have sex. Man, Garth Ennis’ angels rock!
10. When did Ghost Rider "Jump the Shark"?
Around the same time he appeared in 27 monthly Marvel books, the occasional Malibu crossover, and his own late-night talk show, “The Burning Answers, with Ghost Rider,” although I think it was his third appearance on SNL that he really “Jumped the Shark.”
That tank was just big for even him…
Conclusion: Buy Ghost Rider #1 if you like Garth Ennis, guys with flaming heads, and kick-splode art.
JSA: Classified #2
11. Will this tie-in at all with the re-launch of Supergirl?
C’mon, this is a mainstream DCU book featuring a character that’s on the cover of Infinite Crisis. OF COURSE it’s going to tie-in with Supergirl. It ties in with Birds of Prey, OMAC Project, Powerpuff Girls, House of M, Invincible, Owly and Love & Rockets. You don’t have to watch Fargo before reading this comic, but if you do it will really expand on the story, although it is continuing directly into next weeks new episode of Lost.
12. The Legion? Just how much more complicated does the story get once they show up?
Not very, as it’s revealed that Power Girl is actually a LoSH member named Andromeda from the future. She was sent back in time to help the JSA defeat Mordru, but something happened to her memory…
13. Is this pre-Mark Waid Leigion or is this just another hoax perpetrated by the White Man?
Not only is this pre-mark Waid Legion, this is pre-Crisis Legion. That’s probably why they’re hanging out with Psycho Pirate at the end, right? I mean, he’s not up to anything earth-shattering or continuity-altering, is he? And, I mean, it’s not like there’s something called “Crisis” something-or-other coming up soon, right?
That’s right, a nice, clean, fresh new origin for Power Girl!
14. What do you think are the meta-textual liminal readings of the male gaze as they pertain to Power Girl? Is her shorter hair a direct confrontation of western stereotypes of femininity?
My MS Word doesn’t seem to understand the word “liminal”, so I’m going to replace it with “lamina,” a thin plate, sheet, or layer.
So, you’re asking what the thin plate, sheet, or layer readings of the male gaze as they pertain to Power Girl? What kinda stupid question is that! Go on and make up some other words, why don’t you!
15. They're ignoring the whole "descendant of Arion" thing, right? Because that was LAME.
Yes, that is being shoved under the carpet, as 2005 will go down as the year that retconned the 80s and everything that happened within them. Poor Duran Duran, we’ll miss you!
16. How far away are we from getting some resolution to this friggin' origin? Are we close?
Well, since there’s only one issue left, I’m assuming we’re 2/3 into the story. As this is issue #2. Of a three part story. Something about…the Crime Syndicate in the next issue?
17. Does Power Girl's old cat from the JLE days show up in this?
18. What about Power Girl's son, from the last pre-Morrison JLA incarnation? They ever get back into that malarkey?
Ummmmmm…no. No, no no no no no. No, they really didn’t, no.
No.
19. Boobies?
Power Girl’s Breasts, A Retrospective.
By Ryan Higgins
Power Girl first appeared on the scene in All-Star Comics #58 in January of 1976, continuing where the old All-Star Comics left off, with #57, back in 1951. This continuation of the original All-Star Comics brought back the popular JSA members that appeared often in the Justice League title into their own book, as well as introducing new members like Power Girl, Star-Spangled Kid, and Robin from Earth-2. Here, we see Power Girl’s breasts are quite large, bigger than most super heroines of the time. Was this by accident, or did creators Gerry Conway and Ric Estrada purposely create the world’s first super hero whose entire history would be overshadowed by her…physical attributes? I think this one is lost to the sands of time.
As Power Girl continued to appear in various Justice League and All-Star Squadron comics, more and more people began to comment on her breasts. By the time Crisis on Infinite Earths was over and Karen Starr was a member of the Justice League again, they became one of the time’s longest running in-jokes, next to “Bwa-hah-hah” and the pies-in-the-face from Suicide Squad.
Over the past few years, we’ve seen a Power Girl upswing that hasn’t been matched before. From continued appearances in JSA, her pivotal role in Superman/Batman, and her cover appearance of the upcoming Infinite Crisis #2, Power Girl is on everyone’s mind, and most are thinking about her chest.
…although I wouldn’t get too worked up over her or them, because more than likely she’ll be the first causality of Infinite Crisis since DC seems to do a good job of making people remember older, obscure characters and then killing them off horribly.
20. Do we get to see the Tron guy show up? Is he the father of Karen Starr?
I’m just wondering, how long have you guys been trying to get the Tron Guy into this column? Quite a while, I bet.
Ok, sure, the Tron Guy is Karen Starr’s father! One magical night, he was surfing the net when he came across www.tronlovers.com, a website for all people who love Tron. I mean, *really* love Tron. There he met a woman, and they talked all night about their love for Tron. Tron-this, Tron-that, Tron ‘till the cows came home! 9 Tron-filled months later, they had a baby together. Hoping it was a boy, they planned to name it after their favorite character, Crom. Alas, it was a girl, and they settled on the name Karen, as it kinda sounded like Crom. Or something.
Conclusion: Buy JSA: Classified #2 if you're a huge DC whore like me.
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Read 20-Odd Questions: DEFENDERS
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 07:00 PM
First, the runners up:
1. 
"Does anyone have change for 2 Bobas and a Jango?"(BoochConley)
"Any Jangos up for Jenga?"(BoochConley)
"Okay, who forgot to tell Pendergrass that we were all dressing up in ORIGINAL TRILOGY Costumes? Was that you Nickerson? ASS!"(Briandgarside)
2. 
Gotta arrest 'em all! (BoochConley)
You won't believe how much I paid for this Picachu lovedoll!(johncarlucci)
3.
Yup, here is where I told Defalco to kiss it!(johncarlucci)
4.
"Eat your heart out, Frederick Wertham! Tonight, the innocent will be seduced by the Bat-Elephantiasis."(Morty)
The effects of Bat-Viagra(johncarlucci)
5.
"Thuh deltoid's connected to thuh... tri-cep! Thuh tricep's connected to thuh... tra-pe-zi-us! Trapezius is connected to thuh... mumble-mumble!... Thuh... Uh... Here you go, kid! Juggernaut!"
"But I asked for White Queen!"
"Well, shit, kid, I'd do White Queen -- huhuhuh -- but do you see a copy of Sports Illustrated and a light-table around here?"(James T)
"Needs....more....shoulderpads!" (Matt Doc Martin)
Son-of-a! I always forget the feet(johncarlucci)
"So then, like the guy who looks like slime is kind of oozy, and he tells Shrink, like 'I feel kind of slimy sometimes.' J.Lo's gonna own this role!"(Morty)
And the grand prize winner is:
My Japanese mail-order bride looked different in the catalog.(Gardner Linn)
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 06:00 PM
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 12:00 AM
by Mike Collins
Corporations financing insurgencies. Businessmen dueling on abandoned highways in jacked up cars for contracts. A young man spiraling downward into a system he has no chance of beating. Market Forces has it all and then some. As Faulkner is told on his first day “You come to work with blood on your wheels or you don’t come at all.”
