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July 27, 2006

What the #@%!'s WRONG with you?!!

Dude . . . .

Why? WHY????

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not have enough to do in your free time? Don't have you enough re-prints of comics from the 70s to keep you occupied? Don't you, you know, have a frickin' JOB or anything??? Why THIS????

The primary purpose of this essay is to examine the life and times of Gwen Stacy and Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, and how I (and many, many others) feel these characters (as well as Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson-Parker) have been blatantly defiled by writer J. Michael Straczynski's "Sins Past" storyarc in Amazing Spider-Man # 509-514 (which revealed that Gwen Stacy had a fling with Norman Osborn and secretly had his children before he killed her).

It's also designed to dissect and debunk Sins Past, and show how the numerous retcons and mischaracterizations that appear in the storyline are simply not possible. I feel that consistency of character is more important than strict continuity, but since JMS and the gang have insisted on dredging up the past and retconning it, I will show, point-by-point, how the events depicted in this story are not possible.

Dude. Seriously. We hate that particular little retcon as much as you do. Trust us. But seriously, get a frickin' life already, okay?

IT WAS 121,896 WORDS LONG. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY SIX. That's approximately 488 typed, double-spaced pages. You maniac.

Posted by YMB Staff at July 27, 2006 07:50 AM