or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Freakshow

by J. Brent Stewart

In my time as an ambulatory geek I’ve visited a variety of comic conventions, sci-fi conventions, model-kit conventions, horror conventions, convention conventions, convection ovens, and their ilk.

But even though I’ve run the geek gamut, from the immense San Diego Comic Con to the tiny Wonderfest, none of them can match DragonCon, or take its place in my heart.

Why DragonCon? What IS DragonCon, anyway? And how/why did I start attending?

Sit, child.

DragonCon is the glitter-bedazzled queen of all conventions. It’s a Comic con, sure. It’s a science fiction con, to be certain. Horror con? You bet. Anime and cosplay con? One of the best in the land. RenFair? That’s covered too. Goth Ball? Of course!

A DragonCon Diorama: Fake absinthe, whiskey, pills, Star Trek uniform

Any and every facet of genre entertainment is covered in some way. And that’s the key:

YOU BELONG.

Knee-socks & Skirt-Man meets AssFlaps! Another Classic DragonCon Moment!

For four days in the sweltering Georgia summer heat, downtown Atlanta becomes a safehaven, a place where you can truly fly your freak flag, no matter what subspecies of genre-lover you might be.

Klingons walk the streets in Hawaiian shirts.

Why did the Hawaiian-shirted Klingon cross the road? Oh never mind.

Stormtroopers march…to Hooters, where they take off their helmets and eat hot wings. The X-Men roam the halls while the forces of Cobra amass in the lobby. Colonial Marines trade armor tips with Cylons and Robocops.

Brent didn't realize they were from the Authority until after he had the pics developed...he just saw hot chicks and pounced. Drunkenly.

There are goth/industrial dance events, with rubber-clad goth chicks and vampires roaming the floors. Filk Festivals await you, if you like folk music about, you know, elves and crap like that (not a favorite of mine…go figure).

There are Troma movie premieres!

Rock Concerts by Gwar, the Misfits, Clutch, Spock’s Beard, and more!

Wrestling Events featuring, uh, the Iron Sheik! (I’m not into wrestling, but I know the wrestling thing is a big deal every year, and, you know, I saw the Iron Sheik there once…he was very proud of his boots. “Get the boots! The boots!” he demanded when I took his picture. And I got the boots. Oh yes, I got them).

The Annual Dawn Lookalike Contest, with grand prizes given directly by Joseph Michael Linsner!

The freaky Parade through Downtown Atlanta!

And one of the biggest Masquerade/Costume Contests in the land!

Hellatubby!

Green Hornet, not to be confused with Lantern, Arrow, Giant, Jello, Beans, etc.

Really cool full-scale Speeder Bike/Biker Scout costumes. Their real legs came out at the bottom, alll in black. Viewed from a distance it looked like they were flying. No shit!

There are rooms full of gamers…and by gamers, I mean CCG’s, miniatures, LARPs, and MMORPGS…pretty much anything that involves rolling a die, dealing a card, or clicking a mouse…it’s there!

There are rooms full of comic pros, waiting to sign your comics, draw free sketches, do paid commissions, and listen to you complain about Geoff Johns!

Every year, more than 20,000 (as many as 35,000) of your strangest friends are convening upon this southern citadel to do the things they love to do, and not apologize for it!

Yes, for four days, you can be yourself, or you can be someone else. Put in the contact lenses and don the wig…or in some cases, grease yourself up and wriggle into your latex bodysuit. Whatever you want to be, you can be it here. Like Dr. Frankenfurter instructed: “Don’t dream it; be it.” Is it any coincidence that one of the annual attractions is a big live performance of Rocky Horror? Of course not!

A common sight at the check-in counter during DragonCon.

And yet more straps in asses.

In the summer of 1997, I was an idealistic young man working at a comic shop who had never really taken a “road trip” before. The thought had never really occurred to me. “Comic conventions” were something that you attended if you lived within the city the con was taking place. Traveling to attend a show? Who’d ever heard of such a thing.

Then my friend Kirk presented our peer group with the idea of DragonCon.