Richard K. Morgan, Locus and Phillip K. Dick Award winning author for Altered Carbon, writes a compelling near future novel in a world that doesn’t seem all that far off from our own. Huge corporations have begun a practice called Conflict Investment, in which they finance whomever seems likely to prevail in small wars around the globe.
Young Chris Faulkner, a man from humble beginnings finds himself on the fast track with Conflict Investment giant Shorn Associates. Hotheaded and impulsive, Faulkner slowly starts to become a player and a moneymaker for Shorn. All the while he makes one morally conflicted choice after another and watches his marriage crumble as a spectator.
Once all the players are introduced the novel takes off into a world filled with political wrangling, explosive gunfights, personal betrayals and corporate misbehavior. The show stoppers are certainly the auto duels. In the first major one of the novel, Faulkner and Bryant face off against a rival corporation for a contract that involves six cars, rocket launchers and a media blitz. The duels are covered in a style that would fit ESPN.
The Drivers as they are known are worldwide celebrities, on television and magazine covers.
While certainly different than any of Morgan’s three Takeshi Kovacs novels, he employs a similar fast paced style that draws the reader in. Quick glimpses of locations and technology that could become the starting point for entire novels, he uses them effectively to make a believable world for his characters to inhabit. The real strength of Morgan’s writing is his characters. Having a cast of that are so ethically compromised must have been a tall task. Aside from their shortcomings, the major players in Market Forces are likeable and come across on the page as fully realized.
Market Forces should be a worthwhile read for fans of near future science fiction or for anyone who enjoys fast paced thrillers.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 08:00 PM
by Rajan Khanna
I first picked up Altered Carbon based on a recommendation by Jeff VanderMeer. It was billed as a noir/cyberpunk blend, a thriller that was already optioned by Hollywood. It took me a while to get around to reading it (as it often does), but once I finally did, I was hooked. I was commuting at the time and I remember being hugely disappointed having to put the book down to get off the train. I devoured it, and yet I had to sometimes force myself to slow down because I wanted it to last longer.
It was an extremely easy read, but not at all because it was simple or shallow fluff. Morgan opens up with a tantalizing taste of the world of Takeshi Kovacs, a brief exposure to this damaged man, and then you are swept along in a thrilling and complex story, all the while navigating the hairpin turns and jagged edges of the future world that Morgan has created.
It is a world of spacecraft, of planetary colonization and biomodification, and yet it is a world that's still familiar to the reader, one that is firmly planted in the street level grime and corruption of our present world.
The central technology at the heart of the Kovacs novels is the sleeving technology which encodes the personality on a digital level, allowing one's very essence to be downloaded into a body or sleeve. Death, true death at least, is rare for most because the cortical stack containing that person's data is usually recovered and the individual downloaded into a new sleeve. This creates a rather distinct separation between the mind and body, with bodies becoming interchangeable parts that one does not get too attached to.
Dwelling in this world of mix and match parts is Takeshi Kovacs, a former Envoy, a type of diplomatic supersoldier trained in skills both social and martial. Kovacs is a damaged man, and while his physical scars disappear with every new sleeve, the mental scars remain. He is a classic antihero, uncomfortable with authority, violent, brutal and sadistic while also remaining passionate, compassionate, and not without a sense of honor, and his own moral view of the world.
In Altered Carbon, Kovacs first appearance, Takeshi is sleeved into another man's body, his task to unravel the apparent suicide of one of San Francisco's wealthy elite, hired by the man who committed suicide himself. Kovacs must play the part of detective, all the while evading the attempts of people who don't want him to know the truth, facing threats connected to his past, navigating a seedy sexual world. It's a mystery, a thriller, part cyberpunk, part noir, part sci-fi and completely absorbing.
In Kovacs' second outing, Broken Angels, the action takes place offworld, on Sanction IV, a world torn by war. Kovacs is acting the part of mercenary now until a unique offer comes his way and he has to decide whether or not to take it. Unlike Altered Carbon, Broken Angels is a switch in gears from the environment to the tone and mood of the book. Takeshi is still front and center, but there is more of an ensemble cast and rather than a mystery this one draws more from science fiction/horror hybrids. Still there, though is the irrepressible personality of Kovacs and the bureaucratic corruption that is a common thread to these books.
In the third and final (for now) Kovacs novel (see Morgan's own announcement in our recent interview), Morgan returns Takeshi to his homeworld bringing the story full circle and bringing dangling plot threads to bear in whip-like fashion.
You might think that a world where death is so impermanent that it would rob the story of some sense of threat or danger, but such is not the case. Death still hurts and still wields tremendous power over the mind (as witnessed beautifully in Broken Angels). And since death is something that is usually repairable, true death, the death of one's digital information, seems all the more final.
Of course the sleeving technology brings up all kinds of other ramifications. Are bodies mere vehicles for our personalities that can be changed as often as one changes cars? Or is there something of the body itself that can bring itself to bear on the mind? Morgan touches on this in the first novel.
Then there are numerous other technological achievements to speak of, some based around this idea of sleeves. If bodies are mere shells or vehicles, why not customize them for function? In Kovacs' world, bodies are grown, tailored to specific tasks. Military sleeves contain state of the art neurachem, enhanced nervous systems with precise control over muscle response and reflexes. Some have bioplates, actual hardware inside the body that interfaces with weapons. Bodies can be built to order, especially in the world that Kovacs inhabits, a world of violence and black ops.
And these bodies don't just come in black and white. One of the great things about the Kovacs novels are how multicultural they are. Extrapolating from our present day, Kovacs' world is filled with Maori combat sleeves and every culture and color that you could think of. Takeshi Kovacs himself is part Japanese, part Eastern European. This is nothing new in science fiction, this multicultural future, but Morgan makes it seem natural, and divorces it from one's cultural identity. How can you be connected to a particular skin color when one day you can have white skin, and the next it's black.
There are more technological innovations, of course. Sometimes Morgan mentions things in throwaway lines that might deserve chapters if not their own books. Some might find this frustrating, but for me it creates this integrated sense of a larger world. As a reader you feel that there, on the periphery, is a huge, panoramic world. You're just too focused on the path in front of you (Kovacs' path), and delightfully helpless to stop and take a look around.
But all is not technological innovation. Kovacs' future is a bleak one, with the same divides of wealth and status, the same overbearing authority, the same threat (perhaps increased) of war. Despite the advancements that technology has given them, the same ills of the modern world have been intensified. Corporations run rampant, grinding up the common man in their endlessly revolving gears. Politicians make decisions, swayed by money and influence, that wreck innocent lives. Wars are decided in a boardrooms far away from the dying men and women enlisted to fight them. Where people should soar, lifted up by advancements in medicine and technology, they instead are crushed under the oppressive weight of ideology, corruption, and greed.
Is it any wonder, then, that we side with the antihero, the violent, sadistic bastard who steps up and looks these people in the eye before kicking them in the balls? Is it any wonder that we cheer as the rogue Envoy takes on anyone in his way as he tries for the big score? Hell no. We applaud him, and his violent ways, as our proxy in this bleak and morally barren world. He is our champion, the only kind such a world can support. Won't you give him your favor?
