This scene? Never happens within the film.

Is There Anything Better Than...

Red Dawn? Yes, of course there is. But also not. You'll see.

For one, this was the first movie ever released with the rating of 'PG-13.' That's historical fact. After PG-rated films such as Raiders of the Last Arc and Gremlins came out and pissed off the 'rents with their graphic violence, the MPAA came up with the PG-13 rating in an attempt to shut up the parents groups who were interrupting their money-counting. So Red Dawn was granted this new, unproven rating as it was quite the violent movie. In fact per IMDB.com, "This film was entered into the Guinness Book of Records as having the most acts of violence of any film up to that time." Can't front on that. Despite the new, unproven rating Red Dawn took 8 million dollars on its opening day. Sounds like not a lot now, but in 1984 that was still some serious cheddar.

Plot:

The dirty, evil Commies invade America via the Bering Strait and Mexico! Colorado is lost, >and only a group of 8 plucky and patriotic teens could save the country from the Red Menace!

I was perhaps ten when I saw this, in Reagan's America. Cold War paranoia was still going strong. The old coot referred to the Russians as the 'Evil Empire,' and as a kid who's earliest memories include both the Empire and Doctor Doom as my personal definition of evil...lets put it this way: I did not like the 'Commies.' I feared them.

This movie scared the living shit out of me when I was a lad. Images of Russian and Cuban soldiers parachuting down into a small town in Colorado scared the figurative bejesus out of me. I mean, what if this had happened to us? Images of the evil forces of communism parachuting down into Boston filled my head, leaving me to plan (well, daydream) contingency plans to defend myself and my family from the Red Menace. This movie grabbed me by the brain and shook me. How could America withstand such a threat?!

Ah, but how could I (or the dirty commies) forget the high school football team? WOLVERIIIIIIINES!

Cleancut 'Mericans!

Yes, armed with hunting rifles, hunting bows, and then eventually stolen Russian AK-47's (the'in' assault weapon of the 80's-sorry M-16, you're old news) and rocket launchers, the former small town football heroes team up and form a well-organized guerilla unit that takes to the hills of suburban Colorado to take it to those nasty commies. And guess what! They win! In that they get whittled down one by one, ultimately dying on a swingset! And still, their noble battle cry makes my spirit soar! WOLVERIIIIIIINES!!

And the cast. Oh, that cast. It is not unlike a poor man's 'The Outsiders.' You have your Patrick Swayze AND Jennifer Grey several years before they would heat up the screen in Dirty Dancing. Okay, there's a little something-something for the ladies. Also Charlie Sheen, star of 'Two and a Half Men' and prostitute enthusiast. Lea 'Caroline in the City' Thompson, just a year before she hit it big as Marty's hot mom in Back to the Future.

I can barely see the Sheen

And you have your C. Thomas Howell. I concede that while I find this movie to be excellent for the most part (WOLVERIIIIIINES!!) his character part here...well, it went a little beyond his means. Because when you want somebody to effectively convey the horrors of war on a young man's heart and soul, you go with the babyfaced C. Thomas "Soul Man" Howell. I love when he gets all hardened and has to shoot his friend for turning traitor on the Wolverines. It's such an effective rendition of some Hollywood kid trying to act like a tough guy. And to complement the rest of the the cast as the movie takes a dramatic turn for the cheese: Powers Boothe shows up, as a renegade Air Force colonel. Powers Boothe is...well, he's Powers Boothe. Oscar caliber? Nay, my friends nay. His name is Powers.

And of course, Harry Dean Stanton as dad to Sheen and Swayze. You cannot front on Harry Dean Stanton. The guy's amazing, even in cheestacular right-wing terror fantasy films such as this one. Remembering his plaintive cries from the drive-in/internment camp where the evil Russians made the captive menfolk of this small town Colorado town watch Aleksandr Nevsky...oooh, that's good cheese. Good cheese. "AVENGE ME BOYS! AVENGE MEEEE!!" I am amazed and impressed that he managed to yell that with as straight a face as he did.

...not convinced?

Fair enough. There's a lot of cheese out there in the video tores and on Netflix, so I can understand how Red Dawn could be a hard sell to someone. I mean: I love it, but I also love a lot of ludicrous stuff. You do too. Somewhere on this very website is someone who can and will defend Hudson Hawk as a quality film, and try to find a way to convince others that it had some sort of bullshit serious societal impact on popular culture as a whole. Ahh, but peep this:

QUOTE(Amazon.com)
But if you can get beyond that tactical hurdle, the backyard war against Communism is irresistable to the Conservative heart. As long as somewhere in the land, a truckdriver is at rest in his sleeper cab, one hand on his 9mm Glock and the other on his remote pressing "play" for the Red Dawn DVD in his mini-TV, America is safe.

A user review from Amazon.com, your best stop for slightly sketchy movie reviews. Note to self: do not piss off truckers. Another one:

QUOTE(Amazon.com)
As someone who graduated from high school in 1984 I can tell you most in my generation loved this movie! It featured a great cast of rising stars and plenty of action. The cold war was at it's heighth and it sent a reassuring message that American bravery would win out over the commies!!! Red blooded Americans will love it...left-wingers will cringe and go watch a Warren Beatty film.

Hey buddy, step back! Dick Tracy was an underrated film! And Bulworth was surprisingly intelligent! Okay, one more crazyguy review:

QUOTE(Amazon.com)
If I had been able to choose any career, when I was a highschool student filling out career aptitude forms, my top 3 choices would have been:

1) AK 47 toting guerilla freedom fighter

2) AK 47 toting guerilla freedom fighter
and
3) AK 47 toting guerilla freedom fighter

Actual movie prop!

I mean, holy shit. Dude, that's messed up. And you want to know something similarly messed up? I sort of feel what he's saying. WOLVERIIIIINES!! When I was a kid, it was about battling evil, fighting for freedom; being a hero, being a good guy. There were many factors in my youth that formed my idea of what being a 'good guy' was, and Red Dawn...well it definitely played a part. This movie stuck with me, and it obviously stuck with these...interesting individuals. Moreso than with me - when I was in high school I wanted to be Spider-Man. Sadly, that job was taken.

This movie left an impression on me that still persists today. Both in a personal manner, as well as in the oh-so-valuable 'this movie's so cheesy it RULES' manner. So I say that in terms of 80's war movies: there is nothing better than 'Red Dawn.' Please feel free to disagree, and see if you can prove me wrong.

One last review quote to shed some light on the caliber of the reviewers of Amazon:

QUOTE(Amazon.com)
Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey do look really good in grubby, army-surplus commando gear. It raises the question, why don't more women don't occasionally toss on a beret or special forces sweater? I would think it would be a low cost way of supplementing a wardrobe and adding a little spice to casual outfits.

Teh hotness! OMG LOL!
He's Gene Shalit to my Roger Ebert.

...WOLVERIIIIIINES!!