It was only about 7 hours away, rooms were relatively easy to book, and the guest list boasted numerous comic and film personalities.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the group agreed to try it. So it was that my friends Danny, Jason, Chris and myself loaded into my Dad’s van, and headed south!

Nothing could prepare me for what I found.

So much stuff! Imported toys, dolls, anime, videos, models, swords,
I met B-movie starlets! I met comic stars (Evan Dorkin, who was awesome and posed for a pic and gave me a sketch! Art Adams, who was gracious and also gave me a sketch! John Byrne, who…uh…well, he was John Byrne!)

Evan Dorkin doesn't like you.

At most cons, once the dealer and exhibitor rooms have closed, the show is, well, basically over. And I kick myself now for heading back to my hotel room after this happened on my first trip.

However, by staying out a bit later on that second night, I learned that the true allure of the convention comes after dark. After all, the freaks come out at night.

At the time, the con was being held in the Atlanta Apparel Mart and Convention Center. On the lower levels were a series of movie rooms, where you could watch hard to find imported films and anime with other fans. There was a feeling of camaraderie as you sat in the dark and enjoyed something that few others in the US had seen.

Also on this floor was a large theater, where I beheld the defining moments of that initial con…the moments which would fully crystallize the idea of DragonCon in my mind, and make me a believer:

First was the Bettie Page fashion show, in which numerous lovely ladies competed in a beauty contest, attempting to emulate the my dark goddess of cheesecake.
Needless to say, as a longtime Bettie-lover, this caught my attention.

Following the show (and a bondage/s&m demo by local, uh, performance artists “Torture Garden”) we made our way to the lobby, where we met an older man…who was dragged out in full Betty regalia. We took our picture with him, and had him sign our sketchbook. Because in this generous, friendly man, a man who probably has to wear a suit and tie every day, we found the magic element that makes DragonCon click: you truly can be yourself…or somebody else, if you want. Everyone is supportive of everyone else’s “quirks”.

Your humble narrator has a drunken lapse in judgement.

Later, in the same large hall, I walked by the masquerade. At the time I had no idea that it was such an important component of the convention, but what I witnessed, again, defined the experience for me: Star Trek TNG theme plays as Jean Luc-Picard walks onto the stage. It’s a pretty convincing get-up, better than what you’d get at, say, Spencer Gifts, and the guy actually looked like Picard.

Soon, the music changed to…the Village People…and before I even knew what was happening, Picard was stripped down to a thong, with a Starfleet Emblem emblazoned on the crotch.

JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN ATLANTA?

I wasn’t sure. But in a way, I was sure that I was home.

In subsequent years, the hotel would leave the Apparel Mart/Convention Center, and move most of its activities and events to the Hyatt Regency Atlanta, which added an entirely new layer of charm to the festivities.

As I said, after the convention floors close, the party is only getting started. And if you’re staying in the Hyatt, the party is going 24 hours a day.

Pain Proof Rubber Girl!!!

Slymenstra Hymen's Girly Freak Show!

The HRA is one of the loveliest hotels in the south, a beautiful open-aired, atrium-style affair. You can walk out of the front door to your room and peer over the balcony straight down to the lobby, where thousands (literally) of people are milling about drinking, taking pictures, and enjoying themselves.

Hyatt atrium-style hotel...complete with avant-gard floating martini glass sculpture!

The glass elevators never stop running, as they scream from the ground levels to the upper levels incessantly. It’s not unusual to hear the alarm bell ring all the way up and down, up and down, for hours on end, far into the night.

To be sure, whether you sleep or not is not an issue. The party never sleeps.

And that’s it, for me, folks. It’s a four day opportunity to buy a lot of cool stuff, meet a lot of pros that I admire, see stuff I haven’t seen before, meet girls (did I mention that the female attendance is easily on par with the male attendance, which is possibly the biggest difference between this and any other convention in the world?), ogle near-naked bondage/vampire chicks, and feel like I’ve found my freaky family.

These Borg are wearing sweatpants...resistance to elastic is futile!

Continue to Part 2



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