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 07:45 PM
by Little
This all started a few months ago with an innocent comment. Don't they always?
I had seen the trade of Black Widow: Homecoming at one of my local comic emporiums and noticed the price was very reasonable. However, being on a bit of a financially induced comics sabbatical (or, more accurately, downsizing) I didn't pick it up. I had read the previous three Black Widow minis under the Marvel Knights banner and enjoyed them to varying degrees, and inside I secretly yearned to read this one. So, I asked at a message board whether anyone had read it in singles or in trade form, and their thoughts. From memory the general consensus was that it was good and that I should give it a try.
Then, one of the owners of this here establishment mentioned that he was going to try and get an interview with Richard K. Morgan, the writer of this very series. Rajan (for it was he) also suggested that perhaps, since I had asked the question of the storyline's quality, perhaps I could do a review.
So, I did.
And this is it.
Its my first review, so please be gentle with me.
The book begins with the deaths of several women (and one gentleman), seemingly unrelated. An attempt is made on another, an avid rock climber living in Arizona. Only thing is, this alledged victim is not so defenseless. Natasha Romanov, aka The Black Widow, acts accordingly and turns the tables on her assailant, who unfortunately would not talk and died a slow, painful death.
Natasha turns to an ex-SHIELD colleague for assistance in finding who the assassin was and who sent him, and in turn she helps him investigate one of the earlier murders: a pro-choice demonstrator, coldly shot whilst at a rally.
As the book unfolds, so the plot grows tighter and before the end of her journey, Natasha will find out more about her past and her training as a Black Widow than she perhaps would care to.
Its difficult to say much more about the book without revealing some large plot pieces, and yet I feel as though you all need to know this stuff because when you do, you'll go out and pick the trade up. However, you really shouldn't have anything spoiled, because for me, as I dug deeper into the story, more and more questions were piled on when I was expecting answers.
Case in point - in Chapter Three, when you're all warm and toasty and expecting to slip into the Second Act when the set-up is usually gone, a woman walking through a field in the Eastern Soviet Union is shot in the head by a sniper in a tower.
Thing is, I didn't mind. It didn't distract from the storytelling, and it doesn't feel as though it was thrown in for shock value. You're quite comfortable with the creators at this point, so even if they came over to your house and declared a state of emergency around your coffee table you would feel quite safe that everything was in good hands.
The writing is superb. Morgan juggles several plot points semmingly effortlessly, and just like any espionage or mystery novel worth its salt, he has you engrossed from thefirst page. Even when you think you know whats going on, he throws something new at you and it doesn't detract one bit from
The story moves on at a steady pace; no dread feel of decompression as the many elements and twists in this particular tale do warrant six issues, and perhaps even more. As Natasha begins to unravel the mysteries, she finds more than she had bargained for as all that she had believed before turn out to be lies. Given that she was trained as a weapon (and one of deceit at that) in a long running war of the superpowers, it shouldn't come us much of a surprise, but the technology employed (or should that be, biotechnology) is terrifying. I am not sure how much of this is fact, researched by Morgan or how much is made up or exaggerated, but whatever the case it is powerful and adds a menacing resonance to the piece.
You can't do anything but feel for Natasha as the revelations of betrayal pile on top of one another; both sides - including mentors, colleagues and friends - used her and exploited implanted weaknesses to attempt to control her. The look of shocked realisation when she is told of the aftershave, its uses and its primary wearer really hits home.
And this is probably a good time to talk about the art. Chapter One is all Bill Sienkiewicz, while the other 5 chapters contain the layouts of Goran Parlov, with Sienkiewicz providing the finishes. Both art styles fit well, and seem to work best in action scenes, accurately conveying the quick, lethal duels between the main protagonists. There's something gritty there as well, which adds to the tone, particularly when Natasha returns to Moscow and reminisces on her young life, the ballet and Black Widow training.
If I had to find a fault (and it would be tenuous at best) it would be the last page, or more precisely, the last panel. It has such a To Be Continued feel about it that you really want more and the story sort of hangs. Luckily, when I read this the trade paperback had a little insert in that last panel mentioning the upcoming sequel which sated me. It would be intriguing to see if that was also included in the monthly books as I am unsure whether the decision on a sequel had been made at that stage.
Having sampled the first volume by Richard K. Morgan, I cannot wait until the next part which begins its monthly run in October. With Sean Phillips on art duties and finishes again by Sienkewicz, I'm locked in.
More than that, I want to pick one of Morgan's novels and give it a try. Hopefully those who already enjoy his prose offerings will cross over and sample his comics
work.
If you like espionage whether it be in comic or any other literary format, you would do well to pick this book up. If you like the original Black Widow, you will love this and should have bought it anyway. But we'll forgive you if you forgot. There's still time to make amends.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 07:43 PM
by Mike Collins
Richard K. Morgan is the Philip K. Dick and Locus Award winning author of such titles as Altered Carbon, Broken Angles, Woken Furies and Market Forces. He's also about to begin a second limited series featuring the Black Widow For Marvel Comics. He steps into the basement for a chat with Mike Collins about Black Widow, strong female characters and his novels, the latest of which hits shelves in a few weeks.
MC: Prior to getting the offer to write your first Black Widow miniseries for Marvel, did you ever have any interest in writing a comic book?
RM: Not really, no. I’ve had a nodding acquaintance with graphic novels since my early twenties, and there were always a few of the classics on my shelves – Frank Miller’s Dark Knight, some Judge Dredd, some Sandman and Preacher – but it never occurred to me that I’d ever write one. I was too focused on becoming a prose novelist to look at the other possibilities.
MC: How did it come together with Marvel? Did they ask specifically about Black Widow or was it just writing a comic for them in general?
RM: I think it was the Widow that did it, really. Jenny Lee had read my first novel, Altered Carbon, and was very taken with the female characters. Black Widow was the one she pitched to me first of all, and to be honest I fell in love with the character immediately. Jenny ran a couple more options by me as well, but by then I was already off and running with Natasha.
MC: What differences have you found in writing a comic as opposed to writing a novel?
RM: The biggest obvious difference, and the biggest problem I had with the new medium, was brevity – I’m used to telling a story in 400 plus pages of prose, so twenty pages, five to seven panels a page, was a pretty tight squeeze. In fact the first issue sketch I turned in to Jenny contained all the material for Issues One and Two and then some. It took a while to get that under control, but thanks to Jenny’s excellent tutelage, I was on a fairly rapid learning curve and by #3, we had things squared away. That left me with one other major difference, which is really the issue of emphasis. The point with prose is that you have practically unlimited licence to explore – provided you do your job well, you can take your reader anywhere and for as long as you like. You can digress, expand, reflect and resonate on your themes, develop your characters as much as you like, and if the prose stands up, it will work. (For some really extreme examples of this power, try Thomas Pynchon’s V or Vineland). Comics – even the most sophisticated comics – just won’t carry that much weight. But where the comicbook medium scores over prose is in terms of visual impact - in this it’s akin to cinema. There is no substitute for a really powerful visual image. Think of the death of the joker in Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns, or the canal tunnel sequence in Alan Moore’s From Hell. Or in cinema, the furious, hating face of the Vietnamese girl at the end of Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket. It is practically impossible to render that much intensity in prose.
