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July 21, 2006

Give him a stinkpalm!!! (with audio!)

By now, you may have heard of the flack that arose after Good Morning America's movie critic, Joel Siegel, loudly walked out of an advance screening of Clerks II.

"First movie I've walked out of in 30 [expletive] years!" the Post quotes him saying of the sequel, which follows the continuing misadventures of two convenient store slackers 10 years after audiences discovered them in the 1994 indie sensation Clerks.

"It was so foul and mean and repulsive. I finally realized I could not say anything positive," he said to the Post. "I wasn't ready for this kind of smut...I hope he doesn't make any more movies."

Of course, this being the Internet age and this being a flick by Kevin Smith we're talking about, there was bound to be a response by Smith on his blog, right?

You’d imagine this would bother me, and yet, I’m as delighted by this news as I was with the eight minute standing ovation “Clerks II” received in Cannes.

I mean, it’s Joel Siegel, for Christ’s sake. As Paul Thomas Anderson once said of the man, getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. . . .

. . . .

Now, I don’t need Joel Siegel to suck my dick the way he apparently sucks M. Night’s, gushing over his flick before he’s even seen it; but shit, man - how about a little common fucking courtesy?
Never mind the fact that when you’re paid to watch movies for a living and the only tasks required of you are to a) sit through said movies and b) write your thoughts about them before your deadline, walking out before a movie’s over is pretty unprofessional. Never mind the fact that the scene he was offended by (the ordering of the donkey show), with its (misleading) crude references is only the set-up to a third act pay-off that is a true bait-and-switch from where Joel’s imagination went (and if you’ve already seen the flick, you KNOW what I’m talking about). . . .

You never… NEVER disrupt a movie, simply because you don’t like it.

Cardinal rule of movie-going: shut your fucking mouth while the movie’s playing. . . . If you want to share your displeasure with everyone, that’s fine, dude; just do it AFTER the movie, not during. Some folks were enjoying themselves. I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like “‘Shark Tale’ Is a Halibut Good Time”; so don’t fuck with my stuff WHILE IT’S STILL SCREENING.

It doesn't end there, though. Apparently, Smith went on the Opie & Anthony radio show and bitched about Siegel so much, they called him right then and there. Smith posted an audio clip of the call on his blog and we link you here.

Posted by YMB Staff at July 21, 2006 10:40 AM