MC: Can you tell us a little bit about what you have in store for the Black Widow in the new series you're writing?
RM: Well, not much without spoiling the surprises, no. Suffice it to say, the new arc picks up almost immediately after the end of the last collection, and pursues a number of the themes and characters that emerged last time around. At the same time, it is a very conscious attempt to do things differently this time. I’m exploring new angles on the character of the Widow, and also trying to shade in a backdrop of moral consequence, which I find distressingly absent in a lot of superhero fiction. There’s some foreign travel as before, but the story is a lot less global in scope, and the enemies are far less easily defined than before.
MC: You seem very adept at writing strong female characters. Is that a conscious decision?
RM: Thank you. No, it’s not really conscious. I like women – genuinely like them as opposed to just wanting to fuck them, though that too, ahem, well, anyway, AHEM, I like women, so it seems natural to treat my female characters with as much affection, attention to detail and respect as the males. Out of that grows their strength and more importantly their three dimensionality. In the same way you’d want your daughter to grow up strong and independent, I want my characters to have an inner life of their own, not just conform to some wank fantasy stereotype of womanhood. In this, all I’m really doing is my job as a writer – the problem is that elsewhere in comics you seem to have a number of other writers who would just rather perpetrate the wank fantasy thing. Whether that’s out of their own personal issues or a simple desire to bullseye a big male audience with personal issues, I don’t know – but it pisses me off no end.
MC: Do you think there are any other comics projects we might see you write? Any particular characters that you'd like to take a shot at? Any particular artists you'd want to work with?
RM: Well, it’s always a possibility. To be honest, at the moment, I’m fully engaged with Natasha and quite enjoying revamping the character, and that, along with my novel writing commitments is keeping me more than busy enough. I’ve had a few ideas for other Marvel characters, simply because they’ve been called to my attention, but whether those ideas will go anywhere remains to be seen. As far as artists go, I’m a big fan of Kevin O’Neil’s work on League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and the whole Lucifer team – Gross and Kelly and the really weird stuff Dean Ormston does. I’m also very impressed by guys like Eduardo Risso and Marcelo Frusin. As you can probably guess, I’m not a big fan of photo-real artwork.
MC: How would you describe the experience of working with Marvel on this series? The experience of writing a comic in general?
RM: It’s been a riot. High points include Jenny Lee chasing me all over Peru and Bolivia with Fedex, trying to get final text sorted, and the massive battle to prevent Natasha’s spine-cracking scene being censored out – which we won. That, plus getting to work with Bill Sienkiewicz and Goran Parlov, both of whom really went the distance for the project. At the time, I never realised how privileged I was to just step into the comic world and be handed such a fistful of talent to work with on my first outing.
MC: Switching gears, I'd like to ask you a little bit about your novels. Woken Furies is soon to be released in the US. How did you come up with Takeshi Kovacs and the world he lives in?
RM: I always liked the idea of a character who scares the people who run things – Kovacs is a product of the Protectorate war machine and its repressive policing systems, but he’s gone AWOL, and all the violence and intelligence that he once deployed for political reasons is now his to hand out as he personally sees fit. The elite enforcement division he once belonged to, the Envoys, are already a force that terrifies politicians on all sides – but an Envoy who no longer has any allegiances but his own personal loyalties is truly something to give the George Bushes of this world nightmares.
As to the Protectorate itself, that was easy – I just extrapolated current geopolitical trends into an interstellar context without permitting faster than light space travel. People in Kovacs’ universe get about between star systems as digital data streams transmitted in hyperspace. They can then be downloaded into fresh bodies at the other end. This is the only interstellar communication that really works – the colony ships that actually physically went to the Settled Worlds took decades and centuries to arrive, and clearly you can’t deploy a rapid response force like that. The only alternative is to send men like Kovacs as data and give them combat bodies when they arrive. Some of these ideas have appeared in the literature of SF before, notably in the work of Poul Anderson and Robert Sheckley – all I did was revamp them and give the whole structure a bleak noir twist borrowed from the American crime writing tradition.
MC: One of the hallmarks of the Kovacs novels are the amazing abilities hardwired into his sleeve. He has the neurachem, the bio plates and in Furies the Gecko climbing spines. How do you come up with them?
RM: Uhm – hard to say where inspirations like those come from. Neurachem is really just another word for a jacked up nervous system, and that’s a concept with a long SF pedigree. You find it way back in Alfred Bester’s work from the fifties, in William Gibson’s cyberpunk realities and everywhere in-between. Specific stuff like the bioplates in Broken Angels and the gecko hands in Woken Furies are usually the result of extrapolation. I’m a climber, and the whole climbing community has been hearing for a while now about a new material which in effect gives you the ability to cling to things like a gecko. This is being tested currently in glove form – I just pushed it into the future and imagined a genetically engineered version of the same thing, built directly into the body’s hands. With the bioplates, it was more an image that I extrapolated from – the idea of a character so steeped in warfare that the weaponry no longer ended in his hands, it went beneath the skin and lived inside him too. One of the great things about the SF genre is the way in which you can allow your future technology to express symbolic imagery of this sort in concrete form.
MC: How long do you envision the Kovacs series to be?
RM: Ah – in fact, it’s done. Woken Furies is the last Kovacs book I’m intending to write. I’ve tried to make each of the three books a little different to the last, and to take Kovacs somewhere new emotionally each time; after Woken Furies I don’t see where else I can take him, and I’m not prepared to just do replica novels until my toes curl up. Almost every long term series character I’ve ever read has eventually declined into weak-assed repetitive mediocrity, and that’s not somewhere I want to go. You’ve got to keep trying something fresh, otherwise you’re not a writer, you’re just a word-whore.
That’s not to say there will never be another Kovacs novel – as a fan in San Diego, Terry Hertzler, told me, in ten years time I’ll be a different guy, and so will Kovacs, so who knows what I might think of to do with him then? But for now, I’m definitely of the opinion that less is more.
MC: Market Forces was a wildly different novel from the Kovacs books. How did that come about?
RM: Market Forces grew out of a single short story idea I had for pointing up the way high powered decision makers in the world of global capital are insulated from the long term consequences of their decisions. Although the story was never published, a film producer friend of mine read it and asked me to turn it into a screenplay for her – which I did. We then spent a fruitless eighteen months trying to get backing to make the film, after which I went off in a sulk and started writing Altered Carbon instead. Then, once I was published, it seemed like an obvious idea to turn the screenplay back into prose and see if it flew as a novel. The irony is that it flew so well that now there’s a movie option out on the book and with a bit of luck and a following wind, it may finally become a movie after all. You can probably guess how I feel about that.
MC: Is there any news to report on either Altered Carbon, your first novel, or Market Forces being made as movies?
RM: As yet, no. Both options are on-going, but in Hollywood terms that can mean anything. They may make the movies, they may not. I try not to worry about it too much. Not like I haven’t got enough else to do.
MC: What are you currently working on?
RM: I’m currently writing a new SF novel called Black Man, which deals with genetic engineering about a hundred years from now. The idea is that in much the same way that we are now looking back at the pollution problems of the twentieth century and dealing with the fallout, so in a hundred years we will be dealing with the fallout from a number of ill-advised experiments and a century of incautious development of gene biotech. Oh yeah, and Mars is being colonised.
MC: Thank you for taking some time to answer my questions!
RM: My pleasure – cheers.
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:36 AM
by Eugene and the Your Mom's Basement Staff
At Wizard World Chicago, DC ran a few panels to announce general upcoming news items, and also to conduct some counseling on their fans suffering from the anxiety of the upcoming Infinite Crisis. At the “DCU: New World Order” panel, Mark Waid (writer of Legion of Superheroes), Mike Carlin (editor), Bob Wayne (VP-Sales), Dan DiDio (VP-Executive Editor), Phil Hester (artist on Nightwing) and Doug Mahnke (artist on the upcoming Frankenstein from Grant Morrison’s Seven Soldiers line) teased fans with news of upcoming releases. In the “Crisis Counseling” session, DiDio, Wayne, Greg Rucka (writer of OMAC, Wonder Woman, and Adventures of Superman), and Joan Hilty (editor of OMAC) soothed the pangs of fanboy anxieties over the upcoming and highly-anticipated Infinite Crisis mini.
Infinite Crisis is a sequel to 1986’s Crisis on Infinite Earths, according to DiDio. “Not like Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions are sequels to The Matrix, though,” he joked. Waid added derisively, “Not like Kingdom and Kingdom Come.” In fact, this was a theme that DiDio and crew returned to time and again throughout their various panels. When asked whether the Anti-Monitor – not seen since the conclusion of 1986’s Crisis on Infinite Earths – would be returning, the DC panelists demurred and offered a coy “No comment” in response.
In fact, coy non-responsive answers were the predictable hallmark of the day, particularly when asked about key plot points or the return of characters that have seemingly been written out of action. The panelists declined to comment on whether L-Ron – the longtime companion and comic foil of OMAC villain Maxwell Lord during the Keith Giffen-J.M. DeMatteis run on Justice League – would return. As for Lord himself, an audience member asked, “Isn’t he supposed to be a cyborg?”, referring to a plot point in the final issue of the Lord-run Justice League’s comic.
DiDio and Rucka stated that in all the “Crisis Counseling” panels they’ve conducted this summer, this was the first time anyone had raised that particular point. DiDio related the story that various DC editors gathered to plan out the events leading up to Infinite Crisis. They knew they needed someone to steal away command of Brother Eye from Batman and considered many different characters to fill that role, including King Farraday, Sarge Steel and even Mr. Jupiter from the Teen Titans. All were ruled out for various reasons. When Joey Cavalieri suggested Max Lord, all in the room were in agreement that he would serve well. That is, until one unnamed editor in the room mentioned that he was revealed to be a cyborg in the final issue of Justice League America. After considering the question some more, DiDio asked the editors in the room, “Did anyone like that issue? Did anyone read that issue?” Getting negative responses to both, DiDio waved his hand and chose to wipe that particular slate clean.
The panelists were more forthcoming when asked about the fate of some other characters. When asked if there would be a new Blue Beetle, all panelists initially claimed to “have no idea what you’re talking about.” At the same time, DiDio emphasized that the major deaths that have taken place under his watch were not done capriciously. They were intended to resonate, create impact with the reader, and serve as a building block for a greater story. Resurrecting a dead character would be contrary to those purposes, and therefore, DiDio announced that under his watch neither Sue Dibny nor Ted Kord would be returning from the grave, to the vocal displeasure of the audience in attendance. Rucka said, “What do you want? He had a hole in his head with a breeze blowing through and his body was incinerated! How can you be any more clear than that?” DiDio later also emphasized that Barry Allen will not be coming back to assume to Flash mantle and that there were no plans at the current time to bring Atom back to action.
When asked about Nightwing’s fate following Infinite Crisis, DiDio responded by simply saying, “Poor Dick.” Earlier in the panel, when debunking the rumor of Barry Allen’s return and discussing the recent return of Hal Jordan, DiDio blurted that “Wally West is a great Flash for the time being.” When asked about his choice of words, DiDio said, “Who said that?” When told that he did, he simply responded, “Oh shit,” either implying that he had inadvertently slipped a key plot point to the audience, or perhaps, playfully toying with the audience’s anxiety knowing that many fans are concerned about DiDio’s past cryptic comments about “Flashes and Crisises.”
The Joker will apparently be key to the events of Villains United and Infinite Crisis. Both DiDio and Rucka pointedly remarked when an audience member asked about his whereabouts that it was a very good question, and one that would prove to be very significant in the months to come. “Remember that you were the first person to ask that question,” Rucka told the fan.
DiDio described Infinite Crisis as “the worst day in the history of the DC Universe.” There was no word on whether Green Arrow would die a horribly crappy death in the series, however, and whether we would look at everything differently knowing what we now know about Zatanna. The events of Infinite Crisis serve to fracture the relationship between the Big Three, who all serve as inspirations to the rest of the heroes in the DCU. As a result, the remaining heroes begin to question what they’re doing and why.
DiDio detailed how the events in Infinite Crisis will reach its climax. In issue #4, released in February 2006, a “unifying event” occurs, affecting the entire DCU. Issue #5 jumps ahead one year later from the timing of the previous month’s issue. Issue #6 is the final issue (check) and will be published in April 2006. The following month, all DCU titles participating in this event will jump ahead one year later in story time.
Interestingly, DiDio said that the current events in Hawkman take place before the Rann-Thanagar War.
As for other items of interest:
About The Legion, Mark Waid teased, “The death scene upcoming was a bear to write.” The first six issues of the series by Waid and Barry Kitson will soon be collected into trade format. When asked about collecting any previous incarnations of the Legion, such as Legion World and Legion Lost, DiDio said that there were no plans at the current time to re-print those stories and in fact, any Legion trades in the works would be collections of the Waid-Kitson stories.
DiDio said that Waid, Geoff Johns and Grant Morrison provide the best representations of the DCU and expressed great personal satisfaction at signing Waid to a DC-exclusive contract. DiDio said that signing Waid to such a contract had been a goal of his ever since he started at the company, and that he believed that with Waid, Johns and Morrison under exclusive contract with DC, the company was entering into an exciting new period of publication.
Bob Wayne stated that a 99-cent price point for 52 is “not a good idea.” No actual price for the comic was identified, but DiDio pointed out that for those readers who are buying OMAC, Rann-Thanagar War, Villains United, and Days of Vengeance are essentially buying a title a week anyway, so pricing 52 at the price of a regular comic should not be a heavy burden.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:30 PM
by the Your Mom's Basement Staff
Ultimatizing! Ultimaxing! Ultimatastic! Marvel has huge plans for its Ultimate line in the next year and Your Mom's Basement was there to hear it!
Let's start with Saturday's "Ultimate Avengers" panel where attendees were treated to a first glimpse of the first in a series of direct to DVD animated movies from Lions Gate and Marvel. It's important to state off the bat that these films are meant for comic fans and as long as comic fans buy then, Lions Gate plans to keep making them.
The first two quarterly released films will be "The Ultimates". With both films roughly following the first "season" of the comic. The third film will be Iron Man. But it will not be Ultimate Iron Man. It will instead be the regular Marvel universe Iron Man's origin story. In fact, there will be no overarching continuity between the animated films.
So what can fans expect from "Ultimate Avengers"? Honestly... I'm not sure. They plan to follow the storylines closely but it also seems like they'll be taking out anything controversial. There will be no real world politics. No George W. Bush. Also there were hints that there would be no domestic abuse between Giant Man and the Wasp for fear audience would then abandon the Giant Man character. Apparently Cap still fights Giant Man though, so he must still do something worthy of an ass kicking. And the presenters were also clear that the films would focus on Captain America and his story, so I worry that means we won't get as much about Iron Man or Thor.
The films will be roughly 85 minutes long and the first one will end with a drawn out fight between the Ultimates and the Hulk. The audience was then presented with test footage of that fight and... well... this reviewer seems to be in the minority... but I was largely unimpressed. It looked more "Mangaverse" than "Ultimates". And while I suppose that can be a good thing for some... it just didn't feel right to me.
But what about the books, you say? Well, Saturday also brought us a panel just on Marvel's plan for the Ultimate comics line and what we heard was quite exciting:
After the current gang war storyline concludes in Ultimate Spider-Man Spider-Man will face off against Ultimate Omega Red as Bendis apparently has a love of bad 90s characters.
There will be another Ultimate Iron Man series with a big name artist to be announced.
Ultimate Extinction will apparently have the "coolest thing you've ever seen" in it.
Leinil Yu will join Marvel for Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine. The writer is still unannounced. but Quesada said something interesting about the writer while at the podium. He said the writer's "name is lost to me." Which elicited laughs from the other panelists and made this reporter wonder a bit about what he had exactly said as it wasn't that funny in and of itself. Could it have been a hint? And if it was, could it mean that Marvel has gotten someone from the television show "Lost" as their writer? Both series creator J.J. Abrams and series writer Javier Grillo-Marxuach have ties to comics... In the series we will learn many new things about Ultimate Hulk's powers which apparently are not the same as the regular Hulk's.
In 2006 Bendis and Bagley will break the record of 103 consecutive issues by the same creative team. And in 2006 we can also expect "Ultimate Invasion" from Bendis and a "superstar" artist.
There will be an Ultimates 3. No announcement on the creative team. But you have to think you don't bring Jeph Loeb and Joe Madureira on board and have them do Spider-Ham, now do you? Also Quesada was asked about the "Pre-Ultimate Universe" Ultimate Universe book that was hinted years ago to possibly be Marvel Boy and said that idea had been dropped.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 11:00 PM
by the Your Mom's Basement staff
 Hey! Lookit that hippie in the front there! Look at his big hippie beard and backpack! Want some comics, hippie?!
... Fine... you're supposed to be Aurra Sing. God, I suck...
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Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:30 PM
Here's what you have to do:
1) Pick a picture below and give it a funny caption.
2) Send that caption in a PM to Your Mom on our forums.
3) We'll pick the funniest one. The winner gets a signed Ultimate Avengers DVD poster and a con-exclusive set of Marvel MiniMates.
Here are the pictures:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
I know, they practically write themselves, huh? Well then enter already! Just join the forum if you haven't already and send your caption to Your Mom in a Personal Message.
Entries due by Tuesday, August 16th!
The best entries will be published here and the grand prize winner will receive the following:
This poster signed by Ultimates Artist Bryan Hitch!
This set of Marvel MiniMates, only available at conventions!
See YMB's other convention pictures here.
Follow this link to the YMB forums where you can enter the contest by PMing Your Mom.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:00 PM
by Rajan Khanna
Tad Williams is a New York Times and London Sunday Times bestselling author of fantasy and science fiction, with novels published in twenty languages and a global readership. He hosted a syndicated radio show for over a decade, co-created the first completely interactive television program, and has worked in many forms of media, including film-making, theatre, television, and singing for several years in a rock n roll band. He lives quietly with his wife, children and cats in the redwood mountains above Silicon Valley. He writes at least one novel a year: his form is the epic, and Tad writes long, multi-book series.
In June 2001, Tad began a project called Shadowmarch, an online novel available by subscription, with new chapters being released twice a month. Unfortunately, the experiment (the first of its kind at that scale) was not successful enough to continue. Fortunately, that story, fleshed out in more detail, is now available in book form, the first of a several volume series.
RK: You're mostly known for long works of fiction. Even your stand alone novel, War of the Flowers, was a big book. Why do you think your writing lends itself to the long form and what are the advantages and disadvantages? Is it in any way influenced by your audience and the expectations of your readers?
TW: I can't say that I set out to write a particular size of book, it's just that some ideas are obviously longer and more complicated than others. (The obvious example being something like OTHERLAND.) I just want to tell the story at the length that seems right. Because Theo's story in FLOWERS was going to be almost entirely his viewpoint, as in TAILCHASER'S SONG, it seemed like a standalone.
My readers will obviously tolerate, and some may actually prefer, big books, but that's more the result of my approach, that I've found readers like that, rather than any attempt on my part to write any particular sort of thing.
RK: As someone who's written for a variety of media - novels, screenplays, comics, and others - do you find that you have to change the way you work or are you basically using the same 'muscles' for everything?
TW: The creativity muscles are the same, but, as with different sports, which ones get used most differs. Short works are all about fast-twitch, doing a lot quickly, whether in a short story by being more poetic and less expository, or in a film script by being more
action-oriented. A long novel, on the other hand, allows me to stretch out, to develop things slowly, especially plots and character development, and to bring in lots of small details that add to the symbolic patterns of the work.
RK: What is your writing routine like? Do you write every day? Are you an outliner? Do you play dialogue out in your head?
TW: I try to write every day, but in practice it doesn't always work out. I do more work in my head than most people -- I don't outline that much, but I work things through while I'm driving around, sitting and staring, etc., then write for fairly intense stretches of a couple of hours. A working day for me might be four to six hours of thinking while I do other things, then two or three hours of actual keyboard-punching.
RK: The idea for Shadowmarch was ambitious and experimental. Even though it (unfortunately) didn't work out the way that you'd planned, what did you take away from it? Did it in any way influence the way you write?
TW: I think it reinforced certain things I already did, namely that I trust my instincts (or subconscious, or Muse, or whatever you want to call it) to not get me into situations I can't get out of. In fact, my subconscious is usually much more creative than my conscious mind, and puts things together in a much more elegant way than if I tried
to force a completely intellectual solution.
Ultimately writing is a rather grand combination of plagiarism and invention, and the plagiarism part works best when you can cast through all the ideas you've seen and heard, real and fictional, and pick and choose and reassemble. Usually that works best at the level below conscious thought (although the conscious editing brain is important to make sure you're not repeating yourself, or using something too similar to someone else's reality or invention.)
RK: Would you ever try anything that experimental again? Are there any other ideas like that waiting in the wings?
TW: I've love to do more experimenting -- I'd enjoy writing a Douglas Adams style comedy, for instance, and publish it online. We'll see. I've got a lot of ambitions, and I have to ration them out, because most of them won't make any money, and I do have all those bills to pay, children to feed, stuff like that...
RK: You've been all over the genre map, writing animal fantasies, virtual reality stories, fantasy epics, and urban fantasies. Do you ever see yourself writing more mainstream works, perhaps shedding the genre label for a time? Why or why not?
TW: I'd be perfectly happy to write mainstream, but I don't think it will ever happen. First of all, I love the people I write for -- the readers of SF and Fantasy -- who will let me do pretty much anything I want as long as it's interesting. Second, it makes the publishers REALLY nervous. I'm at an age and career-point where writers start to repeat themselves, so I don't want to do that, but I don't necessarily want to alienate my editors and regular readers, either. I'm not stupid, whatever the rumors say.
RK: What was the best advice on writing that you've received?
TW: I don't remember who specifically said this, but I admire the person who said that writer's block is a crisis of confidence, not talent, and that if you don't panic, it'll resolve. I believe that firmly, and I've never had anything like writer's block. When I have to stop
for a little while, it's because I've got something that's not ready to be written. I just go write something else for a few days. It helps that I'm not one of those writers who feels too strongly that my own self-worth is being judged every time I write something.
RK: You've written comics before - any plans to venture back into that arena? Any dream projects you'd like to tackle?
TW: I have a comic coming out from DC sometime in the next year -- they're trying to get some of the last art issues resolved -- called THE NEXT, and I hope to be doing something else for them after that, possibly called THE FACTORY.
RK: You're a writer, a musician, you've worked in television and radio - are there any other areas you'd want to branch out into, any waters you'd like to test?
TW: I'd LOVE to go back to painting. I wouldn't mind playing music again regularly, too -- even just doing cover songs with a bar band. But painting is what I dream about. When the kids are a little older, perhaps, and the pull of parenthood isn't quite so constant.
RK: After the upcoming Shadowmarch releases, what can we expect from you?
TW: I'm currently in love with a project called (will almost certainly change) ARJUNA RISING, which is a science fiction story with galactic war, superheroes, and big chunks of the Mahabharata (the ILIAD of India), as well as a certain debt to Zelazny's LORD OF LIGHT and similar books. It's about Belief versus Reason, and seems like a lot
of fun.
I also have A CHRONICLE IN STONE on the burner, which is the promised semi-sequel to MEMORY, SORROW, AND THORN. And I'd like to do my fantasy/mystery, Heaven-and-Hell Cold War story, THE CHOIR INVISIBLE, too, if I can find the time.
RK: We've been hearing for a while now that the audience for fantasy and SF novels is shrinking, that the audience of comics is shrinking, and that nobody goes to see the movies anymore. Is it all doom and gloom? Your take?
TW: I don't know. I'm just writing stuff and, for now, enough people are buying it that I can keep writing it. Thinking about it any deeper than that gives me the collywobbles. That's my wife's job, and my agent's. (My wife is an ex-publisher, and pretty much keeps her fingers on the business side of things for us.)
RK: Recommend to our readers some of your recent favorites - books, movies, music, whatever.
TW: Music (newish albums): Beck, Mos Def, Fountains of Wayne, Missy Elliot, Secret Machines, Gorillaz
Movies: Nothing earth-shattering.
Books: OLYMPOS, FREAKONOMICS, KAFKA ON THE SHORE, tons of mythology
ART: Howard Finster
Discuss this article on our forums.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 10:03 AM
by the YMB investigative team
Since the introduction of the internet, there has been a rapid proliferation of file sharing between individuals. Music sharing via Napster and the like hit the headlines with songs being made available for free, without the consent of artists or publishers. That guy from Metallica was one of the most vocal Napster-haters and ended up being vilified by thousands. But I digress. While many of the sharing sites become legit and paid whopping fines (the two not being mutually exclusive), other methods of file sharing sprang up. As the number of sites increased, so the types of media diversified to encompass movies, TV shows, games and comic books.
While the MPAA have been actively seeking out those who share movies and other broadcast material, no one as yet has targeted those who download comic books.
There are various P2P methods to download and share comic books. For example using [uh-uh] technologies such as [nope] and [not a chance we’re telling you] and visiting sites like [I mean come on] or [You surely know about these already]. You simply download the [Its not that hard to find] and sit back and wait for the comics to come in. At the same time as you are downloading (and once you finish your download), you upload to other peers.
Other methods such as [but we’re not] or [about to tell you] are possibles as well, and as technology grows there will be others.
There have been many debates about the ethics of downloading comics, not to mention the actual aesthetics of reading them – most comic book readers would prefer to have the actual physical book in their hands rather than trying to read their favourite stories on a 17” monitor. The majority of people who have been vocal on message boards and forums have stated that they do not partake and do not condone it, but there must be just as large a silent community who do download and enjoy it. These are the ones YMB wanted to seek out.
From hanging out at forums where these guys and gals congregate we managed to arrange an interview with someone who we will call Comic Book Downloader. What follows is the transcript from the interview, conducted in his office/bedroom
YMB: So, Mr V, how did you get into downloading comics?
Mr V: I was just cruisin' the Internet, y'know? I had been downloadin' music before and stuff... eh... stuff, yeah.
YMB: Stuff?
V: Stuff. Y'know what I mean?
YMB: Not sure, but go on.
V: Anyway, I had been downloading and then I heard about [*!@$$?!@@!"] and that sort of thing. I checked out a couple of sites and found that not only could I download... stuff, but comics as well. I've been into comics for years and really thought this could be a Godsend.
YMB: How so?
V: Because there was so many comics and runs there that you can't get any more. At least not without paying through the nose.
YMB: I see. So it was the rarity factor then, that hooked you?
V: Yeah, that and the small download sizes relative to the... uh... stuff.
YMB: But generally, you were finding stuff online that it is difficult to find at comic shops, conventions, auction sites and the like?
V: Well, not stuff. You can't get stuff at comic shops or cons. Well, some cons, but not all of them by any means.
YMB: Apologies. To rephrase: You were finding comic books online that it is difficult to find elsewhere?
V: Yes. For example, in the first day I downloaded "Flex Mentallo", "Miracleman" and "Trouble".
YMB: But you can get them if you know where to look for them.
V: It costs an arm and a leg, y'know? I'm not paying over the odds for 4 issues of a Charles Atlas rip-off!
YMB: When it comes down to it, its the cost then?
V: I'm not cheap, y'know!
YMB: We're not saying you...
V: I'm not cheap. I've paid money for comic books before, and other things. I have a copy of New Avengers #1 and each of the 27 variants.
YMB: I thought there were only a handful of variants for that book?
V: Well I have 27!
YMB: You mentioned that you downloaded "Trouble". Surely that series isn't that hard to find? There's a reasonably priced trade paperback isn't there, and you can get the single issues for not much more than cover price, if not a lot less.
V: Well, it was there and I hadn't read it.
YMB: Was it your intention to read the downloaded copy and then perhaps buy it at a later date?
V: Why? Its there, its free and it wasn't that great.
YMB: Its also illegal, though.
V: What, being a bit crap? Man, there's so many books out there like that, that comics in general would be illegal. Hell, the 90s would mean life imprisonment for many creators.
YMB: No, I mean, its also illegal to download these materials. They're copyright and you're downloading them without paying a fee.
V: So? These companies are rich, so what if they don't get my $15 for a trade?
When we mentioned that the industry is littered with publishers that had gone to the wall due to poor sales and Marvel itself was close to bankruptcy just a few years ago, Mr V shrugged his shoulders and repeated "They're rich".
YMB: Even if that was the case and taking $15 for an average trade, what happens if 10,000 people download the comics? Wouldn't that mean that the publisher loses out on $150,000?
V: Yeah, well...
YMB: And what of the creators? They're not rich. They have families to feed, etc.
V: Yeah, well... uh... the majority of stuff that I download I actively seek out to buy in paper format as soon as I can.
YMB: Really?
V: Really. In fact, I'd say about 90% of the books I download, I then go out and physically purchase. Physically.
YMB: 90%?
V: More like 97%. No, 98%.
YMB: So, how many comics do you think you have downloaded?
V: About 20,000.
YMB: 20,000?
Mr V pointed to a cupboard in the corner which had hundreds of CDs and DVDs stacked high, and teetering.
V: Yep. Its the best collection in the Midwest I believe.
YMB: And you've bought about 98% of those?
V: Give or take.
YMB: How much should we give or take?
V: Its... its one of the biggest collections in the Midwest, you know. Can we move on please?
YMB: Okay. Well, you have hundreds of CDs and DVDs over there, all with comics on them?
V: Uh-huh.
YMB: So, which of these... hundreds of CDs contains your favorite comic storyline or run?
V: What? Oh, I haven't read any of them.
YMB: You haven't?
V: Nope.
YMB: Why ever not?
V: They're worth more if they're in mint condition you know.
YMB: But they're downloads, not actual print copies.
V: Yeah, but there's still a demand and that demand will increase over time. People throw out comics every day. My mum still has a bit of a purge from down the side of my bed
from time to time.
YMB: Thats unbelievable.
V: I know. She doesn't warn me, so she sometimes finds my... stuff.
YMB: Okay. Well, thanks very much.
V: Have you downloaded any comics?
YMB: Uh... no. Why?
V: Then you haven't lived my friend.
YMB: How so?
V: The rush when you find something rare is unbelievable. I swear its better than having sex... probably.
YMB: Quite. Well, thanks very much for your time.
We decided that Mr V couldn't be the only example of a downloader. How could all of these people be such hoarders and... unique in their perspectives? After some investigation however, we found
there was quite a black market for downloaded comics. A tip off lead us to a local Microbrew place in San Francisco's Bay Area where we met Mr S.
YMB: So, you don't mind talking to us?
S: As long as you're buying, I don't mind yackin'.
YMB: Then you admit selling downloaded comics?
S: I have that complete run of Chuck Austen books, including "Small Favors" and "Worldwatch" that you asked for.
YMB: Uh... yeah.
S: So yeah, I sell downloaded comics.
YMB: What's the point? Who buys?
S: Other than journalists? People. Ordinary people.
YMB: Can't they download?
S: Some people don't have DSL or whatever. They need product just the same as the other Internet gurus y'know? An email; a meeting; a transaction. You can do that with 56K of bandwidth easily.
YMB: Its lucrative then?
S: I used to sell cassettes in the 70s/80s, CDs in the 80s/90s. It is a natural extension.
YMB: So what are the biggest sellers? "Miracleman"? "Flex Mentallo"? That issue of Elektra where she was drawn naked?
S: Nope. Its the rare stuff.
YMB: Aren't they rare?
S: Damn man, you can get them if you know where to look. The rare books are the ones that absolutely no-one can lay their hands on. People pay the big bucks for those.
YMB: For example?
S: Byrne's "Spider-Man: Chapter One".
YMB: Huh?
S: Everyone who bought it burnt it. Except this one guy in Rio de Janerio. I hooked up with him a few months ago and we've been making a killing ever since.
We decided to take our leave there as things were becoming more and more ludicrous. However questions still buzzed round like a bee trapped in a jam jar which you then proceeded to run down a hill in a warm Summer's day.
We know that there are people who benefit from downloading comics, and those that lose out but is there any real harm? And what if the publishers decided to make their comics legitimately downloadable 2-3 months after they are published, if there is no way they will reprint in single issue or trade format? Who would buy the first 5 issues of a book, find that 6-8 are sold out and won't be reprinted, and then just shrug and pick up issues 9 on?
Marvel (as far as we know they're the only ones, so please don't burn us in effigy if others do the same) are now selling CDs with complete (as near as damn it) runs of seminal comic books - Fantastic Four and Spider-Man (we believe, look we have no real time to check sources okay? We don't get paid for this) are two that spring to mind. How about if others do the same, get the price point right and people can buy all the issues they desire?
Sorry. Almost got all journalistic there.
Please discuss this on the message boards.
Posted by YourMomsBasement at 04:03 PM
Part I: TIM MCCARVER, DUMBEST MAN IN AMERICA.
by Jim Dandy
Dear God, I'd pay money to hear him explain ANYTHING to brain surgeons.
I decided to do an ongoing feature. It seems to be common knowledge that color commentators at sporting events are possibly the dumbest and worst possible people to give a microphone to. I’m pretty sure the major sports networks could follow around a local TV news crew and hire the guy the news crew just interviewed (the idiot interviewed for “local flavor” with keen insights into murders and kidnappings, like “He never seemed like a HI MOM bad guy to me” or “I think they should chemically castrate jaywalkers”) to do color for these games, and they would be a marked improvement over the morons in the booth now. I’m using this column to document the atrocities from the All Star game, brought to us by the insightful team of Joe “Moral Outrage” Buck and Tim McCarver. After, I’m going to look at the Abu Ghraib pictures to make myself feel better.
And McCarver offers up a gem in the first inning.
“How about Abreu, wins the Home Run hitting contest and comes out the next night and hits a single.”
Thank CHRIST you actually played the game, and you’re able to give us that keen insight, Tim. Not “HR Derby pitching is easier than BP pitching” but “Isn’t it amazing that he’s not swinging for the fences, even though he’s a good hitter?”
“Two Lees on the National League squad tonight!”
I bet there’s someone in Detroit who’s named “Smith,” too, Timmy.
Aside: Fox just played “Like A Rock” going to commercial. Just throwing that out there. Do with it what you will.
Johnny Damon hits a ball in the hole between short and third, and McCarver called it a “Designed play.” I wish he’d do football games. He’d be mystified.
And now, Hair Metal from Fox.
OH MY GOD. They played that Eminem song where he yells a few times, the one with the Crank Yankers puppets in the video. McCarver just did the “aah aah aah aah aah aah.” Awesome.
Fo' shizzle.
Re: Vlad Guerrero. “It’s not a strike zone, it’s more of a strike a
